Alert Jokes

Funniest Alert Short Jokes

Short alert jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alert humour may include short alarm jokes also.

1. What's big, black and loaded with aids? A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.
2. My daughter always said she wanted to see her name up in lights... You should've seen the smile on her face when she turned to look at me and say:
   "Daddy, what's an 'Amber Alert'?"
3. Dad joke alert: So when does a bad joke become a Dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent.
4. I'm getting really sick of these Amber Alerts... They either wake you up at three in the morning or broadcast your license plate to the whole world.
5. SPOILER ALERT: I just had a piece of metal fitted to the back of my car to reduce drag and increase fuel efficiency.
6. My blonde girlfriend broke up with me today. She was upset at me getting a text from Amber Alert
7. Before you go around posting He has risen Remember to add spoiler alert.
   Some of us haven't read the book yet.
8. I pushed a random old guy's Life Alert to see what would happen. He got so angry, he had a heart attack.
   Good thing the ambulance was already on it's way.
9. [Old joke alert] Why are dwarfs so depressed? Because six out of seven dwarfs aren't happy.
10. Kim Jong Un: I have a big button on my desk Donald Trump: I have a big button on my desk Hawaii Emergency Alert Guy: Hold my beer

Share These Alert Jokes With Friends

Alert One Liners

Which alert one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alert? I can suggest the ones about aware and attention.

1. Don't you hate it when you get an Amber Alert and you have to switch cars?
2. I once set an alarm to tell me when my milk would expire Spoiler alert
3. I have a fridge that beeps when it detects mold Spoiler alert
4. What dating app do Catholic Priests use? Amber Alerts.
5. They should play "Let the bodies hit the floor" On Life Alert commercials.
6. What's the hardest part about having a child? The Amber alerts.
7. I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet So if I get a life, I'll be notified immediately.
8. What did the starship captain say when he peed his pants? Yellow alert, number one.
9. One person's trigger warning... ...is another person's spoiler alert.
10. My computer keeps alerting me it's too cold It says I have too many windows open
11. I went to an Aftermarket Car Show. Spoiler Alert!
12. Spoiler alert I left the milk on the counter all weekend
13. Spoiler alert! The milk has been in the fridge for three weeks.
14. I just got an AMBER alert that won't open... It says: error 404 child not found
15. Why did Satan need life alert? Because he had fallen, and could not get back up.

Spoiler Alert Jokes

Here is a list of funny spoiler alert jokes and even better spoiler alert puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Whoever coined the term Expiration Date made a huge mistake. It should have been called Spoiler Alert.
• Spoiler alert! Remember to check your milk for freshness.
• Spoiler alert Jesus dies in the Bible
• Don't go around telling people what Teresa Ripoll is an anagram of before they've solved it. Spoiler alert
• I finished reading The Dictionary the other day... Spoiler alert, the zebra did it
• Spoiler alert! The milk's got 1 day left
• Spoiler Alert!! The cheese that I bought has been sitting out for days.
• You want to know what decreases drag on a car? *SPOILER ALERT* I told you, it's a spoiler.
• [Spoiler Alert] What's inside Hilary's new book, "What Happened". I lost.
• Wanna hear the ending to the movie about controlling the aerodynamics of cars? Spoiler alert

Amber Alert Jokes

Here is a list of funny amber alert jokes and even better amber alert puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The only girl who ever texts me... Is Amber Alert.
• Amber alert has a new meaning now thanks to Amber Heard It's what the city sends to men when Amber is seen at a bar.
• If you're going to play a 311 song... ... make sure you issue an Amber Alert.
• The Chili's theme song from the late nineties would make a far better anthem for the 'Amber Alert'. *sings* I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...
• Did you hear the one about the amber alert? Neither did the children in my basement.
• We've gotten three Amber alerts in the last week alone That poor girl just can't catch a break.
• What happened when Honey Boo Boo's mom lost 120 pounds? An amber alert was issued
• What do you call a 911 call from a stripper? ...an Amber Alert
• I hate amber alerts Like, what do you want me to do, give the kid back?

Life Alert Jokes

Here is a list of funny life alert jokes and even better life alert puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why did the horse get life alert? Because "i've fallen and can't giddy-up"
• Whats the easiest way to charge someone 3 grand? Press their Life Alert button
• What is a must have fall accessory Life Alert
• There would be no evil in the word..... if Satan had life alert.
• My girlfriend said she liked the jewelry my grandmother wore so I bought her a life alert necklace
• Alert! Widespread, paralyzing, life-consuming, pandemic virus!! Norton.
• Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better.
• I need a life alert... Because I've fallen for you and I can't get it up!
• Shakespeare's The Life and Death of King Richard III Spoiler Alert:
  Richard III dies in the end.

Emergency Alert Jokes

Here is a list of funny emergency alert jokes and even better emergency alert puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I got an emergency alert about an incoming missile on my phone today. When I got it I went intercontinentally ballistic.
• Almost every phone in the US got an emergency presidential alert today.... Unfortunately it was two years too late
• Presidential Alert THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed.
• Just got a Presidential Emergency Alert on my phone and I immediately thought... My God what did he do now?!
• I have the Emergency Alert Warning sound set as the ringtone for when my wife calls.

Charming Humor Alert Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about alert you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blink jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alert pranks.