The Best 82 Alaska Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Alaska jokes. There are some alaska north jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these alaska aleutian puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Alaska Jokes and Puns

If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey, what would Delaware?

I don't know but Alaska

A guy driving through Alaska has car trouble.

He finds a garage in town, and the mechanic tells him he'll check out the car, and to go across the street to the diner and have lunch during the wait, because it will take about 30 minutes.

The guy goes to the diner, then back to the garage in a half hour, and asks the mechanic what's up.

Mechanic says, "It looks like you blew a seal."

Guy wipes his mouth and says, "No - that was just the vanilla ice cream I had for dessert."

What do you call an emotionally unstable animal who lives in alaska and vacations in antarctica?

A BIPOLAR BEAR

Alaska joke, What do you call an emotionally unstable animal who lives in alaska and vacations in antarctica?

It gets cold in Alaska during the winter.

Juneau what I mean?

A man went hunting in Alaska.

A man was hunting in Alaska when he found himself confronted by a small, agitated bear. In order to survive, he shot it. Feeling hungry, he decided to utilize it and cook dinner in the woods.

It was tasty, even though it was a little grizzly.


Why did the fisherman want to go fishing in Alaska?

Just for the halibut.

How do Russians drive to Alaska?

By bearing straight

Alaska joke, How do Russians drive to Alaska?

What do lesbians in Alaska sing?

What would you do ew ew in a Klondike bar.

My mate went to Alaska and fell in love with both a male and female bear...

He's Bipolar..

Did you hear about the Alaska native that didn't like fish?

Yeah, he just wasn't inuit.

My roommate just told me he tried to walk to Russia from Alaska.

He pulled up short because he couldn't get his Bering Strait.

You can explore alaska south reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alaska arctic dad jokes. There are also alaska puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


There once was...

... A man from Nebraska,
Wait I got that part wrong, it's Alaska.
I'm awful with States,
And I'm not good with dates;
And my punch lines are just a disaster.

Why don't hipsters live in Alaska?

Everything is cool there already.

Culturally no one in alaska dates in the winter.

When asked why, one alaskan replied, "We try, but its hard to break the ice."

I just realized Alaska has some really weird city names

Did Juneau that?

What is a Minnesotan's favorite state to vacation in?

It's Alaska, don'Juneau.

Alaska joke, What is a Minnesotan's favorite state to vacation in?

If Mississippi asked Missouri for her New Jersey, what would Delaware?

Idaho either, but Alaska!

If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware?

I dunno, Alaska.

What did Delaware?

Idaho. Alaska


I tried Alaskan food once.

But I wasn't that Inuit.

I went on a date with a woman from Alaska...

Things were going pretty well, and we sincerely enjoyed each others company. Then at the end of the night, I tried to give her an Eskimo kiss, but I guess she wasn't really Inuit.

If I want to bang an Eskimo...

Alaska

I wonder what my wife's favourite US state is.

Maybe Alaska.

3 legged bear.....

There was a 3 legged bear in the woods, sad as it was he ran into a one legged bear from Alaska - he was the 3 legged bears polar opposite.

What is a hooker in Alaska called?

A frostitute!

So I was talking to my Australian friend when I asked him what country his Mother was from

"Alaska"

"Okay well tell me what she says"

Alaskan said to Texan: Stop bragging....

...about how big your state is, or we'll divide Alaska in half and make you the third largest state.

Hey man, where did Julie spend her vacation?

Alaska.

- No thats okay, I'll ask her myself

If you call someone from Alaska an Alaskan, someone from Texas a Texan, and Iowa an Iowan; what do you call someone from Utah?

A Mormon

When I was visiting the islands in Alaska, I thought I saw an eye doctor wandering around...

It was just an optical Aleutian.

What's the capital of Alaska?

Juneau?
Because I don't know?

What did the Alaska Native's girlfriend say when she broke up with him?

*"I'm just not that Inuit."*

Where are all the news anchors in Alaska born

Anchorage

God i hate myself

People say Alaska sucks because it's all ice...

but I think it's a real solid state.

What do you get when all 50 states legalize marijuana?

Baked Alaska.

If Mississippi went to Missouri for a New Jersey what did Delaware ?

Don't know, Alaska

A safari trip is a trip to the safari.

An Alaska trip is a trip to Alaska.

However, an acid trip is not a trip to acid. It's a trip to the safari in Alaska.

"What's the capital of Alaska?"

\- "Juneau".

\- "No, I don't, that's why I'm asking".

The former governor of Alaska is contributing to the manufacturing of new unmanned aircraft for the Afghanistan War.

These quadricopters are going to be named "Strikekirts", which reads the same forwards and backwards.

Why?

It's because they are Palindrones.

Being a bank guard in Alaska is tough...

Everyone wears ski masks

I have a fetish for indigenous girls. Wanted to have sex with this girl in Alaska, but, unfortunately...

... She wasn't inuit.

Someone asked me what the largest state in the US is...

...I told them I don't know but I know a girl who might so Alaska.

On an airplane to Alaska I was talking with the man next to me about fishing the rivers.

He asked if I'd thought about protecting myself from bears.

I proudly told him about the small caliber pistol I had for protection.

The man then asked "Have you filed off the sights?"

What do you call an eye doctor living in Alaska?

An optical Aleutian.

My friend asked what my wifes obsession with North America is all about

I'm not sure, but I said Alaska.

How do you know an Alaskan girl is enjoying sex?

She's really Inuit.

Where do lesbians in Alaska go to meet up?

The Klondike Bar

Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska

There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's vomit on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.

How do Jamaica?

I don't know, Alaska

What do you call Tony Montana in a trip to Alaska?

Scarfface

Met a native Alaskan girl the other day. I asked her if all that stuff you see on the nature shows about Alaska is true How they hunt seals and eat whale blubber. She said yeah some ppl do that stuff. I asked her why she didn't

She said she's just not that Inuit.

A blonde wanted to hang a map up in her room and put pins in everywhere she had been

After buying the map, she went to Japan. Then she went to Alaska. Then Antarctica. Then Australia. She finally went home and picked up her map.

"Now I can finally hang it up," she said.

Jean's mom came home after visiting her hometown

Maggie: Hey, where did your mom come from?

Jean: Alaska

Maggie: Don't bother, I'll ask her myself

What do you call a nudist beech in Alaska?

Frosted tips

An American and Canadian walk into a bakery

The American ordered some Baked Alaska. The Canadian, however, was having Nunavut.

You guys hear about that band from Alaska?

They are called New Block On the Kids.

My friend asked me where my female friend lived yesterday...

So I said. "I don't know. Alaska."

So I had to go to an eye doctor in Alaska

Turned out it was an optical Aleutian

Ever since my girlfriend moved to Alaska...

Shes been cold and distant.

Exhausted, we'd been sailing for mainland Alaska for days when I was sure we spotted it ...

Alas, it was just an Aleutian

What is the capital of Alaska?

Come on, Juneau this one!

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.

The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:

Where were you on the night of October to April?

I once killed an adult male Grizzly bear on a ski trip in Alaska with a small serrated knife.

I had no idea grizzlies could ski or where the bear got the knife.

In light of their recent legalization of marijuana, I will now be referring to Canada as "baked Alaska"

If anyone wants to start a petition you have my full support.

What does an Alaskan accountant and sociopath have in common?

They're both cold and calculating.

Car broke down in Alaska

When the tow truck arrived the driver said It appears you blew a seal

Guy said no, that's just mayonnaise, I ate a sandwich while waiting

Alaska doesn't exist

It was all an aleutian.

What do you call a stoner from Alaska?

A baked Alaskan.

I asked the half-Eskimo kid why he wanted to leave Alaska...

He said he just wasn't that Inuit.

Do you know what it's like to be a fish?

I don't, but Alaska Salmon.

TIL: A thousand years ago, a group of Native Americans tried to cross into Russia from Alaska but failed.

They couldn't get their Bering Strait.

My girlfriend left me after I said she reminded me of our dessert, a baked Alaska.

Fire hot on the outside, but ice cold on the inside. I should have just said sweet.

A guys car broke down in Alaska.

A mechanic came by to look at it and said "looks like you blew a seal" the guy replies "no thats just frost on my moustache"

Mississippi lent missouri her new jersey so what did delaware?

idaho but alaska

What do John Cena and 4th of July fireworks in Alaska have in common?

Can't see 'em.

If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey to wear at the fair, what will Delaware?

I don't know but Alaska.

I thoight I saw an eye doctor when I was in Alaska

But it turned out to be an Optical Aleutian

"Hey man, the 49th state is pretty cute. Do you know if she's single or not?"

"I'm not sure, but Alaska."

A reporter goes to a distant town in Alaska.

First he goes by train and then he has to ride a dog sled for several hours to get there. Upon arriving, he asks the town mayor:

"Have you considered building a train station closer to the town?"

"We have," answers the mayor, "but we eventually decided that the train station should be closer to the railroad."

What food does an environmentalist hate?

Baked Alaska

I dont know what land got sold to the US by Russia but my mum does...

Alaska

Texas would like to opt out...

...of the 7-day free trial of Alaska...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alaska tundra jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working alaska siberia piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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