Alaskan Jokes

44 alaskan jokes and hilarious alaskan puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alaskan that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Feeling the chill of winter? Heat up your day with some Alaskan-themed jokes! From puns about the Alaskan malamute to wisecracks about native Alaskans, Eskimos, and even Antarctica, we've got all the Nigloo to keep you warm. Enjoy!

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Funniest Alaskan Short Jokes

Short alaskan jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alaskan humour may include short southeast jokes also.

  1. An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:
    Where were you on the night of October to April?
  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island. It turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  3. What does an Alaskan accountant and sociopath have in common? They're both cold and calculating.
  4. It is nearly impossible to find an eye doctor on an Alaskan island. They are all optical Aleutians.
  5. Culturally no one in alaska dates in the winter. When asked why, one alaskan replied, "We try, but its hard to break the ice."
  6. Alaskan said to Texan: Stop bragging.... ...about how big your state is, or we'll divide Alaska in half and make you the third largest state.
  7. The generals thought US soil would never be vulnerable to a naval attack ... The year: 2025. Russia invades an Alaskan archipelago. Needless to say, the US government is stripped of its Aleutians.
  8. Q. Why should you never order the T-bone in an Alaskan restaurant? Because it might be a moose steak.
  9. Why did the Alaskans start listening to Native American folk music? No one really knows, they're just really Inuit.
  10. Alaskan Eye Doctor I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island... but it turned out to be an optical aleutian.

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Alaskan One Liners

Which alaskan one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alaskan? I can suggest the ones about expedition and northwest.

  1. Two of my mom's sisters moved to the Alaskan wilderness. it's a double aunt tundra
  2. What do a missile silo and an Alaskan outhouse have in common? They both contain IC BMs.
  3. How do you invite a Native Alaskan to your home? You Eskimover!
  4. Why did the Alaskan man name his dog Frost? Because frost bites.
  5. What do girls fear that's big, scary, and pink? The Alaskan Bull Worm.
  6. Do any of you know what the 49th U.S. State is? I'm Alaskan for a friend.
  7. My Alaskan sled dog was barking but no sound came out... It turns out he was on Mala-mute
  8. What do you call a large alaskan animal that worships Allah? A Mooselem
  9. What do you call a Alaskan Emo Butcher? A cold cutter
  10. I tried Alaskan food once. But I wasn't that Inuit.
  11. What do Alaskans say when they meditate? NOOOOOOOOOOME
  12. How do you get an Alaskan flat tire? When the husky falls over
  13. An Alaskan and a Swiss went to Russia... They visited Moosecow.
  14. What do you call a pregnant Alaskan teenager? Juno from Juneau.
  15. 1989 Alaskan Wild life will get this... Oil

Alaskan joke, 1989 Alaskan Wild life will get this...

Playful Alaskan Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about alaskan you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean igloo jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alaskan pranks.

50 Jokes for 50 US States Part II

# Alaska
An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked, 'Where were you on the night of October to April?'
Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.

What do you call an Alaskan h**...?

A frostitute.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."

How do you know an Alaskan girl is enjoying s**...?

She's really Inuit.

What do you call an Alaskan p**...?

A snowblower.

Met a native Alaskan girl the other day. I asked her if all that stuff you see on the nature shows about Alaska is true How they hunt seals and eat whale blubber. She said yeah some ppl do that stuff. I asked her why she didn't

She said she's just not that Inuit.

My wife and I broke up

Looking back it just seems silly. We broke up because of our dream vacations of all things.
I always dreamed of going on an Alaskan cruise, whereas she always dreamed of sleeping with my best friend.
In the spirit of compromise I surprised her by suggesting we try both.
The biggest surprise, though, was that we each enjoyed the other's suggestion more.

What do you call a s**... from Alaska?

A baked Alaskan.

Married in the arctic circle

After 30 years of unfulfilling matrimony a crotchety old Alaskan couple finally decide to seek marriage counseling.
Upon the first meeting with their therapist they both sit down awkwardly on the couch, and pull back their Anorak hoods only to realize that they've been married to the WRONG person for the past 30 years.
The wife sighs, looks at the doctor and exclaims "It's like I've been trying to tell him doctor, I'm just not that Inuit."

A blonde went to an Alaskan sledding race.

She stood near a brunette as the race began. "There is absolutely *nothing* sexier than a man in a doggy-sled race," she said, biting her lip.
"Iditarod," the brunette corrected her.
The blonde woman scoffed. "So? I've used a cucumber, but this is still hotter."

If you call someone from Alaska an Alaskan, someone from Texas a Texan, and Iowa an Iowan; what do you call someone from Utah?

A m**...

Alaskan joke, Why did the Alaskans start listening to Native American folk music?