airplane Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious airplane puns

What do we want?

Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?

NNEEEEOOOOWWWWW

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WHAT DO WE WANT?!?!!

WHAT DO WE WANT?!?!?

LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES!!!

WHEN DO WE WANT 'EM?!?!?

*NEEEEEYYYYOOOOOOOOWWWW*

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Just asked Siri.

"Surely it's not going to rain today?"

She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley"

...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

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The sky above looked ominous, so I asked Siri, "Surely, it's not going to rain again today?!"

It replied, "It is and don't call me Shirley!"

Guess I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode…

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Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?"

She said, "it is, and dont call me Shirley".

Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

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My phone fell from the 20th floor,

good thing it was in airplane mode.

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How often do airplanes crash?

Just once.

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Fred and Mary got married

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent'shome for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, 'No'.

Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?' His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'

She replies, 'No.'

Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school.'

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'

His mom says, 'No.'

He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'

His Mom replies, 'Ok, tell me what you think?'

He says, 'Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.'
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Freudian Slip...

A guy sits in his seat on an airplane, red-faced, and turns to the guy next to him. "Oh man. I just made the worst Freudian slip. The ticket agent was really well-endowed and instead of asking her for a ticket to Pittsburg, I asked her for a picket to tittsburg. So embarrassing!"

The guy he's sitting next to says, "Hey buddy. I'm right there with you. This morning I'm sitting at breakfast with my wife, and instead of saying, 'Honey, could you please pass the cream', I say, 'You fucking bitch, you ruined my life.'"

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What sound does an airplane make when it bounces off the ground?

Boeing.

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What do we want?!

Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want em?

NEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWW

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A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane..

... The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?"

"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before," he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"

The woman nodded, "Pepper."

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What do we want?!

Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?!

NNNNEEEOOOOOWWWWWWW

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Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane?

Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?

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There once were two airplane mechanics from New Jersey...

... Who were also drinking buddies.

One night, the mechanics (Rick and Paul) were finishing up their shift and discussing where they should go for a drink afterwards.

"I don't know, man," said Rick. "We've been to every bar in town. The scene's getting old."

"Well," replied Paul, "there is one other option. I've heard drinking jet fuel gives you a pretty good buzz."

"Fuck it, I'll try anything once," said Rick, and they grabbed the nearest can of jet fuel and had the kind of time that only drinking buddies can.

The next morning, Rick awoke expecting the hangover from hell. To his surprise, he felt fine. Better than fine, even; he felt great!

"This is amazing," he thought. "All the fun of drinking, but with no negative effects!"

Just then, he receives a call from Paul.

"Hey man," said Paul. "How ya feelin'?"

"I feel great!" Exclaimed Rick. "You?"

"Pretty good, but there's just one thing... Did you fart yet?"

"No," said a puzzled Rick. "Why do you ask?"

"Because," Paul said. "I'm in Arizona."

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A priest and a rabbi are traveling in a airplane full of kids when the engine blows up...

...It is an emergency and the plane is going to crash. They both rush to don the only 2 emergency parachutes.

Rabbi: We are holy men. We deserve to live.

Priest: What about the kids?

Rabbi: Fuck the kids.

Priest: Do you think there is time?

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What do we want?? LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES!!! When do we want them??

NNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW

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Plane Ride

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane."

Esther always replied, "I know, Morris, but that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

One year Morris and Esther went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm eighty-five years old. If I don't ride that airplane, I might never get another chance."

Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word, it's fifty dollars."

Morris and Esther agreed, and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was spoken. He did all his tricks over again but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "My, my, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars."

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How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone?

Put it into airplane mode.

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Two men are sitting next to each other on an airplane...

One man is visibly flustered. The other man leans over and asks, "Hey, is there something wrong?"


The other man replies, "Well, I'm a bit embarassed. When I was purchasing my ticket this morning, the ticket girl had the most wonderful pair of breasts. I was distracted and instead of asking for a round trip ticket to Pittsburgh, I asked for a round trip ticket to Titsburgh."

The other man laughs and says, "My friend, it happens to the best of us. Just this morning, I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, but what came out was 'You fucking bitch, you ruined my life.'"

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Two wrongs don't make a right,

But two wrights make one hell of an airplane.

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A Mormon and an Irishman are on a plane.

After the airplane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for whiskey which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he'd like a drink.

He replied in disgust "I'd rather let a dozen whores rape me than let alcohol touch my lips"

The Irishman then handed his drink back and said "Me too. I didn't know we had a choice!"

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Airplane passengers watch nervously

As two men wearing pilots' uniforms and dark glasses use canes to feel their way into the cockpit.

 

The plane starts barreling down the runway, and the passengers begin to get scared as the water at the end of the airstrip nears. With only a few yards left, everyone screams, but the plane lifts off just in time. The passengers think it was all a joke, while in the cockpit, the pilots high five.

 

"You know," says one pilot to the other, "one day they're gonna scream too late, and we're gonna die."

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A priest was seated next to a little boy in an airplane, placed his hand on the boy's leg, and asked him, "Do you want to talk?...

... Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. The little boy, who had just started to read his book, brushed his hand away and replied to the total stranger, What would you want to talk about? Oh, I don't know, said the priest How about God, Heaven and how you will burn in Hell if you sin?"

OK, he said. Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is? The priest, visibly surprised by the little boy's intelligence, thinks about it and says, Hmmm, I have no idea.

To which the little boy replies, Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is a God, or Heaven or why I will burn in Hell if I sin, when you don't know shit? The little boy then went back to reading his book.

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If 2 wrongs DID make a right...

You'd need 4 wrongs to invent an airplane.

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What do we want?! LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES!

When do want them?!
NNNNNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWW!!!

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I asked Siri " surely it isn't going to rain tomorrow"

and he replied " yes it is, and don't call me Shirley"...turns out I left airplane mode on

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Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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A man and a woman were...

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first-class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to reading a magazine but, a few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.

Assuming the woman had a cold, the man was curious about the shuddering, but went back to his reading. A few minutes later the woman sneezed yet again and, again, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking more than before.

At this, the man said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose, and the shuddered violently. Are you okay?

"I'm sorry if I disturbed you," the woman replied, "but I have a very rare medical condition - whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."

"I've never heard of that condition," the man said. "Are you taking anything for it?"

"Yes," the woman said. "Pepper."

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Gambling with Blondes


There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him.

The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He told
her that every time she could not answer his question, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured the blonde was so dumb, he could not lose, and the blonde thought for a few minutes and reluctantly accepted to play the game.

The lawyer fires his first question "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. The blonde then asked the lawyer "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

The lawyer's face looked extremely puzzled. He spent several minutes looking up everything he could on his laptop and then even placed numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer. Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00.

The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word. The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, "Well, what is answer?"

The blonde glanced at him with a smile on her face and handed him a $5 bill.

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As airplanes about to crash...

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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How do you blow up a Muslim's phone?

Put it on airplane mode.

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Sneezing

A woman boards an airplane, and is seated next to a fairly unremarkable man. After she has sat down, she notices that he has a giant duffel bag stuffed with Kleenex sitting between his legs. Suddenly, the man appears as though he is about to sneeze. He breathes in sharply a few times, and quickly grabs a handful of tissues and stuffs them down his pants, before sneezing into another right after.

"Whatever was that for?" The woman asks, surprised.

"Well," the man says, "I have a rather unique condition. Whenever I sneeze, it triggers an instantaneous orgasm. I can't control it, so I just carry this around with me in case of emergency. I do have some medicine to help me, though."

"You poor man!" The woman exclaims, "What do you take for such a condition?"

The man replies, "Pepper!"

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Did you hear about the cow who gambled on an airplane?

The steaks couldn't have been higher.

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An airplane yells at his rebellious son...

.. "Watch that altitude, young man"

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"If two wrongs don't make a right, what do two rights make?"

An Airplane

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Never Mess with Kids

A man was seated next to a kid in an airplane.
The man turned to him and said, Let's talk .

Kid: Ok, what do we talk about ?

Man (making fun of d kid): How about nuclear power?

Kid:
Very interesting topic. But let me ask you a question…
Horse, cow & deer, all eat grass. Yet deer excretes pellets, cow flat potty & horse clumps.
Why?

Man: I don't know.

Child: Do you really feel qualified enough to discuss nuclear issues when you don't know shit.. ?

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I was getting off an airplane, when I passed a little boy who was waving and saying "Bye, plane!"...

"No, this isn't a biplane." I said, as the kid's dad immediately gave me a condescending look.

I went on, "You can't tell its sexual preference based just on how it looks."

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How do you know when a girl is too young for you?

When you have to make an airplane noise to get your dick in her mouth.

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A Rabbi, Lawyer, and Priest are on an airplane...

along with a troupe of boyscouts. The airplane is going down FAST. There are parachuts, but only enough for a few people.

The Rabbi says, "Listen. We need to give the parachuts to the boyscouts. It's the right thing to do."

The Lawyer then responds, "What are you crazy!? Fuck the boyscouts!"

The Priest quickly glances at his watch and says, "DO WE HAVE TIME!?"

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A black man and his son sits in an airplane

suddenly the airplane enters massive turbulence. The captain then activates the speaker and says:
"I am very sorry to inform you this, but we have to throw your luggage over board or the plane will crash!". After all the luggage was thrown overboard, some time passed and the plane entered another turbulence, but this time even more massive! The captain goes:
"This is an emergency! We have to throw passengers overboard or we will all die. You will be thrown overboard in alphabetic order.. Will all the African people please stand up?" Alle the african people stood up. "Will all the Black people please stand up?". All the black people stood up. "Will all the colored people please stand up?" All the colored people stood up". The son then asks his father:
"But dad... you always told me we were proud african, black, colored people??". "Not today son. Today, we are niggers"

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane?

A passenger you racist fuck.

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Two blondes are having a conversation...

Do you know that the black box of an airplane is actually orange!

The other respond:

OMG! So, it's not a box?!?

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11 Blondes and a brunette

There are 12 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 11 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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How do you know a girl is too young for you?

When you have to make airplane noises to get your dick in her mouth

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There are more airplanes in the ocean

than submarines in the sky

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Mathematician and engineer in the desert..

An airplane crashed in the middle of the Sahara, and an engineer and mathematician are the only survivors. They start walking and after a couple of days they are near death. An angel comes down and says "I am your guardian angel, and I am going to give you a chance to live. I am going to put cases of water a mile away. But here's the catch...you have to go half way to the water and stop, half way and stop all the way to the water." The two say "Oh thank you, thank you angel!" and walk a half mile and stop, then a quarter mile and stop. Finally, they are 20 steps away, then 10, until they are taking baby steps. The mathematician suddenly shouts in frustration "this is all a cruel joke! We will never actually reach the water! We are going to die!!" The engineer says "Relax dummy, we're close enough already..", and he reaches down and grabs a bottle.

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As migration approached, two elderly vultures

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.

"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."

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A Muslim enters a building

Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.

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What do we want? Low flying airplane noises! When do we want it?

Nnnneeeeeeoooooooowwwew

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An asian asks for help at an airport...

Asian: "why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."

Airplane help guy: "fluctuations."

Asian: "fluck you americans too."

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I asked Siri a question and she said, Don't call me Shirley.

I must have left the phone in Airplane mode.

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What do we want? Airplane sounds! When do we want them?

Neeeeaaaowwww!

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I just asked Siri "Surely it's not going to rain today?". Siri replied "It is, and don't call me Shirley."

I forgot to take my phone off airplane mode

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A blind man goes on vacation

A blind man goes on vacation. He's never been to Texas, and decides to check it out. He books his plane tickets, heads to the airport, and gets on the plane. When he sits in his seat, he's amazed to discover that the seat is much bigger than any airplane seat he's ever sat in.

"Wow, this seat is gigantic!" he says. "I can practically curl up and fit my whole body on this chair!"

The woman next to him says, "Sure, everything's bigger in Texas, hun."

The blind man lands at Dallas/Ft. Worth and catches a taxi to his hotel. He wants to go out and experience the city, but since it's been a long day of travel, he decides to get a drink at the hotel bar first. He orders a beer, but instead of the pint he expects, the bartender hands him a mug that's practically the size of a bucket.

"Damn," the blind man says, "this beer is huge!"

The bartender says, "Oh yes sir, but you know everything's bigger in Texas."

Well, after a couple of hours, the blind man finishes his beer and it's really gone straight to his bladder.

He slurs to the bartender, "My good man, could you point me towards the restroom in this fine establishment?"

The bartender says, "Sure, it's right down that hall, third door on your right."

The blind man makes his way down the hall, but in his state of inebriation (it was a lot of beer!), he misses the third door and opens the fourth instead, which happens to be the hotel swimming pool.

He slips and falls in and starts panicking and yelling "Don't flush, don't flush!"

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Probability theory

Probability theory is probably the least understood area by the general population (except for certain gamblers). As a simple example, consider the History Professor friend of mine who was scared of flying and asked me one day: "What is the probability that there will be a bomb on an airplane?" I responded that I really didn't know, but that it was certainly less than one in a million. So he asked: "Well, what is the probability that there are two bombs on an airplane?" I responded that (as long as these were independent events) it would be the square of the probability of having one bomb, which is 1 in a trillion - a truly astronomical number. So, from that day forward he always carried a bomb with him when he flew since it reduced the risk of having a bomb on the plane from 1 in a million to 1 in a trillion.

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If a female fighter pilot shoots down a lot of enemy airplanes, she might plausibly be called a heroine.

But if she shoots up a lot of heroin, she will probably not be called an enemy airplane.

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Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right

But two Wrights make an airplane

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Jewish Thinking

A Jewish couple is sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and this plane will be going down momentarily.

Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us that should be able to accommodate our landing. However, the odds are that we will never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives."

​

A few minutes later the plane lands safely on the island.

Morris turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our pledge to the yeshiva yet?" "No, Morris" she responds.

Morris smiles and then asks, "Esther, did we pay our UJA pledge?" Oy, no! I haven't sent the check!!" she says.

Now Morris laughs out loud. "One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send our Temple Building Fund check this month?" he asks.

"Oy, Morris I haven't sent that one, either!" says Esther.

Now Morris is practically choking with laughter.

Esther asks Morris, "So, nu? What are you smiling and laughing about?"

​

Morris answers confidently, "They'll find us."

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As an airplane is about to crash...

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone?

Put it into airplane mode

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Literary position.

Years ago, my grandparents took me on a vacation to Disneyland. Grandma was excited for me when we boarded the plane, she exclaimed that I was lucky, because I got the Shakespeare seat.

"Why is it the Shakespeare seat Grandma?"

"You are in seat 2-B, so it's the Shakespeare seat."

"Don't be silly Grandma. All the seats on an airplane are Shakespeare seats."

"How do you figure that?"

"Well, it's either seat 2-B or not 2-B."

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[NSFW] How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

When you have to make airplane noises to put your dick in her mouth

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A priest, a rabbi and a minister are on an airplane with an interfaith youth group

The plane starts to go down, and they find there are only three parachutes.


"We'll take them and jump," says the minister.
"But the children," cries the rabbi, "we have to save the children!"


The minister snaps, "fuck the children!"


The priest glances back at the terrified kids, thinks a moment, and asks,

"Do we have time?"

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What do you call eating ass on an airplane?

Skyrim

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How do you know your girlfriend is too young for you?

You have to make airplane noises to put your dick in her mouth

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Just asked Siri 'surely the weather is not going to be this miserable again tomorrow?'

Siri replied, 'yes it will be and don't call me Shirley'

Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode

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An old lady next to me on the airplane was scared by me being a muslim

I laughed so hard my grenades almost fell out of my pocket.

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What sound does a rubber airplane make?

Boeing

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Polish Hunters

Two Polish hunters named Stosh and Thad, hired a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose.

The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both...and he had exactly the same airplane as yours."

Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded. However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness.

Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Stosh and Thad survived the crash.

After climbing out of the wreckage, Thad asked Stosh, "Any idea where we are?"

Stosh replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

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I just picked up the Germanwings iPhone app...

When I switched on airplane mode, it locked me out of the phone and then crashed.

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Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies...

who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Bud says, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed.

The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Jim.

Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"

Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"

Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"

Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."

"Yeah, well there's just one thing..."

"What's that?"

"Have you farted yet?" "No....."

"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in PHOENIX!!!"

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The FBI Arrested me Once for Masturbating on a Airplane Toilet

They accused me of High Jacking

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What do you call a Muslim Flying an airplane

A pilot

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What do you call eating a girl's ass out on an airplane?

Skyrim

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Polish Moose Hunt

Two Polish hunters named Stosh and Thad, hired a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose.

As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose. The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both. And he had exactly the same airplane as yours." Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded.

However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness. Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Stosh and Thad survived the crash. After climbing out of the wreckage, Thad asked Stosh, "Any idea where we are?"

Stosh replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

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On the airplane:

I was on an airplane on my way from Johannesburg to Cape Town.

Just when the aircraft was at the desired altitude, the pilot turned on the radio and said. "Ladies and Gentleman, this is your pilot speaking, we are current... OH FUCK!"

There was silence for a few seconds then the pilot came back on the radio,

"Sorry about that, I spilled some coffee on my lap, man you should see what a mess my pants are on the front side."

Immediately all the passengers started yelling at him: "You should see what a mess our pants are at the back!"

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What do you call an airplane that flies backwards?

a receeding airline.... bada boom! The little bros joke book is pure gold haha

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What do we want...

Low flying airplane noise

When do we want them

NNNnnEEeeoooooooowwwWWW

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An airplane is going down...

... so the pilot gets on the intercom and says "we have too much weight, we are going to have to throw off everybody's luggage."

But, afterwards they are still going down... So, the pilot says "Alright, I'm sorry to inform you that we are going to have to start throwing people off of the plane, we'll go in A, B, C order..."

"Africans, any Africans?" Nobody stands up.

"Okay, black people, any black people?" Nobody stands up.

"Colored people, any colored?" Still nobody.

So, a little black boy looks at his mom and says, "Mom, aren't we African, black, and colored?" "No, son, today we are niggers." She tells him.

The little black boy turns to a Mexican boy and says "Haha, you are getting thrown off before us!" The Mexican boy looks at him and says "Not today, nigger, today we're wetbacks!"

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A Malaysian man buys a new phone...

He puts it on airplane mode. Now he cant seem to find it anywhere.

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Asked my iPhone, Surely I don't need an umbrella today? . Siri replied Yes, and don't call me Shirley .

Turns out I left Airplane mode on.

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The pilot and co-pilot are sitting in the cockpit of an airplane.

As they wait for the passengers to board, the pilot says to the co-pilot,



Why did you become a pilot?



To which the co-pilot replies, To overcome my greatest fear.



Flying? the pilot asks




No. says the co-pilot, Dying alone.

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So people are loading into an airplane

And the pilot of this airplane is blind. At the end of the take off strip is a huge lake. All the people on the plane are relaxing reading books and talking to each other as the airplane starts to roll down the strip. A few people see that they are heading towards a lake but they assume the pilot knows what he's doing. The airplane is going dangerously close to the lake and the plane is still not taking off, at this point people are starting panic. The plane is still not taking off and it's way too close to the lake. At this point everyone on the plane is screaming and yelling because the plane is about to plunge into the lake at the end of the strip. The plane is about 10 feet away from the lake then it lifts off the ground and takes off. The passengers calm down slowly and return to reading and talking . In the front of the plane the pilot laughs to himself and mumbles "one of these days the passengers won't scream and we'll all die."

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Blonde Co-Pilot

This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.

He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out for help.

"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"

She hears a voice over the radio saying:

"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! First, give me your height and position."

She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."

"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "repeat after me: Our Father...Who art in Heaven....."

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Lazy vultures

Two lazy vultures had procrastinated on flying south for the winter until the first frost hit, then they got worried. "We better catch an airplane to Mexico, lets go to the airport!" So they take off down the road, and as luck would have it, they come across two dead road-killed opossums, that had started to get nice and smelly, just like vultures like them. "What luck, we better take these with us, I heard the airlines don't offer meals on the flight anymore." So they each grab a dead opossum, tuck it under their wing, and head on to the terminal. They walk up to the ticket counter and tell they lady "We'd like two tickets to Cancun, please."

"Very well," she says, "Will you be checking any bags?"

"No," say the vultures, holding up the dead opossum carcasses, "we only have carrion."

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I wasn't allowed to bring my board game onto the airplane

They told me the risk was too big.

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A mother and her son are sitting in an airplane.

The kid looks up and asks, "Mommy? If big cats have little cats, and big dogs have little dogs, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?"

Mom thinks to herself that he is too young and she doesn't want to get into this so she tells the boy, "Go ask the flight attendant; maybe she can answer that for you."

So, he walks up and asks, "Ma'am, if big cats have little cats, and big dogs have little dogs, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?"

She had overheard the mother's attempt to pass this off and replies, "Tell your mom that I said it's because Southwest airlines always pulls out on time and have her explain that to you..."

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What do an airplane and a girl have in common?

A cockpit

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Flying Blind

A Frenchman, Englishman, and an American are flying in an airplane on a cloudy, storming night when suddenly the plane is struck by lightning.

The pilot turns to his three passengers and says, "The plane's GPS is broken. I need each of you to stick your hand out the door, feel around, and tell me which city we are flying over judging by what you touch."

The Frenchman goes first. He opens the door, puts his hand outside of the door, and brings it in a minute later. "We're flying over Paris! I could feel the Eiffel Tower!"

The Englishman is next. He sticks his hand outside and draws it back in a minute later. "I just touched Big Ben! We are just over London!"

Finally, it is the American's turn. He shoves his hand outside the plane and brings it back in immediately. "We're flying over Detroit. I know because my watch just got stolen."

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When a statistician passes the airport security check...

When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer..."

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How do you know your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get your dick in her mouth.

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A man is in an airplane from Miami to Paris

And a stunning gorgeous woman seats by his side. He's the eager to start a conversation.

"So, what are you doing in Paris?"

"I'm a scientist, I research sex"

The man is now tempted:

"What have you discovered about sex in your research?"

"I came to find that Native Americans have the longest penises and Spanish can last the longest in bed. By the way, I'm Carol, what's your name?"

"I'm Sitting Bull Hernandez, nice to meet you"

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An unfortunate business idea

I once started a restaurant inside an airplane that was no longer functional. Sadly, it never took off.

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A man on an airplane asked the stewardess to have sex with him on the plane.

The Stewardess said, "No way".

The man protested, "I have cancer, and this will be my last flight and I'd really like to join the mile high club before I die."

The Stewardess replied, "I don't give a flying fuck."

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I was on an airplane

and the Captain was doing his usual spiel, "We're cruising at so and so feet, over the Pacific Ocean, yada yada".

When he was finished, he turned to speak to his co-pilot, forgetting that he was still broadcasting to the entire plane, saying, "You know what I could use right now? A cup of coffee and a good blowjob."

Mortified, a stewardess ran toward the cockpit to inform him that the intercom was still on.

Seeing her hurrying down the aisle, a passenger shouted, "Don't forget the coffee!"


Saw this in the movie Good Will Hunting, tried to remember how it went best I could :)

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A vulture is boarding an airplane carrying two dead raccoons.

The stewardess says, "I'm sorry sir, there is only one carrion allowed per passenger."

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Donald Trump and his two bodyguards are on a crashing airplane. There are only two parachutes.

Trump declares "I am the President of the United States and also the smartest one. It's unbelievable." He grabs a parachute and jumps.

One of the bodyguards says "Hey, man, you have a wife and kids. Take the parachute."

The other replies "There are enough parachutes for both of us, Tim. Mr Trump took my knapsack."

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Kids jokes

Q: What did the ocean say to the airplane?

A: Nothing, it just waved.



Q: Do old planes retire?

A: No, they just get more turbulent.



Q: Why did the young plane study so hard?

A: He really wanted a higher education!



Q: Did you hear the joke about the jet?

A: It's over your head.



Q: What do you call a flying policeman?

A: A helicopper!



Q: What travels around the world and stays in a corner?

A: A stamp!



Q: What keeps jazz musicians on earth?

A: Groovity!



Q: What goes up and down but doesn't move?

A: The temperature!



Q: I'm not an airplane, but I can fly through the sky. I'm not a river, but I'm full of water. What am I?
A: A cloud

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A muslim guy greeted his friend on an airplane. They were both detained.

His friend named Jack.

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An airplane yells at his son

"If you don't get an attitude adjustment immediately you're going to get grounded."

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Let's discuss nuclear power

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

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If I were to masturbate on an airplane...

Would it be considered as hijacking

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Oldie but a Goodie

A guy sits in his seat on an airplane, red-faced, and turns to the guy next to him. "Oh man. I just made the worst Freudian slip. The ticket agent was really well-endowed and instead of asking her for a ticket to Pittsburg, I asked her for a picket to tittsburg. So embarrassing!"

The guy he's sitting next to says, "Hey buddy. I'm right there with you. This morning I'm eating breakfast with my wife, and instead of saying, 'Honey, could you please pass the cream', I say, 'I hate you, you fucking bitch, you ruined my life.'"

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The plane that's about to crash!

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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It was mealtime on an airplane...

...and the flight attendant asked a passenger if he would like some dinner.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

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2 Newfies are landing a airplane

2 Newfies are landing an airplane. The pilot says to the co-pilot, "That runway looks pretty short, better give me half flaps". "Roger" says the co-pilot. The pilot says, "That runway is really short, better give me 3/4 flaps." After a second, the pilot screams, "The runway is REALLY short, give me full flaps and brake hard as soon as we touch down!". The plane lands and come to a screeching halt immediately. The co-pilot says, "Wow, that runway was really short" and the pilot says, "Yes, but look how wide it is."

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A rabbi, a priest, and a black guy are on an airplane...

The plane is full of kids but only has 2 parachutes. The black guy grabs one and bails immediately.
Rabbi: Give me the last parachute!
Priest: But what about the kids?
Rabbi: FUCK THE KIDS!
Priest: Do we have time?!

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Blonde Joke

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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If two wrongs don't make a right, then what do two rights make?

An airplane.

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I set my phone to airplane mode

I lost it two weeks ago and everyone has a different opinion on what happened to it

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If two wrongs don't make a right, what do two rights make?

An airplane.

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An Famous Statistician

A famous statistician would never travel by airplane, because he had studied air travel and estimated that the probability of there being a bomb on any given flight was one in a million, and he was not prepared to accept these odds.

One day, a colleague met him at a conference far from home. "How did you get here, by train?"

"No, I flew"

"What about the possibility of a bomb?"

"Well, I began thinking that if the odds of one bomb are 1:million, then the odds of two bombs are (1/1,000,000) x (1/1,000,000). This is a very, very small probability, which I can accept. So now I bring my own bomb along!"

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How do you call a bouncy airplane?

A Boing.

P.S. I came up with this on my own, yet have a feeling it mist've been here already, so please tell me if it's a repost. Thanks!

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The snake and the skunk

A man and his wife are coming to America with their pet snake and pet skunk. As they are walking up to the gate, about to board the airplane, they read a sign that says no pets allowed through customs. The wife gets a little distressed and asks the husband, "What are we going to do?" After thinking for a few minutes he comes up with the solution that he'll wrap the snake around his waist and act like it's a snake skin belt. She nods her head in approval. Then the husband says, "You hide the skunk up your skirt". Worried, she says, "Well what about the smell?" He says "It doesn't matter if it dies"

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A nice little cheer -

What do we want?

Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?

NNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW

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The first rule of flight club is..

..turn the airplane on. & you should probably learn how to read.

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This was a killer joke when I was in 3rd grade.

A man had to take a dump on an airplane, but the men's room was occupied. The flight attendant saw him trying to hold his poop and and said he could use the woman's room BUT NO TOUCHING THE BUTTONS!!

The man took his dump. Then saw 3 buttons. He pushed the first one labeled WW. He felt a stream of warm water spray clean his ass. Ah, he said that must be warm wash.

He saw a second button labeled "BD" and felt a warm gust of air on his butt. Ah, he said that must be butt dry.

He saw a third button labeled ATR. He pushed it and screamed and passed out from the pain.

He awoke in a hospital room. The flight attendant was there and said. I told you not to push any buttons. That was the automatic tampon remover!

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"What do we want?"

"AIRPLANE NOISES!"

"When do we want them?"

"NEEEEOOOWWWWW"

I'm very sorry

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Two airplane mechanics

Bob and Tim work at Atlanta airport. Atlanta gets fogged in one night and nothing can take off or land so Bob and Tim have nothing to do. After work Bob and Tim usually have a drink on their way home, so Bob says to Tim, I heard that you can get a buzz off drinking jet fuel. Since they have nothing better to do, they try it. Finally, their shift is over and they get to go home. Next morning Bob calls Tim and says, How are you feeling? Tim says he's fine, never felt better. Bob asks, Do you have a hangover? Tim says no. Then Tim says, Wow this is great! We can drink all we want and not get a hangover. Then Bob says, Well, there is one side effect, Tim. Have you farted yet? Tim says, No, why?
Bob says, I'm calling you from Detroit!

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A Little Girl On A Plane

A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane. He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care or the economy when you don't know crap?"

Then she went back to reading her book.

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If two wrongs don't make a right, what do two rights make?

An airplane

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Lets talk.

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."




The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"




"Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"



"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"




The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."




To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know s**t?"

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A monk, a lawyer, a priest, and a kid....

...are in a small airplane. The sole pilot storms out of the cockpit, throws a chute on the floor and yells "We're going down! I'm bailing out, here's the one other parachute!" He jumps out of the plane and the monk says "We must spare the child", the lawyer says "Fuck the kid!", and the priest says "Do you think we have time?"

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Three men are on an airplane...

One of them has a knife, one has a gun, and the other has a bomb. The first guy with the knife, realizes that he cannot go through with hijacking the plane, so he throws the knife out the window.

The second guy, with the gun, also decides that he cannot go through with hijacking the plane, and throws his gun out the window.

Alas, the third guy also makes this decision, and throws the bomb out of the window.

Their plane lands sometime later and they decide to grab a drink at the bar. Upon walking up to a bar they notice everyone is gathered around the tv, watching intently. It shows 3 children...

"what happened?" the men ask the fellow patrons.

"shh, just watch"

On TV:

Reporter: "Son, why are you crying?"

Kid 1: "My daddy got stabbed by a knife from the sky!!!"

The man that threw the knife out realizes that it was his knife and feels horrible...

Reporter: "Little girl, why are you crying?"

Kid 2: "My daddy got shot from a gun falling from the sky!!!"

The man that threw the gun out realizes that it was his gun and feels horrible...

Reporter talking to the final child: "Kid, why are you... laughing?"

Kid 3: "My daddy farted and the house blew up!!!!"

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Why don't airplanes have a 'reverse' drive?

No one wants a receding airline...

I have no idea if airplanes can actually travel in reverse, just go with me folks ;)

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Two statisticians were traveling in an airplane from LA to New York.

About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don't worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York.

A little later, he announced that a second engine failed, and they still had two left, but it would take 10 hours to get to New York.

Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced that a third engine had died. Never fear, he announced, because the plane could fly on a single engine. However, it would now take 18 hours to get to New York.

At this point, one statistician turned to the other and said, Gee, I hope we don't lose that last engine, or we'll be up here forever!

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired

from all the masturbating I did in the airplane lavatory.

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You know your girlfriend's too young when.....

...you have to make the airplane noise to get your cock in her mouth.

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A brick fell from an airplane

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator in 3 steps? You open the refrigerator, put the giraffe in and close the refrigerator.

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator in 4 steps? You open the refrigerator, take the giraffe out, put the elephant inside and close the refrigerator.

A lion is having a birthday and all the animals are there except for one, which one is it? The elephant isn't there, he's in a refrigerator.

Sally has to cross a river populated by crocodiles, how does she do it without dying? She just swims across, all the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday party.

Sally still dies, why? Because she got hit by the brick.

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Don't press # 3

On an airplane there is a mens and womens bathroom. The guys bathroom was broken so the men had to use the womans bathroom. Well, this man has to go to the bathroom so he stands up and walks to the back of the plane. Before he goes in, the attendant tells him not to press #3. The man takes a dump and pushes #1; this thing comes out and wiped his ass. "Wow," he exclaims, "we don't have THAT in the mens room!" Intrigued, he decides to press #2; the toilet flushes and air freshener is released. "Interesting," he thinks. Then he says to himself, "I have to know what #3 does." and presses it. The next day he woke up in the hospital! #3 was a tampon remover.

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What do we want? Airplane noises.

When do we want them?

Nyeeeaaaaaoooowww

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Why didn't the buzzard have any luggage on the airplane?

Because he ate his carrion.

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A man is sitting next to a woman on an airplane

She sneezes, and kind of tenses up. The man looks over, then looks away. The woman sneezes again, and tenses up kinda shaking. He looks over, watches her. She sneezes about 4 more times. Now she is violently shaking he asks, are you okay? A bit worried, she reply's, yes! I have this disease where every time I sneeze, I orgasm! He says, oh my goodness, are you taking anything for that? She reply's with a smile, of course! Pepper.

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Two wrongs don't make a right

But two wrights make an airplane

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When do we need airplane noises?

NEEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWW

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There are 11 blondes...

hanging on the wings of an airplane. 5 on one wing, and 6 on another, and due to this, theres an imbalance and the plane will crash. So they all decided that one of the blonde has to let go, so the wings are balanced.

After a lot of discussion, one brave blonde decides that she'll sacrifice herself for the others. She lets go, and the rest of the 10 blondes start clapping, applauding her for her bravery.......

Hope you guys like it, nd sorry if its a xpost.

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Why is it illegal to masturbate on an airplane?

Because its high jacking.

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Getting married for sex...

is like flying on an airplane for food.

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"What do we want?"

"Low fly airplane noises!!!"

"When do we want it?"

"NEEEEOOOWWWWWW"

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A plane is going down...

An airplane of holiday makers is flying over the pacific when the engine fails and takes a nosedive. Everyone dies except for 3: two guys and one girl. They wash up on a beach of a deserted island and set about building a fire, fishing, making a shelter etc. When the sun goes down and they are bored there is only one thing to do, so they do what comes naturally to them . . .
This set up continues untill the girl gets sick, soon after she dies. The two guys are alone. So at night they continue doing what comes naturally to each other . . .
But after a few weeks they feel really bad about doing it so they bury her. . .

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An Irishman, a Scotsman and an Italian were in an airplane

It had engine trouble. So, they all got on their parachutes and jumped. The Irishman was first out of the plane, counted to ten, and pulled the rip cord. Second out, the Italian did the same. So, did the Scotsman, but his chute did not open, and he plummeted down with ever increasing speed. He passed the Italian, who crossed himself. Then he shot passed the Irishman.
The Irishman TOOK OFF HIS CHUTE, and started to plummet after the Scotsman!!!!!!!

"OH, SO TIS A RAACE YE BE WANTIN'!!!!!", He Shouted....




Happy St. Paddys day guys. Got this from the comment section on Yahoo, first time that ever paid off

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Two guys who both have a black eye are sitting next to each other on an airplane...

Two guys who both have a black eye happen to sit next to each other on an airplane. So the one guy asks the other: "How come you have a black eye?"

Well you see, I had this family emergency and did not have time to buy a ticket, so I went to the airport hoping to buy one at the counter. When I get there this REALLY hot woman with this enormous cleavage is standing by the counter. So what I meant to say was "One ticket to Pittsburgh" but what I actually said was "one ticket to Tittsburgh". That is how I got my black eye. "So how come you got a black eye?" he asks the other guy.

Well you see, I was sitting at home with my wife having dinner. What I meant to say was "Can you please pass me the salt honey?" but what I actually said was "You have ruined my life you fucking bitch"

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The President of Brazil, France and United States share a flight around the world

The United state president puts his hands out of the windows and says:

"We are in the US! I just touched the Statue of Liberty"

Some time passes, the French president puts his hands out and says out loud:

"Now we are in France. I just touched the Eiffel tower".

After a while the Brazilian president also puts his hands out of the Airplane and says:

"Yes, we finally are in Brazil. I just had my watch stolen"

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Passengers aboard an airplane watched nervously

As two men wearing pilots' uniforms and dark glasses use canes to feel their way into the cockpit.

The plane starts barreling down the runway, and the passengers begin to get scared as the water at the end of the airstrip nears. With only a few yards left, everyone screams, but the plane lifts off just in time. The passengers think it was all a joke, while in the cockpit, the pilots high five.

"You know," says one pilot to the other, "one day they're gonna scream too late, and we're gonna die."

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So I was on an airplane

And the captain just finished his whole we'll be cruising at 30,000 feet and he puts down the mic but forgets to turn it off. Then he turns to his copilot and says "you know what I could use right now is a blowjob and a cup of coffee". Then the stewardess comes bolting up the aisle to tell him his mic is still on and the guy across from me calls after her, "don't forget the coffee!"

Credit to Good Will Hunting

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What's white and kills you if it enters your eye?

An airplane.

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A Mississippi Girl is flying on an airplane for the first time when...

...a smartly-dressed older woman sits down and arranges herself in the seat next to the girl.

"So, where y'all from?" the girl asks cheerfully.

The woman slowly takes out a handkerchief, dabs at her forehead and the corners of her mouth, and clears her throat before answering...

"Well... **I'M** from a place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions...!"

The girl slips a peanut into her mouth and nibbles on it awhile, contemplating...
Finally, she tries again...



"So, where y'all from... BITCH."

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Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.

The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

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Blonde vs. Lawyer

A blonde sits next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him. After several minutes of arguing with her, he says you give me $5 for every question you cant answer and i'll give you $50 for every question i cant answer. The lawyer figured he couldnt lose and the blonde accepted.

The lawyer proceeded to ask his first question, "What's the distance between the earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

The blonde then asked her question, "What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down with three?"

The lawyer was searching his laptop for hours and calling everyone he knows to find the answer. Finally he gave up and handed the blonde $50.

After the plane landed, he decided to ask her the answer to her question.

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5

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What are the best Airplane puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Airplane? Well, here are the best jokes about Airplane to have fun with.

Joko Jokes