Alan Jokes

77 alan jokes and hilarious alan puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about alan that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Delve into the hilarious world of Alan Jokes. From Alan Partridge to Alan Sugar, we explore the hilarious quips of classic British comedy. Find the funniest Alan Partridge cone jokes and see why Alan Watts and Pamela or Bruce from Bourne are so often the butt of these jokes.

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Funniest Alan Short Jokes

Short alan jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The alan humour may include short alan rickman jokes also.

  1. Everyone knows Alan Turing who cracked Enigma codes. But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time.
  2. "Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?" "Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
    "Thanks dad !"
    "No problem Alan"
  3. Everybody knows Alan Turing who cracked the enigma codes But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks
  4. Son: why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
    Son: Thanks dad
    Dad: No problem Alan
  5. Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa? Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.
    Son: Thanks dad.
    Dad: No problem Alan.
  6. Me: Why is my sister's name Teresa? Dad: because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram for Easter.
    Me: Thanks, dad.
    Dad: no problem, Alan.
  7. A White Horse Walks Into a Bar A white horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we've got a cocktail named after you!". "What?", says the horse, "Steve?".
    \-heard from Alan Davies on Q.I.
  8. Hey dad, why is my sisters name Teresa? Your mother named her after her love for Easter, and when you rearrange the letters you get Easter.
    Alright, thanks dad..
    No problem Alan!
  9. Dad... "Dad, why is my sister Teresa called Teresa?"
    "Well, son, your mum loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter and so we named her Teresa"
    "Thanks, Dad."
    "No problem, Alan"
  10. Son: Mom, why is my sister called Teresa? Mom: Because Teresa is an Anagram of Easter and we love Easter!
    Son: Oh I see. Thanks mom!
    Mom: My pleasure Alan.

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Alan One Liners

Which alan one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with alan? I can suggest the ones about cove and named.

  1. What does a dyslexic gay guy love most? Alan.
  2. Alan and Philip sit down at the bar Bar tender asks what can I get you tools?
  3. Did you hear about the gay dyslexic? He loves Alan
  4. What is the speciality of Alan Turing? He was homogeneous
  5. Alan Walker was already a millionaire when he was 19 Where are you now
  6. What did Alan Turing call his cat? A purring machine.
  7. What us orange and sounds like a parrot? 'A carrot'
    Re: Alan Davies.
  8. How would you describe Alan Turing in one word? Homogenous
  9. What do Princes Diana and Alan Turing have in common? A halting problem.
  10. What did Alan Sugar say to the old owner of Harrods?? You're Fayed!
  11. Who is the most useful man? Alan Key
  12. What do you get when you put Alan Alda in a Jaws film? MASH
  13. What will Steve the Pirate (Alan Tudyk) say 34 years from today? Aye matey!
  14. What do Florence Henderson and Alan Thicke want for Christmas? Betty White!
  15. Kirk Cameron is left behind. Now that Alan Thicke is gone.

Alan Rickman Jokes

Here is a list of funny alan rickman jokes and even better alan rickman puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did Alan Rickman say when he stood over David Bowie's grave? Do you mind if I Slytherin?
  • The curse of being 69 years old. David Bowie was 69 years old.
    Alan Rickman was 69 years old.
    Donald Trump is 69 years old.
    Coincidence? I think not!
  • Alan Rickman's grave was prepared many days ago... ... They've just been waiting for him to slither-in.
  • What do Alan Rickman and David Bowie have in common? They have both died recently.
  • I found Alan Rickman in the grocery store yesterday... Jk
  • Have you seen Alan Rickman's newest movie? He's billed as Alan Rickgamortis
  • Alan Rickman dies at the age of 69 That sure was a long fall
  • What comes after 69? Neither Alan Rickman nor David Bowie
  • Alan Rickman has passed away. He was going through a bad spell.
  • Alan Rickman's Obituary Please turn to Page 394.

Alan Turing Jokes

Here is a list of funny alan turing jokes and even better alan turing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why was Alan Turing fired from the department store? He was unable to compute whether or not any given top was a halter top.
  • If Alan Turing was milk what would he be? Homogeneous.
  • What is Alan Turing's favorite type of equation? Homogenius
  • What did the f**... director do with Alan Turing's dead body? He encrypted it
  • What do Alan Turing and a well-mixed solution have in common? They're both h**...-genius.
  • Alan Turing was so gay it was i**...
Alan joke, Alan Turing was so gay it was i**...

Alan joke, Alan Turing was so gay it was i**...

Cheeky Alan Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about alan you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean martin jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make alan pranks.

A dog goes into a hardware store...

...and says: I'd like a job please . The hardware store owner says: We don't hire talking dogs, why don't you go join the circus? The dog replies: What would the circus want with a plumber .
-Steven Alan Green

I'm on holiday visiting the math dept. at Univ. of Manchester, England.

I guess I'm an Alan Turist.

You have to wonder about a country where the bombs

... are smarter than the high school graduates. At least the bombs can find Iraq on the maps.
(quote by
Alan Whitney Brown of SNL fame)

Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price, and heavier than Alan Price

I learned this on a price comparison site.

Son : Why's my sister called Teresa?

Dad : Cause your mom and I love Easter, it's an anagram
Son : Oh wow that's pretty cool
Dad : I know Alan

A son ask his mother and his aunt Lana about his sister's name

Mom, why is my sister's name Cameron?"
"Well, son, your father loves romance, and Cameron is an anagram of romance. So we called her Cameron."
"Oh, that makes sense. Thanks, Mom!"
"No problem, Alan."

What do dyslexic g**... love?


2 cannibals Greg and Alan

Greg and Alan start eating their fresh kill, Greg starts at the head and Alan starts at the feet.
About 15 minutes into dinner Greg, eating the head still, asks the Alan how he is doing
Alan replies "I'm having a ball Greg."
Greg says "slow down your eating too fast."

Dad, why did you name my sister Teresa?

Dad: because your mother loves Easter, it's an anagram.
Son: oh, okay thanks
Dad: your welcome Alan.

Son:Dad, why is my sister's name "Amy"?

Son: Dad, why is my sister's name "Amy"?
Dad: Because its an anagram for "May", the favorite month of your mother.
Son: Thanks for the help ,dad.
Dad: No problem, Alan.

A boy is talking to his father

"Dad," he asks, "why is my sister named Teresa?"
"Well son," replies his father, "your mother loves Easter, and I'm a fan of anagrams, so we combined both."
"Aw, that's really nice, thanks dad."
"No problem, Alan."

son: How did you choose the name Teresa for my sister?

Well it's an anagram for Easter which your mother loves dearly.
Thanks for clarifying Dad.
No problem, Alan.


Son : Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?
Dad: Because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram for Easter.
Son: Thanks for the explanation Dad!
Dad: You are welcome, Alan!

"Dad, why's my brother named Cameron?"

"Because your mother loves romance and it's an anagram."
"Thanks dad."
"Sure thing Alan."

A little boy asks his Dad.....

"Dad. Why is my sister called Teresa?"
"Well, son. Your mother loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter."
"Oh, I see! Thanks, Dad!"
"No problem, Alan!"

"Hey dad, why did you name my sister Teresa?"

"Because Teresa is an anagram of Easter, and your mother really loves Easter."
"Thanks, dad."
"No worries, Alan."

Dad, why is my sister called Teresa?

Well son, your mum really really loves Easter, and Teresa is an anagram of Easter
Thanks Dad
You're welcome Alan

Help! My husband keeps pressuring me to try Alan.

Also, how do I turn off predictive text?

Son: Why is my sister called Teresa?

Father: Because your mother loves Easter. It's an anagram.
Son: Oh right, thanks Dad
Father: No problem, Alan

Mum loves Easter

Dad why is my baby sister called Teresa?
Well son it's an anagram of Easter, and we know how much your mum loves Easter.
Gee thanks dad.
Your welcome Alan

My mom always wanted to name her kids with the 4 same letters. There's my two sisters Lana and Nala, and then there's me...


A boy asked his father "Why is my sister named Theresa?" "Because your mother loves Easter and Theresa is an anagram." "Thanks dad."

"Your welcome Alan."

My parents named me and my sister after anagrams of things they love most...

So my sister is Teresa because they love Easter, still not worked out why I'm called Alan.

Son: Why is my sister called Teresa?

**Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram**
**Son: Thanks dad**
**Dad: No problem Alan**

What's the most underrated joke you've heard in a movie?

Mine is from The Hangover:
Alan: I can't afford to lose somebody close to me again, it hurts too much. I was so upset when my grandpa died.
Phil: How'd he die?
Alan: World War II.
Phil: Died in battle?
Alan: No, he was skiing in Vermont, it was just during World War II.

Did Alanis Morissette ever get her cross-eyed-bear back?

You oughtta know it really wasn't fair to deny her of the cross-eyed-bear that you gave to her.

Alan joke, Son: why is my sister called Teresa?

jokes about alan