The Best 55 Airplanes Jokes

Following is our collection of Airplanes jokes which are very funny. There are some airplanes airliner jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these airplanes copilot puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Airplanes Jokes and Puns

So there is a mother and her daughter sitting on the plane.

They haven't taken off yet and are still on the runway. The daughter, who is pretty young, say four or five, looks out the window and gets to thinking....

"Mommy. If big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens, then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

And the mom, she's hungover and jet lagged.

"aw, baby, just go ask the stewardess"

So the daughter gets up to ask the flight attendant.

"Hey stewardess lady, if big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"

And the stewardss says "did your mother tell you to come ask me this?" The girl nods.

"well, you see, sweetheart, this is JetBlue. And we always pull out on time. That's why there's no baby airplanes. Go ask your mom about that."

As airplanes about to crash...

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Why was the russian airforce less superior than their enemies?

Cause their airplanes kept STALIN!!

(Ill see myself out...)

If inventing airplanes is wrong

then I don't wanna be Wright

Southwest

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.

So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to ask me?"

The boy said, "yes she did."

"Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you."


How often do airplanes crash?

Just once.

/**************************************/

NASA CHICKEN CANON

NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.

British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements are made, and a cannon is sent to the British engineers.

When the cannon goes off, the engineers stand shocked as the chicken crashes into the shatterproof shield, smashes it to smithereens, blasts through the control console, snaps the pilot's backrest in two, and embeds itself in the back wall of the cabin.

The horrified Brits send the Americans a report of the disastrous results, along with an urgent request for suggests on improving the windshield design.

The American engineers respond with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."

Airplanes are the safest way to travel

If Airplanes are really the safest way to travel, then why is it called the terminal?

[NSFW] What do woman and airplanes have in common?

They both have cockpits.

High school plays are a lot like airplanes.

People only want to hear about them if they crash and burn.

I read a book on how airplanes are held together.

Riveting!

You can explore airplanes turbulence reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean airplanes boeing dad jokes. There are also airplanes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why don't they have showers on airplanes?

Because of the towel ban.

At first my business of selling airplanes struggled quite a bit

But then it took off.

If a female fighter pilot shoots down a lot of enemy airplanes, she might plausibly be called a heroine.

But if she shoots up a lot of heroin, she will probably not be called an enemy airplane.

I love riding airplanes

It's the only time I don't feel under the weather.

Science created airplanes and skyscrapers

Faith brought them together

I started a business selling airplanes

It quickly took off.

Why don't Black people hijack airplanes?

They'll have no one to sell it to.

What do you call a fender bender that involves two airplanes?

A winger dinger.


Why are flying airplanes so hard to see?

Because they are high up in disguise.

We can thank the Japanese for the abundance of peanut snacks on airplanes..

Their most common response to post-flight, phone-based, satisfaction surveys was: "Not enough legume."

Why are saxophones never allowed on airplanes?

They are always sharp.

BUSINESS COMPANY TOWN 'Beauty and the Beast' won't be shown in Malaysia after Disney refuses to cut gay scene

Disney's argument was: "Things don't just disappear Malaysia! This aren't airplanes!"

When I eat on airplanes...

I go for the Chinese Takeout.

In a psychiatric

guard walks in on patient throwing thing out of the window:
Guard - What are you doing?
Patient - Sending airplanes.
Guard - Where is your doctor?
Patient - He flew on the first flight.

"Science gives us airplanes and skyscrapers..."

"but it's faith that brings them together."

It recently came out that ISIS was developing a bomb disguised as a laptop battery to take on airplanes

They must have been taking Notes from Samsung

What do you call someone who works on airplanes?

An Aerosmith.

What are those spinny things that smaller airplanes use to move?

Props to whoever can answer this.

What do you call a snake who makes a living building passenger airplanes?

A Boeing constructor.

Science built skyscrapers and airplanes

But only religion can bring the two together.

There are more airplanes in the ocean

than submarines in the sky

While airplanes may not be my favorite thing,

They're up there.

Repost, haven't seen it in a while.

Why don't airplanes have a 'reverse' drive?

No one wants a receding airline...

I have no idea if airplanes can actually travel in reverse, just go with me folks ;)

A mother and her son are sitting in an airplane.

The kid looks up and asks, "Mommy? If big cats have little cats, and big dogs have little dogs, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?"

Mom thinks to herself that he is too young and she doesn't want to get into this so she tells the boy, "Go ask the flight attendant; maybe she can answer that for you."

So, he walks up and asks, "Ma'am, if big cats have little cats, and big dogs have little dogs, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?"

She had overheard the mother's attempt to pass this off and replies, "Tell your mom that I said it's because Southwest airlines always pulls out on time and have her explain that to you..."

Why did the sitcom about airplanes never take off?

Because the pilot was terrible.

Guy: We need to stop testing our products on buildings.

Boss: Why, Elevator companies do it all the time?

Guy: Yeah but we make airplanes.

If flying airplanes is wrong...

I don't want to be Wright.

Have you guys heard about those new invisible airplanes?

I can't really see them taking off.

I'm not allows on airplanes anymore

I'm always photobombing

Science builds airplanes and skyscrapers...

but it's religion that brings them together.

Why does border patrol use airplanes to search for illegals crossing the border?

Because they are always hiding in plane sight

Fun fact: There are more airplanes in the ocean...

Than there are submirines in the sky.

Parapsychologists

I just want to take this moment to give a shout out to parapsychologists, the only folks brave enough to jump out of airplanes to provide emergency counseling.

I used to own a company that built airplanes, but it went bankrupt before I ever turned a profit.

It just didn't take off.

Why aren't cows allowed on airplanes?

Because the steaks would be getting too high

I was going to say a joke about Spirit Airlines

But jokes about flying Spirit sometimes work, sometimes don't. Just like their airplanes.

Where do airplanes come from?

The cockpit.

What did Bush used to say to his kids when they refuse to eat?

Here comes the airplanes.

Airplanes

I wrote an essay once. It was about airplanes.

My Teacher asked wheres the answer to the question?

I said It Is In Plane Sight.

The green new deal is actually a national security bill.

With out any airplanes there will be no more hijackings.

After the recent incidents regarding 737 MAX airplanes Boeing should definitely rebrand.

Boink is much more fitting.

Airplanes are a blessing in disguise

*clears throat*

Excuse me...

A blessing in the skies.

It's better said than typed :/

I've always wanted to joke about airplanes

Although I'm afraid they won't takeoff

Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?

I just cant see them taking off.

(edit) : why doesnt this joke have any upvotes? I guess it kind of flew under the radar.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the airplanes plane jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working airplanes airplane trouble piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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