Alexander Jokes

Following is our collection of oliver humor and vladimir one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Alexander puns for adults, dirty aleck jokes or clean supple gags for kids.

There is an abundance of ussr jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 31 funniest jokes on alexander. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any gregor witze you can hear about alexander.

The Best jokes about Alexander

After being elected President, Bernie Sanders confronted...

...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.

The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They both have the same middle name.

I broke up with my girlfriend by text last night, it went pretty ugly...

She got up from the couch, started beating me with her phone...

(credit to a Russian stand up comedian Alexander Sobolevsky, he does these neat one liners)

A rapist, a carpenter, and Alexander the Great walk into a bar

They came, they saw, they conquered

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite,
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.


Now that there is a musical about Alexander Hamilton, I'm going to make a Musical about the founding of the Webster's English Dictionary

It's going to be a play on words

Who was Alexander Graham Bellski?

The first telephone Pole

What do Smokey the Bear and Alexander the Great have in common?

Their middle name.

After the assassination of Tsar Alexander II of Russia, a government official in Ukraine menacingly addressed the local rabbi,

"I suppose you know in full detail who was behind it."

"Ach," the rabbi replied, "I have no idea, but the government's conclusion will be the same as always: they will blame the Jews and the chimneysweeps."
"Why the chimneysweeps?" asked the befuddled official.
"Why the Jews?" responded the rabbi.

Chuck Norris jokes

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Alexander Graham Bell is always given a huge amount of praise for inventing the first telephone

The credit should really go to whomever invented the SECOND telephone.


What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Same middle name.

Why did Alexander Graham Bell never receive a nobel prize?

Because it's a "no bell" prize.

We all remember Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone...

But no one ever remembers Alexander Graham Kowalczyk, the first telephone pole.

History class in Russia

During a history lesson, the teacher asks her students, OK class, who knows what event, consequential for the history and culture of the Russian people, took place in 1799?

From the back of the class, a student raises his hand and answers, Our greatest poet Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin was born.

The teacher replies, Very good Misha! Now can anyone tell me what other momentous event took place in 1812?

Misha again raises his hand and says, That's easy! Our greatest poet Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin turned 13.

Surely it can't be a coincidence that Kermit the Frog and Alexander the Great share the same middle name...

Hmmmm

I was talking to my friend about nicknames...

Like how Maddie is short for Madeline or Alex for Alexander

- But wait, how do you get 'Dick' from 'Richard?'

You ask nicely

Julius Caeser and Alexander the Great are in a bathroom together

They are both going pee in two urinals right next to each other. Alexander the Great leans over the divider looks at Caeser and says "My empire is bigger than yours"

What do you call a party featuring John Adams, Alexander Hamilton and co as guests?

A feds era list party.


TIL that immediately after Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he learned that

he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

A brief history of Ancient Greek culture

Greece before Alexander the Great: Kinda nistic.

Greece after Alexander the Great: Hella nistic.

Why did Alexander Hamilton get busted for possession?

'Cause he's not throwing away his pot.

You know Alexander Hamilton was a great man.

A real 10/10.

TIL people STILL tell Chuck Norris Jokes!

And that when Alexander Bell first invented the phone, he found 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

What would have happened if Alexander Fleming met Euler?

They would have discovered Penicil(e^(x))

Did you hear that Alexander Graham Bell got fired from the theatre?

He was always phoning it in.

Why did some film critics hate the movie about Alexander Fleming, the inventor of Penicillin?

They were anti-biopics.

Alexander Hamilton was freezing at death...

You could say that he died with a Burr

How did Alexander Hamilton die?

He got Aaron Burnt

Was Alexander Hamilton Cold or Hot when he died?

He was cold. Because Burrr.

Alexander Graham Kowolczyk...

The inventor of the telephone pole.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes