Alerting Jokes

These are 110 alerting jokes and hilarious alerting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alerting that are good jokes for kids and friends.

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Best Short Alerting Jokes

These are our top alerting puns. Have fun with a good alerting joke in English with simple alerting humour.

  1. What's big, black and loaded with aids? A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.
  2. My daughter always said she wanted to see her name up in lights... You should've seen the smile on her face when she turned to look at me and say:
    "Daddy, what's an 'Amber Alert'?"
  3. Dad joke alert: So when does a bad joke become a Dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent.
  4. I'm getting really sick of these Amber Alerts... They either wake you up at three in the morning or broadcast your license plate to the whole world.
  5. SPOILER ALERT: I just had a piece of metal fitted to the back of my car to reduce drag and increase fuel efficiency.
  6. My blonde girlfriend broke up with me today. She was upset at me getting a text from Amber Alert
  7. Before you go around posting He has risen Remember to add spoiler alert.
    Some of us haven't read the book yet.
  8. AN egg walks into a bar...... An egg walks into a bar, along with pancake, and bacon. The bartender looks up and alertly says.
    "Sorry guys, we don't serve breakfast"
  9. I pushed a random old guy's Life Alert to see what would happen. He got so angry, he had a heart attack.
    Good thing the ambulance was already on it's way.
  10. My great-grandfather knew that Titanic would sink and tried to alert people 3 times The third time, he was expelled from the movie theater.

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these alerting jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of alerting puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Alerting One Liners

Which alerting dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alerting?

  1. Don't you hate it when you get an Amber Alert and you have to switch cars?
  2. I once set an alarm to tell me when my milk would expire Spoiler alert
  3. I have a fridge that beeps when it detects mold Spoiler alert
  4. What dating app do Catholic Priests use? Amber Alerts.
  5. They should play "Let the bodies hit the floor" On Life Alert commercials.
  6. What's the hardest part about having a child? The Amber alerts.
  7. I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet So if I get a life, I'll be notified immediately.
  8. What did the starship captain say when he peed his pants? Yellow alert, number one.
  9. One person's trigger warning... ...is another person's spoiler alert.
  10. I went to an Aftermarket Car Show. Spoiler Alert!
  11. Spoiler alert I left the milk on the counter all weekend
  12. Spoiler alert! The milk has been in the fridge for three weeks.
  13. I just got an AMBER alert that won't open... It says: error 404 child not found
  14. Why did Satan need life alert? Because he had fallen, and could not get back up.
  15. Spoiler alert! Remember to check your milk for freshness.

Related Topics for more fun

Alerting Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about alerting to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make alerting prank.

A couple drives to the hospital because the wife is in labor. The doctor alerts them that she invented a machine that will transfer some of the labor pain to the father, if they'd like. The husband eagerly says, "Give it all to me!" The couple returns home with a bouncing baby boy, only to find the mailman dead on their lawn.

I have the Emergency Alert Warning sound set as the ringtone for when my wife calls.

Comment found on an FB
pic of a new born baby

"Hey kid, Spoiler Alert: Life s**...."

Be alert

The world needs more lerts.

Army commando recruitment - from India

A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army.
Interviewer: "We want a person with a suspicious mind; always alert, merciless; ready to attack; high sense of hearing & most importantly; having a killer instinct. So Do you think you are eligible?"
Man: "No Sir; but can my Wife apply?"

Bad pun alert.

I've been watching behind the scenes reels of movies for quite a few years so the magic of movies is somewhat lost on me. I'll know how that car flip was achieved, how they choreographed fight scenes etc.
Still, watching Gravity this weekend I couldn't help but think, "how on Earth did they do that?"

Did you hear the one about the amber alert?

Neither did the children in my basement.

Two Frenchmen attempt to escape a POW camp...

The pair break out of their cells and manage to reach the wire fence in the dead of night. As Pierre scales the fence he stumbles, alerting a nearby guard, who calls out "Who's there?!"
"Meow!" Pierre shouts back, and he manages to creep away.
Now Francois climbs the fence and he stumbles and the guard again called, 'Who goes there?'
"Another cat!"

Spoiler alert!

The milk's got 1 day left

My girlfriend said she liked the jewelry my grandmother wore

so I bought her a life alert necklace

Hey s**... granny, you better call life alert

Because I've fallen for you and can't get up

There would be no evil in the word.....

if Satan had life alert.

How many feminists does it take to make a sandwich?

12
One to make the sandwich,
One to excoriate men for creating hunger,
One to blame men for inventing such a laborious recipe,
One to suggest the whole "putting meat in between two non-consenting flaps of bread" bit to be too "r**...-like",
One to deconstruct the Bologna sausage itself as being p**...,
One to blame men for not making the sandwich,
One to blame men for trying to make the sandwich instead of letting a woman do it,
One to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from eating,
One to blame men for creating a society where women make too many sandwiches,
One to advocate that sandwich makers should have wage parity with Michelin star chefs,
One to alert the media that women are now "out-sandwiching" men,
And one to take pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.

What body movements alert you that a politician is lying?

His lips are moving.

What happened when Honey Boo Boo's mom lost 120 pounds?

An amber alert was issued

Spoiler alert: the new Bourne movie has...

Tommy Lee Jones chasing a fugitive.

The Presidents security detail recently underwent months of grueling training.

They no longer go to high alert when he reaches for his wallet.

Please don't tell me about your methods of increasing drag on your car

It would be a spoiler alert

First baby born with DNA from 3 people

This week the world's first baby was born with DNA from three different people using a new controversial technique developed by US scientists. The baby will be featured in the upcoming episode of Maury and spoiler alert, they're both the father.

ALERT: do not eat at California Pizza Kitchen

Their crust is faulty

The only girl who ever texts me...

Is Amber Alert.

Trump's first scandal.

Trump has had his first scandal. According to CNN, Donald Trump has gone to a private dinner with his family without alerting the press core. They've called this 'A dangerous breach of protocol and lack of transparency'.
I guess they're worried that he may have given some classified information to his private server.

[Old joke alert] Why are dwarfs so depressed?

Because six out of seven dwarfs aren't happy.

Wanna hear the ending to the movie about controlling the aerodynamics of cars?

Spoiler alert

Why did the horse get life alert?

Because "i've fallen and can't giddy-up"

Don't go around telling people what Teresa Ripoll is an anagram of before they've solved it.

Spoiler alert

We've gotten three Amber alerts in the last week alone

That poor girl just can't catch a break.

[Cringe Alert] Why are Trees never invited to a formal dinner ?

They only wear Trunks.

Emergency broadcast alert.

Just happened this morning while taking my wife to work. The emergency broadcast alert came over the radio.
Wife: It's probably just a test.
Me: Unless Trump pressed the big red button.
Our 9 year old: Oh come on now Trump is new to the White House, he doesn't know how everything works yet.
Such innocence and wisdom in one statement.

What is a must have fall accessory

Life Alert

Alert

I told my wife that she was alert and she replied "That's good because America needs more lerts".

Last month I unknowingly purchased stolen roofing supplies. I wrote a Craigslist post to alert others...

HOT SHINGLES IN YOUR AREA

I finished reading The Dictionary the other day...

Spoiler alert, the zebra did it

My friend said the s**... predator app he downloaded wasn't working.

Ever since he opened the app it wouldn't stop giving him predator alerts.

A man is watching the news.

All of a sudden, he sees an alert saying that there is a car driving the completely wrong way on I-84. Shocked by this, he goes to call his mom, who was planning to come go his house later that night, via I-84.
"Mom, be very careful out there, there is a car driving backwards on I-84."
She responds, "I know! There's hundreds of them!"

Alert! Widespread, paralyzing, life-consuming, pandemic virus!!

Norton.

If you're going to play a 311 song...

... make sure you issue an Amber Alert.

Dad joke alert: why didn't the crab and lobster get along?

They were too shellfish.

Heard at Mass today that the government is providing scholarships to students who'd like to attend religious institutions...

Someone Alert the Masses!

The Chili's theme song from the late nineties would make a far better anthem for the 'Amber Alert'.

*sings* I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...

[Spoiler Alert] What's inside Hilary's new book, "What Happened".

I lost.

Europeans use too many gyros for the s**... of animals. Let's alert PITA.

That was a terrible pun. I falafel.

Text my friend just sent

"Be on alert for a possible hostile in your area by the name of Hu Mongous."

Spoiler alert

Jesus dies in the Bible

Whats the easiest way to charge someone 3 grand?

Press their Life Alert button

I got an emergency alert about an incoming missile on my phone today.

When I got it I went intercontinentally ballistic.

Kim Jong Un: I have a big button on my desk Donald Trump: I have a big button on my desk

Hawaii Emergency Alert Guy: Hold my beer

Spoiler Alert!!

The cheese that I bought has been sitting out for days.

*SPOILER ALERT* Today I killed a spider in front of a bug lover.

He got mad at me for giving him Infinity War's spoilers.

Alert!

We have updated our privacy policy.

A man is riding through the highway listening to the radio...

Suddenly the radio starts booming: Traffic alert. There is a car driving on the wrong side of the road in Route 54. Please avoid entering the highway until further notice.
The man, confused at this alert thinks to himself One car? There are hundreds of them!

You want to know what decreases drag on a car? *SPOILER ALERT*

I told you, it's a spoiler.

I'm watching Finding Bigfoot

Spoiler alert: They didn't find him.

What is the procedure when a sheep gets abducted?

The police send out a LAMBer alert

West London police wish to alert local residents about the activities of the infamous cross-eyed burglar.

If you see this man staring in your windows,
warn the people next door.

A man was being interviewed for a job in CIA

Interviewer: We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly having a killer Instinct. So, do you think you are eligible?
Man: Sir... Can my wife apply?

FEMA/Presidential Alert Text.

Did yours say "NO COLLUSION" ?

PRESIDENTIAL ALERT:

If you don't reply to this message and share it with 10 friends your mom will die in her sleep tonight!

Just got a Presidential Emergency Alert on my phone and I immediately thought...

My God what did he do now?!

Presidential Alert

THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed.

They say all American cell phones got that presidential alert today...

But I didn't get one... so I guess Trump really isn't my president.

What do you call a 911 call from a stripper?

...an Amber Alert

A psychic dwarf escapes a prison...

The Alerts tell the town to keep on the look out for a small medium at large.

Sneak up. Shout at the virus.

Then Run

UK declared coronavirus-free

after scientists discover all we had to do was stay alert.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these alerting jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.

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