Alien Abduction Jokes

37 alien abduction jokes and hilarious alien abduction puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alien abduction that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Alien Abduction Short Jokes

Short alien abduction jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alien abduction humour may include short abducted jokes also.

  1. Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and alien. Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.
  2. I told my wife I'd never leave her unless aliens came to take me. It has taken 30 years but I finally have enough for Industrial Light and Magic to do an alien abduction scene.
  3. I have been abducted by aliens searching for people with Alzheimer's. When I woke up, the first thing they asked me was which date is today. I'm afraid "how did I get here" was not a good answer.
  4. When the aliens started abducting cows, that's when I knew. That what we had was a one time thing.
  5. My friend's teenage daughter couldn't stop talking to me about aliens and UFOs That's cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted
  6. I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and e**... vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.
  7. I got abducted by aliens... I was told to do my all chores, e**... veggies, take a shower and brush my teeth.
    It was then I realized I was in the mother ship.
  8. Ever wondered why only morons report being abducted by Aliens? Because the Aliens don't keep the s**... ones.
  9. A bigot and an i**... immigrant walk into a bar, what happens? The alien abducts the bigot.

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Alien Abduction One Liners

Which alien abduction one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alien abduction? I can suggest the ones about extraterrestrial and alien.

  1. Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers. They're always raising the steaks.
  2. Every fish you catch and release goes home with an alien abduction story.
  3. Chuck Norris was abducted by aliens. The aliens were never seen again.
  4. If you've been kidnapped by immigrants You've been abducted by aliens
  5. I was abducted by aliens last night I tried to communicate, but I didn't know Spanish
  6. Why do aliens only abduct white people? Because they are easier to see in the dark.
  7. When a fish get caught by humans Do other fishes think that he was abducted by aliens ?
  8. What do you call it when a foreigner kidnaps your son? An alien abduction.
  9. Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
  10. Yoko Ono was abducted by alien lawyers in a UFO They offered to represent her pro bono
  11. I was abducted by aliens We almost got to the border
  12. Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
  13. Wanna hear something ironic? Aliens abduct a fisherman
  14. Aliens who abducted a drunk Russian gave in... and let him drive for a bit.
  15. How do r**... aliens abduct people? Tractor beam

Silly & Ridiculous Alien Abduction Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about alien abduction you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kidnapping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alien abduction pranks.

Alien abduction

Harry, Bill, and Steve are siting at the corner bar, when Ted walks in looking distressed. "Ted, you look awful. What's wrong?" Harry asks.
Ted says, "Last night I got really drunk and was abducted by an alien." Everyone is shocked. Bill asks, "What did the alien do to you?" "All I remember is being anally probed." Ted says. Everyone is horrified. "I heard that they'll do that." Says Harry. "What did the alien look like?" Ted responds, "Steve."

Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?

If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus accident.
If there are four legs in the air, the rider was abducted by aliens and died in space.