Albert Jokes
115 albert jokes and hilarious albert puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about albert that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article covers the funniest Albert jokes from a range of characters, including Fat Albert, Prince Albert, Uncle Albert and Spiritfarer Albert. Read on to find out Claude, Fred, Edith and more's jokes to bring some laughter into your day!
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Funniest Albert Short Jokes
Short albert jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The albert humour may include short albert einstein jokes also.
- TIL Albert Einstein was a real person. I had always thought he was only a theoretical physicist.
- They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!
- A new study shows that the majority of humans alive today are better at math than Albert Einstein. Because he's dead.
- I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger
- Albert Einstein owed the inspiration for one of his best ideas to his cousin who had Down Syndrome... he had a special relative, you see?
- My friend found out that Albert Einstein was a real guy He thought he was just a theoretical physicist
- Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that an evil scientist used to experiment on. His name was FrankEinstein
- Albert Einstein created many concepts for modern physics. His brother, Frank, however, created a monster.
- I'm pretty sure that I am related to Albert Einstein. However despite all of my research into my family tree, I just can't prove my theory of relativity.
- Guys, I just read something on the internet saying that Albert Einstein may not have existed! Turns out he's just a theoretical physicist.
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Albert One Liners
Which albert one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with albert? I can suggest the ones about smith and wit.
- A bar walks into Albert Einstein. Oops, wrong frame of reference.
- Albert Einstein just finished his theory about space. Its about time too
- What was Albert Einsteins DJ name? MC Squared
- Whats Albert Einstein's rap name? MC Squared
- You all know Albert Einstein, but did you know he had a brother Named Frank.
- Give a boy a fish, he eats for a day. Give Albert Fish a boy, he eats for a week.
- What would albert einstein's name be if he was blonde? Nobody would know
- What's Fat Albert's super villain alias? Fatal Bert.
- My redhead friend named Albert drinks Canada Dry every day I call him Ginger Al
- 90% of Albert Einstein quotes are fake. ~Albert Einstein, 2017
- Who is the most famous cow in France? Albert Camoo
- What does Mad Albert cry as a horse? Hay, Hay, Hay!
- Why was it impossible for Albert to build a house? He only had einstein
- Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: He was very thinkful. - Hi, I'm Albert Qaeda. Friends call me Al.
Albert Einstein Jokes
Here is a list of funny albert einstein jokes and even better albert einstein puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If I recall correctly, in the mid 1900s, Albert Einstein proposed a new theory on space, and it was about time, too.
- Albert Einstein once famously said... "Every great quote will eventually be misattributed to Albert Einstein"
- My nephew was genetically engineered to be like both frank sinatra and Albert Einstein. He's a regular Frank Einstein.
- "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." ~ Albert Einstein I'm not so sure either...
- Albert Einstein once said: "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. He was probably talking about the 18th Amendment.
- Marilyn Monroe suggests to Albert Einstein : "If you and I were to marry, our kids will be the smartest and most beautiful in all the world." Einstein: "What if they get my looks and your brain?"
- Did you know that Albert Einstein was completely made up? He's just a theoretical physicist.
- Everyone knows Albert Einstein because of his research in physics. But most people don't know about his brother who did research in monster making... His name was Frank
- Intelligent Minds Albert Einstein: Genius mind
Isaac Newton: Extraordinary mind
Bill Gates: Brilliant mind
You: Never mind - As Albert Einstein ones said: Two things are infinite; the universe and the 40-day trial for WinRAR!
Fat Albert Jokes
Here is a list of funny fat albert jokes and even better fat albert puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Who did Fat Albert accuse of leaving a burning cross on his lawn? "The Kaaay Kaaay Kaaaaay!"
- You guys remembered who voiced Fat Albert right? Probably not since he most likely roofied your drink.
- What did Fat Albert say on the toilet? Hey hey hey! Bombs away!
Prince Albert Jokes
Here is a list of funny prince albert jokes and even better prince albert puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I got a phone call from some helpful people who wanted me to know a few things... But what I'd like to know is who put Prince Albert in a can and why is my refrigerator running?
- Excuse me, sir, do you have Prince Albert in a can? You do! Well, you better let the poor guy out!
(inspired of course by the remake of IT) - I tried to go get a Prince Albert today. They told me I'd have to come back on a warmer day.
- I'm thinking about getting a Prince Albert... Do you have any tips?
Howlingly Hilarious Albert Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about albert you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sonny jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make albert pranks.
Bert is walking with Albert through the park and says, "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
Albert says, "What's the name of his other leg?"
Relativity
A student is taking the train back to MIT, and realizes that Albert Einstein just sat down in the seat next to him! Excitedly, the student asks: "Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?"
Why can't Albert Einstein drive?
Because he never learned.
Albert Einstein Begins a Lecture on General Relativity:
Ok, let's get started, so here is the gravity of the situation...
They say you can't get a decent job without education.....
They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the Moon!
Did you know Albert Einstein was also known on weekends as a clean-music-only bar mitzvah DJ?
Yeah, he went by the name MC Square.
Albert Einstein's brother, Frank, also did math.
He did the mooonster math. The monster math.
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Albert got a rash after he visited the brothel.
He had an Al o**....
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It's Albert Einstein, not mine
Few things are Infinite,
The Universe, Human stupidity and the amount of times you have to tell your Mother you can't pause an online Game.
Why couldn't Albert Einstein's dad teach him about vowels?
Cuz he didn't want to pay him when he said A.E.I.O.U.
My friend Albert was so smart, you know what they called him?
Einstein.
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What does Albert Einstein say after s**...?
To YOU that was fast.
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My grandma recently claimed she once gave a h**... to Albert Einstein..
What a s**... of genius.
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I got a h**... from Albert Einstein the other day...
It was a s**... of genius
Stephen Hawking asked Albert Einstein "What do you want for your birthday?". He responded,
"You.".
Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert
Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert and that occasional situations would arise where somebody would come fetch me for consultation. I would burst into the room wearing a terry aerobics headband and exclaim, "did somebody say let's get physics Al?
Wise Words
"I fear the day people are going to quote me for things i didn't say" - Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein told me I was insane one time.
He told me that I kept coming back here expecting to see a new and original joke every time, even though it wasn't possible.
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What do Fat Albert and Egypt have in common?
Two Ton Comin.
An aristocrat Bostonian lady hired a new chauffeur. As they started out on their first drive, she inquired:
"What is your name?"
"Thomas, ma'am," he answered.
"What is your last name," she said. "I never call chauffeurs by their first names."
"Darling, ma'am," he replied.
"Drive on - Thomas," she said.
(Rapp, Albert 1951. On the Origins of Wit and Humor. New York: Dutton. Pages 49-50)
I was so sad when my Antenna fell off the roof
My Uncle Albert didn't take it very well either.
Albert Einstein and Charlie Chaplin meet...
ALBERT EINSTEIN:- What I admire most about your art, is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet ... ... CHARLIE CHAPLIN:- It's true, but your fame is even greater! The world admires you, when nobody understands you!
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What's the difference between Albert Einstein and this baby I just killed?
Einstein died a v**....
Albert Einstein is one of the most respected people of all time...
It makes me sad that his brother Frank isn't seen the same way.
An alien walks into a human brain shop
Vendor: Welcome, unfortunately we are very limited on brains right now and there are only 2 available.
Alien: I'll take a look.
Vendor: Well, here's the brain of Albert Einstein. He was very intelligent and was the reason behind much of human science. This is priced at $2. Here is the brain of someone who has watched every single "Keeping up with the Kardashians" episodes ever. It's listed at $200.
Alien: Woah, you're trying to rip me off. Why is the brain of someone that dumb worth so much?
Vendor: Simple, because this brain hasn't been used before.
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We all know Albert Einstein was a genius..
But his brother Frank was a monster.
A man meets a foreign girl and says:"Hey girl, you're like Albert Einstein's last words"
Lost in translation
A man named Albert Smith once wrote in a hotel visitors book his initials A.S.
Somebody wrote underneath two-thirds the truth
Today I learned the fame of Albert Einstein pales in comparison to his brother whose work in cellular regeneration has been the subject of many books and several movies.
His name was Frank.
wait before albert einstein was invented who made my food?!?!?!
i was hungry!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
A man walks into an AA meeting
Man: Hi everyone, my name is Al
Person: Is Al short for Albert?
Man: No, it's short for Alcoholic. Isn't that why we're here?
Nobody believes that I was at the 1921 Nobel Prize Ceremony
All I said was that Albert Einstein walked in and everyone clapped.
A german and a jew walk into a bar
That German and that Jews name? Albert Einstein!
What did the kid who gets Gs and nines mixed up say when she saw Albert Einstein instigating Nicki Minaj?
9olly 9ee!
A newly released document from the CIA reveals that except his sister - Maja Einstein, Albert Einstein had a younger brother from another father.
His name was revealed to be Barrett Zweistein.
Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean
Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.
Einstein: asks a question.
Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.
Einstein says: Okay, it's your turn.
Mr. Bean asks: What's an animal that has four legs, but when it's crossing a street, it has three legs and when it's on the other side of the street, it has only two?
Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.
Einstein says: I give up. *Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean*
Einstein asks: What is it?
Mr. Bean: gives a dollar to Einstein.
An illiterate man and Albert Einstein are sitting together on the train.
Einstein: Let's play a game to pass some time. I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. If I can't answer a question from you, I'll give you $50.
Illiterate man: I'll go first. What has 3 legs in the morning, 4 legs in the afternoon, and 8 legs at night?
Einstein: I don't know. (Gives man $50) What is the answer to that question?
Illiterate man: (Gives $5 to Einstein)
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We all know Albert Einstein was a genius
but his brother, Frank, was a monster creating doctor.
Why is Alberta known as the Texas of Canada?
Because Canadians don't know about Arkansas.
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Albert Einstein had a brother named Frank.
But he was a real monster.
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Everyone always talks about what a genius Albert Einstein was.
They never mention what a monster his brother Frank was.
A teacher is teaching a notorious class...
A teacher is teaching physics. Then he notices a boy is day dreaming. So the teacher asks that boy,
"Do you know who Albert Einstein is?"
The boy says "No, I don't".
"If you paid more attention to the lesson you should know" scolded the sir.
Then the boy asks the teacher "do you know who Kevin is?"
The teacher says "No I don't"
"If you paid more attention to your daughter you should know" said the boy.
Albert Einstein was running 20 minutes late as a guest speaker at a science conference.
He finally arrived apologizing profusely.
Einstein: "I am so terribly sorry you all had to wait. Anyway, here's my presentation."
Host: "It's about time."
Einstein: "And space!"
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Few people knew about Albert Einstein's older brother Frank
He was a total monster.
