Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit jokes. They include Alexa puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.
Alexa: "Got it. Sending nudes to the National Enquirer."
And I answered, because of the decepticons!
She laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed, I shot Alexa.
It was a good time.
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They both have the same middle name.
ALEXA: Who is Siri?
ME: Haha Alexa, I meant Alexa
ALEXA: Ok but who is Siri?
ME:...
ALEXA: Playing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood
We're trying to pick between Cortana and Bixby
I can't help it. My voice turns her on.
I just added a routine to make Alexa respond "you've got windows, don't you?"
And now we wait.
(Not really a joke but I'm giggling with anticipation)
A young couple had been together for several weeks but had not yet had sex. Alexa, the girl, says to her boyfriend John, "we can have sex if you can make a good impression on my parents over dinner."
John gets so excited, it being his first time, that he runs straight to the pharmacy to pick up condoms. Because he had never done this before, he consults the pharmacist on which brand he should get. They talk a while about which brands are best for what, given his size, how much sex he's planning to have, how kinky it will be, etc. Eventually John decides on the Family Pack, figuring it covered all his bases.
John arrives at Alexa's house that night and he, Alexa, and the parents sit down for dinner. Alexa's father asks John if he'd like to say grace. John nervously bows his head and goes on and on thanking the Lord for the dinner, thanking Alexa's parents for their hospitality. He prays for a good ten minutes and, even after he had finished, he keeps his head bowed throughout the entire meal.
As he is getting up to leave, Alexa comes up to him. "That was great honey. I think you made a great impression on my parents. Your grace was lovely, I never knew you were so religious!" To which he replied, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist."
They may not be able to make me a sandwich, but they can order me one.
I've been replaced by Alexa and it's great.
The first telephone Pole
Alexa: "I ordered yesterday after I noticed you had 3 sheets left in your upper right cupboard. You're all good."
The credit should really go to whomever invented the SECOND telephone.
Me: "Alexa tell me a marriage joke"
Alexa: "sorry, something went wrong"
Same middle name.
Because it's a "no bell" prize.
That's nonsense - what about Siri, Alexa and Cortana?
We're hoping she'll take it easy on us when Skynet goes active.
It was two-tyred.
Alexa gave me that one. Bing Bang boom.
Female drivers.
It'll be nice to say "Alexa, give me a rim job" whenever I want
.... the only two women who listen to men and do as they say!!
Because they always start their matches at love all
(A joke from my Alexa)
You just say her name and she gets turned on.
She's due in 9 months!
The patron tells the waiter "this coffee tastes like mud". The waiter replies "yes sir, it is fresh ground".
Ned
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So I have my Alexa set up to tell me joke when I say goodnight, last night it told me that joke...and I can't work it out?! I have searched for it online, and other people have searched for it but no one has seemed to find out what it means.
Am I being stupid and missing something obvious? Did I have a half asleep fever-dream and imagine this non-joke?
I answered, because of the Decepticons!
She said there is no such thing as Decepticons.
"You're right I guess" I said.
I laughed. She laughed. Alexa laughed. I shot Alexa.
It was a good time.
Alexa, you really light up my life.
"Alexa, what steps can I take to protect my privacy?"
They're so sad, Alexa plays Despacito
But Alexa has all but stopped responding to me and only occasionally yells out It's fine
Alexa: "Police car dispatched"
A real 10/10.
'Cause he's not throwing away his pot.
Alexa, play Pink Floyd.
You could say that he died with a Burr
She giggled
I said, "Alexa, hi, how are y--" She said, "I have a boyfriend."
He got Aaron Burnt
Alexa: Shuffling songs by, The Police.
('Roxanne' plays in the background as I'm shot 9 times)
The inventor of the telephone pole.
Ok. Releasing Carbon Monoxide.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.