Alaska Jokes

119 alaska jokes and hilarious alaska puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alaska that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Alaska is known for its vast wildlife, stunning scenery and extreme weather. Get ready to laugh out loud with these hilarious Alaskan jokes about bears, moose, the weather and even comparing Alaska to Texas. Enjoy these jokes from Alaskan natives and don't forget to share your own favorite Alaskan and Yukon jokes too!

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Funniest Alaska Short Jokes

Short alaska jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alaska humour may include short south jokes also.

  1. While sailing, I had trouble navigating the waters between Russia and Alaska. I couldn't get my bearings straight.
  2. If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey to wear at the fair, what will Delaware? I don't know but Alaska.
  3. A man from northern Alaska is on trial… The prosecutor asks in a menacing tone, Where were you in the night from October to April?
  4. Someone asked me what the largest state in the US is... ...I told them I don't know but I know a girl who might so Alaska.
  5. So I was talking to my Australian friend when I asked him what country his Mother was from "Alaska"
    "Okay well tell me what she says"
  6. My Kids Got p**... at Me for Cooking pancake this Morning Seems he was their favorite rabbit
  7. If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey, what would Delaware? I don't know but Alaska
  8. "Hey man, the 49th state is pretty cute. Do you know if she's single or not?" "I'm not sure, but Alaska."
  9. My roommate just told me he tried to walk to Russia from Alaska. He pulled up short because he couldn't get his Bering Strait.
  10. What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted
    Thank you Alaska Airlines rep

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Alaska One Liners

Which alaska one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alaska? I can suggest the ones about north and arctic.

  1. If I want to bang an Eskimo... Alaska
  2. I wonder what my wife's favourite US state is. Maybe Alaska.
  3. If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware? I dunno, Alaska.
  4. Ever since my girlfriend moved to Alaska... Shes been cold and distant.
  5. If Mississippi lent Missouri her New Jersey, what did Delaware? I don't know; Alaska
  6. I thought I saw an eye doctor in Alaska yesterday But it was only an optical Aleutian
  7. Do you know what it's like to be a fish? I don't, but Alaska Salmon.
  8. "What's the capital of Alaska?" \- "Juneau".
    \- "No, I don't, that's why I'm asking".
  9. What food does an environmentalist hate? Baked Alaska
  10. How do Jamaica? I don't know, Alaska
  11. If Mississippi went to Missouri for a New Jersey what did Delaware ? Don't know, Alaska
  12. How do Russians drive to Alaska? By bearing straight
  13. What do you call a nudist beech in Alaska? Frosted tips
  14. Why don't hipsters live in Alaska? Everything is cool there already.
  15. I don't know which state in the US she is I guess Alaska

Alaska Bear Jokes

Here is a list of funny alaska bear jokes and even better alaska bear puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My mate went to Alaska and fell in love with both a male and female bear... He's Bipolar..
  • I once killed an adult male Grizzly bear on a ski trip in Alaska with a small serrated knife. I had no idea grizzlies could ski or where the bear got the knife.
  • What do you call an emotionally unstable animal who lives in alaska and vacations in antarctica? A BIPOLAR BEAR
  • 3 legged bear..... There was a 3 legged bear in the woods, sad as it was he ran into a one legged bear from Alaska - he was the 3 legged bears polar opposite.
  • I was hiking in Alaska when I encountered a sleeping family of bears and just had to take a photo. It was a Kodiak moment.

Baked Alaska Jokes

Here is a list of funny baked alaska jokes and even better baked alaska puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • An American and Canadian walk into a bakery The American ordered some Baked Alaska. The Canadian, however, was having Nunavut.
  • My girlfriend left me after I said she reminded me of our dessert, a baked Alaska. Fire hot on the outside, but ice cold on the inside. I should have just said sweet.
  • What does sarah palin eat when she's high? Baked Alaska
  • What do you get when all 50 states legalize m**...? Baked Alaska.
  • What do you call a s**... from Alaska? A baked Alaskan.
  • In light of their recent legalization of m**..., I will now be referring to Canada as "baked Alaska" If anyone wants to start a petition you have my full support.
  • Alaska legalized m**...... It seems as if the national food for all m**... enthusiasts will become the Baked Alaska.
Alaska joke, Alaska legalized m**......

Alaska Native Jokes

Here is a list of funny alaska native jokes and even better alaska native puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • TIL: A thousand years ago, a group of Native Americans tried to cross into Russia from Alaska but failed. They couldn't get their Bering Strait.
  • What did the Alaska Native's girlfriend say when she broke up with him? *"I'm just not that Inuit."*
  • Did you hear about the Alaska native that didn't like fish? Yeah, he just wasn't inuit.
Alaska joke, Did you hear about the Alaska native that didn't like fish?

Humorous Alaska Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about alaska you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean southeast jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alaska pranks.

A guy driving through Alaska has car trouble.

He finds a garage in town, and the mechanic tells him he'll check out the car, and to go across the street to the diner and have lunch during the wait, because it will take about 30 minutes.
The guy goes to the diner, then back to the garage in a half hour, and asks the mechanic what's up.
Mechanic says, "It looks like you blew a seal."
Guy wipes his mouth and says, "No - that was just the vanilla ice cream I had for dessert."

It gets cold in Alaska during the winter.

Juneau what I mean?

A man went hunting in Alaska.

A man was hunting in Alaska when he found himself confronted by a small, agitated bear. In order to survive, he shot it. Feeling hungry, he decided to utilize it and cook dinner in the woods.
It was tasty, even though it was a little grizzly.

Why did the fisherman want to go fishing in Alaska?

Just for the halibut.

There once was...

... A man from Nebraska,
Wait I got that part wrong, it's Alaska.
I'm awful with States,
And I'm not good with dates;
And my punch lines are just a disaster.

Culturally no one in alaska dates in the winter.

When asked why, one alaskan replied, "We try, but its hard to break the ice."

I just realized Alaska has some really weird city names

Did Juneau that?

What is a Minnesotan's favorite state to vacation in?

It's Alaska, don'Juneau.

I went on a date with a woman from Alaska...

Things were going pretty well, and we sincerely enjoyed each others company. Then at the end of the night, I tried to give her an Eskimo kiss, but I guess she wasn't really Inuit.

What is a h**... in Alaska called?

A frostitute!

Alaskan said to Texan: Stop bragging....

...about how big your state is, or we'll divide Alaska in half and make you the third largest state.

Hey man, where did Julie spend her vacation?

- No thats okay, I'll ask her myself

If you call someone from Alaska an Alaskan, someone from Texas a Texan, and Iowa an Iowan; what do you call someone from Utah?

A m**...

Where are all the news anchors in Alaska born

God i hate myself

People say Alaska s**... because it's all ice...

but I think it's a real solid state.

A safari trip is a trip to the safari.

An Alaska trip is a trip to Alaska.
However, an acid trip is not a trip to acid. It's a trip to the safari in Alaska.

The former governor of Alaska is contributing to the manufacturing of new unmanned aircraft for the Afghanistan War.

These quadricopters are going to be named "Strikekirts", which reads the same forwards and backwards.
It's because they are Palindrones.

Being a bank guard in Alaska is tough...

Everyone wears ski masks

I have a f**... for indigenous girls. Wanted to have s**... with this girl in Alaska, but, unfortunately...

... She wasn't inuit.

On an airplane to Alaska I was talking with the man next to me about fishing the rivers.

He asked if I'd thought about protecting myself from bears.
I proudly told him about the small caliber p**... I had for protection.
The man then asked "Have you filed off the sights?"

What do you call an eye doctor living in Alaska?

An optical Aleutian.

My friend asked what my wifes obsession with North America is all about

I'm not sure, but I said Alaska.

How do you know an Alaskan girl is enjoying s**...?

She's really Inuit.

Where do l**... in Alaska go to meet up?

The Klondike Bar

Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska

There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's v**... on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.

Met a native Alaskan girl the other day. I asked her if all that stuff you see on the nature shows about Alaska is true How they hunt seals and eat whale blubber. She said yeah some ppl do that stuff. I asked her why she didn't

She said she's just not that Inuit.

A blonde wanted to hang a map up in her room and put pins in everywhere she had been

After buying the map, she went to Japan. Then she went to Alaska. Then Antarctica. Then Australia. She finally went home and picked up her map.
"Now I can finally hang it up," she said.

Jean's mom came home after visiting her hometown

Maggie: Hey, where did your mom come from?
Jean: Alaska
Maggie: Don't bother, I'll ask her myself

You guys hear about that band from Alaska?

They are called New Block On the Kids.

My friend asked me where my female friend lived yesterday...

So I said. "I don't know. Alaska."

So I had to go to an eye doctor in Alaska

Turned out it was an optical Aleutian

What is the capital of Alaska?

Come on, Juneau this one!

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.

The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:
Where were you on the night of October to April?

What does an Alaskan accountant and sociopath have in common?

They're both cold and calculating.

Car broke down in Alaska

When the tow truck arrived the driver said It appears you blew a seal
Guy said no, that's just mayonnaise, I ate a sandwich while waiting

Alaska doesn't exist

It was all an aleutian.

I asked the half-Eskimo kid why he wanted to leave Alaska...

He said he just wasn't that Inuit.

A guys car broke down in Alaska.

A mechanic came by to look at it and said "looks like you blew a seal" the guy replies "no thats just frost on my moustache"

Mississippi lent missouri her new jersey so what did delaware?

idaho but alaska

I thoight I saw an eye doctor when I was in Alaska

But it turned out to be an Optical Aleutian

A reporter goes to a distant town in Alaska.

First he goes by train and then he has to ride a dog sled for several hours to get there. Upon arriving, he asks the town mayor:
"Have you considered building a train station closer to the town?"
"We have," answers the mayor, "but we eventually decided that the train station should be closer to the railroad."

I dont know what land got sold to the US by Russia but my mum does...


Texas would like to opt out...

...of the 7-day free trial of Alaska...

My Alaskan sled dog was barking but no sound came out...

It turns out he was on Mala-mute

Brain f**...

Boss: Does your wife want to go skiing with my wife in North America?
Employee: Alaska?
Boss: Great, the and let me know by Monday.

What do you call your sibling's daughter that lives in Alaska?


In an attempt to create synergy, an airline and a beer company merged. It think it was a smart move for the newly formed Alaska Natural Ice.

However, I'm less optimistic about Corona Delta.

So I heard there's a group of optometrists who founded a colony on an archipelago off the coast of Alaska, but the islands themselves are very weird to look at.

They're called the Optical Aleutians.

Why did the Alaskan man name his dog Frost?

Because Frost bites.

I told my friend that my girlfriend went on holiday to the west indies.

He said "Jamaica"...
I said, "No, she went of her own accord." I then added, "For her next holiday, she's off to one of the coldest states in America."
He said "which one"
I said "Alaska".
He said, "don't bother. I'll ask her, myself."

What is the difference between a painter in Florida and a painter in Alaska?

The painter in Alaska has to put on another coat

Alaska joke, What is the difference between a painter in Florida and a painter in Alaska?

jokes about alaska