Album Jokes

118 album jokes and hilarious album puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about album that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article looks at the lighter side of music by discussing some of the funniest jokes related to record albums. Learn how Metallica fans use vinyls to create their own comedic masterpieces, and find some of the favourite song-related one-liners.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Album Short Jokes

Short album jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The album humour may include short playlist jokes also.

  1. Taylor Swift is dropping albums like I'm dropping pounds Only two, but still more than anyone expected.
  2. Taylor swift waved at a boy yesterday But he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
  3. I bought 2 Chainz' latest album, but it was the censored edition. It's easily one of the best instrumental CDs I've heard in a long time.
  4. You shouldn't worry about headaches I mean, it's all in your head.
  5. WARNING! There is a link being sent around with a message that says "Justin Bieber's Latest Album". DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK! It will take you to Justin Bieber's latest album.
  6. Fun fact I was born the same day a Green Day album was released So, that means two American Idiots came out that day
  7. I got a vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn't sound anything like wasps! Turns out I was playing the bee side
  8. What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours? Skip to the next track
  9. The next 600 stimulus check is gonna be a new U2 album downloaded on our phones without our consent
  10. I just finished listening to a country album backwards. I got my dog, my truck, and my wife back.

Share These Album Jokes With Friends

Album One Liners

Which album one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with album? I can suggest the ones about songs and book.

  1. What's an album with zero bad songs? A photo album.
  2. I just listened to a michael jackson album It was Bad to be honest
  3. What's the quietest album in the world? Stephen Hawking - unplugged
  4. I only have one Michael Jackson album it's Bad
  5. I rate the next One Direction album... ...four out of five stars.
  6. They just released the longest album ever It's a new record
  7. If Eminem did karate... His next album would be Marshall Arts
  8. Silver side up is Nickelback's best album Especially when used as directed.
  9. I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums. I need Help.
  10. Your family is so ugly... ...your photo albums only contain the negatives
  11. Turning back the clock an hour in 2020 Is like getting a bonus track on a Yoko Ono album.
  12. Kanye has a new country album in the works It's called "Ye Haw"
  13. I bought a Chris Brown's greatest hits album. It was just a bunch of Rihanna songs.
  14. My rap album never made big-bucks Cause of the diss-counts
  15. Does anyone know why people are buying Chris Brown's new album? Because it beats me.

Record Album Jokes

Here is a list of funny record album jokes and even better record album puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A rapper made an album while in prison. But everyone who bought it was jailed. Why? Because they had a criminal record.
  • Did you guys hear about the globe that got pressed flat into vinyl album? Yeah, it was a world record.
  • The Eagles held the record for bestselling album of all time. That was until Micheal Jackson beat it..
  • I tried getting into Guinness World record by smashing up music albums I broke a lot of records
    *ba dum tis*
  • Do I have a police record? No... but I have two of their albums on tape.
  • Everyone thought Kim Jung Un was in a vegetative state, but actually he was in the studio recording his acoustic album Kim Jung Unplugged.
  • I smashed a thousand albums yesterday... I think I broke a record.
  • Where Does Phil Collins Record His Albums? In the stu\-stu\-studio.
    Reaction to this could go either way. I am ready.
  • I was record shopping the other day in a hot store with broken A/C... Thought I saw an Oasis album, but it was just a mirage.
  • I've started planning for 2017 already: I'm going to record a Death Metal Christmas Album. I'm going to call it *Sleigher*.

Album Covers Jokes

Here is a list of funny album covers jokes and even better album covers puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • An upset man has filed a lawsuit against Nirvana over the band's iconic 1991 album cover. Sounds like a baby just trying to grab some money.
  • Cher puts out an album only covering Meatloaf. Title: Cher the Meatloaf
  • Did you hear about Kurt Cobain's new album? He did a cover of The Wall by Pink Floyd
  • Why didn't Al Green's record label let him put a n**... pic of himself on the cover? They said they need an Al-b**... cover.
Album joke, Why didn't Al Green's <a href="/label-jokes.html" title="Label jokes">record label</a> let him put a

Album joke, Why didn't Al Green's <a href="/label-jokes.html" title="Label jokes">record label</a> let him put a

Hilarious Album Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about album you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean movie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make album pranks.

Matthew McConaughey and Andre 3000 released an album together.

The reviews were
AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright

If you like to have s**... while listening to music, always pick a live album

... that way you'll get applauded every 3-4 minutes

If al gore tried his hand as a musician, his album would be called...

Girlfriend thought of this while doing dishes earlier.... I could hear her laughing to herself in the other room for almost 10 minutes.

Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album?

Because they threw the bass player under the bus.

My car started making this whining noise...

So I took it to the shop and had the mechanic look over it. Turns out all he had to do was take the Taylor Swift album out.
Sorry if this was a repost, I took a quick browse and didn't see it anywhere.

Photo Album

A young boy was looking through
the family album and asked his
mother, "Is this you on the beach?
Mother says "Yes, it is"
Son asks "Who's this guy with you with all the
muscles and curly hair?"
"That's your father."
"Then who's that old bald-headed
fat man who lives with us now?"

A man was dissatisfied with a Chad Kroeger album he bought off of the 95% rack...

So he returned it and got his Nickelback

A girl wants to go to the concert...

She asked her dad for his permission, and he said, "no, but you can buy the album, and that's vinyl."

So a man gets back from a holiday.

and he's showing his family a photo album. He gets to one picture and says, look this is a little monkey called a macaque, and it's diet consists mostly of c**.... His family is somewhat impressed and enjoy the cute picture.
The man then says "Well if you liked that, you'll love these!" turns the page and the family let out cries of disgust and horror. surprised, the man says "What? it's just another picture of a crab eating macaque."

If A Tree Falls Down In The Woods...

But no one is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?

Taylor Swift's next album is going to be another break-up album.

It will be about her split with Spotify.

Can someone help me understand this joke....

Today while listening to Townes Van Zandt, he tells a joke on a live album: What's white and crawls up your leg? Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice. Am I too young to understand this? Is there a historical element to this missing?? Is it just obsurd? Thanks in advance and hope this is the right place to ask this question.

If a tree falls in the forest & nobody hears it...

Does a hipster buy its album?

Have you guys heard the new Potato album?

I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't, it's pretty underground

I tried buy only some of the songs off of a Beatles album

But the store owner said they all come together

Someone's written an album about thermometers...

I've heard it's been nominated for a Mercury Prize.

I sent an Adele album to a guy who bought it on eBay, anyway his payment cancelled and I'm out of pocket ....

Should I just give up or should I keep on chasing payments

Arnold Schwarzenegger is actually a talented composer with a love for classical music!

His newest album is titled, "I'll Be Bach."

Did you hear that Fergie and R. Kelly are collaborating on a new album?

They are calling their group the Black Guy Pees.


What happens when u ask a fake logic fan... What is your favorite logic album?
Their response Flexicution

People tell me that you shouldn't buy bootleg products because the quality isn't very good...

I disagree. I recently purchased a copy of the black keys newest album from a guy on the street. The quality of their #1 hit "Pyrite on the Ceiling" was superb.

Did you hear about the mummy that reached the top 10 with his new album?

People say it's cause he has the tightest wraps

After Kanye and Donald Trump met up the other day, they will be working on a new album together....

The Deportation of Pablo

I listened to the new Ed Sheeran album.

I can't wait for Exponentiate.

I heard this new album is pretty short.

What do you mean? There should be like 15 tracks on here.
Well, the clerk told me this one only has trey songz.

What is a priest's favorite rap album?

All s**...-Eyez On Me

g**... it what was the name of that Nirvana album?

Ah nevermind

Have you heard the name of Chris Brown's latest album?

Chris Brown's Greatest Hits ft. Rihanna

I have been looking for a download of an album I used to have on cassette tape.

Anyone have at link to "Head Cleaner Kit"?

fleetwood Mac are releasing a new album

I don't pay much attention to them, but I've heard rumours

So I accidentally got a tupac album

but it's no biggie

My friends and I just started a music group.

We're calling the band "Grandpa's Life Support." That way, if we ever have an acoustic album, it'll be called "Grandpa's Life Support: Unplugged."

My friend from Beijing asked me to suggest some nice Taylor Swift songs so I asked him to listen to "T.S.1989" album

I haven't heard anything from him since

I went into walmart to buy the album "Get Rich or Die Trying" but I had to dispute the price when it rang up for ten dollars...

... because it clearly says 50 Cent on it.

There's a rumor that if you play a Nickleback album backwards it plays satanic messages. But that's nothing....

... if you play it forwards it plays a Nickleback album.

A guy turns to his buddy during an archaeological excavation and slides one headphone back off his ear...

"Hey man, I really dig this album!"

What do you call a Jamaican that just finished his reggae album?


What is the difference between a Nickelback album and a Playstation Vita

You can play the Nickelback album

I bought a photo album.

It's just forty minutes of clicking noises.

I hear they've introduced a new category to the grammies

The quietest album; and the award goes to:
Stephen Hawking... Unplugged

When I was a kid, my dad always used to hit me with a camera

I still have flashbacks, and a really weird photo album

If you get an email saying "click this link to hear Nickelback's new album for free" DO NOT CLICK IT

It will take you directly to a site where you can hear Nickelback's new album for free.

Tried to buy a Charlie Brown LP on ebay and got a Davy Jones album instead.

You know what they say.
You pay Peanuts, you get Monkees.

Did Queen release a Hip-Hop album in the 70s?

Becauase I keep hearing of a Bohemian Rap-CD

What is Donald Trump's favorite Pink Floyd album?

Dark side of the Moon, for it's eclectic instrumentation and higher than average production values.

Really disappointed with the new Beatles album

It's all drum & bass

How long will it take for Rammstein's new album to be released?

'Till Lindemann has finished the lyrics.

My girlfriend Mel just showed me a photo album full of all her self shot images she's taken over the years

She says it's her Melfie folder

A coworker asked me my thoughts on Disband the Police ...

I told him I don't really listen to them much, but I enjoyed their album Synchronicity.

I have a now famous relative

I have a now famous relative named Neil Coal who works in music. Back in 2003 he was under pressure to release his first album.
You might know him as Niel Diamond.

I have every Beatles album except one.

I need Help.

What was the name of h**...'s rap album?

Straight Outta Kampfton

I just bought a Mitch Hedburg Album I've never heard before. "Mitch Hedburg: The Lost Jokes"

It was blank.

Have you heard an ex Vice President is releasing a computer generated reggae album?

It's called Al Gore Rhythms

You kids have it easy with your convenient music streaming services and your smartphones. When we were teenagers, if we wanted to listen to an album by our favourite Australian alt rockers, we had to download it from Napster and put it on a CD ourselves.

We were burning the Midnight Oil.

Lady GaGa and the GooGoo Dolls are coming out with a children's album.

It's called GooGooGaGa

The other day I visited the thrift shop and picked up an old record album called 'Sound of Wasps'.

When I got home and played it I realised it didn't sound anything like wasps!
Turns out I'd been playing the Bee side.

You know, everyone says defund the police… but I don't think that's necessary…

They haven't put an album out in years!

Walking past the Intensive Care Unit, I heard Kanye's latest album blaring over the intercom.

I guess its true, Covid does affect your taste.
(Inspired by: u/FluffyTid)

Darth Vader walks into a record store

Darth Vader walks into a record store and asks if they have a copy of George Michael's first studio album. The clerk says they are sold out, to which Vader responds - I find your lack of Faith disturbing!

I just heard the Queen is dead!

Probably my favourite Smiths album

I'm in a band called Dyslexia.

We've just released our Greatest s**... album.

Album joke, I'm in a band called Dyslexia.

jokes about album