Alice Jokes

Following is our collection of polly humor and julie one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Alice puns for adults, dirty hannah jokes or clean limericks gags for kids.

There is an abundance of elizabeth jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 31 funniest jokes on alice. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any nathan witze you can hear about alice.

The Best jokes about Alice

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland? and it's getting really annoying

My Friend asked me Are you mad at her?

I relied with Don't you start too

I said to my friend, My girlfriend keeps asking me if I'm an Alice in Wonderland character, and it's getting really annoying!

He said, Are you mad at her?

I said, Geez! Don't you start too!

Technology has ruined our kids

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make? "
"It goes moo. "
"Alice, what noise does a cat make? "
"It goes meow. "
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "
"It goes baaa. "
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "
"Errr.., it goes.. click! "

So, I have these friends, Richard and Alice...

And as it turns out, Richard is very strongly attracted to Alice. He asks her if the two of them can have sex, offering her $100 and stating that he'll be done by the time she picks it up. She agrees, and gets on the bed as Richard produces his hundred dollars.

"You know you're not actually gonna get that much time, right?" Alice asked him. "I mean, the time it takes to pick up $100 is pretty small."

Richard grinned and held up his hundred dollars in quarters, before dumping them all over the bed.

Alice grinned back, rolled up the sheet, and left.

Freddy the fungus and Alice the algae met one another and...

they took a lichen to each other


I like rock bands named after their lead singers

Like Marilyn Manson, Alice Cooper, and Tool.

I told my doctor I was having issues during sex. He said Cialis.

Could someone tell me where I find Alice?

What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture...

What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture on the Northern Lights to the people of Wonderland?

Aurora boring Alice.

I can relate to Alice in Wonderland.

She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems

where did alice go during the explosion?

everywhere

A man answers a call on his cell phone.

Lady: Hello Sir, I want to meet & talk to you.
Man: Do you know me?
Lady: Yes, you are the FATHER of one of my KIDS!

Man stunned,oh my God!

Are you Fiona
No.
Are you Julie?
No.
Are you Cissy??
No.
Are you Flavia?
No.
Are you Alice?
No.
Are you Claudia?
No.
Are you Vannesa?
No.
Are you Grace?
No.
Are you Sarah?
No.
Are you Lydia?
No.
Are you Agnes?
No.
Are you Oliver?
No.
Are you Beth?
No.
Are you Carol?
No.
Are you Gloria?


No Sir, I am the class Teacher of your son
but you just made my day.


What is R. Kelly's favorite band?

Alice In Chains.

You know what's great about Alice In Chains?

She can't get away.

A husband came home to his wife in tears.

I've been insulted, she sobbed. Your mother insulted me.

My mother! he exclaimed. But she lives in a different city.

I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.

He looked stern, I see, but where does the insult come in?

In the postscript, she answered.

It said: 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George'.

What did Alice Young say to Michael Young when they got married?

You keep me Young

Sex.....

Daddy is digging in the flower bed when little seven-yr-old Alice comes running out of the house, shouting, "Daddy, what's sex?"

He slowly drops his spade, straightens up and draws a deep breath. "Well, darling, it's like this... " he says, and starts rather reluctantly, giving a long and careful explanation of the ins and outs of the whole thing.

After about ten minutes he asks if she has understood. She nods silently. He then asks her why she so suddenly asked this question. "Oh, Mummy said to tell you that lunch will be ready in two secs", she replies.

A guy is lost in the mall and start shouting for his wife.

Alice! Alice!, suddenly he hears another voice shouting the same name Alice!! Alice!, he turns and looks at him and shouts HEY! is your wife named Alice too? No but I guess since shes banging a guy like you I got a shot. Alice!

They're making a x rated version of Alice in wonderland where Alice is played by a dominiatrix

It's called Alice in chains

A Poem

I dug.

Alice dug.

Vincent dug.

Dad dug.

My sister dug.



I know its not a good poem, but it rhymes and its really deep.

(A friend just texted me this. I thought it was funny.)


So, I saw the movie Still Alice last night.

It's easily forgettable.

C.C. DeVille and Bret Michaels just announced a new song about a yound drug addict who makes barrels

Alice Cooper by Poison

What does Alice Cooper say when he finishes a golf game?

Im at 18!

True story

My fathers name is Edward, Ed for short, and my mother's name is Alice. The joke was if you have a problem with Ed, see Alice.

A biologist had twin daughters

Named the first one Alice, and the second Control.

Today I overheard a conversation between Bob and Alice.

Sadly I couldn't decipher what they were saying.

When Alice Cooper goes to the loo

Would it be a Cooper Pooper?

A Following Person

A teacher was sitting at her desk grading papers when her first-grade class came back from lunch. Alice informed the teacher, "Paul has to go to the principal's office."

"I wonder why," the teacher mused.

"Because he's a following person," Alice replied.

"A what?" the teacher asked.

"It came over the loudspeaker: 'The following persons are to go to the office.'"

What did Alice take to get to Wonderland?

Alice D

Alice and Bob are at a bar...

Alice and Bob are at a bar. Alice is menstruating.

Suddenly, Alice stands up and says to Bob, "I've got to go change my pad, be right back"

Bob asks, "Why don't you just wash it and keep using it?"

"I can't. It's a one-time pad."

I think I might be a homosexual

A list of girls in the order I dated them:
Haley
Emily
Lacy
Patrice
Megan
Elise
Irene
Maggy
Genevieve
Alice
Yolanda

Why didn't Clark come to the class

Alice: Hey, why didn't Clark come to the evening class yesterday? It was our first class in this semester...

Bob: I don't think he's very fond of crypto nights.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes