Album Jokes

If Al Gore tried his hand as a musician, his album would be called...


Girlfriend thought of this while doing dishes earlier.... I could hear her laughing to herself in the other room for almost 10 minutes.

Taylor swift waved at a boy yesterday

But he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.

My car started making this whining noise...

So I took it to the shop and had the mechanic look over it. Turns out all he had to do was take the Taylor Swift album out.

Sorry if this was a repost, I took a quick browse and didn't see it anywhere.

I bought 2 Chainz' latest album, but it was the censored edition.

It's easily one of the best instrumental CDs I've heard in a long time.

Ebola causes headaches, feelings of nausea and is very difficult to get rid of.

Is it a virus or a free U2 album?

If you like to have sex while listening to music, always pick a live album

... that way you'll get applauded every 3-4 minutes

What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours?

Skip to the next track

What's the quietest album in the world?

Stephen Hawking - unplugged

I only have one Michael Jackson album

it's Bad

I rate the next One Direction album...

...four out of five stars.

Photo Album

A young boy was looking through
the family album and asked his
mother, "Is this you on the beach?

Mother says "Yes, it is"

Son asks "Who's this guy with you with all the

muscles and curly hair?"

"That's your father."

"Then who's that old bald-headed
fat man who lives with us now?"

If you get an email saying "click this link to hear Nickelback's new album for free" DO NOT CLICK IT

It will take you directly to a site where you can hear Nickelback's new album for free.

What's yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono.


The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It's mostly drum and bass.

Matthew McConaughey and Andre 3000 released an album together.

The reviews were
AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright AlrightAlrightAlright

Did you hear that Fergie and R. Kelly are collaborating on a new album?

They are calling their group the Black Guy Pees.

Wasp Expert

The world expert on European wasps was strolling past a record shop. A sign caught his eye: "New Album - Wasps of the World! The man asked to hear the album and was given headphones. Three minutes later, he announced, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognize none of those." The shop assistant offered to play another track. And another. And another. Still, the expert did not hear sounds he recognized. Suddenly, the shop assistant realized his mistake. "I'm really sorry," he said. "I was playing you the bee side!!.

A girl wants to go to the concert...

She asked her dad for his permission, and he said, "no, but you can buy the album, and that's vinyl."

Goddam it what was the name of that Nirvana album?

Ah nevermind

After Kanye and Donald Trump met up the other day, they will be working on a new album together....

The Deportation of Pablo

A rapper made an album while in prison. But everyone who bought it was jailed. Why?

Because they had a criminal record.

Someone's written an album about thermometers...

I've heard it's been nominated for a Mercury Prize.

I went into walmart to buy the album "Get Rich or Die Trying" but I had to dispute the price when it rang up for ten dollars...

... because it clearly says 50 Cent on it.

I bought a Chris Brown's greatest hits album.

It was just a bunch of Rihanna songs.

A coworker asked me my thoughts on Disband the Police ...

I told him I don't really listen to them much, but I enjoyed their album Synchronicity.

I have a now famous relative

I have a now famous relative named Neil Coal who works in music. Back in 2003 he was under pressure to release his first album.

You might know him as Niel Diamond.

What is Donald Trump's favorite Pink Floyd album?

Dark side of the Moon, for it's eclectic instrumentation and higher than average production values.

Did you guys hear about the globe that got pressed flat into vinyl album?

Yeah, it was a world record.

There's a rumor that if you play a Nickleback album backwards it plays satanic messages. But that's nothing....

... if you play it forwards it plays a Nickleback album.

Tried to buy a Charlie Brown LP on ebay and got a Davy Jones album instead.

You know what they say.

You pay Peanuts, you get Monkees.

Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album?

Because they threw the bass player under the bus.

Did Queen release a Hip-Hop album in the 70s?

Becauase I keep hearing of a Bohemian Rap-CD

Does anyone know why people are buying Chris Brown's new album?

Because it beats me.

People tell me that you shouldn't buy bootleg products because the quality isn't very good...

I disagree. I recently purchased a copy of the black keys newest album from a guy on the street. The quality of their #1 hit "Pyrite on the Ceiling" was superb.

I hear they've introduced a new category to the grammies

The quietest album; and the award goes to:
Stephen Hawking... Unplugged

My friends and I just started a music group.

We're calling the band "Grandpa's Life Support." That way, if we ever have an acoustic album, it'll be called "Grandpa's Life Support: Unplugged."

Did you hear about the mummy that reached the top 10 with his new album?

People say it's cause he has the tightest wraps

Have you heard the name of Chris Brown's latest album?

Chris Brown's Greatest Hits ft. Rihanna

The Eagles held the record for bestselling album of all time.

That was until Micheal Jackson beat it..

What do you call a Jamaican that just finished his reggae album?


Heard in Townes Van Zandt's Live at the Old Quarter album

There's this drunk walking down the street, and he walks up to this cop and says, Man, somebody stole my car. The cop says, Well, where was it? And he says, It was right on the end of this key.

The cop says, There's not much I can do for you, but why don't you go down to the precinct house and report it down there. They'll fill out all the proper forms for you.

The guy says ok, and he starts to walk off, but the cop stops him and says, Before you go downtown, you better zip up your fly.

The guy looks down and he says, Aw man, they got my girl too.

I sent an Adele album to a guy who bought it on eBay, anyway his payment cancelled and I'm out of pocket ....

Should I just give up or should I keep on chasing payments

I have every Beatles album except one.

I need Help.

Have you guys heard the new Potato album?

I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't, it's pretty underground

So I accidentally got a tupac album

but it's no biggie

My girlfriend Mel just showed me a photo album full of all her self shot images she's taken over the years

She says it's her Melfie folder

My friend from Beijing asked me to suggest some nice Taylor Swift songs so I asked him to listen to "T.S.1989" album

I haven't heard anything from him since

If A Tree Falls Down In The Woods...

But no one is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?

When I was a kid, my dad always used to hit me with a camera

I still have flashbacks, and a really weird photo album

The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny.

When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.

One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.

"Now do you understand?" he asked.

"I think so," she said.

"That was when mommy came to work for us?"

Really disappointed with the new Beatles album

It's all drum & bass

Arnold Schwarzenegger is actually a talented composer with a love for classical music!

His newest album is titled, "I'll Be Bach."

I have been looking for a download of an album I used to have on cassette tape.

Anyone have at link to "Head Cleaner Kit"?

If a tree falls in the forest & nobody hears it...

Does a hipster buy its album?

So a man gets back from a holiday.

and he's showing his family a photo album. He gets to one picture and says, look this is a little monkey called a macaque, and it's diet consists mostly of crabs. His family is somewhat impressed and enjoy the cute picture.
The man then says "Well if you liked that, you'll love these!" turns the page and the family let out cries of disgust and horror. surprised, the man says "What? it's just another picture of a crab eating macaque."

How long will it take for Rammstein's new album to be released?

'Till Lindemann has finished the lyrics.

I listened to the new Ed Sheeran album.

I can't wait for Exponentiate.

A guy turns to his buddy during an archaeological excavation and slides one headphone back off his ear...

"Hey man, I really dig this album!"

What is the difference between a Nickelback album and a Playstation Vita

You can play the Nickelback album

Taylor Swift's next album is going to be another break-up album.

It will be about her split with Spotify.

What is a priest's favorite rap album?

All Sodom-Eyez On Me

I bought a photo album.

It's just forty minutes of clicking noises.


What happens when u ask a fake logic fan... What is your favorite logic album?

Their response Flexicution

I tried buy only some of the songs off of a Beatles album

But the store owner said they all come together

A man was dissatisfied with a Chad Kroeger album he bought off of the 95% rack...

So he returned it and got his Nickelback

Everyone thought Kim Jung Un was in a vegetative state, but actually he was in the studio recording his acoustic album

Kim Jung Unplugged.

Riff Raff should name his next album "Street Rat."

'Cause I won't buy that.

Fleetwood Mac are releasing a new album

I don't pay much attention to them, but I've heard rumours

I recently thought that I had lost my Chingy album

But then I realized it was right thurr

Can someone help me decide which Nirvana album to buy?

Wait, Nevermind

What would a Christian Rap album featuring only UPS drivers be titled?

The Deliverance

Did you hear Al Gore's new electronic / R&B album?

It's called al-gore-rhythms.

If The Dark Side Of The Moon had tracks 3 and 5 removed

The album would be timeless, but there wouldn't be any money in it.

Adele's album naming convention ...

... Is getting old

An adorable girl asked me something

"Are you single?"

"No, I am an album"

I heard this new album is pretty short.

What do you mean? There should be like 15 tracks on here.

Well, the clerk told me this one only has trey songz.

Just listen to Arctic Monkey's latest album

I'll give it a 4 out of 5

But seriously folks, what is Joe Walsh's best album?

Daughty's last album was 4 years ago...

Please tell me, It's Not Over.

I've started planning for 2017 already: I'm going to record a Death Metal Christmas Album.

I'm going to call it *Sleigher*.

Did you hear the new Whitney Houston album?

It didn't make much of a splash.

I put an album in the microwave and now the microwave is broken

It was a metal album

I was record shopping the other day in a hot store with broken A/C...

Thought I saw an Oasis album, but it was just a mirage.

My friend will donate a red hot chili peppers album to charity

He will give it away, give it away, give it away now

One of my friends from Beijing is a big fan of Taylor Swift ..

He asked me to suggest some good album of her .

So I told him to try TS 1989 .

I haven't heard from him ever since .

50 Cent released an album in Zimbabwe

You probably haven't heard of it, because he debuted under the name "Million Dollar Man"

I thought Surviving R Kelly was the name of his next album

Boy was i pleasantly mistaken

If someone took a photo every time I yelled "Oh, Shoot!"...

They'd have a photo album of all my mistakes.

I was gonna ask which Nirvana album was the best but...


Shania is working on an R&B album.

She's calling it Soul Twain.

We have collected gags that can be used as Album pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Album, here are one liners and funny Album pick up lines.

Joko Jokes