Humorous Alaska Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey, what would Delaware?
I don't know but Alaska
A guy driving through Alaska has car trouble.
He finds a garage in town, and the mechanic tells him he'll check out the car, and to go across the street to the diner and have lunch during the wait, because it will take about 30 minutes.
The guy goes to the diner, then back to the garage in a half hour, and asks the mechanic what's up.
Mechanic says, "It looks like you blew a seal."
Guy wipes his mouth and says, "No - that was just the vanilla ice cream I had for dessert."
What do you call an emotionally unstable animal who lives in alaska and vacations in antarctica?
A BIPOLAR BEAR
It gets cold in Alaska during the winter.
Juneau what I mean?
A man went hunting in Alaska.
A man was hunting in Alaska when he found himself confronted by a small, agitated bear. In order to survive, he shot it. Feeling hungry, he decided to utilize it and cook dinner in the woods.
It was tasty, even though it was a little grizzly.
Why did the fisherman want to go fishing in Alaska?
Just for the halibut.
How do Russians drive to Alaska?
By bearing straight
My mate went to Alaska and fell in love with both a male and female bear...
He's Bipolar..
Did you hear about the Alaska native that didn't like fish?
Yeah, he just wasn't inuit.
My roommate just told me he tried to walk to Russia from Alaska.
He pulled up short because he couldn't get his Bering Strait.
Why don't hipsters live in Alaska?
Everything is cool there already.
You can explore alaska south reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alaska arctic dad jokes. There are also alaska puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Culturally no one in alaska dates in the winter.
When asked why, one alaskan replied, "We try, but its hard to break the ice."
What is a Minnesotan's favorite state to vacation in?
It's Alaska, don'Juneau.
If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware?
I dunno, Alaska.
I went on a date with a woman from Alaska...
Things were going pretty well, and we sincerely enjoyed each others company. Then at the end of the night, I tried to give her an Eskimo kiss, but I guess she wasn't really Inuit.
If I want to bang an Eskimo...
Alaska
I wonder what my wife's favourite US state is.
Maybe Alaska.
What is a h**... in Alaska called?
A frostitute!
So I was talking to my Australian friend when I asked him what country his Mother was from
"Alaska"
"Okay well tell me what she says"
Alaskan said to Texan: Stop bragging....
...about how big your state is, or we'll divide Alaska in half and make you the third largest state.
Hey man, where did Julie spend her vacation?
Alaska.
- No thats okay, I'll ask her myself
If you call someone from Alaska an Alaskan, someone from Texas a Texan, and Iowa an Iowan; what do you call someone from Utah?
A m**...
What did the Alaska Native's girlfriend say when she broke up with him?
*"I'm just not that Inuit."*
People say Alaska s**... because it's all ice...
but I think it's a real solid state.
What do you get when all 50 states legalize m**...?
Baked Alaska.
If Mississippi went to Missouri for a New Jersey what did Delaware ?
Don't know, Alaska
A safari trip is a trip to the safari.
An Alaska trip is a trip to Alaska.
However, an acid trip is not a trip to acid. It's a trip to the safari in Alaska.
"What's the capital of Alaska?"
\- "Juneau".
\- "No, I don't, that's why I'm asking".
The former governor of Alaska is contributing to the manufacturing of new unmanned aircraft for the Afghanistan War.
These quadricopters are going to be named "Strikekirts", which reads the same forwards and backwards.
Why?
It's because they are Palindrones.
Being a bank guard in Alaska is tough...
Everyone wears ski masks
I have a f**... for indigenous girls. Wanted to have s**... with this girl in Alaska, but, unfortunately...
... She wasn't inuit.
Someone asked me what the largest state in the US is...
...I told them I don't know but I know a girl who might so Alaska.
On an airplane to Alaska I was talking with the man next to me about fishing the rivers.
He asked if I'd thought about protecting myself from bears.
I proudly told him about the small caliber p**... I had for protection.
The man then asked "Have you filed off the sights?"
What do you call an eye doctor living in Alaska?
An optical Aleutian.
My friend asked what my wifes obsession with North America is all about
I'm not sure, but I said Alaska.
How do you know an Alaskan girl is enjoying s**...?
She's really Inuit.
Where do l**... in Alaska go to meet up?
The Klondike Bar
Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska
There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's v**... on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.
How do Jamaica?
I don't know, Alaska
Met a native Alaskan girl the other day. I asked her if all that stuff you see on the nature shows about Alaska is true How they hunt seals and eat whale blubber. She said yeah some ppl do that stuff. I asked her why she didn't
She said she's just not that Inuit.
A blonde wanted to hang a map up in her room and put pins in everywhere she had been
After buying the map, she went to Japan. Then she went to Alaska. Then Antarctica. Then Australia. She finally went home and picked up her map.
"Now I can finally hang it up," she said.
Jean's mom came home after visiting her hometown
Maggie: Hey, where did your mom come from?
Jean: Alaska
Maggie: Don't bother, I'll ask her myself
What do you call a nudist beech in Alaska?
Frosted tips
An American and Canadian walk into a bakery
The American ordered some Baked Alaska. The Canadian, however, was having Nunavut.
You guys hear about that band from Alaska?
They are called New Block On the Kids.
My friend asked me where my female friend lived yesterday...
So I said. "I don't know. Alaska."
So I had to go to an eye doctor in Alaska
Turned out it was an optical Aleutian
Ever since my girlfriend moved to Alaska...
Shes been cold and distant.
What is the capital of Alaska?
Come on, Juneau this one!
An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.
The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:
Where were you on the night of October to April?
I once killed an adult male Grizzly bear on a ski trip in Alaska with a small serrated knife.
I had no idea grizzlies could ski or where the bear got the knife.
What does an Alaskan accountant and sociopath have in common?
They're both cold and calculating.
Car broke down in Alaska
When the tow truck arrived the driver said It appears you blew a seal
Guy said no, that's just mayonnaise, I ate a sandwich while waiting
Alaska doesn't exist
It was all an aleutian.
What do you call a s**... from Alaska?
A baked Alaskan.
I asked the half-Eskimo kid why he wanted to leave Alaska...
He said he just wasn't that Inuit.
Do you know what it's like to be a fish?
I don't, but Alaska Salmon.
TIL: A thousand years ago, a group of Native Americans tried to cross into Russia from Alaska but failed.
They couldn't get their Bering Strait.
My girlfriend left me after I said she reminded me of our dessert, a baked Alaska.
Fire hot on the outside, but ice cold on the inside. I should have just said sweet.
A guys car broke down in Alaska.
A mechanic came by to look at it and said "looks like you blew a seal" the guy replies "no thats just frost on my moustache"
Mississippi lent missouri her new jersey so what did delaware?
idaho but alaska
If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey to wear at the fair, what will Delaware?
I don't know but Alaska.
I thoight I saw an eye doctor when I was in Alaska
But it turned out to be an Optical Aleutian
"Hey man, the 49th state is pretty cute. Do you know if she's single or not?"
"I'm not sure, but Alaska."
A reporter goes to a distant town in Alaska.
First he goes by train and then he has to ride a dog sled for several hours to get there. Upon arriving, he asks the town mayor:
"Have you considered building a train station closer to the town?"
"We have," answers the mayor, "but we eventually decided that the train station should be closer to the railroad."
What food does an environmentalist hate?
Baked Alaska
I dont know what land got sold to the US by Russia but my mum does...
Alaska
Texas would like to opt out...
...of the 7-day free trial of Alaska...
My Alaskan sled dog was barking but no sound came out...
It turns out he was on Mala-mute
If Mississippi lent Missouri her New Jersey, what did Delaware?
I don't know; Alaska
Brain f**...
Boss: Does your wife want to go skiing with my wife in North America?
Employee: Alaska?
Boss: Great, the and let me know by Monday.
What do you call your sibling's daughter that lives in Alaska?
Brrr-niece
In an attempt to create synergy, an airline and a beer company merged. It think it was a smart move for the newly formed Alaska Natural Ice.
However, I'm less optimistic about Corona Delta.
So I heard there's a group of optometrists who founded a colony on an archipelago off the coast of Alaska, but the islands themselves are very weird to look at.
They're called the Optical Aleutians.
Why did the Alaskan man name his dog Frost?
Because Frost bites.
What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted
Thank you Alaska Airlines rep
I told my friend that my girlfriend went on holiday to the west indies.
He said "Jamaica"...
I said, "No, she went of her own accord." I then added, "For her next holiday, she's off to one of the coldest states in America."
He said "which one"
I said "Alaska".
He said, "don't bother. I'll ask her, myself."
What is the difference between a painter in Florida and a painter in Alaska?
The painter in Alaska has to put on another coat
I thought I saw an eye doctor in Alaska yesterday
But it was only an optical Aleutian
What did Delaware?
Idaho, Alaska.
As soon as I finish my Minnesota.
I don't know which state in the US she is
I guess Alaska
One of my friends asked me the other day if my daughter knew what the 49th state in the USA was
I have no idea I said
But Alaska
A man from northern Alaska is on trial…
The prosecutor asks in a menacing tone, Where were you in the night from October to April?
50 Jokes for 50 US States Part II
# Alaska
An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked, 'Where were you on the night of October to April?'
Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.
While sailing, I had trouble navigating the waters between Russia and Alaska.
I couldn't get my bearings straight.
