alamo Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious alamo puns

Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo?

They only had 2 vans

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Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

They only had 2 trucks

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Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers?

they only had one pickup

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Always remeber the Alamo

An Englishman,
Frenchman,
Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive "
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen " and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France " and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers
"Remember the Alamo " and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane."

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Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at The Alamo?

They only had 4 cars.

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A Brit, Mexican, and a Texan are all on a carrier plane heading towards battle.

A Brit, Mexican, and a Texan are all on a carrier plane heading towards battle. The pilot over coms says

"There is to much wait on the plane, someone will have to jump off"

The Brit then goes to the exit of the plane and says,
"For the Queen!"
He then jumps off.

The pilot says
"We are still to heavy, one more person has to jump off"

So the Texan screams "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!"
Then trows the Mexican off.

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I couldn't recall where I had rented my car from...

...but then I remembered the Alamo

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Why were there only 7,500 Mexican's at the Alamo?

They only had four trucks

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There was a...

...Englishman, a Frenchman, an Indian, a Mexican, and a Texan in the Airborne. The Englishman yells, Long live the Queen! and jumps out. The Frenchman yells, Viva la France! and jumps out. The Indian yells, Geronimo! and jumps out. The Texan then yells, Remember the Alamo! and pushes the Mexican out.

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Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the battle of the Alamo?

They only had 4 trucks.

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A joke that is mildly racist

How.come there were only 1800 Mexicans at the Alamo?

Because they only had two pickup trucks

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Why were there 600 Mexicans at the Alamo?

They only had 2 cars.

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Why did 5000 Mexicans show up to fight at the Alamo?

They only had two cars.

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A Mexican, Texan, a Brit, and a Spaniard are on a plane...

A Mexican, Texan, a Brit, and a Spaniard are on a plane, and suddenly the pilot says, "We are crashing, but I will be able to land if 3 of you somehow get off." The 4 people look at each other, doubting anyone will jump. Then, the Brit jumps out, yelling, "Save the Queen!" The Spaniard then jumps out yelling, "Viva la Vida!" The Texan, in shock of what he saw, is swelling with pride, and yells, "Remember the Alamo!" and throws the Mexican off the plane.

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Why did the Mexican . . .

Why did the Mexican take Xanax?

- For Hispanic attacks

Why did the Mexican Army invade the Alamo with only 5,000 troops?

- Because they only had two vans

Why did the Mexican train driver kill all his passengers?

- No one knows! He must have had a locomotive

Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?

- Tequila

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This one's mainly for Mexicans and Texans.

What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?



"Davey.... are we pouring concrete today??"

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A Japanese man, a British man, an American man, and a Mexican man go skydiving together...

A Japanese man, a British man, an American man, and a Mexican man go skydiving together. As they reach the intended height, the intructor says, "One by one, strap on your parachutes and jump out." The Japanese man gets up, straps on his parachute, and jumps out, yelling "Remember the Emperor!" Next, the British man gets up, straps on his parachute, and jumps out, yelling "Remember the Queen!" Then the American man gets up, grabs the Mexican man up out of his seat, and tosses him out of the plane, yelling "Remember the Alamo!"

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The Alamo

Davy Crocket and Daniel Boone were talking at the Alamo one day when Davy looks up. On the ridge coming over the hill were a shit load of Mexicans. Davy says, "I didn't know we were pouring concrete today."

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What did Davey Crocket say at the Alamo?

"Where'd all the roofers come from?"

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What did Davy Crockett say when he looked over The Alamo wall and saw 5,000 Mexican Soldiers?

"Who the hell ordered a new roof?"

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At The Alamo

So Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie were standing above the gates of the Alamo. When they looked down they saw 30,000 angry Mexicans out on the field.


Confused, Davy looks over at Jim and says, "Damn dude, just how much concrete did you order?"

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Why were there only 3 thousand Mexicans at the Alamo

They could only find three minivans

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9/11 was too main-stream for hippies

That's why they never forget the Alamo.

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Why did the Mexicans only bring 5000 people to the Alamo?

They only had two vans

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Remember the Alamo!

If you need to rent a car

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Senator John McCain is Pro-Mexican Deportation and Pro-Trump Wall.

He hates the Mexicans because of what they did to him and his men at the Alamo.

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I just visited The Alamo.

It was a fine trip, but forgettable.

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Jack - The toughest Cowboy of them all

Three cowboys, Ray, Clermont and Jack where sitting round a fire after a long day...

The first one, Ray, started telling stories to the other two about how he was the toughest cowboy ever.

The second, Clermont, disagreed, and started to tell even bigger stories about how he was the toughest cowboy since the Alamo.

Jack just sat there, by the fire, patiently stirring the coals with his penis......

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Inside the Alamo, Davy Crockett got up from his cot, walked across the dusty dirt floor to the ladder, and climbed to the roof. There, he found Sam Houston and Jim Bowie staring off in the distance...

...as over the hills rode straight toward them a thousand Mexicans. Davy thought for a moment and then said, "Guys...are we laying concrete today?"

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A Mexican, a Russian, and a Texan sitting at a bar

The Mexican has a bottle of tequila and says "in Mexico there is plenty of tequila" takes a big swig out of the bottle and throws it in the air and shoots the bottle. The Russian sitting next to him hears him and says " in mother russia we have plenty of vodka" takes a swig out of his bottle of vodka and throws it in the air and shoots it. The Texan sees this and is drinking an Alamo beer. So he says" in Texas we have plenty of beer." Takes a drink and shoots the Mexican and says "but in Texas we have plenty of Mexicans i tell you h'wut"

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Why were there only 1,000 Mexicans at the Alamo?

they only had 2 trucks

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Why did the Mexicans keep going back to the Alamo?

The Texans kept beating them off.

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Damn! I forgot to watch the Alamo Bowl!

How ironic is that?

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Why were there only 2000 Mexicans at the battle of the Alamo?

They only had 2 trucks.

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What does the Alamo have for dinner?

Left-over Mexican

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What are the most funny Alamo jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Alamo? Well, here are the best Alamo dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Alamo pick up lines to share with friends.

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