Albanian Jokes

Following is our collection of brit humor and bulgarian one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Albanian puns for adults, dirty bosnian jokes or clean islander gags for kids.

There is an abundance of sie jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 12 funniest jokes on albanian. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any lithuanian witze you can hear about albanian.

The Best jokes about Albanian

Old Romanian Joke: How do you stop an Albanian Tank?

You shoot the guy pushing it.

God calls in an Albanian, a Grecian, and a Serbian for a quick reckoning.

God has realized that things aren't going so well in the general vicinity of the Balkans so he calls up an Albanian, a Grecian, and a Serbian to convince them to change their ways.
First he calls in the Grecian and says to them, "Your people have become so lazy in recent years! You're ruining everything I gave you! If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to push this here button and rain judgment on all of you." The Grecian runs out crying and afraid for the future of their people.
The Serbian is called in and God says, "Your people have been really aggressive and racist in recent years! You're ruining everything I gave you! If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to push this here button and rain judgment on all of you." The Serbian runs out fuming and angered about the future of their people.
The Albanian is finally called in and God says, "Your people are such thieves! You're stealing everything I gave to everyone else! If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to push this here button and rain judgment on all of you." The Albanian comes out smiling and the Grecian and Serbian ask them, "Didn't God say he would rain judgment on your people? Why are you smiling?"
To which the Albanian replies, "Yeah of course he did! But don't tell anyone that I've stolen his button."

Satan Visits Three Men on a Boat

Note: This works with any race or ethnic background, but I will tell it as I first heard it.



There are three men on a boat. A Macedonian, a Bulgarian, and an Albanian. Mr. Satan shows up and tells them that he will kill them if they can't throw something he can't find into the ocean. The Albanian throws in a grain of rice. Satan jumps in the water and comes back with the rice after a few hours. He kills the Albanian. The Bulgarian throws a grain of sand into the ocean. After a few days, Satan retrieves it and kills the Bulgarian. Satan looks expectantly at the Macedonian, who then proceeds to throw an Alka-Seltzer into the ocean.

Tomato

Not sure if this translates well from my Albanian origins

So their was a farmer woman and she is tending her crops and notices her tomatoes are brown and rotten. She looks over to her neighbors and they were bright red and juicy.

So one day she sees her neighbor and asks him.

Her what's your secret? My tomatoes will never get like yours and I water them every day

Farmer says My secret is at night I water them naked and they get embarrassed and blush

So she goes out at night and gets naked and waters the tomatoes.

2 weeks go by and the neighbor sees her and asks how her tomatoes are doing.

She responds tomatoes are still brown and rotten but the cucumbers are long hard juicy and thick

What is the difference between an Albanian and a goat?

A goat can actually feed a family.

**What is the similarity between an Albanian and a goat?**

The smell.


best jokes about Albania, from Romania:

Why the Albanian submarines resurface every 2 minutes? So the rowers can breath.

How do you destroy an Albanian tank? You shot the guy that pushes it.

Why did the Albanians lost the war? The archer was sick.

The Albanians managed to releases on market their fist computer, it's keyboard has 2 buttons: if you pres the first one nothing happens and the second one cancels the command

An american, a german and an albanian were on airplane...

They had to guess their own country by relasing their hand from the airplane.

The american goes first... "we are flying over America!"
-"How did you find out?"
-"I touched the scycarpers!" - says the american.

The second goes the german... "we are flying over Germany!"
-"How did you find out?"
-He says: "I touched meine army!"

Now it was the albanian turn... "we are flying over Albania!"
-"How did you find out?"
-"They stole my watch..."

An Englishman, Scottishman, Irishman, Welshman, Frenchman, Russian, Spaniard, Mexican, American, Norweigan, Swede, Albanian, Italian, Indian, Moroccan, Dutchman, Brazilian, Kenyan, Australian and Belgian walk into a bar.

The barman says; "You can't come in here without a Thai."

A man goes to church and enters the confession booth.


The priest says: What is it you want to confess?

The man said : Father. I went out last night and hooked up with two hot girls. One of them was 19 and the other 20. One of them was blond and the other brunette. We drank and smoked weed and had sex all night. It was my first threesome.

The priest : You have sinned my son. If you want to repent...(the man interrupts)

The man: No no. I am not a christian. I even do not believe in God. I am not here to confess I just wanted to boast and tell everyone.

Trolling bf

Name cat Pilli (meaning 'pussy' in Albanian). Tell boyfriend the name of the cat but not what it means.
Invite him over for dinner to meet the parents. Tell him to call for the cat.

You know the little burnt Albanian boy?

He's now Nigel Farage


Come here

An Albanian guy goes for the summer to Italy. When he finally returns he won't stop bragging about all the things he did, all the places he saw, and all the things he learned.
His friend is getting annoyed with all his boasting and asks him, "How do you say 'come here' in Italian?"
"vieni qui."
"How about 'go there'?"
At this point the show-off pauses for a few seconds trying to remember.
He finally says, "I go over there and tell you 'vieni qui'."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes