The Best 34 Alice Jokes

Following is our collection of Alice jokes which are very funny. There are some alice julie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these alice limericks puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

where did alice go during the explosion?

everywhere

Technology has ruined our kids

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make? "
"It goes moo. "
"Alice, what noise does a cat make? "
"It goes meow. "
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "
"It goes baaa. "
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "
"Errr.., it goes.. click! "

A Following Person

A teacher was sitting at her desk grading papers when her first-grade class came back from lunch. Alice informed the teacher, "Paul has to go to the principal's office."

"I wonder why," the teacher mused.

"Because he's a following person," Alice replied.

"A what?" the teacher asked.

"It came over the loudspeaker: 'The following persons are to go to the office.'"

Alice and Bob are at a bar...

Alice and Bob are at a bar. Alice is menstruating.

Suddenly, Alice stands up and says to Bob, "I've got to go change my pad, be right back"

Bob asks, "Why don't you just wash it and keep using it?"

"I can't. It's a one-time pad."

So, I saw the movie Still Alice last night.

It's easily forgettable.


I told my doctor I was having issues during sex. He said Cialis.

Could someone tell me where I find Alice?

A Poem

I dug.

Alice dug.

Vincent dug.

Dad dug.

My sister dug.

I know its not a good poem, but it rhymes and its really deep.

(A friend just texted me this. I thought it was funny.)

What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture...

What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture on the Northern Lights to the people of Wonderland?

Aurora boring Alice.

You know what's great about Alice In Chains?

She can't get away.

I can relate to Alice in Wonderland.

She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems

A guy is lost in the mall and start shouting for his wife.

Alice! Alice!, suddenly he hears another voice shouting the same name Alice!! Alice!, he turns and looks at him and shouts HEY! is your wife named Alice too? No but I guess since shes banging a guy like you I got a shot. Alice!

Top Alice Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore alice polly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alice hannah dad jokes. There are also alice puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I said to my friend, My girlfriend keeps asking me if I'm an Alice in Wonderland character, and it's getting really annoying!

He said, Are you mad at her?

I said, Geez! Don't you start too!

I like rock bands named after their lead singers

Like Marilyn Manson, Alice Cooper, and Tool.

Freddy the fungus and Alice the algae met one another and...

they took a lichen to each other

How did Alice describe the data she collected in Wonderland?

Spuriouser and spuriouser

A biologist had twin daughters

Named the first one Alice, and the second Control.

No I'm sorry Alice...

This is Sunderland...

When Alice Cooper goes to the loo

Would it be a Cooper Pooper?

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.


Today I overheard a conversation between Bob and Alice.

Sadly I couldn't decipher what they were saying.

What did Alice Young say to Michael Young when they got married?

You keep me Young

C.C. DeVille and Bret Michaels just announced a new song about a yound drug addict who makes barrels

Alice Cooper by Poison

Why didn't Clark come to the class

Alice: Hey, why didn't Clark come to the evening class yesterday? It was our first class in this semester...

Bob: I don't think he's very fond of crypto nights.

They're making a x rated version of Alice in wonderland where Alice is played by a dominiatrix

It's called Alice in chains

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland? and it's getting really annoying

My Friend asked me Are you mad at her?

I relied with Don't you start too

What did Alice take to get to Wonderland?

Alice D

I think I might be a homosexual

A list of girls in the order I dated them:
Haley
Emily
Lacy
Patrice
Megan
Elise
Irene
Maggy
Genevieve
Alice
Yolanda

What does Alice Cooper say when he finishes a golf game?

Im at 18!

What is R. Kelly's favorite band?

Alice In Chains.

True story

My fathers name is Edward, Ed for short, and my mother's name is Alice. The joke was if you have a problem with Ed, see Alice.

A husband came home to his wife in tears.

I've been insulted, she sobbed. Your mother insulted me.

My mother! he exclaimed. But she lives in a different city.

I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.

He looked stern, I see, but where does the insult come in?

In the postscript, she answered.

It said: 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George'.

Alice took several wrong turns when driving to a new restaurant.

When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?"

"I thought you knew where you were going," he replied. "You always know where you're going when I'm driving."

Me: I got bitten in the park by a huge dog

Her: My God - imagine if it had been a small child

Me: I could have fought off a small child, Alice

Due to the recent cutbacks caused by the coronavirus Bruce was told he had to terminate one of his compliance managers.

Alice and Jack we're both exemplary employees and he honestly had no idea which one he would get rid of, but being an honest man he decided he'd speak to them both ahead of time thinking that it might help him make his decision. He called in Alice first and he said listen, I've either got to lay you or Jack off. Without batting an eye she responded "you better jack off, I have a terrible headache."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alice elizabeth jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working alice nathan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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