The Best 48 Alcoholics Jokes

Following is our collection of Alcoholics jokes which are very funny. There are some alcoholics alcohol jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these alcoholics drunk puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Alcoholics Jokes and Puns

How many alcoholics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the lightbulb in place and one to drink until the room spins.

If Alcoholics Had Written The Declaration Of Independence

would we have government of the pickled, by the pickled, and for the pickled?

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

Alcoholics joke, Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Alcoholics run right by stop signs...

Stoners wait for them to turn green

Alcoholics don't run in my family...

They stumble around breaking things


What's the worst thing about alcoholics?

They wine too much.

Alcoholics don't run in my family...

They stumble everywhere.

Egyptian alcoholics are the hardest to talk to.....

They are always in denial.

what do exorcists and alcoholics have in common?

They both treat their demons with spirits!

Well I finally solved my drinking problem, I joined Alcoholics Anonymous

Yeah I still drink, I just use a different name, that's all

Where do alcoholics get their breakfast pastries?

Drunken Donuts

You can explore alcoholics drinker reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alcoholics autonomous dad jokes. There are also alcoholics puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why are so many ghosts alcoholics?

Because they love BOOOOoooOOoOoOoooooooze!!

I would go to alcoholics anonymous

But everyone already knows

Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam walk into a bar

What is this, said the bartender, Alcoholics Eponymous?

What do you call a group of alcoholics with the same name?

Alcoholics synonymous.

Is this the Alcoholics helpline?

Operator: "Yes."
Caller: "Can you tell me how to make Sangria?"

What separates three whores from two alcoholics?

The cockpit door!

A guy walks into a bar

Because men are 13 times more likely to become alcoholics.

I'm a bartender and part-time therapist.

There are far too many depressed alcoholics in my town.


I come from a long line of alcoholics.

My gene pool has a swim up bar.

When I was little I heard that Russians liked to drink A lot...

After going through health class I realized that was bad but hey, if they wanted to be alcoholics then Soviet

I went to Alcoholics Anonymous and when I arrived...

Nobody was anonymous, they were all friends, all brothers. So we went out to celebrate.

They say alcoholics drink everyday

That's why I only drink every night.

There's only three things that tell the truth in the world

Kids, Alcoholics and yoga pants.

Until the last day of Channukah menorahs are a tease to potheads and alcoholics.

They are only partially lit.

You know the difference between an alcoholic and a drunk?

Alcoholics go to meetings, we drunks go to parties.

What do lesbians and alcoholics have in common?

Adickshun

I'm thinking of starting a fashion line for alcoholics.. I guess I'll just call it..

Michael Coors Light

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

One...Ok, just one more...Maybe a third to be social...May as well make it a few more now, I've missed the last bus...

Do you ever think alcoholics in Japan...

...just drink for the sake of it?

How do alcoholics relax after a long day?

They wine down.

Why do alcoholics go to the doctor

For the shots

What do alcoholics and chemists have in common?

They both view alcohol as a solution.

I'll see my self out......

Just like not all rectangles are squares but all squares are rectangles..

Not all alcoholics are Irishmen, but all Irishmen are alcoholics!

Why are failed lawyers usually alcoholics?

They couldn't pass the bar

Why do children of recovering alcoholics have such big family reunions?

They have twelve-step-parents.

Alcoholics should become unfunny comedians

all the free boos they could ask for

Why don't we hear much about egyptian alcoholics?

Because they're all in the nile

I'm currently in a recovering alcoholics program in North Carolina.

But to keep it short, I just tell people I'm in the NCAA.

Why is it difficult for alcoholics to become lawyers?

It's hard for them to pass the bar.

Told my Canadian friend my Alcoholics Anonymous teacher gave my homework an A

"You got an AA A, eh?"

Free Drink!

Paddy went to the Doctors. and said do you treat alcoholics , The Dr replied, of course we do ………Paddy said great get your coat on, I'm feckin skint

Has anyone heard about the cemetery for alcoholics?

It's haunted by spirits.

So 2 alcoholics walk into a bar

Or was it 3? I'm not sure who was there or what happens next, ask my friend, he drank waaaaaay less than me

Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be good enough at skating, biking, surfing, or running to be chosen to represent a brand like Nike, Red Bull, or Under Armour. Recently the pandemic has allowed me to double down on recreation and hone my craft, and I finally got a sponsor.

Thanks Alcoholics Anonymous!

One time i was at a bar

A lady asked me if alcoholics run in my family

i said "No but they stumble around and break shit"

Do alcoholics run in your family?

No but they stumble around and break shit.

Why are all ghosts considered alcoholics?

Because they bring Boos everywhere they go!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alcoholics boos jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working alcoholics fanta piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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