akbar Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious akbar puns

I have a Muslim friend with a Note 7...

It only gets awkward when he shouts "Allahu Akbar" when plugging it in.

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A magician says to his audience...

A magician says to his audience "I can make myself appear in 100 different places in this room". He says "3, 2, 1, Abracadabra!" Nothing happens so he tries once again, "3, 2, 1, Abracadabra!" Still nothing happens. Flustered he asks to be excused while he checks his handbook. He closes the book and says " Sorry, I've been saying the wrong magic word, 3, 2, 1, Allahu Akbar!" Needless to say his audience was blown away.

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What's the most popular pub in the Middle East?

The Allahu ak-Bar

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My father died on 9/11, I will never forget his last words

Allahu Akbar.

[Do keep in mind that this is not my joke, I just want to spread laughs]

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My name is Jafar

My name is Jafar

I come from afar

There is Note 7 in my car

Allahu Akbar

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A few days ago i saw an amazing magician...

When he opened his jacket and screamed Allahu Akbar he disappeared along with 30 others.

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What does Allahu Akbar actually mean?" I asked Muhammad at work today.

"It has two meanings," he replied, "The first meaning is 'God is Great'".

"And the second?" I asked

"Run like fuck!" Muhammad smiled.

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How do Hawaiian Muslims greet each other?

"Aloha Akbar!"

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"Mommy, why is my backpack so heavy?"

Allahu Akbar, honey.

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A magicians last trick

A magician stood in front of a crowd. "For this last trick I will make myself appear in 100 different places around this very room" said the magician. The crowd watched in disbelief. "3...2...1...abracadabra". Yet the magician was still there. "Hmm let me try that again 3...2...1...abracadabra". Nothing. The magician starts to panic and checks his handbook for the instructions. "Ah ha!" says the magician. "I wasn't saying the correct magic word". He stands in front of the crowd again and says "3...2...1...ALLAHU AKBAR".

Needless to say the crowd was blown away.

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What is that number 1 song coming out of the middle east?

My black flag brings all the goats to the yard,

and they're like like "allahu akbar",

watch out, I'll put a bomb in your car,

I'd teach you, but I lost my arms

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What came before the Big Bang?

"Allahu Akbar!"

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Please stop making 9/11 jokes... my father died on that day.

I still remember his last words: "Allahu Akbar"

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What did the Muslim on a surfboard say?

Aloha Akbar!

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Hawaiian terrorists be like...

Aloha Akbar

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Three Terrorists apply for ISIS ...

* First Terrorist enters the job interview:

Q: Name?

A: Mohammed.

Q: Biggest accomplishment?

A: Robbed a Bank, killed 2 Officers.

Q: How many Letters are in the Alphabet?

A: 26.

* Second Terrorist enters:

Q: Name?

A: Ibrahim.

Q: Biggest accomplishment?

A: Hacked 306 Facebook accounts posting "Alahu Akbar!"

Q: How many Letters are in the Alphabet?

A: 26.

* Third Terrorist enters:

Q: Name?

A: Mustafa.

Q: Biggest accomplishment?

A: Wiped out a big Company.

Q: How many Letters are in the Alphabet?

A: 24.

Q: Why only 24?

A: EA is no more.

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What did granny say after leaving her handbag on a bus?

"Allahu Akbar!"


I'm going to hell for this.

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Alahu Akbar

A man, who was on his way to work, was at a stop light when a car full of Muslims pulled up next to him. They started shouting at him saying "Alahu Akbar" and "Death to America". The man is a bit freaked out. When the light turned green the man waited so as to put some distance between himself and the Muslims. The Muslims accelerated quickly into the intersection and were promptly killed by a semi truck that ran the light. The man got to work and had a chance to think about what had happened. "That could have been ME!" he thought. So then and there he quit his job and got a new job as a truck driver.

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What starts with an A and has a boom at the end?

Allahu akbar

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What was the last thing the Australian terrorist said.

KoALLAH AKBAR.

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What does a Muslim with allergies say?

Al-achoo Akbar.

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An Omegle conversation

Me: My dad died on this day in 2001, he called me to say 2 words before dying.
Stranger: Ohh, that's so sweet! What were his words?
Me: Allahu Akbar

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What did the ghost say during its planned act of terrorism?

Allaboo Akbar.

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A muslim walks into a bar.

The Allahu Ak-bar.

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What did the Hawaiian Jihadist say?

Aloha Akbar.

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How do you get Akbar to shut up?

Muzzle'm.

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Is Allahu Akbar a good pickup line?

From what I hear, it's always getting guys blown.

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A islamic dial ripoff made a new type of hand soap.

Aloe Akbar.

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What does a hawaiian terrorist say?

Aloha Akbar

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How do you say hi to a Muslim in Hawaii?

Aloha Akbar.

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Where do terrorists go for a drink?

The Allahu Ak-Bar.

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What's the name of the Iraqi basketball team?

Alley-oop Akbar

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I still remember the last thing my dad said to me before dying in the 9/11 attacks...

Allahu Akbar!

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Terrorists in Hawaii be like..

..Aloha Akbar.

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We've been misinterpreting the Islamic Extremists...

Allahu Akbar *actually* means **"YOLO"**

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What are the most funny Akbar jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Akbar? Well, here are the best Akbar dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Akbar pick up lines to share with friends.

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