Alcoholic Drink Jokes
31 alcoholic drink jokes and hilarious alcoholic drink puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alcoholic drink that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Alcoholic Drink Short Jokes
Short alcoholic drink jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alcoholic drink humour may include short alcoholic beverages jokes also.
- A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar and order drinks. "We don't sell alcohol to anyone under 18", says the bartender.
- When I drink alcohol, people call me alcoholic. But when I drink fanta, no one calls me or texts me, I'm so lonely, pls help.
- Alabama changed the drinking age to 34 They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools
- TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
- An alcoholic wakes up in jail He asks the first police officer he sees "why am I here?"
the officer replies "for drinking"
The man replies "great, when do we start?" - I read an article saying that you might be an alcoholic if you drink everyday Thank god I only drink every night
- I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink on days that start with letter T. Tuesday, Thursday and Today.
- My daughter asked why I drink so much beer I told her it's because I actually have a condition that's pretty unfortunate. You see, my body is actually not capable of producing its own alcohol.
- When I drink Alcohol, everybody says I'm an Alcoholic.. When I drink Fanta, nobody says I'm Fantastic.
- I have read so many things about the impact of smoking and drinking alcohol I think I will quit reading soon.
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Alcoholic Drink One Liners
Which alcoholic drink one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alcoholic drink? I can suggest the ones about alcoholic and liquor.
- Doctor: You don't look too good. Do you smoke or drink alcohol? Me: I drink it.
- I don't drink alcohol for religious reasons. I drink it for other reasons.
- I drink alcohol without hesitation, but drugs, …drugs is where I draw the line.
- Why was the alcoholic mathematician arrested by the police? Drinking and deriving
- Remember alcohol and calculus dont mix So don't drink and derive
- How does an alcoholic decide how much beer to drink? On a case-by-case basis.
- I'm not an alcoholic ... Alcoholic's need a drink, but I already have one
- My son said that he's proud of me overcoming alcoholism. I'll drink to that.
- Drinking alcohol is like calculus. You have to know your limits.
- What do you call a mathematician who drinks too much? A functioning alcoholic.
- I don't drink alcohol anymore But I don't drink alcohol any less either
- What's a drinking game you can play by yourself? Alcoholism
- Me and my first drink of the day have something in common We are both alcoholic
- Drinking alcohol doesn't solve any problems. But then again, neither does drinking milk.
- They said I couldn't drink my problems away... But science says Alcohol is a solution.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Alcoholic Drink Jokes
What funny jokes about alcoholic drink you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean alcoholic father jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alcoholic drink pranks.
Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?
Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man gets pulled over for swerving
Officer says, "sir do you know why I pulled you over?"
*"I have no clue". The man replied.*
"Have you been drinking, sir?"
*"Not any alcoholic drinks, officer".*
"Then what is that in your cup holder?"
"*that's a half-drank Smirnoff Ice.*"
"I thought you said you didn't drink any alcohol tonight?"
"*No, officer. I said I haven't had any "alcoholic drinks". All of my friends are alcoholics and not a single one of them drinks that s**...."*
OC
My city decided to ban alcoholic drinks
Our health department started reporting 0 cases of corona
Based on a true story (programming, walks into a bar)
Two programmers walk into a bar. The Python programmer orders an orange juice. The C programmer gets a look of disgust and says "You're in a bar! You should order an alcoholic drink!" The Python programmer gets his juice, pulls out his wallet, and pays for his drink. The C programmer tells the bartender, "I want a hard whiskey, and put it on my tab." The Python programmer gets a look of disgust and shouts "Tab?!?"
What is the most Canadian non-alcoholic drink?
American beer.
I saw a clown drinking an alcoholic drink while doing death defying stunts.
I told him, "That's whiskey."
A range of alcoholic drinks is being produced named after famous authors
.... Dickens Cider is proving very popular
What do you call a tavern that only serves non-alcoholic drinks?
A pro-teen bar
What does a baby do when it doesn't get its favorite alcoholic drink?
It wines.
Two chemists walk into a bar. One of them orders an alcoholic drink. The other says "I'll have double of what he has."
He died of butanol poisoning.
What's a cats favourite alcoholic drink?
Whiskers on the rocks
What's a policeman's favourite alcoholic drink?
Copperberg
As a diabetes educator, a number of my clients truly do not understand that when I tell them two alcoholic drinks per day, it does not mean they can save them all and have 14 on Saturday night.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Alcoholic,an Obese Guy and a j**... find themselves infront of Pearly Gates
So St.Peter says he can grant them each one wish in heaven.
The Alcoholic wishes for a neverending fountain of the most tastefull alcoholic drink known to humanity,and he is transported to heaven,and there it was,made out of pure gold,smelling like Channel 5 and tasting ljke pure ecstasy.
The Obese Guy wishes for a neverending burger,and there it fell right into his hand,it looked like it was made by god himself,and after tasting it he forgot about all other food.
So the j**... goes up to St.Peter and asks him:Mann can you lend me a dolla or two
What does the alcoholic drink when he complains
wine
(kinda sorry)
What is a nudist's favourite alcoholic drink?
A daiquiri.