The Best 53 Alan Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Alan jokes. There are some alan thicke jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these alan danny puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Alan Jokes and Puns
"Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?"
"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
"Thanks dad !"
"No problem Alan"
Alan complained that that he met too many of the gays on holiday...
...so he returned home, along with his boyfriend.
What do Alan Turing and a well-mixed solution have in common?
They're both homo-genius.
A dog goes into a hardware store...
...and says: I'd like a job please . The hardware store owner says: We don't hire talking dogs, why don't you go join the circus? The dog replies: What would the circus want with a plumber .
-Steven Alan Green
I'm on holiday visiting the math dept. at Univ. of Manchester, England.
I guess I'm an Alan Turist.
What is the speciality of Alan Turing?
He was homogeneous
What did Alan Rickman say when he stood over David Bowie's grave?
Do you mind if I Slytherin?
It's actually pretty convenient the Alan Rickman died so soon after David Bowie.
You can just move your lightning bolt up a few inches for the funeral and fit right in.
The curse of being 69 years old.
David Bowie was 69 years old.
Alan Rickman was 69 years old.
Donald Trump is 69 years old.
Coincidence? I think not!
What did the funeral director do with Alan Turing's dead body?
He encrypted it
The least sneaky person I've met is Alan Glasscock...
You could always see him coming.
You can explore alan bourne reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alan darren dad jokes. There are also alan puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do Florence Henderson and Alan Thicke want for Christmas?
Betty White!
You have to wonder about a country where the bombs
... are smarter than the high school graduates. At least the bombs can find Iraq on the maps.
(quote by
Alan Whitney Brown of SNL fame)
A teacher asked her third grade class to
name things that ended with tor that eat things.
The first little boy said, Alligator.
Very good James, that's a big word.
The second boy said, Predator.
Yes, that's another big word Alan. Very well done.
Little Johnny says, Vibrator.
After nearly falling off her chair, she says, That is a big word Johnny, but it doesn't eat anything.
Well my mother has one and she says it eats frickin' batteries like there's no tomorrow!
What do you get when you put Alan Alda in a Jaws film?
MASH
Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price, and heavier than Alan Price
I learned this on a price comparison site.
Son : Why's my sister called Teresa?
Dad : Cause your mom and I love Easter, it's an anagram
Son : Oh wow that's pretty cool
Dad : I know Alan
A son ask his mother and his aunt Lana about his sister's name
Mom, why is my sister's name Cameron?"
"Well, son, your father loves romance, and Cameron is an anagram of romance. So we called her Cameron."
"Oh, that makes sense. Thanks, Mom!"
"No problem, Alan."
To say Alanis Morrisette may never have another hit song
Is a jagged little pill to swallow....
Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?
Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.
Son: Thanks dad.
Dad: No problem Alan.
What are Captain Kirk's least favorite 1970's prog-rock bands?
It's a tossup between the alan parsons PROJECT and GENESIS.
What did Alan Turing call his cat?
A purring machine.
What do dyslexic gays love?
Alan
2 cannibals Greg and Alan
Greg and Alan start eating their fresh kill, Greg starts at the head and Alan starts at the feet.
About 15 minutes into dinner Greg, eating the head still, asks the Alan how he is doing
Alan replies "I'm having a ball Greg."
Greg says "slow down your eating too fast."
Dad, why did you name my sister Teresa?
Dad: because your mother loves Easter, it's an anagram.
Son: oh, okay thanks
Dad: your welcome Alan.
What does a dyslexic gay guy love most?
Alan.
Son:Dad, why is my sister's name "Amy"?
Son: Dad, why is my sister's name "Amy"?
Dad: Because its an anagram for "May", the favorite month of your mother.
Son: Thanks for the help ,dad.
Dad: No problem, Alan.
Q. Dad, why did you name my sister "Teresa"?
A. Well, son, "Teresa" is an anagram of "Easter", and Easter is your mother's favorite holiday. Why do you ask, Alan?
Happy Easter, everyone.
Alan and Philip sit down at the bar
Bar tender asks what can I get you tools?
How would you describe Alan Turing in one word?
Homogenous
Son: Mom, why is my sister called Teresa?
Mom: Because Teresa is an Anagram of Easter and we love Easter!
Son: Oh I see. Thanks mom!
Mom: My pleasure Alan.
Do you know what's better than Alan one-dick?
Alan Tu-dyk...
(*bah-dum-tish*)
A boy is talking to his father
"Dad," he asks, "why is my sister named Teresa?"
"Well son," replies his father, "your mother loves Easter, and I'm a fan of anagrams, so we combined both."
"Aw, that's really nice, thanks dad."
"No problem, Alan."
Alan Walker was already a millionaire when he was 19
Where are you now
"Video games bring out the worst in our children," states politician.
"I disagree with that," says Alan, known on Xbox Live as SpunkMonkey2000
Dad...
"Dad, why is my sister Teresa called Teresa?"
"Well, son, your mum loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter and so we named her Teresa"
"Thanks, Dad."
"No problem, Alan"
What's Alanis Morissette's favorite animal?
You otter know.
Did you hear about the gay dyslexic?
He loves Alan
son: How did you choose the name Teresa for my sister?
Well it's an anagram for Easter which your mother loves dearly.
Thanks for clarifying Dad.
No problem, Alan.
What do Princes Diana and Alan Turing have in common?
A halting problem.
If I were a radio host
And now a song for my dear friend Alan that is sitting on his couch masturbating furiously.
This is Michael Jackson's «Beat IT»
Anagram
Son : Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?
Dad: Because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram for Easter.
Son: Thanks for the explanation Dad!
Dad: You are welcome, Alan!
What us orange and sounds like a parrot?
'A carrot'
Re: Alan Davies.
"Dad, why's my brother named Cameron?"
"Because your mother loves romance and it's an anagram."
"Thanks dad."
"Sure thing Alan."
A boy runs up to his dad and says "Why did you call my sister Teresa?"
"Well son, you see Easter is your mum's favourite thing and it's an anagram. Why do you ask Alan?"
A little boy asks his Dad.....
"Dad. Why is my sister called Teresa?"
"Well, son. Your mother loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter."
"Oh, I see! Thanks, Dad!"
"No problem, Alan!"
"Hey dad, why did you name my sister Teresa?"
"Because Teresa is an anagram of Easter, and your mother really loves Easter."
"Thanks, dad."
"No worries, Alan."
Everyone knows Alan Turing who cracked Enigma codes.
But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time.
Dad, why is my sister called Teresa?
Well son, your mum really really loves Easter, and Teresa is an anagram of Easter
Thanks Dad
You're welcome Alan
Everybody knows Alan Turing who cracked the enigma codes
But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks
Help! My husband keeps pressuring me to try Alan.
Also, how do I turn off predictive text?
Me: Why is my sister's name Teresa?
Dad: because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram for Easter.
Me: Thanks, dad.
Dad: no problem, Alan.
Son: Why is my sister called Teresa?
Father: Because your mother loves Easter. It's an anagram.
Son: Oh right, thanks Dad
Father: No problem, Alan
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alan richard jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working alan kerr piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.