The Best 91 Alabama Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Alabama jokes. There are some alabama tennessee jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these alabama alabama tide puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Alabama Jokes and Puns

CSI Alabama was a failure . . .

. . . all of the DNA is too similar and there are no dental records.

KKK Pastor

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Alabama?

Everyone has the same DNA.

Alabama joke, Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Alabama?

You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Alabama

if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teeth brush.

Alabama VS. Mississippi

A man lived in Alabama. He moved to Mississippi. He raised the IQ in both states.


A police officer in Alabama finds...

...a black man with his arms and legs chopped off. He reports "the worst case of suicide he's ever seen."

Taxidermist walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"

"No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"

"I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."

The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"

Alabama joke, Taxidermist walks into a bar...

What do maggots and Alabama fans have in common?

They can both live off a dead bear for years.

What do you get when you put 28 Alabama Sorority girls in one room?

A full set of teeth

Why did all the students from Alabama skip the archaeology lecture?

They were already experts in relative dating.

Congratulations to Alabama for making same sex marriage legal

Now the men can finally marry their brothers

You can explore alabama alabaman reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean alabama redneck dad jokes. There are also alabama puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do University of Alabama graduates place their diplomas on their rear-view mirrors?

So they can park in handicap spots.

What does the average Alabama football player get on his SATs?

Drool

I asked my 32 year old friend from Alabama why he's still a virgin.

He said "I was an only child"

Why is Alabama the worlds biggest sandwich?

Because the whole state is inbred

A girl from Alabama asked me if I found her attractive.

I said, "You've got a face only a brother could love."

Alabama joke, A girl from Alabama asked me if I found her attractive.

How do dating sites in Alabama save money?

They link to Ancestry.com

Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?

Otherwise it would have been called a teethbrush.

Gay Marriage Licenses

So, 22 counties in Alabama are refusing to issue gay marriage licenses on the grounds that they believe in the traditional marriage of a man and his sister.


Alabama changed the drinking age to 34

They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools

What did the Alabama Police officer call the black guy who had been shot 6 times in the head?

The worst case of suicide he ever saw

Black Guy shot 15 times by the Alabama Police

Worst case of suicide they had ever seen.

What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man with 20 bullet holes in his back?

The worst case of suicide he's ever seen.

Why are Alabama weddings so small?

They've only gotta invite one family

Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama...

Couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

What does an Alabama prostitute give her family?

A discount!

Why doesn't Alabama have calculus teachers.

They don't like integration.

Why are cats and daughters equal in Alabama?

They both lick their paw.

Saw a headline that started with "45% of Alabama GOP voters think" ...

... and I stopped reading because that part was surprising enough.

What is the similarity between a tornado in Alabama, and a divorce in Alabama?

No matter how you look at it, somebody is losing a trailer.

Why are Alabama weddings so small?

Because you only need to invite one family.

My crush told me that I was like a brother to her while we were in the car...

We were driving to New York at the time, and about halfway up the east coast she told me I was like a brother to her. She was surprised when I proceeded to turn the car around and drive the other way without even acting phased. She asked "where are we going now?" My only answer was "Alabama."

What is 20ft long and has 5 teeth?

The funnel cake line at the Alabama state fair

What's worse than your wife cheating on you with your brother?

Your wife cheating on you with her brother.

Source: am from Alabama.

In Alabama, when served rolls, they never serve the butter on the side.

Because they like it inbread.

I'm going to open a strip club in Alabama...

I'm going to name it Cousins.

What do you call an Alabama girl who can run faster than her brothers?

A virgin.

Turns out that Roy Moore is having a bad influence on weather in Alabama.

The temperatures are flirting with the teens this week.

What do you call a creepy old guy who hangs out at malls, and has sex with under age teens?

In Alabama, your Honor, but soon it will be "Senator".

I really don't think Roy Moore will win the Alabama Senate election.

He'll probably come in a little behind.

Roy Moore says he'll bring Alabama values to Washington, but I'm not so sure. I mean, he sexually assaulted teenage girls...

But he wasn't related to any of 'em!

I sure hope Roy Moore wins today

Alabama needs a congressman who isn't afraid to get his hands on the issues before they get too big.

Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race.

He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.

An Alabaman is finding his ancestry on a website, but can't get to their site...

Getting frustrated, he calls his wife over.

Sighing, she says, "It starts with an A, not an I, bro."

Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Election

It's almost as if he doesn't understand that no means no!

Alabama.

Where Ancestry and eHarmony are the same website.

What did the Alabama sherriff say about the black guy with 17 bullet holes in his back?

He said it was the worse case of suicide he's ever seen

Why can't they make CSI: Alabama?

Because all the DNA is the same

In their biology class, students are given an activity that introduces them to relative dating...

One Student: "Relative Dating? This isn't Alabama!"

Many surnames come from the job people's ancestors used to have. For example, the Smith family were related to a smith, the Baker family were related to a baker and then there's the Dickinson family...

Who were related to people from Alabama.

Y'know, I was feeling sad after my crush told me that she liked me as a brother,

But then I realized that she was from Alabama.

You're in the Army Now

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a South Alabama man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

Yesterday my crush told me that I was like a brother to her I was sad at first then I remember

She was from Alabama

I'm surprised the University of Alabama doesn't offer a major in archaeology.

I heard they are really into relative dating out there.

What's the most popular first date spot in Alabama?

Olive Garden: when you're here, you're family.

Why did the Alabama man marry his third cousin?

Because the first two weren't good in bed

Who's your daddy?

A roleplay exercise in Alabama, a serious question in Detroit.

Why we don't do reverse cowgirl in Alabama.

Down here in Alabama we don't ever do "Reverse Cowgirl". Because we never turn our back on family!

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama?

Because you should never turn your back on your family.

What's the difference between sandwich meat and people from Alabama?

Nothing, they're both inbred.

What sex position is banned in Alabama?

Doggy style.

Never turn your back on family.

What do you get when you remove the Y from analysis.

Alabama

What do people from Alabama have in common with yeast?

They're both in bread

Alabama is canceling home schooling.

Apparently too many teachers were having sex with the students.

A man is visiting friends in Alabama and decides he's needs a drink so he goes to a local bar

He walks in and orders a glass of wine. Everyone sitting around the bar looks up expecting to see a flamboyant yankee. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks you ain't from around here are you?

No sir, He says, I'm from Minnesota

What the hell do you do in Minnesota the bartender asks.

Im a taxidermist! The man replies.

What the hell is that!? The bartender asks.

The guy says nervously I umm, mount dead animals

The bartender smiles and shouts out to the whole bar it's ok fellas, he's one of us!

Why are murders so hard to solve in Alabama?

There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

My friend in Alabama lost his Mom, his Sister, and his Wife in a car accident.

He really loved that woman.

Why does no one do the reverse cowgirl position in alabama?

Because you never turn your back on family

What's an Alabama girls favorite game?

Smash Bros!

What's Alabama like?

My new company owner is from there. Seems friendly, he said he's going to treat us employees like we was family?

why is DNA evidence not permissible in Alabama court?

because its all the same anyway

How do you circumcise a guy from alabama?

By kicking his sister in the jaw

What do you call a large pack of lube in Alabama?

Family size

Alabama, the land of 5 million people...

...and 4 last names.

Homeschooling cancelled in Alabama

Too many students sleeping with their teachers.

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama?

Because you never turn your back on family.

Why is Only Fans so cheap in Alabama?

Family discount.

Birth rates in Alabama have declined due to COVID19...

... restrictions prohibiting family gatherings.

Why is it almost impossible to solve a murder in Alabama?

Because they all have the same DNA.

what do you call a virgin in alabama

an orphan

What do you call someone from Alabama stuck in a sandwich?

Inbread.

An Alabama couple with 9 children went to see the doctor about getting the husband "fixed".

The doctor started the procedure and making small talk, asks them "Why, after having 9 children have you decided not to have any more?".

The husband replied, "We just read an article that said 1 in 10 American children born in the United States is Mexican".

The wife continued, "We didn't want to take the chance of having a Mexican baby, since neither of us can speak Spanish".

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?

If it were it invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.

Which Greek character is from alabama

Oedipus

What do you cal an orgy in Alabama?

A family reunion

The toothbrush had to have been invented in Alabama.

Because if it were invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.

Three guys were hiking took a short-cut across a farmer's field, where the found a pig stuck halfway through a fence.

"I wish that was my Nancy, my girl friend" said the guy from Florida.
" I wish that was my cousin Mary-Lou" said the guy from Georgia
"I wish it was dark out" said the guy from Alabama

Alabama has reported more deaths than births for the first time in it's history

Makes sense considering family get togethers have been restricted

Two guys immigrate to Alabama

Two guys immigrate to Alabama and decide to have a small bet regarding which one of them can integrate better. They decide to meet in one year to decide the results.

After one year they meet up and the first guy goes: ''Every sunday I go to church and then Walmart. I only eat chicken, shrimps and bbq. I drink nothing but cheap beer and coke. I just bought myself a new shotgun and new TRUMP decals for my truck.''

The other one (who integrated better) just yells: ''Go back to whatever sh\*thole you came from!''

why do people from Alabama love sandwiches?

they like things that are inbread

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the alabama alabama lsu jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working alabama alabama roll tide piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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