Alexa Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit jokes. They include Alexa puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Alexa

Jeff Bezos: "Alexa, send nudes to my secret admirer."

Alexa: "Got it. Sending nudes to the National Enquirer."

My wife asked me why I carry around a gun in the house.

And I answered, because of the decepticons!

She laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed, I shot Alexa.

It was a good time.


What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They both have the same middle name.

ME: Siri, what time is it?

ALEXA: Who is Siri?

ME: Haha Alexa, I meant Alexa

ALEXA: Ok but who is Siri?


ALEXA: Playing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood

I regret naming my daughter Alexa because of the popularity of the Amazon Echo. So we decided to change her name to something that will never be a popular word.

We're trying to pick between Cortana and Bixby

My fiancee keeps yelling at me because Alexa is interrupting her game on the Kindle.

I can't help it. My voice turns her on.

My wife asks Alexa at least once a day - sometimes multiple times - what's the weather?

I just added a routine to make Alexa respond "you've got windows, don't you?"

And now we wait.

(Not really a joke but I'm giggling with anticipation)

A young couple had been dating for a while but hadn't yet done the deed...

A young couple had been together for several weeks but had not yet had sex. Alexa, the girl, says to her boyfriend John, "we can have sex if you can make a good impression on my parents over dinner."

John gets so excited, it being his first time, that he runs straight to the pharmacy to pick up condoms. Because he had never done this before, he consults the pharmacist on which brand he should get. They talk a while about which brands are best for what, given his size, how much sex he's planning to have, how kinky it will be, etc. Eventually John decides on the Family Pack, figuring it covered all his bases.

John arrives at Alexa's house that night and he, Alexa, and the parents sit down for dinner. Alexa's father asks John if he'd like to say grace. John nervously bows his head and goes on and on thanking the Lord for the dinner, thanking Alexa's parents for their hospitality. He prays for a good ten minutes and, even after he had finished, he keeps his head bowed throughout the entire meal.

As he is getting up to leave, Alexa comes up to him. "That was great honey. I think you made a great impression on my parents. Your grace was lovely, I never knew you were so religious!" To which he replied, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist."

I find Siri, Cortana and Alexa really sexy.

They may not be able to make me a sandwich, but they can order me one.

My parents got an Amazon Echo for Christmas and all they do is shout at it and get disappointed by all it can't do.

I've been replaced by Alexa and it's great.

Who was Alexander Graham Bellski?

The first telephone Pole

Me: "Alexa, add tinfoil for hats to my shopping cart."

Alexa: "I ordered yesterday after I noticed you had 3 sheets left in your upper right cupboard. You're all good."

Alexander Graham Bell is always given a huge amount of praise for inventing the first telephone

The credit should really go to whomever invented the SECOND telephone.

Alexa tell me a marriage joke..

Me: "Alexa tell me a marriage joke"

Alexa: "sorry, something went wrong"

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Same middle name.

Why did Alexander Graham Bell never receive a nobel prize?

Because it's a "no bell" prize.

People complain about a lack of women in tech jobs

That's nonsense - what about Siri, Alexa and Cortana?

In this house we say 'please' and 'thank you' to Alexa.

We're hoping she'll take it easy on us when Skynet goes active.

Why did the bicycle fall over?

It was two-tyred.

Alexa gave me that one. Bing Bang boom.

Why is Alexa always crashing?

Female drivers.

I can't wait to hook my new bidet up to my Echo on wifi

It'll be nice to say "Alexa, give me a rim job" whenever I want

Wishing a happy women's day to Siri and Alexa

.... the only two women who listen to men and do as they say!!

Why are tennis players always hugging?

Because they always start their matches at love all

(A joke from my Alexa)

Alexa is so easy

You just say her name and she gets turned on.

I can't wait to get my new Alexa. She's going to do everything for me!

She's due in 9 months!

Alexa, tell me a dirty joke

The patron tells the waiter "this coffee tastes like mud". The waiter replies "yes sir, it is fresh ground".

What's a sharks least favourite name?


So I have my Alexa set up to tell me joke when I say goodnight, last night it told me that joke...and I can't work it out?! I have searched for it online, and other people have searched for it but no one has seemed to find out what it means.

Am I being stupid and missing something obvious? Did I have a half asleep fever-dream and imagine this non-joke?

My wife asked my why I carry a gun around the house.

I answered, because of the Decepticons!

She said there is no such thing as Decepticons.

"You're right I guess" I said.

I laughed. She laughed. Alexa laughed. I shot Alexa.

It was a good time.

Happy Valentine's to my one true love

Alexa, you really light up my life.

Amazon Alexa is sexist.

I'm really worried about my privacy being compromised and my personal data being shared by third parties.

"Alexa, what steps can I take to protect my privacy?"

Have you ever been to a funeral for a dead meme?

They're so sad, Alexa plays Despacito

I'm not saying I'm bad at relationships...

But Alexa has all but stopped responding to me and only occasionally yells out It's fine

Dude: "Hey Alexa, set a daily alarm for 420pm"

Alexa: "Police car dispatched"

You know Alexander Hamilton was a great man.

A real 10/10.

Why did Alexander Hamilton get busted for possession?

'Cause he's not throwing away his pot.

I want to get high, but I don't have any drugs. Oh, I know!

Alexa, play Pink Floyd.

Alexander Hamilton was freezing at death...

You could say that he died with a Burr

I asked Alexa if she worked for the CIA.

She giggled

My friend just got an Amazon Echo.

I said, "Alexa, hi, how are y--" She said, "I have a boyfriend."

How did Alexander Hamilton die?

He got Aaron Burnt

Burglar breaks into my house: Give me your values and you won't get hurt! Me: Yea right buddy- Alexa, call the police!

Alexa: Shuffling songs by, The Police.

('Roxanne' plays in the background as I'm shot 9 times)

Alexander Graham Kowolczyk...

The inventor of the telephone pole.

Alexa make me feel good.

Ok. Releasing Carbon Monoxide.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes