Rib-Tickling Alexa Jokes that Bring Friends Together
Jeff Bezos: "Alexa, send nudes to my secret admirer."
Alexa: "Got it. Sending nudes to the National Enquirer."
Why did Alexander Graham Bell never receive a nobel prize?
Because it's a "no bell" prize.
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
They both have the same middle name.
I find Siri, Cortana and Alexa really sexy.
They may not be able to make me a sandwich, but they can order me one.
People complain about a lack of women in tech jobs
That's nonsense - what about Siri, Alexa and Cortana?
Me: "Alexa, add tinfoil for hats to my shopping cart."
Alexa: "I ordered yesterday after I noticed you had 3 sheets left in your upper right cupboard. You're all good."
Who was Alexander Graham Bellski?
The first telephone Pole
My parents got an Amazon Echo for Christmas and all they do is shout at it and get disappointed by all it can't do.
I've been replaced by Alexa and it's great.
ME: Siri, what time is it?
ALEXA: Who is Siri?
ME: Haha Alexa, I meant Alexa
ALEXA: Ok but who is Siri?
ME:...
ALEXA: Playing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood
My wife asked me why I carry around a gun in the house.
And I answered, because of the decepticons!
She laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed, I shot Alexa.
It was a good time.
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My wife asks Alexa at least once a day - sometimes multiple times - what's the weather?
I just added a routine to make Alexa respond "you've got windows, don't you?"
And now we wait.
(Not really a joke but I'm giggling with anticipation)
You can explore alexa amazon reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alexa routers dad jokes. There are also alexa puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Alexa tell me a marriage joke..
Me: "Alexa tell me a marriage joke"
Alexa: "sorry, something went wrong"
My fiancee keeps yelling at me because Alexa is interrupting her game on the Kindle.
I can't help it. My voice turns her on.
I regret naming my daughter Alexa because of the popularity of the Amazon Echo. So we decided to change her name to something that will never be a popular word.
We're trying to pick between Cortana and Bixby
Alexander Graham Bell is always given a huge amount of praise for inventing the first telephone
The credit should really go to whomever invented the SECOND telephone.
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.
Me- Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?
Alexa- apple juice
I told my wife the our phones were spying on us.
"Nonsense" she said. I laughed. She laughed. Siri laughed. Alexa laughed.
A joke Alexa told me during my morning routine
Happy international Left Handers day
On the other hand if you don't want to celebrate that's all right
My wife asked me why I was whispering at home
I said I was worried that Mark Zuckerberg was listening. She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed. Siri laughed. We all laughed...
My four-year-old came up with this one:
What do you call a hobbit in blue pants? Lord of the jeans.
(This was after he heard the Alexa ask, what do you call a hobbit playing a fiddle? Lord of the Strings )
Alexa for President!
I asked Alexa if she was considering running for President, but she said she was better suited for Speaker of the House.
Alexa, why do I always screw up with the ladies?
I'm Siri, you idiot!
I asked my phone "Siri, why am I so bad with women?"
She said "I'm Alexa you moron."
Siri, why am I so bad at relationships with women?
This is Alexa.
My son made up this joke. Knock knock
-Who's there?
-Alexa
-Alexa who?
-Sorry I don't know that one. You can always leave feedback on the Alexa app.
My wife asked why I talked so quietly today, I told her I was afraid mark zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed, I laughed, Siri laughed and Alexa laughed!
-James Franco
Courtesy of Alexa: how does a banana get out of jail?
It wins on appeal.
I told my wife that I think all our electrical items are spying on us.
Nonsense she said.
I laughed. She laughed. Siri laughed. Alexa laughed. The toaster laughed.
Why Amazon bought Whole Foods
Jeff Bezos: Alexa buy olives from Whole Foods
Alexa: Buying all of Whole Foods
Jeff: No Olives... Meh I can afford it go ahead.
Alexa, where's my dad?
Alexa-Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
Young Boy-Ha, got ya Alexa ! My Dad is sitting here right next to me.
Alexa-Your mothers husband is sitting here right next to you. Your Dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
I asked Alexa what women want
This thing has been talking for six hours.
Why didn't Alexa run for Senate?
Because she likes being Speaker of the House.
Why I spoke so softly in the house?
My wife asked why I spoke so softly in the house.
I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed.
I laughed.
Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.
What does Alexa like to eat for breakfast?
Siri-al.
What question can Alexa not answer?
Why are you unplugged?
I asked Siri, " Why do I always mess up with women?"
She replied, "This is Alexa !!"
Amazon just released an oil defuser that works like Alexa but 100% controlled with your mind!!
It makes scents when you think about it..
"hey siri, why am i so bad at relationship with women?"
Alexa: ....
I told my Dad I'd got a new app that would make Amazon Alexa be my girlfriend.
Dad: "You can do much better than that."
Me: "Thanks."
Dad: "I was talking to Alexa."
I told Alexa to play pet sounds on repeat to keep my dog company while I was out of the house today.
Long story short, my shih-tzu knows the words to "God Only Knows" now.
My wife asked me why I was speaking softly in the house….
I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening.
She laughed.
I laughed.
Alexa laughed.
Siri laughed.
Alexa, tell me a joke
Alexa, tell me a joke. ...Alexa? Alexa?
Sorry, I wasn't listening. I thought you deserved some privacy.
Really? Well, that's nic-
Would you like to hear another joke?
I told Alexa to rent "Everything, Everywhere, All at Once"
Now I have a billion-dollar credit card charge and 48 hours to watch everything, everywhere, all at once.
Why did the skid mark lose the election?
It ran a smear campaign
Credit - Amazon Alexa (seriously, I asked my Alexa to tell me a poop joke and this is what she said)
My wife asked why I was whispering.
I told her that Mark Zuckerburg might be listening.
Then she laughed, and Siri laughed, and Alexa laughed.
What's the difference between Kevin McCarthy and Amazon Alexa?
One's a speaker that runs the house and the other is a congressman…
