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Albert Einstein Jokes

104 albert einstein jokes and hilarious albert einstein puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about albert einstein that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Albert Einstein Short Jokes

Short albert einstein jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The albert einstein humour may include short einstein relativity jokes also.

  1. TIL Albert Einstein was a real person. I had always thought he was only a theoretical physicist.
  2. They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!
  3. A new study shows that the majority of humans alive today are better at math than Albert Einstein. Because he's dead.
  4. I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger
  5. Albert Einstein owed the inspiration for one of his best ideas to his cousin who had Down Syndrome... he had a special relative, you see?
  6. My friend found out that Albert Einstein was a real guy He thought he was just a theoretical physicist
  7. Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that an evil scientist used to experiment on. His name was FrankEinstein
  8. Albert Einstein created many concepts for modern physics. His brother, Frank, however, created a monster.
  9. I'm pretty sure that I am related to Albert Einstein. However despite all of my research into my family tree, I just can't prove my theory of relativity.
  10. Guys, I just read something on the internet saying that Albert Einstein may not have existed! Turns out he's just a theoretical physicist.

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Albert Einstein One Liners

Which albert einstein one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with albert einstein? I can suggest the ones about einstein theory and quantum physicist.

  1. A bar walks into Albert Einstein. Oops, wrong frame of reference.
  2. Albert Einstein just finished his theory about space. Its about time too
  3. What was Albert Einsteins DJ name? MC Squared
  4. Whats Albert Einstein's rap name? MC Squared
  5. You all know Albert Einstein, but did you know he had a brother Named Frank.
  6. What would albert einstein's name be if he was blonde? Nobody would know
  7. 90% of Albert Einstein quotes are fake. ~Albert Einstein, 2017
  8. Why was it impossible for Albert to build a house? He only had einstein
  9. Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
    A: He was very thinkful.
  10. A german and a jew walk into a bar That German and that Jews name? Albert Einstein!
  11. My friend Albert was so smart, you know what they called him? Einstein.
  12. Why can't Albert Einstein drive? Because he never learned.
  13. once there was a man He was the bus driver. And his name? Albert Einstein
  14. In his final hour, Albert Einstein started writing letters of farewell...
  15. Everyone knows Albert Einstein was a genius... But his brother, Frank, was a real doctor.

Cheerful Albert Einstein Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about albert einstein you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean physicist mathematician jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make albert einstein pranks.

Q: My boyfriend is as beautiful as frank sinatra and as intelligent as Albert Einstein; what is his name?
A: Frankenstein.

When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St. Peter wouldn’t let him in until he proved his identity.
Einstein scribbled out a couple of his equations, and was admitted into paradise.
And when Picasso died, St. Peter asked, “How do I know you’re Picasso?”
Picasso sketched out a couple of his masterpieces.
St. Peter was convinced and let him in.
When George W. Bush died, he went to heaven and met the man at the gates.
“How can you prove to me you’re George W. Bush?” Saint Peter said.
Bush replied, “Well heck, I don’t know.”
St. Peter says, “Well, Albert Einstein showed me his equations and Picasso drew his famous pictures. What can you do to prove you’re George W. Bush?”
Bush replies, “Who are Albert Einstein and Picasso?”
St. Peter says, “It must be you, George, c’mon on in.”

An easy question to Albert Einstein!

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"
The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."

"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"

So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.

But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.

The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."

Anti-matter

Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he was invited to give a speech. One day, on his way to one of those dinners, he told his chauffeur (who looked exactly like him) that he was dead tired of giving the same speech, dinner after dinner.
"Well," said the chaffeur, "I've got a good idea. Why don't I give the speech since I've heard it so many times?'' So Albert's chauffeur gave the speech perfectly and even answered a few questions. Then, a professor stood up and asked him a really tough question about anti-matter which the chauffeur couldn't answer
"Sir, the answer to your question is so easy that I'll let my chauffeur answer it!"

Speechmaking

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you."
Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"
When they arrive at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool.
Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."
edit=correct word(s)

Relativity

A student is taking the train back to MIT, and realizes that Albert Einstein just sat down in the seat next to him! Excitedly, the student asks: "Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?"

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Albert Einstein, John F Kennedy and God are on holiday

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Albert Einstein, John F Kennedy and God are on holiday
at the Kennedy compound on Cape Cod.
One a rainy afternoon Einstein suggests they play a game.
So they get out the card table and setup. God suggests Poker, Einstein 500 and Kennedy Blackjack.
After a ten minutes of arguments, Schwarzenegger says "Why don't we just play Yahtzee?"
At that God gets up and storms out.
Kennedy turns to Einstein and ask "What was that about?"
Einstein says "God does not play dice with Mr Universe"

What do Stephen Hawkings and Albert Einstein have in common?

They both can't tie their shoelaces.

Einsteinium

Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he was invited to give a speech. One day, on his way to one of those dinners, he told his chauffeur (who looked exactly like him) that he was dead tired of giving the same speech, dinner after dinner.
"Well," said the chaffeur, "I've got a good idea. Why don't I give the speech since I've heard it so many times?'' So Albert's chauffeur gave the speech perfectly and even answered a few questions. Then, a professor stood up and asked him a really tough question about anti-matter which the chauffeur couldn't answer
"Sir, the answer to your question is so easy that I'll let my chauffeur answer it!"

My friend has the mind of Albert Einstein

in his closet.

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

That rose's name? Albert Einstein.

Why was Albert Einstein's dad afraid to teach him vowels?

Because everytime he tried, he kept owing his son money!

You may like to add a tag to your YouTube video.

That tag?
Albert Einstein.

Albert Einstein Begins a Lecture on General Relativity:

Ok, let's get started, so here is the gravity of the situation...

Once upon a time, there was a boy...

That boy's name?
Albert Einstein
(Sorry)

Did you know Albert Einstein had a kid? And that kids name was...?

Albert Einstein.

"I guarantee I can teach you time dilation in five minutes."

"Tell that to Albert Einstein."

They say you can't get a decent job without education.....

They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the Moon!

Did you know Albert Einstein was also known on weekends as a clean-music-only bar mitzvah DJ?

Yeah, he went by the name MC Square.

Albert Einstein's brother, Frank, also did math.

He did the mooonster math. The monster math.

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What would Albert Einstein be called if he was gay?

A h**...-genius

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It's Albert Einstein, not mine

Few things are Infinite,
The Universe, Human stupidity and the amount of times you have to tell your Mother you can't pause an online Game.

Why couldn't Albert Einstein's dad teach him about vowels?

Cuz he didn't want to pay him when he said A.E.I.O.U.

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What does Albert Einstein say after s**...?

To YOU that was fast.

If I recall correctly, in the mid 1900s, Albert Einstein proposed a new theory on space,

and it was about time, too.

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My grandma recently claimed she once gave a h**... to Albert Einstein..

What a s**... of genius.

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I got a h**... from Albert Einstein the other day...

It was a s**... of genius

What if Albert Einstein was never born?

Then we would be living in the past. Quite literally.

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You know, I'm actually smarter than Albert Einstein

I mean he's dead so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Stephen Hawking asked Albert Einstein "What do you want for your birthday?". He responded,

"You.".

Wise Words

"I fear the day people are going to quote me for things i didn't say" - Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein, Issac Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek...

They play rock-paper-scissors to choose the seeker. A. Einstein is left so he has to be te seeker. He starts counting down from 10.
Pascal hides in a bush bearby, but Newton remains in plain sight. He draws a square with an area of 1m^2 and stays in it.
Einstein's countdown ends. 3.... 2.... 1....
He turns around and sees Isaac Newton in plain sight. He tells him:
"Ha, found you, Newton!"
I. Newton responds while nodding:
"You didn't find me, because 1N/1m^2 =1 Pascal. So it's Pascal who you found!"

Albert Einstein told me I was insane one time.

He told me that I kept coming back here expecting to see a new and original joke every time, even though it wasn't possible.

As Albert Einstein ones said:

Two things are infinite; the universe and the 40-day trial for WinRAR!

Albert Einstein and Charlie Chaplin meet...

ALBERT EINSTEIN:- What I admire most about your art, is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet ... ... CHARLIE CHAPLIN:- It's true, but your fame is even greater! The world admires you, when nobody understands you!

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What's the difference between Albert Einstein and this baby I just killed?

Einstein died a v**....

Intelligent Minds

Albert Einstein: Genius mind
Isaac Newton: Extraordinary mind
Bill Gates: Brilliant mind
You: Never mind

Albert Einstein is one of the most respected people of all time...

It makes me sad that his brother Frank isn't seen the same way.

An alien walks into a human brain shop

Vendor: Welcome, unfortunately we are very limited on brains right now and there are only 2 available.
Alien: I'll take a look.
Vendor: Well, here's the brain of Albert Einstein. He was very intelligent and was the reason behind much of human science. This is priced at $2. Here is the brain of someone who has watched every single "Keeping up with the Kardashians" episodes ever. It's listed at $200.
Alien: Woah, you're trying to rip me off. Why is the brain of someone that dumb worth so much?
Vendor: Simple, because this brain hasn't been used before.

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We all know Albert Einstein was a genius..

But his brother Frank was a monster.

A man meets a foreign girl and says:"Hey girl, you're like Albert Einstein's last words"

Lost in translation

Today I learned the fame of Albert Einstein pales in comparison to his brother whose work in cellular regeneration has been the subject of many books and several movies.

His name was Frank.

wait before albert einstein was invented who made my food?!?!?!

i was hungry!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Nobody believes that I was at the 1921 Nobel Prize Ceremony

All I said was that Albert Einstein walked in and everyone clapped.

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What do you call Albert Einstein having an epilepsy fit?

s**... of genius.

What did the kid who gets Gs and nines mixed up say when she saw Albert Einstein instigating Nicki Minaj?

9olly 9ee!

Everyone knows Albert Einstein because of his research in physics. But most people don't know about his brother who did research in monster making...

His name was Frank

Albert Einstein and Homer Simpson had a bet.

Albert Einstein says If I can't answer your question, i'll give you a million dollars. If you can't answer my question, you have to give me five dollars.
Homer says ok
Albert Einstein says I'll start: What is the capital of France?
Homer says lol idk
Homer gives Einstein 5 dollars.
Homer says What is alive but also dead
Einstein doesn't know the answer, and gives Homer a million dollars
Einstein says Wow, that was a tough question, what's the answer?
Homer gives Einstein 5 dollars.

Marilyn Monroe suggests to Albert Einstein : "If you and I were to marry, our kids will be the smartest and most beautiful in all the world."

Einstein: "What if they get my looks and your brain?"

A newly released document from the CIA reveals that except his sister - Maja Einstein, Albert Einstein had a younger brother from another father.

His name was revealed to be Barrett Zweistein.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." ~ Albert Einstein

I'm not so sure either...

Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean

Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.​If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.
Einstein: asks a question.
Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.
Einstein says: Okay, it's your turn.
Mr. Bean asks: What's an animal that has four legs, but when it's crossing a street, it has three legs and when it's on the other side of the street, it has only two?
Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.
Einstein says: I give up. *Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean*
Einstein asks: What is it?
Mr. Bean: gives a dollar to Einstein.

Albert Einstein once famously said...

"Every great quote will eventually be misattributed to Albert Einstein"

An illiterate man and Albert Einstein are sitting together on the train.

Einstein: Let's play a game to pass some time. I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. If I can't answer a question from you, I'll give you $50.
Illiterate man: I'll go first. What has 3 legs in the morning, 4 legs in the afternoon, and 8 legs at night?
Einstein: I don't know. (Gives man $50) What is the answer to that question?
Illiterate man: (Gives $5 to Einstein)

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We all know Albert Einstein was a genius

but his brother, Frank, was a monster creating doctor.

Albert Einstein once said: "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

He was probably talking about the 18th Amendment.

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Albert Einstein had a brother named Frank.

But he was a real monster.

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Everyone always talks about what a genius Albert Einstein was.

They never mention what a monster his brother Frank was.

jokes about albert einstein