aladdin Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious aladdin puns

Aladdin Banned from Flying Carpet Racing

Sources say for use of Performance Enhancing Rugs


What was Aladdin called after he went Vegan?



Why was Aladdin disqualified from the Rio Olympics?

He was on performance-enhancing rugs.


Jasmine tried to attend a "Disney Prince Only" gathering

She wasn't Aladdin.


The Forgotten Pick-Up Line

A man walks up to an attractive woman at a bar and begins to tell her a story.

"The other day, I was walking through the park, when something unexpected bumped against my shoe," he says.

The girl is intrigued. "Well, what was it?" she asks.

"It was a magic lamp," the man says. "I rubbed it, and a genie came out. He said, 'I'll grant you one wish, but this isn't like Aladdin. You don't get to choose your wish. I'll give you two options, and you have to pick one.'"

"What were the choices?"

"The genie said I could have either a flawless memory, or a giant dick."

The girl thinks for a moment. "Wow. Which did you pick?"

"I don't remember."


What kind of car would Aladdin drive?

A lamborGENIE.


Why was Aladdin never constipated?

Because wherever he went, he always took Apu.


What did Aladdin sing when he saw Israel for the first time?

A whole Jew world.


Apparently it's inappropriate for a group of white kids to put on a play of Aladdin, as it is racially insensitive and cultural appropriation. Possibly white washing.

I wonder if we'll see more Jews in Nativity Pageants come Christmas season this year.


If Aladdin taught me anything about sex, it would be... always rub one out before you go meet the girl.


Why did Aladdin have a shoe on his crotch?

Because he told the Genie he wanted his penis to grow a foot.


Why does Aladdin travel on a magic carpet?

He's on the no fly list.


BEST CHRISTMAS JOKE I EVER MADE: A lucky old man found Aladdin magic lamp in his attic!!

A lucky 95 year old grandpa found Alaadin magic lamp in his attic. After he touched it, a genie came out and said, "since it Christmas time, you may ask ONLY ONE wish." Grandpa thought for a bit and said: oh ya, can you build me a bridge from the NY city to London, across the atlantic. Genie replied, "come on grandpa, that's a hassle for me, and it is cold in the Atlantic now, pick an easier wish."

Grandpa paused for a second and said.. Oh ya! Can you make my wife young and hot like those TV supermodels. Genie replied: "Of course! that's a super easy task. How old is your wife?" Grandpa replied, "90, and here is a picture of her now!" Genie replied, "Awesome!!! Would you like the bridge one lane or two lanes?"


Actress: I want to be in the Aladdin remake.

Harvey Weinstein: All you have to do is rub my lamp.


The Lion King and Aladdin are in a race, who wins?

You might think it's Aladdin because of his magic carpet, but it was the lion king.

The lion king Mufasa.


Flying carpet

So I was walking by a council flat the other day when I saw this Arab guy shaking a carpet.

I shouted up, "what's wrong Aladdin, won't it start?."


Why was there never an Aladdin 4?

Because he kept on rubbing the wrong lamp.


What do you call someone in an Aladdin costume?

A-lad-in a costume.


Did you hear that Will Smith is gonna be the genie in live action Aladdin

They couldn't recast Robin William's he left the agents that called him **hanging**.


Me: watching Aladdin, I wish I had a magic carpet

Somewhere in India: a monkeys paw closes one finger...


Aladdin sings to Jasmine

"I can show you the woorld..
Except the United States"


What pet does Aladdin have?

A magic car-pet


What do Joseph Stalin and Aladdin have in common?

They're both one step ahead of the breadline.


The song that was removed from Disney's Aladdin...

"Prince Ali,

Praise onto he,

Ali-hu Akbar."


How did Aladdin die?

Carpet bombing.


Did you hear the one about the genie?

I guess Aladdin really did set him free.



Just like that, I saw Aladdin on-a-mat-appear.


I run an amateur dramatic society. Someone approached me recently wanting to do an all dwarf version of the pantomime "Aladdin".

The concept is a little wishy-washy.


A priest took a group of kids to a new Disney movie

"Aladdin Me"


What are the most funny Aladdin jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Aladdin? Well, here are the best Aladdin dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Aladdin pick up lines to share with friends.


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