Alaskan Jokes

Feeling the chill of winter? Heat up your day with some Alaskan-themed jokes! From puns about the Alaskan malamute to wisecracks about native Alaskans, Eskimos, and even Antarctica, we've got all the Nigloo to keep you warm. Enjoy!

Playful Alaskan Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

How do you invite a Native Alaskan to your home?

You Eskimover!

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.

"I'm sorry," says the maรฎtre d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."

Married in the arctic circle

After 30 years of unfulfilling matrimony a crotchety old Alaskan couple finally decide to seek marriage counseling.

Upon the first meeting with their therapist they both sit down awkwardly on the couch, and pull back their Anorak hoods only to realize that they've been married to the WRONG person for the past 30 years.

The wife sighs, looks at the doctor and exclaims "It's like I've been trying to tell him doctor, I'm just not that Inuit."

What do you call an Alaskan h**...?

A frostitute.

What do you call a large alaskan animal that worships Allah?

A Mooselem

Culturally no one in alaska dates in the winter.

When asked why, one alaskan replied, "We try, but its hard to break the ice."

I tried Alaskan food once.

But I wasn't that Inuit.

Alaskan joke, I tried Alaskan food once.

Two of my mom's sisters moved to the Alaskan wilderness.

it's a double aunt tundra

What do girls fear that's big, scary, and pink?

The Alaskan Bull Worm.

It is nearly impossible to find an eye doctor on an Alaskan island.

They are all optical Aleutians.

Alaskan said to Texan: Stop bragging....

...about how big your state is, or we'll divide Alaska in half and make you the third largest state.

You can explore alaskan nigloo reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alaskan anchorage dad jokes. There are also alaskan puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

If you call someone from Alaska an Alaskan, someone from Texas a Texan, and Iowa an Iowan; what do you call someone from Utah?

A m**...

Q. Why should you never order the T-bone in an Alaskan restaurant?

Because it might be a moose steak.

An Alaskan and a Swiss went to Russia...

They visited Moosecow.

Alaskan Eye Doctor

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island... but it turned out to be an optical aleutian.

The generals thought US soil would never be vulnerable to a naval attack ...

The year: 2025. Russia invades an Alaskan archipelago. Needless to say, the US government is stripped of its Aleutians.

Alaskan joke, The generals thought US soil would never be vulnerable to a naval attack ...

What do you call a Alaskan Emo Butcher?

A cold cutter

How do you know an Alaskan girl is enjoying s**...?

She's really Inuit.

Met a native Alaskan girl the other day. I asked her if all that stuff you see on the nature shows about Alaska is true How they hunt seals and eat whale blubber. She said yeah some ppl do that stuff. I asked her why she didn't

She said she's just not that Inuit.

What do a missile silo and an Alaskan outhouse have in common?

They both contain IC BMs.

Why did the Alaskans start listening to Native American folk music?

No one really knows, they're just really Inuit.

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.

The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:

Where were you on the night of October to April?

How do you get an Alaskan flat tire?

When the husky falls over

What does an Alaskan accountant and sociopath have in common?

They're both cold and calculating.

My wife and I broke up

Looking back it just seems silly. We broke up because of our dream vacations of all things.

I always dreamed of going on an Alaskan cruise, whereas she always dreamed of sleeping with my best friend.

In the spirit of compromise I surprised her by suggesting we try both.

The biggest surprise, though, was that we each enjoyed the other's suggestion more.

What do you call a s**... from Alaska?

A baked Alaskan.

Alaskan joke, What do you call a s**... from Alaska?

What do you call an Alaskan p**...?

A snowblower.

What do Alaskans say when they meditate?

NOOOOOOOOOOME

A blonde went to an Alaskan sledding race.

She stood near a brunette as the race began. "There is absolutely *nothing* sexier than a man in a doggy-sled race," she said, biting her lip.

"Iditarod," the brunette corrected her.

The blonde woman scoffed. "So? I've used a cucumber, but this is still hotter."

My Alaskan sled dog was barking but no sound came out...

It turns out he was on Mala-mute

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island.

It turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

Why did the Alaskan man name his dog Frost?

Because Frost bites.

Do any of you know what the 49th U.S. State is?

I'm Alaskan for a friend.

50 Jokes for 50 US States Part II

# Alaska

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked, 'Where were you on the night of October to April?'

Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the alaskan frostitute puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working alaskan native alaskan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

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