The Best 46 Alcoholism Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Alcoholism jokes. There are some alcoholism dependency jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these alcoholism sober puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Alcoholism Jokes and Puns

A horse walks into a bar...

...and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
And the horse replies, "I'm finally starting to realize that my alcoholism is tearing my family apart,"

In an interview yesterday, Texas Governor Rick Perry stood by his recent comments in which he compared homosexuality to alcoholism.

Perry further explained the similarities between the two by saying, They are both things I experimented with while in college and both resulted in my liver taking a pounding.

Alcoholism doesn't run in my family.

It walks.

You spill less beer that way.

Alcoholism joke, Alcoholism doesn't run in my family.

What's a drinking game you can play by yourself?

Alcoholism

Not in a hurry

- Alcoholism Is A Slow Death!
- And we are not in a hurry!


Once I've read about the perils of alcoholism I've decided to stop...

...reading.

I've been working really hard on controlling my alcoholism

I can't remember the last time I blacked out.

Alcoholism joke, I've been working really hard on controlling my alcoholism

A horse walks into a bar...

The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "My alcoholism is destroying my family."

I started playing a new drinking game recently, Every time I am depressed I take a drink.

That game is called alcoholism.

A man walks into a bar...

And slowly alcoholism tears apart his family

They say alcohol cures everything, but that's a lie...

It still hasn't cured my alcoholism.

You can explore alcoholism lyme reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alcoholism bulimia dad jokes. There are also alcoholism puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I'm finally going to do something about my alcoholism

I'm going to pour out all the booze in my house. One shot at a time.

I drink to forget...

my alcoholism.

You say alcoholism...

I say liver cross fit!

Alcoholism joke?

If a person who is addicted to alcohol is an alcoholic, the a person who is addicted to cats is a catholic?

I'm glad I've never had to struggle with depression or alcoholism.

I guess I'm just a natural.

Alcoholism joke, I'm glad I've never had to struggle with depression or alcoholism.

What's the difference between alcoholism and a lobotomy?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Some people worry drinking in the shower is a sign of alcoholism

I just worry about keeping the water out of my beer

What does a pregnancy and alcoholism have in common?

They can both be ended with a twelve step program


What's it called when you mix champagne with orange juice at breakfast?

Alcoholism

Alcoholism is the only disease you get yelled at for having

Dammit Otto, you're an alcoholic

Dammit Otto, you have lupus

One of those doesn't sound right

RIP Mitch Hedberg

Breast cancer awareness has pink ribbons, but what does alcoholism awareness have?

Bruises.

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

"Because alcoholism has destroyed my life and my family. Let me get your rail whiskey."

What's the difference between squirrels and alcoholism?

Squirrels aren't tearing my family apart.

As a law school drop out, I struggle with alcoholism...

I just can't pass a bar

My son said that he's proud of me overcoming alcoholism.

I'll drink to that.

So I'm no longer suffering from alcoholism...

..that drink really hit the spot.

Alcoholism

A son walks up to his dad to ask him about alcoholism.

Son: "dad, what is an alcoholic?"
Father: "do you see those four trees over there? Well, an alcoholic would see eight."
Son: "but dad, I only see two!"

My taste in women is much like my taste in wine

Right now i like them younger, sweeter, and prettier. As i age, i start to like them older, more bitter, and contributing to my alcoholism.

Hey, is that a keg in your pants?

because my alcoholism is tearing me apart.

How did Mike Tyson open the door to alcoholism?

Withkey.

What's the cure for marriage?

Alcoholism

My grandfather doesn't go to malls anymore out of fear of terrorist attacks

He was more convincing when he blamed his alcoholism on not getting me a Christmas present

Doctor says alcoholism is a disease...

Bartender says get your shots here

Where did Jesus hide his alcoholism?

In his water bottle

Alcoholism causes memory loss, liver diesase,

And memory loss.

I don't get emotional. I handle my problems like an adult...

With crippling alcoholism

I worry that my wife is enabling my alcoholism...

But on the other hand, she gives me a Riesling to get up in the morning.

A scientist runs into an AA meeting...

...and exclaims "we did it! We found a medical cure for alcoholism! All you have to do is take this one pill daily and you are cured."

Slowly a hand raises in the back and a man says "what happens if you take two?"

I thought I might be an alcoholic, so I did some research. It turns out the first sign of alcoholism is denial...

So I guess I'm not an alcoholic.

Alcoholism is a myth

I've been drinking steady every day since I was 16 , and I haven't become an alcoholic yet

Whats the only disease where you can constantly drink booze?

Alcoholism.

I can't refuse a free drink

My friend goes to get a beer from his fridge and asks me if I'd like one

Me - "sure! I can't refuse a free drink, it's against my religion"
Friend - "what religion is that?"
Me - "Alcoholism"

I never knew my grandfather but I just learned he had a purple heart.

It's terrible what alcoholism does to your organs.

A black Christian man and a white Jewish man walk into a bar...

"That's racist!"

Okay, so a Christian man and a Jewish man walk into a bar...

"That's religionist!"

Okay, so two men walk into a bar...

"That's sexist!"

Okay, so a man and a woman walk into a bar...

"That's homophobic!"

Okay, so two people walk into a bar...

"That's ableist!"

Okay, so two people enter a bar...

"That promotes alcoholism!"

Okay, so two people enter a place...

"Animals have rights too!"

Okay, so two animals, which may or may not be human, enter a place...

"I've heard this one before!"

A horse walks into a bar.

He orders a shot of whiskey and a beer.

The bartender says Why the long face?

The horse replies My alcoholism is destroying my family.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alcoholism sambuca jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working alcoholism liquor piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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