The Best 21 Alien Abduction Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Alien Abduction jokes. There are some alien abduction jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these alien abduction puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Alien Abduction Jokes and Puns

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables.

Turns out I was on the mothership.

Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and aliens.

Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.

How do redneck aliens abduct people?

Tractor beam

Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers.

They're always raising the steaks.

Alien abduction

Harry, Bill, and Steve are siting at the corner bar, when Ted walks in looking distressed. "Ted, you look awful. What's wrong?" Harry asks.
Ted says, "Last night I got really drunk and was abducted by an alien." Everyone is shocked. Bill asks, "What did the alien do to you?" "All I remember is being anally probed." Ted says. Everyone is horrified. "I heard that they'll do that." Says Harry. "What did the alien look like?" Ted responds, "Steve."


Chuck Norris was abducted by aliens.

The aliens were never seen again.

Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?

If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus accident.
If there are four legs in the air, the rider was abducted by aliens and died in space.

I got abducted by aliens...

I was told to do my all chores, eat my veggies, take a shower and brush my teeth.

It was then I realized I was in the mother ship.

If you've been kidnapped by immigrants

You've been abducted by aliens

Ever wondered why only morons report being abducted by Aliens?

Because the Aliens don't keep the stupid ones.

I was abducted by aliens last night

I tried to communicate, but I didn't know Spanish

You can explore alien abduction reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alien abduction dad jokes. There are also alien abduction puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do aliens only abduct white people?

Because they are easier to see in the dark.

I have been abducted by aliens searching for people with Alzheimer's.

When I woke up, the first thing they asked me was which date is today. I'm afraid "how did I get here" was not a good answer.

When a fish get caught by humans

Do other fishes think that he was abducted by aliens ?

When the aliens started abducting cows, that's when I knew.

That what we had was a one time thing.

What do you call it when a foreigner kidnaps your son?

An alien abduction.

Chuck Norris abducts aliens.

Yoko Ono was abducted by alien lawyers in a UFO

They offered to represent her pro bono

My friend's teenage daughter couldn't stop talking to me about aliens and UFOs

That's cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted


I was abducted by aliens

We almost got to the border

Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alien abduction jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working alien abduction piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes