album Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious album puns

If Al Gore tried his hand as a musician, his album would be called...

**Algorithms.**

Girlfriend thought of this while doing dishes earlier.... I could hear her laughing to herself in the other room for almost 10 minutes.

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Taylor swift waved at a boy yesterday

But he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.

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My car started making this whining noise...

So I took it to the shop and had the mechanic look over it. Turns out all he had to do was take the Taylor Swift album out.


Sorry if this was a repost, I took a quick browse and didn't see it anywhere.

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I bought 2 Chainz' latest album, but it was the censored edition.

It's easily one of the best instrumental CDs I've heard in a long time.

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Ebola causes headaches, feelings of nausea and is very difficult to get rid of.

Is it a virus or a free U2 album?

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If you like to have sex while listening to music, always pick a live album

... that way you'll get applauded every 3-4 minutes

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What's the quietest album in the world?

Stephen Hawking - unplugged

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What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours?

Skip to the next track

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I only have one Michael Jackson album

it's Bad

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I rate the next One Direction album...

...four out of five stars.

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Christmas...FB style!

β€Ž'Twas a cold day on Facebook, and all through the house.


Not a creature was posting, not even a #mouse.

The photos were set, in an album with care.

The girls were hoping someone would mention their hair.

.

But no one did, much to their despair.

No one really noticed, liked it, or cared.

Try as they might, taking pics all through the night.

Taking pictures of yourself, just isn't right.

.

With duck faces galore, and dressed up like a whore,

twas on this day in december, not a soul would remember.


Trust me you just aren't that hot, and we will just keep on livin',

yes on this day in december, not a flying fuck was given.

.

Cause for a fuck to be given, one has to be had,

And now I can see, and i hope you're not mad.

For no matter the process you took to look splendid,

not one person cared, and now this christmas story has ended.

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Photo Album

A young boy was looking through
the family album and asked his
mother, "Is this you on the beach?

Mother says "Yes, it is"

Son asks "Who's this guy with you with all the

muscles and curly hair?"

"That's your father."

"Then who's that old bald-headed
fat man who lives with us now?"

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What's Donald Trump's favorite album to listen to?

The Wall

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My buddy just told me he gave his girlfriend the Adele.

I asked if he meant her new album.

He said "No. It's when you put your thumb in her pussy and a finger in her ass. You rub them together and say 'Hello from the other side".

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What's yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono.

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The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It's mostly drum and bass.

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If you get an email saying "click this link to hear Nickelback's new album for free" DO NOT CLICK IT

It will take you directly to a site where you can hear Nickelback's new album for free.

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Matthew McConaughey and Andre 3000 released an album together.

The reviews were
AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright
AlrightAlrightAlright

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What is Donald Trumps favorite album?

The Wall

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Wasp Expert

The world expert on European wasps was strolling past a record shop. A sign caught his eye: "New Album - Wasps of the World! The man asked to hear the album and was given headphones. Three minutes later, he announced, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognize none of those." The shop assistant offered to play another track. And another. And another. Still, the expert did not hear sounds he recognized. Suddenly, the shop assistant realized his mistake. "I'm really sorry," he said. "I was playing you the bee side!!.

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Did you hear that Fergie and R. Kelly are collaborating on a new album?

They are calling their group the Black Guy Pees.

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A girl wants to go to the concert...

She asked her dad for his permission, and he said, "no, but you can buy the album, and that's vinyl."

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What's black and white and red all over?

A White Stripes album cover

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Goddam it what was the name of that Nirvana album?

Ah nevermind

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After Kanye and Donald Trump met up the other day, they will be working on a new album together....

The Deportation of Pablo

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Someone's written an album about thermometers...

I've heard it's been nominated for a Mercury Prize.

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A rapper made an album while in prison. But everyone who bought it was jailed. Why?

Because they had a criminal record.

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I went into walmart to buy the album "Get Rich or Die Trying" but I had to dispute the price when it rang up for ten dollars...

... because it clearly says 50 Cent on it.

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I bought a Chris Brown's greatest hits album.

It was just a bunch of Rihanna songs.

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What's Donald Trumps favorite Pink Floyd album

The wall

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If you play a Nickelback album backwards, you may hear satanic messages.

Even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Nickelback.

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There's a rumor that if you play a Nickleback album backwards it plays satanic messages. But that's nothing....

... if you play it forwards it plays a Nickleback album.

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Does anyone know why people are buying Chris Brown's new album?

Because it beats me.

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Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album?

Because they threw the bass player under the bus.

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What's Dale Earnhardt's favorite Pink Floyd album?

Dark side of the moon.

You sick bastard.

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Tried to buy a Charlie Brown LP on ebay and got a Davy Jones album instead.

You know what they say.

You pay Peanuts, you get Monkees.

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My friends and I just started a music group.

We're calling the band "Grandpa's Life Support." That way, if we ever have an acoustic album, it'll be called "Grandpa's Life Support: Unplugged."

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I hear they've introduced a new category to the grammies

The quietest album; and the award goes to:
Stephen Hawking... Unplugged

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People tell me that you shouldn't buy bootleg products because the quality isn't very good...

I disagree. I recently purchased a copy of the black keys newest album from a guy on the street. The quality of their #1 hit "Pyrite on the Ceiling" was superb.

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Whats Donald Trumps favorite album?

The Wall

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Did you hear about the mummy that reached the top 10 with his new album?

People say it's cause he has the tightest wraps

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What's Donald Trump's favorite Pink Floyd Album?

The Dark Side of the Moon... What a filthy casual.

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I sent an Adele album to a guy who bought it on eBay, anyway his payment cancelled and I'm out of pocket ....

Should I just give up or should I keep on chasing payments

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Have you heard the name of Chris Brown's latest album?

Chris Brown's Greatest Hits ft. Rihanna

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What do you call a Jamaican that just finished his reggae album?

Ben-jamin

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The Eagles held the record for bestselling album of all time.

That was until Micheal Jackson beat it..

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What's Donald Trumps favourite album?

"The Wall" by Pink Floyd

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What is Trump's favorite album?

The Wall - Pink Floyd

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So I accidentally got a tupac album

but it's no biggie

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Have you guys heard the new Potato album?

I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't, it's pretty underground

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What's Trump's favorite Pink Floyd album?

The Wall. Huehuehue

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If A Tree Falls Down In The Woods...

But no one is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?

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My friend from Beijing asked me to suggest some nice Taylor Swift songs so I asked him to listen to "T.S.1989" album

I haven't heard anything from him since

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When I was a kid, my dad always used to hit me with a camera

I still have flashbacks, and a really weird photo album

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The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny.

When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.

One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.

"Now do you understand?" he asked.

"I think so," she said.

"That was when mommy came to work for us?"

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What's Donald Trumps favourite album?

The Wall.

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What is Donald Trump's favourite music album?

The Wall

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What's the hottest album in hell right now?

Views from the 666

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If a tree falls down in the woods...

But nobody is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?

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Arnold Schwarzenegger is actually a talented composer with a love for classical music!

His newest album is titled, "I'll Be Bach."

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I have been looking for a download of an album I used to have on cassette tape.

Anyone have at link to "Head Cleaner Kit"?

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If a tree falls in the forest & nobody hears it...

Does a hipster buy its album?

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What do you call a delayed album release by Post Malone?

Post-Poned!

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Logic

What happens when u ask a fake logic fan... What is your favorite logic album?

Their response Flexicution

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A man was dissatisfied with a Chad Kroeger album he bought off of the 95% rack...

So he returned it and got his Nickelback

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I listened to the new Ed Sheeran album.

I can't wait for Exponentiate.

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I tried buy only some of the songs off of a Beatles album

But the store owner said they all come together

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I wanted to tell you a joke about my favourite Michael Jackson album

but it's Bad

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So a man gets back from a holiday.

and he's showing his family a photo album. He gets to one picture and says, look this is a little monkey called a macaque, and it's diet consists mostly of crabs. His family is somewhat impressed and enjoy the cute picture.
The man then says "Well if you liked that, you'll love these!" turns the page and the family let out cries of disgust and horror. surprised, the man says "What? it's just another picture of a crab eating macaque."

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What's Donald Trumps favorite album?

The Wall

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Taylor Swift's next album is going to be another break-up album.

It will be about her split with Spotify.

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I bought a photo album.

It's just forty minutes of clicking noises.

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A guy turns to his buddy during an archaeological excavation and slides one headphone back off his ear...

"Hey man, I really dig this album!"

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What is the difference between a Nickelback album and a Playstation Vita

You can play the Nickelback album

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What is Donald Trumps favorite rock album?

The Wall.

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What is a priest's favorite rap album?

All Sodom-Eyez On Me

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If a tree falls in the forest and noone is around to hear it..

..does a hipster buy its album?

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Can someone help me decide which Nirvana album to buy?

Wait, Nevermind

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I recently thought that I had lost my Chingy album

But then I realized it was right thurr

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Did you hear Al Gore's new electronic / R&B album?

It's called al-gore-rhythms.

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What is Donald Trump's favorite Pink Floyd album?

The Wall.

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If The Dark Side Of The Moon had tracks 3 and 5 removed

The album would be timeless, but there wouldn't be any money in it.

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What is Donald Trump's favorite music album?

The Wall

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What would a Christian Rap album featuring only UPS drivers be titled?

The Deliverance

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What's Donald Trump's favorite album?

The Wall

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Riff Raff should name his next album "Street Rat."

'Cause I won't buy that.

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But seriously folks, what is Joe Walsh's best album?

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50 Cent released an album in Zimbabwe

You probably haven't heard of it, because he debuted under the name "Million Dollar Man"

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Adele's album naming convention ...

... Is getting old

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Did you hear the new Whitney Houston album?

It didn't make much of a splash.

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I put an album in the microwave and now the microwave is broken

It was a metal album

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I was record shopping the other day in a hot store with broken A/C...

Thought I saw an Oasis album, but it was just a mirage.

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If someone took a photo every time I yelled "Oh, Shoot!"...

They'd have a photo album of all my mistakes.

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My friend will donate a red hot chili peppers album to charity

He will give it away, give it away, give it away now

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What's Donald Trump's favorite rock album?

The Wall.

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I've started planning for 2017 already: I'm going to record a Death Metal Christmas Album.

I'm going to call it *Sleigher*.

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Just bought an an Indian dubstep album.

It has some pretty Sikh tunes.

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I heard this new album is pretty short.

What do you mean? There should be like 15 tracks on here.

Well, the clerk told me this one only has trey songz.

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Fleetwood Mac are releasing a new album

I don't pay much attention to them, but I've heard rumours

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Daughty's last album was 4 years ago...

Please tell me, It's Not Over.

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Shania is working on an R&B album.

She's calling it Soul Twain.

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Just listen to Arctic Monkey's latest album

I'll give it a 4 out of 5

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An adorable girl asked me something

"Are you single?"

"No, I am an album"

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So you had the U2 album drop into your iTunes library without your permission? β€ͺ#β€Žfirstworldproblems‬

Meanwhile, people without food and water had Bono turn up to their yard in person.
β€ͺ#β€Žthirdworldproblems‬

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I ordered a ska album from Barnes and Noble, but they don't deliver.

I had to pick it up pick it up pick it up.

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Can someone help me understand this joke....

Today while listening to Townes Van Zandt, he tells a joke on a live album: What's white and crawls up your leg? Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice. Am I too young to understand this? Is there a historical element to this missing?? Is it just obsurd? Thanks in advance and hope this is the right place to ask this question.

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What does U2's album and Ebola have in common?

Both cause headaches, feelings of nausea, and are difficult to get rid of.

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Which is Donald Trump's favourite music album?

the wall by pink floyd

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Have you heard the new album of Christmas Carols by the Deaf Choir Of Great Britain?

No?

Neither have they

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Country Music Album

My friends don't seem to be enjoying my attempt at a Country Music album. It bothers them that the song about Germany runs straight into the song about Poland.

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Why did ISIS burn 10000 copies of "Dark Side Of The Moon"?

Because it's a terrible album.

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How do I find out more information on the new Tenacious D album?

You have to flooga-google it

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I've got an album I'm about to drop...

It's called my GPA.

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Why didn't Al Green's record label let him put a naked pic of himself on the cover?

They said they need an Al-bum cover.

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What's Batman's least favourite album?

A Night at the Opera.

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My favorite Drake album was Take Care.

Nothing Was the Same after Take Care.

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Cher puts out an album only covering Meatloaf. Title:

Cher the Meatloaf

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George Michael dropped a new album

Last Christmas, Remastered.

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Beastie Boys is putting out another album!

Update: It's been cancelled due to sabotage.

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In 1987 Bernie Sanders wrote a folk album titled "we will overcome"

At the same time Donald Trump wrote an album called "we will over-comb"

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So I just listened to Kanye's album...

Dafuq?

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I hate Michael Jackson's seventh studio album

It's just bad.

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What's Trump's favorite album?

Pink Floyd - the Wall

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Guns N Rose's are coming out with a new album

Their calling it "Make America Wait Again"

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What's the farthest you've ever gotten in a Sheryl Crow album?

For me, the first cut is the deepest

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I have an Emerson, Lake, & Palmer album on vinyl

I guess you can say I have it on an ELP

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You guys wanna know what's bad?

Michael Jackson's Seventh album

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Apparently Kanye dropped a new album on an obscure platform.

Torrent.

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There is a new album exploding in Syria's topcharts

Sean Paul - Tomahawk Technique

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Are you Kendrick Lamar's new album?

Cuz, Damn

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Kanye West ruined his chances of having sex with Taylor Swift this weekend...

TIDAL and his album release have proven he's premature.

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How do you find out more info on the new Tenacious D album?

You have to flooga-Google it

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I'm writing a Carrie Fisher tribute album

It'll be called "Looking For Love In Alderraan Places".

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Why did Led Zeppelin call their second album II?

They didn't want to ramble on

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What do you call a Radiohead album that's had all its energy taken out of it?

0 K Computer

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How do you get people to pirate an album?

Release it on TIDAL

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The Beatles just released a new album.

Apparently it's just drums and bass.

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What did DJ Khaled say after he listened to his 'Grateful' album?

"I just played myself."

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This morning I found out the terrible news about David Bowie,

He released a new album.

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Dr Dre's newborn has just released its first album

"Straight Outta Momma"

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Hey, has anybody heard...

Hey has anybody heard the new Tom Petty unplugged album?

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What's USSR favourite Pink Floyd's Album?

The Wall.








pls don't pitchfork me

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What's Louis CK's favorite Blink 182 Album?

Take Off Your Pants and Jacket

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Lil Peep droped an album,

After it dropped, so did he.

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The only positive thing about the Jesse Lacey accusations?

We'll get a good Taking Back Sunday album out of it.

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What do you call a computer that drops an Album and names it 21?

A Dell

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Dr. Dre is has converted to Judaism and is recording a Chanukah album

He'll now be going by the moniker Dr. Dreidel.

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What do you call an album with only one nice song?

A Single

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A group of scientist were working to develop time travel to stop the creation of Pearl Jam's first album.

But they found it to be an untenable task.

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I was listening to Adele's lastest album....

The irony of it was that it wasn't over till the fat lady stopped singing.

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If Tupac comes back

Some would say his new album would be called Tu-Back

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What are the best Album puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Album? Well, here are the best jokes about Album to have fun with.

Joko Jokes