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Alcohol Free Jokes

22 alcohol free jokes and hilarious alcohol free puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alcohol free that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Alcohol Free Short Jokes

Short alcohol free jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alcohol free humour may include short alcohol drink jokes also.

  1. What does alcohol free beer taste like? Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right.
  2. I asked my friend who the antagonist of Borderlands is. Me: "If you tell me, i'll give you some alcohol for free"
    Friend: "Alright then, hand some jack"
  3. Alcohol Free Beer Is a lot like going down on your sister.
     
    It tastes the same but it's just plain wrong.
  4. I'm highly skeptical over the existence of "alcohol-free beer"... There's literally zero proof.
  5. The Bible says I'll pay for my sins.
    I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
  6. I will be doing an alcohol free month... I guess I'll have to find an alternative to ethanol as a solvent for my capsaicin extractions.
  7. Drinking alcohol free beer is the same as going down on your sister It tastes the same, but feels wrong
  8. Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace &choose to pay for self destruction
  9. You tell them you're quitting alcohol, they offer you free drinks. You tell them you're vegan, they offer you steaks and hamburgers.
    You tell them you have no s**... life and ... nobody bats an eye.
  10. Drinking alcohol-free beer.. ..is like giving o**... s**... to your sister. The taste is the same, but deep inside, you know that something is terribly wrong.

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Alcohol Free One Liners

Which alcohol free one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alcohol free? I can suggest the ones about alcoholic and alcoholic drink.

  1. What do you call an alcohol free Japanese city? Nadasaki
  2. Alcoholics should become unfunny comedians all the free boos they could ask for
  3. LPT: Never accept a drink from a stranger at a bar. It could be alcohol-free!😱

Alcohol Free Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about alcohol free you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean alcoholic beverages jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alcohol free pranks.

I like my (wo)men like I like my coffee...

...hot, black, and strong
^(possibly the original)
...thin, pale, and extra-sweet.
...50% alcohol.
...all over my g**... while I'm trying to drive.
...I don't like coffee.
...imported from micronesia.
...free, fresh and in the breakroom.
...huge and cheap with room for cream.
...cold, bitter, expensive and Italian.
...in a plastic cup.
^(eddie izzard)
...ground up, roasted, and quickly disposed of.

Today marks 5 weeks of isolation...

I'm walking 2 miles a day, no meat, dairy or flour. Eating fresh vegetables and home cooked meals every day. The change has been fantastic! I feel great!
Zero alcohol, a healthy diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 1 hour home workout each day! Lost 20 lbs and gained muscle mass. I've even cut my screen time in half and am reading a book a week.
I have no idea who wrote this, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy and paste.

Nobody rewarded me :(

I see people in the subreddit of ''GetMotivated'' writting stuff like ''I am a month free from alcohol'' or ''I am 3 months away from gambling'' and they get awards for doing that. Well I wrote there ''I am 3 months away from studying''. Nobody rewarded me. Thank you people of reddit!

I can't refuse a free drink

My friend goes to get a beer from his fridge and asks me if I'd like one
Me - "sure! I can't refuse a free drink, it's against my religion"
Friend - "what religion is that?"
Me - "Alcoholism"

Today marks 4 weeks of isolation. Been running 2.5 miles a day, drinking 2 gallons of water, cut out ALL meat, sugar, dairy and flour. I feel great! Zero alcohol, a healthy vegan diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 30 minute home workout each day.

I have no idea who originally posted this, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy & paste!

Free Drink!

p**... went to the Doctors. and said do you treat alcoholics , The Dr replied, of course we do ………p**... said great get your coat on, I'm feckin skint