Albert Einstein Jokes

Q: My boyfriend is as beautiful as frank sinatra and as intelligent as Albert Einstein; what is his name?
A: Frankenstein.

Q: My boyfriend is as beautiful as Frank Sinatra and as intelligent as Albert Einstein; what is his name?
A: Frankenstein.

Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: He was very thinkful.

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein starts counting and Pascal runs off and hides, but Isaac Newton just stands in front of him and draws a square on the ground. When Einstein opens his eyes he says I found you Isaac , but Isaac Newton responds no you found a Newton over a square - you found Pascal!

Relativity

A student is taking the train back to MIT, and realizes that Albert Einstein just sat down in the seat next to him! Excitedly, the student asks: "Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?"

Why can't Albert Einstein drive?

Because he never learned.

Why was Albert Einstein's dad afraid to teach him vowels?

Because everytime he tried, he kept owing his son money!

What do you call Albert Einstein giving a h**...?

A s**... of genius.

Albert Einstein Begins a Lecture on General Relativity:

Ok, let's get started, so here is the gravity of the situation...

My buddy told me this hilarious joke earlier about Albert Einstein getting a h**......

What a s**... of genius!

They say you can't get a decent job without education.....

They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the Moon!

Did you know Albert Einstein was also known on weekends as a clean-music-only bar mitzvah DJ?

Yeah, he went by the name MC Square.

Albert Einstein's brother, Frank, also did math.

He did the mooonster math. The monster math.

Why was it impossible for Albert to build a house?

He only had einstein

What would Albert Einstein be called if he was gay?

A h**...-genius

Someone gave a h**... to Albert Einstein...

What a s**... of genius!

It's Albert Einstein, not mine

Few things are Infinite,
The Universe, Human stupidity and the amount of times you have to tell your Mother you can't pause an online Game.

Why couldn't Albert Einstein's dad teach him about vowels?

Cuz he didn't want to pay him when he said A.E.I.O.U.

I'm pretty sure that I am related to Albert Einstein.

However despite all of my research into my family tree, I just can't prove my theory of relativity.

90% of Albert Einstein quotes are fake.

~Albert Einstein, 2017

My friend Albert was so smart, you know what they called him?

Einstein.

What does Albert Einstein say after s**...?

To YOU that was fast.

What did Jesus say to Albert Einstein when Einstein died?

"We could have used a brilliant mind like yours in Heaven. Too bad you are a Jew."
Einstein replied, "That explains why you're here with me."

If I recall correctly, in the mid 1900s, Albert Einstein proposed a new theory on space,

and it was about time, too.

Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein is counting down while Newton and Pascal are trying to hide. Pascal jumps into the bushes and Newton walks a few steps, picks up a stick, draws a square on the ground and just stands there. Einstein turns around and instantly spots Newton.

- Found you Newton, you lose!
- Now wait a minute good sir, can't you see what I drew below me? I am a Newton on a square meter so technically you found Pascal.

Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that an evil scientist used to experiment on.

His name was FrankEinstein

My grandma recently claimed she once gave a h**... to Albert Einstein..

What a s**... of genius.

I got a h**... from Albert Einstein the other day...

It was a s**... of genius

Mr. and Mrs. Einstein had two kids.

Albert: Genius.
Frank: Monster creator.

Stephen Hawking asked Albert Einstein "What do you want for your birthday?". He responded,

"You.".

Wise Words

"I fear the day people are going to quote me for things i didn't say" - Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein told me I was insane one time.

He told me that I kept coming back here expecting to see a new and original joke every time, even though it wasn't possible.

As Albert Einstein ones said:

Two things are infinite; the universe and the 40-day trial for WinRAR!

Albert Einstein and Charlie Chaplin meet...

ALBERT EINSTEIN:- What I admire most about your art, is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet ... ... CHARLIE CHAPLIN:- It's true, but your fame is even greater! The world admires you, when nobody understands you!

What's the difference between Albert Einstein and this baby I just killed?

Einstein died a v**....

Intelligent Minds

Albert Einstein: Genius mind
Isaac Newton: Extraordinary mind
Bill Gates: Brilliant mind
You: Never mind

Albert Einstein is one of the most respected people of all time...

It makes me sad that his brother Frank isn't seen the same way.

Today I learned the fame of Albert Einstein pales in comparison to his brother whose work in cellular regeneration has been the subject of many books and several movies.

His name was Frank.

wait before albert einstein was invented who made my food?!?!?!

i was hungry!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Nobody believes that I was at the 1921 Nobel Prize Ceremony

All I said was that Albert Einstein walked in and everyone clapped.

What would Albert Einstein's rapper name be?

MC^2

What do you call Albert Einstein having an epilepsy fit?

s**... of genius.

A german and a jew walk into a bar

That German and that Jews name? Albert Einstein!

What did the kid who gets Gs and nines mixed up say when she saw Albert Einstein instigating Nicki Minaj?

9olly 9ee!

Everyone knows Albert Einstein because of his research in physics. But most people don't know about his brother who did research in monster making...

His name was Frank

Marilyn Monroe suggests to Albert Einstein : "If you and I were to marry, our kids will be the smartest and most beautiful in all the world."

Einstein: "What if they get my looks and your brain?"

A newly released document from the CIA reveals that except his sister - Maja Einstein, Albert Einstein had a younger brother from another father.

His name was revealed to be Barrett Zweistein.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." ~ Albert Einstein

I'm not so sure either...

Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes and starts to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't budge. Right in front of Einstein he bends down and scratches a box in the dirt, one meter on a side. The he just stands there, right in the middle of the box.
Einstein opens his eyes and says "Newton! I found you! You're it!"
"No," says Newton. "You found a Newton in one square meter. You found Pascal!"

Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean

Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.​If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.
Einstein: asks a question.
Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.
Einstein says: Okay, it's your turn.
Mr. Bean asks: What's an animal that has four legs, but when it's crossing a street, it has three legs and when it's on the other side of the street, it has only two?
Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.
Einstein says: I give up. *Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean*
Einstein asks: What is it?
Mr. Bean: gives a dollar to Einstein.

Albert Einstein once famously said...

"Every great quote will eventually be misattributed to Albert Einstein"

What do you call it when Albert Einstein masturbates?

A s**... of genius.

Albert Einstein was a genius and it ran through his family.

His brother, Frank, created a monster.

An illiterate man and Albert Einstein are sitting together on the train.

Einstein: Let's play a game to pass some time. I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. If I can't answer a question from you, I'll give you $50.
Illiterate man: I'll go first. What has 3 legs in the morning, 4 legs in the afternoon, and 8 legs at night?
Einstein: I don't know. (Gives man $50) What is the answer to that question?
Illiterate man: (Gives $5 to Einstein)

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius

but his brother, Frank, was a monster creating doctor.

Guys, I just read something on the internet saying that Albert Einstein may not have existed!

Turns out he's just a theoretical physicist.

Albert Einstein created many concepts for modern physics.

His brother, Frank, however, created a monster.

Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein is it, and he covers his eyes and begins to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't move. He leans down, scratches out a square one meter on a side, and just stands there, right in front of Einstein.
Einstein finishes counting, uncovers his eyes, and exclaims "Newton! I found you! You're it!"
Newton replies "No. You found a Newton in a square meter. You found Pascal!"

Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study.

On the other hand, His brother Frank was an absolute monster.

Albert Einstein once said: "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

He was probably talking about the 18th Amendment.

My friend found out that Albert Einstein was a real guy

He thought he was just a theoretical physicist

A teacher is teaching a notorious class...

A teacher is teaching physics. Then he notices a boy is day dreaming. So the teacher asks that boy,
"Do you know who Albert Einstein is?"
The boy says "No, I don't".
"If you paid more attention to the lesson you should know" scolded the sir.
Then the boy asks the teacher "do you know who Kevin is?"
The teacher says "No I don't"
"If you paid more attention to your daughter you should know" said the boy.