Alarm Jokes

Funniest Alarm Short Jokes

Short alarm jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alarm humour may include short alert jokes also.

1. I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was really good at it. If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
2. Dear Humans, You get mad at me when I work....You get mad at me when I don't work.
   Sincerely,
   Confused alarm clock.
3. Did you guys hear about the kid getting arrested for bringing a clock to school? Sources say that the teachers were alarmed.
4. They say you should test your fire alarm once a month... But it's costing me a fortune in houses!
5. I've been trying to find an alarm clock made out of a potato... ...ever since I had a meeting with my boss about arriving late for work and he told me "Get a potato clock".
6. My wife asked if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm
7. I invented a SJW alarm clock. It not only tells you the time, it reminds you what year it is, too.
8. I wish I knew how to turn off my carbon monoxide alarm.... It's been going off for about fifteen minutes and the noise is making really dizzy and lightheaded.
9. For his birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that swears at him instead of beeping. He's in for a rude awakening.
10. Almost every day I hear car alarms going off around the city... But never in my life have I seen a car wake up

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Alarm One Liners

Which alarm one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alarm? I can suggest the ones about anger and alley.

1. My girlfriend's such a bad cook, she uses the smoke alarm as a timer.
2. I once set an alarm to tell me when my milk would expire Spoiler alert
3. I raised the alarm at work today...
   The midgets were furious.
4. I tape microwave popcorn to the ceiling cause it's cheaper than a smoke alarm.
5. How do you know you're getting old? When you exit a museum, you trigger the alarm.
6. Why did the blonde burn to death? She couldn't find the snooze button on the smoke alarm.
7. A teenage boy is like an alarm clock Comes in handy once a day
8. I got a job installing security systems... I find it pretty alarming
9. Wanna last longer in bed? Forget to set an alarm
10. "Doctor! Doctor! I think I'm turning into a bedside clock!" "That's alarming!"
11. What do bees and celebrities have in common? They're both dying at an alarming rate.
12. Imagine if clocks would hit you back in the morning. That would be truly alarming.
13. I have an alarm in the mornimg But it's to tell me to go to sleep.
14. Daaaaamn girl! You're like a fire alarm! Really loud and annoying!
15. I slept through the alarm this morning Luckily it wasn't a big fire

Alarm Clock Jokes

Here is a list of funny alarm clock jokes and even better alarm clock puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I'm inventing an alarm clock. When it goes off, it shouts, "9-11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB!" That ought to wake people up.
• Justin Bieber.... I have recently changed the sound of my alarm clock to "Justin Bieber - Baby". Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day, so I don't have to listen to it.
• How to fall out of love with an ex-girlfriend? Set her voice as your alarm-clock ringtone.
• I just got back from the annual alarm clock convention, and I'm never going again It was a total snooze-fest
• What's the only thing that can ruin your perfect relationship with your crush? The alarm clock
• How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock? She waits until midnight and plugs it back in.
  Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.
• I'm tired of this one night stand mentality in college... I have multiple lamps and alarm clocks, I need at least two night stands.
• What is the difference between a baby and a alarm clock? You only have to hit the alarm clock once to make it be quiet...
• Rumour... I heard a rumour that a man in town is selling a fake bedside-clock.
  It's a false alarm.
• What do you call an alarm that's been muted? Clock blocked

Fire Alarm Jokes

Here is a list of funny fire alarm jokes and even better fire alarm puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Just walked past a sign that read, "This fire door is alarmed"... So I give it a little rub and told it everything is going to be ok.
• I was making a meal for a family dinner But I accidentally burnt the food
  When my family came to eat they said it was terrible
  And I replied At least the fire alarm thought it was fire
• Hey girl, are you a fire alarm? 'Cause you get triggered from the smallest of things
• I have an ability that I can leave buildings 3m before the fire alarm goes off But for some reason people call me pyromaniac
• The blind construction worker at my school accidentally pulled the fire alarm. I don't think the fire alarm was a drill.
• hey baby are you a fire alarm? because i'll only pay attention to you in an emergency
• What is Julian Assange's biggest fear? Having the fire alarm go off.
• I did a Fire Marshall course at work today Got one of test questions wrong, apparently the steps you take when hearing the fire alarm aren't great big ones.......
• My fire alarm keeps going off. I think it's because my girlfriend keeps coming in.
  She is smoking hot.
• My school had an emergency fire alarm today From what I heard, Tyrone dropped his mixtape at lunch.

Smoke Alarm Jokes

Here is a list of funny smoke alarm jokes and even better smoke alarm puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My wife asked for peace and quiet while she cooked dinner. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
• My psychology professor asked for an example of a "Pavlovian Response". I said that thanks to my Mom's cooking, I salivate when I hear a smoke alarm.
• Congratulations to my wife! who reached a new culinary milestone today by setting off the neighbors' smoke alarm!
• My cooking is so awesome... ...even my smoke alarm cheers me on!
• Some people need to check their smoke alarms once a month. Those people are probably better cooks than me.
• Today Australia has a new Prime Minister So it must be time to change the batteries in your smoke alarm

Security Alarm Jokes

Here is a list of funny security alarm jokes and even better security alarm puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you hear about the husband who found that his wife had run off with the man who installed their security system? He became quite alarmed
• I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was really good at it.
• How much does Nicki Minaj sell security devices for? Pound an alarm

Laughter Alarm Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about alarm you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean armor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alarm pranks.