Howlingly Hilarious Albert Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek
Einstein starts counting and Pascal runs off and hides, but Isaac Newton just stands in front of him and draws a square on the ground. When Einstein opens his eyes he says I found you Isaac , but Isaac Newton responds no you found a Newton over a square - you found Pascal!
Relativity
A student is taking the train back to MIT, and realizes that Albert Einstein just sat down in the seat next to him! Excitedly, the student asks: "Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?"
Albert Einstein just finished his theory about space.
Its about time too
What do you call Albert Einstein giving a h**...?
A s**... of genius.
Albert Einstein owed the inspiration for one of his best ideas to his cousin who had Down Syndrome...
he had a special relative, you see?
What would albert einstein's name be if he was blonde?
Nobody would know
My buddy told me this hilarious joke earlier about Albert Einstein getting a h**......
What a s**... of genius!
They say you can't get a decent job without education.....
They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the Moon!
A new study shows that the majority of humans alive today are better at math than Albert Einstein.
Because he's dead.
Give a boy a fish, he eats for a day.
Give Albert Fish a boy, he eats for a week.
I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger
Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger
You can explore albert edith reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean albert herbert dad jokes. There are also albert puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What was Albert Einsteins DJ name?
MC Squared
Someone gave a h**... to Albert Einstein...
What a s**... of genius!
They say you can't get a decent job without education.
But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!
It's Albert Einstein, not mine
Few things are Infinite,
The Universe, Human stupidity and the amount of times you have to tell your Mother you can't pause an online Game.
I'm pretty sure that I am related to Albert Einstein.
However despite all of my research into my family tree, I just can't prove my theory of relativity.
What does Albert Einstein say after s**...?
To YOU that was fast.
If I recall correctly, in the mid 1900s, Albert Einstein proposed a new theory on space,
and it was about time, too.
Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek
Einstein is counting down while Newton and Pascal are trying to hide. Pascal jumps into the bushes and Newton walks a few steps, picks up a stick, draws a square on the ground and just stands there. Einstein turns around and instantly spots Newton.
- Found you Newton, you lose!
- Now wait a minute good sir, can't you see what I drew below me? I am a Newton on a square meter so technically you found Pascal.
Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that an evil scientist used to experiment on.
His name was FrankEinstein
My grandma recently claimed she once gave a h**... to Albert Einstein..
What a s**... of genius.
My redhead friend named Albert drinks Canada Dry every day
I call him Ginger Al
I got a h**... from Albert Einstein the other day...
It was a s**... of genius
Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert
Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert and that occasional situations would arise where somebody would come fetch me for consultation. I would burst into the room wearing a terry aerobics headband and exclaim, "did somebody say let's get physics Al?
A german visits France...
and he gets picked for a random check at the customs:
- Name?
- Albert Schmidt.
- Nationalite?
- German.
- Occupation? (In a French accent)
- No no, just visiting.
An aristocrat Bostonian lady hired a new chauffeur. As they started out on their first drive, she inquired:
"What is your name?"
"Thomas, ma'am," he answered.
"What is your last name," she said. "I never call chauffeurs by their first names."
"Darling, ma'am," he replied.
"Drive on - Thomas," she said.
(Rapp, Albert 1951. On the Origins of Wit and Humor. New York: Dutton. Pages 49-50)
What is Albert Einstein's rapper name?
MC Squared
Whats Albert Einstein's rap name?
MC Squared
An alien walks into a human brain shop
Vendor: Welcome, unfortunately we are very limited on brains right now and there are only 2 available.
Alien: I'll take a look.
Vendor: Well, here's the brain of Albert Einstein. He was very intelligent and was the reason behind much of human science. This is priced at $2. Here is the brain of someone who has watched every single "Keeping up with the Kardashians" episodes ever. It's listed at $200.
Alien: Woah, you're trying to rip me off. Why is the brain of someone that dumb worth so much?
Vendor: Simple, because this brain hasn't been used before.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius..
But his brother Frank was a monster.
Everyone knows Albert Einstein because of his research in physics. But most people don't know about his brother who did research in monster making...
His name was Frank
Marilyn Monroe suggests to Albert Einstein : "If you and I were to marry, our kids will be the smartest and most beautiful in all the world."
Einstein: "What if they get my looks and your brain?"
A bar walks into Albert Einstein.
Oops, wrong frame of reference.
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." ~ Albert Einstein
I'm not so sure either...
You all know Albert Einstein, but did you know he had a brother
Named Frank.
Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek.
Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes and starts to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't budge. Right in front of Einstein he bends down and scratches a box in the dirt, one meter on a side. The he just stands there, right in the middle of the box.
Einstein opens his eyes and says "Newton! I found you! You're it!"
"No," says Newton. "You found a Newton in one square meter. You found Pascal!"
Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean
Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.
Einstein: asks a question.
Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.
Einstein says: Okay, it's your turn.
Mr. Bean asks: What's an animal that has four legs, but when it's crossing a street, it has three legs and when it's on the other side of the street, it has only two?
Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.
Einstein says: I give up. *Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean*
Einstein asks: What is it?
Mr. Bean: gives a dollar to Einstein.
A bar walks into Albert Einstein.
See, all motion ees relative, ja?
Albert Einstein once famously said...
"Every great quote will eventually be misattributed to Albert Einstein"
What do you call it when Albert Einstein masturbates?
A s**... of genius.
Albert Einstein was a genius and it ran through his family.
His brother, Frank, created a monster.
An illiterate man and Albert Einstein are sitting together on the train.
Einstein: Let's play a game to pass some time. I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. If I can't answer a question from you, I'll give you $50.
Illiterate man: I'll go first. What has 3 legs in the morning, 4 legs in the afternoon, and 8 legs at night?
Einstein: I don't know. (Gives man $50) What is the answer to that question?
Illiterate man: (Gives $5 to Einstein)
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius
but his brother, Frank, was a monster creating doctor.
Guys, I just read something on the internet saying that Albert Einstein may not have existed!
Turns out he's just a theoretical physicist.
Albert Einstein created many concepts for modern physics.
His brother, Frank, however, created a monster.
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person.
I had always thought he was only a theoretical physicist.
Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek
Einstein is it, and he covers his eyes and begins to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't move. He leans down, scratches out a square one meter on a side, and just stands there, right in front of Einstein.
Einstein finishes counting, uncovers his eyes, and exclaims "Newton! I found you! You're it!"
Newton replies "No. You found a Newton in a square meter. You found Pascal!"
Albert Einstein
developed a theory about space. And, boy, it was about time, too!
Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study.
His brother Frank was an absolute monster.
Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study.
On the other hand, His brother Frank was an absolute monster.
TIL Albert Einstein really existed
I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
Why is Alberta known as the Texas of Canada?
Because Canadians don't know about Arkansas.
Albert Einstein once said: "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
He was probably talking about the 18th Amendment.
Albert Einstein had a brother named Frank.
But he was a real monster.
My friend found out that Albert Einstein was a real guy
He thought he was just a theoretical physicist
Everyone always talks about what a genius Albert Einstein was.
They never mention what a monster his brother Frank was.
I only recently found out that Albert Einstein was a real person..
All this time I thought he was only a theoretical physicist
A teacher is teaching a notorious class...
A teacher is teaching physics. Then he notices a boy is day dreaming. So the teacher asks that boy,
"Do you know who Albert Einstein is?"
The boy says "No, I don't".
"If you paid more attention to the lesson you should know" scolded the sir.
Then the boy asks the teacher "do you know who Kevin is?"
The teacher says "No I don't"
"If you paid more attention to your daughter you should know" said the boy.
Albert Einstein was running 20 minutes late as a guest speaker at a science conference.
He finally arrived apologizing profusely.
Einstein: "I am so terribly sorry you all had to wait. Anyway, here's my presentation."
Host: "It's about time."
Einstein: "And space!"
My nephew was genetically engineered to be like both Frank Sinatra and Albert Einstein.
He's a regular Frank Einstein.
I was today years old when I found out Albert Einstein was actually a real person...
I thought he was just a *theoretical* physicist!
It all makes sense now!
I just found out Albert Einstein was a real person! All this time I thought he was just a theoretical physicist.
o**... I just found out Albert Einstein was a real person!
This whole time I thought he was a theoretical physicist!
Did you know that Albert Einstein was completely made up?
He's just a theoretical physicist.
Few people knew about Albert Einstein's older brother Frank
He was a total monster.
I just found out Albert Einstein is a real person.
I thought he was theoretical physicist
I just found out Albert Einstein was a real person
All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist
What is the difference between stupidity and genius?
"What is the difference between stupidity and genius? Genius has its limits."
-- Albert Einstein
I just learned Albert Einstein's real
I always thought he was a theoretical physicist
