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Alice Jokes

47 alice jokes and hilarious alice puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alice that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Enjoy a laugh with a collection of Alice jokes, including Alice in Wonderland and Alice name puns. Discover jokes surrounding Alice Tinker, Alice in Chains, and Alice Springs. Plus, Alice Cooper puns and riddles. All the fun of Wonderland without having to go through the looking glass!

Funniest Alice Short Jokes

Short alice jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alice humour may include short cooper jokes also.

  1. I said to my friend, My girlfriend keeps asking me if I'm an alice in wonderland character, and it's getting really annoying! He said, Are you mad at her?
    I said, Geez! Don't you start too!
  2. Me: I got bitten in the park by a huge dog Her: My God - imagine if it had been a small child
    Me: I could have fought off a small child, Alice
  3. I like rock bands named after their lead singers Like Marilyn Manson, Alice Cooper, and Tool.
  4. What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture... What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture on the Northern Lights to the people of Wonderland?
    Aurora boring Alice.
  5. I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems
  6. I think I might be a homosexual A list of girls in the order I dated them:
    Haley
    Emily
    Lacy
    Patrice
    Megan
    Elise
    Irene
    Maggy
    Genevieve
    Alice
    Yolanda
  7. They're making a x rated version of Alice in wonderland where Alice is played by a dominiatrix It's called Alice in chains
  8. A Poem I dug.
    Alice dug.
    Vincent dug.
    Dad dug.
    My sister dug.
    I know its not a good poem, but it rhymes and its really deep.
    (A friend just texted me this. I thought it was funny.)
  9. True story My fathers name is Edward, Ed for short, and my mother's name is Alice. The joke was if you have a problem with Ed, see Alice.
  10. C.C. DeVille and Bret Michaels just announced a new song about a yound drug addict who makes barrels Alice Cooper by Poison

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Alice One Liners

Which alice one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alice? I can suggest the ones about john and sister.

  1. What is R. Kelly's favorite band? Alice In Chains.
  2. You know what's great about Alice In Chains? She can't get away.
  3. What did Alice Young say to Michael Young when they got married? You keep me Young
  4. What does Alice Cooper say when he finishes a golf game? Im at 18!
  5. A biologist had twin daughters Named the first one Alice, and the second Control.
  6. So, I saw the movie Still Alice last night. It's easily forgettable.
  7. What did Alice take to get to Wonderland? Alice D
  8. No I'm sorry Alice... This is Sunderland...
  9. How did Alice describe the data she collected in Wonderland? Spuriouser and spuriouser
  10. Alice: Can you play the piano? Bob: Dunno, never tried
  11. What date was the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland late for? The third one.
  12. What do the Lannisters and Alice in Chains have in common? They pay their debts on time.
  13. I set my alarm clock to play Alice in Chains I call it my morning "Would?"
  14. where did alice go during the e**...? everywhere
  15. When Alice Cooper goes to the loo Would it be a Cooper p**...?

Alice In Chains Jokes

Here is a list of funny alice in chains jokes and even better alice in chains puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Alice in Chains just announced a surprise performance in Istanbul Turkey, here come the rooster.
Alice joke, Alice in Chains just announced a surprise performance in Istanbul

Alice joke, Alice in Chains just announced a surprise performance in Istanbul

Amusing Alice Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about alice you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean amber jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alice pranks.

My Girlfriend has been repeatedly asking me Are you a character from Alice in Wonderland? and it's getting really annoying

My Friend asked me Are you mad at her?

I relied with Don't you start too

Due to the recent cutbacks caused by the coronavirus Bruce was told he had to terminate one of his compliance managers.

Alice and Jack we're both exemplary employees and he honestly had no idea which one he would get rid of, but being an honest man he decided he'd speak to them both ahead of time thinking that it might help him make his decision. He called in Alice first and he said listen, I've either got to lay you or j**.... Without batting an eye she responded "you better j**..., I have a terrible headache."

Technology has ruined our kids

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make? "
"It goes moo. "
"Alice, what noise does a cat make? "
"It goes meow. "
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "
"It goes baaa. "
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "
"Errr.., it goes.. click! "

Freddy the f**... and Alice the algae met one another and...

they took a lichen to each other

I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen

Alice took several wrong turns when driving to a new restaurant.

When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?"
"I thought you knew where you were going," he replied. "You always know where you're going when I'm driving."

In my outdoor nature class I pointed out some lichen growing on granite and taught them the mnemonic Freddie f**... took a likin' to Alice algae to teach them about the symbiotic relationship. One 5th grade boy responded

Looks like their relationship is on the rocks. He'll make a great dad some day.

I told my doctor I was having issues during s**.... He said Cialis.

Could someone tell me where I find Alice?

Shock Rocker Alice Cooper says he's taken up Tap Dancing during lockdown, with online group lessons every Wednesday

He says he's making slow progress, but doing better than Elton John, who - after six weeks - is still standing.

A boy goes up to his father and asks...

- Hey dad, can i date with the neighbour's daughter, Alice?
+No, because i am her dad, the father answers.
-Okay then i will date Olivia.
+Nope, she is also my daughter.
-Charlotte?
+She too.
-Then what about Emma???
+She too.
The boy goes crying to his mother and says, "I can't date any of the girls around because my dad said he is all of their father!"
The mother turns to the boy, smirks and says "No son, you can date any of those girls, because that man in the other room is not your real father."
*not my joke, found somewhere*

A husband came home to his wife in tears.

I've been insulted, she sobbed. Your mother insulted me.
My mother! he exclaimed. But she lives in a different city.
I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.
He looked stern, I see, but where does the insult come in?
In the postscript, she answered.
It said: 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George'.

A guy is lost in the mall and start shouting for his wife.

Alice! Alice!, suddenly he hears another voice shouting the same name Alice!! Alice!, he turns and looks at him and shouts HEY! is your wife named Alice too? No but I guess since shes b**... a guy like you I got a shot. Alice!

Why didn't Clark come to the class

Alice: Hey, why didn't Clark come to the evening class yesterday? It was our first class in this semester...
Bob: I don't think he's very fond of crypto nights.

Today I overheard a conversation between Bob and Alice.

Sadly I couldn't decipher what they were saying.

Alice joke, Today I overheard a conversation between Bob and Alice.

jokes about alice