Alamo Jokes

Following is our collection of boone humor and sinko one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Alamo puns for adults, dirty dallas jokes or clean juan gags for kids.

There is an abundance of texas jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 25 funniest jokes on alamo. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any davy witze you can hear about alamo.

The Best jokes about Alamo

Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo?

They only had 2 vans

Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

They only had 2 trucks

Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers?

they only had one pickup

Always remeber the Alamo

An Englishman,
Frenchman,
Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive "
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen " and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France " and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers
"Remember the Alamo " and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane."

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at The Alamo?

They only had 4 cars.


A Brit, Mexican, and a Texan are all on a carrier plane heading towards battle.

A Brit, Mexican, and a Texan are all on a carrier plane heading towards battle. The pilot over coms says

"There is to much wait on the plane, someone will have to jump off"

The Brit then goes to the exit of the plane and says,
"For the Queen!"
He then jumps off.

The pilot says
"We are still to heavy, one more person has to jump off"

So the Texan screams "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!"
Then trows the Mexican off.

I couldn't recall where I had rented my car from...

...but then I remembered the Alamo

Why were there only 7,500 Mexican's at the Alamo?

They only had four trucks

There was a...

...Englishman, a Frenchman, an Indian, a Mexican, and a Texan in the Airborne. The Englishman yells, Long live the Queen! and jumps out. The Frenchman yells, Viva la France! and jumps out. The Indian yells, Geronimo! and jumps out. The Texan then yells, Remember the Alamo! and pushes the Mexican out.

A joke that is mildly racist

How.come there were only 1800 Mexicans at the Alamo?

Because they only had two pickup trucks

Why did 5000 Mexicans show up to fight at the Alamo?

They only had two cars.


A Mexican, Texan, a Brit, and a Spaniard are on a plane...

A Mexican, Texan, a Brit, and a Spaniard are on a plane, and suddenly the pilot says, "We are crashing, but I will be able to land if 3 of you somehow get off." The 4 people look at each other, doubting anyone will jump. Then, the Brit jumps out, yelling, "Save the Queen!" The Spaniard then jumps out yelling, "Viva la Vida!" The Texan, in shock of what he saw, is swelling with pride, and yells, "Remember the Alamo!" and throws the Mexican off the plane.

Why did the Mexican . . .

Why did the Mexican take Xanax?

- For Hispanic attacks

Why did the Mexican Army invade the Alamo with only 5,000 troops?

- Because they only had two vans

Why did the Mexican train driver kill all his passengers?

- No one knows! He must have had a locomotive

Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?

- Tequila

This one's mainly for Mexicans and Texans.

What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?



"Davey.... are we pouring concrete today??"

A Japanese man, a British man, an American man, and a Mexican man go skydiving together...

A Japanese man, a British man, an American man, and a Mexican man go skydiving together. As they reach the intended height, the intructor says, "One by one, strap on your parachutes and jump out." The Japanese man gets up, straps on his parachute, and jumps out, yelling "Remember the Emperor!" Next, the British man gets up, straps on his parachute, and jumps out, yelling "Remember the Queen!" Then the American man gets up, grabs the Mexican man up out of his seat, and tosses him out of the plane, yelling "Remember the Alamo!"

What did Davey Crocket say at the Alamo?

"Where'd all the roofers come from?"

9/11 was too main-stream for hippies

That's why they never forget the Alamo.

Why did the Mexicans only bring 5000 people to the Alamo?

They only had two vans

Why were there only 3 thousand Mexicans at the Alamo

They could only find three minivans


Remember the Alamo!

If you need to rent a car

Senator John McCain is Pro-Mexican Deportation and Pro-Trump Wall.

He hates the Mexicans because of what they did to him and his men at the Alamo.

I just visited The Alamo.

It was a fine trip, but forgettable.

As we begin the holiday season, remember...

The Alamo

Inside the Alamo, Davy Crockett got up from his cot, walked across the dusty dirt floor to the ladder, and climbed to the roof. There, he found Sam Houston and Jim Bowie staring off in the distance...

...as over the hills rode straight toward them a thousand Mexicans. Davy thought for a moment and then said, "Guys...are we laying concrete today?"

A Mexican, a Russian, and a Texan sitting at a bar

The Mexican has a bottle of tequila and says "in Mexico there is plenty of tequila" takes a big swig out of the bottle and throws it in the air and shoots the bottle. The Russian sitting next to him hears him and says " in mother russia we have plenty of vodka" takes a swig out of his bottle of vodka and throws it in the air and shoots it. The Texan sees this and is drinking an Alamo beer. So he says" in Texas we have plenty of beer." Takes a drink and shoots the Mexican and says "but in Texas we have plenty of Mexicans i tell you h'wut"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes