Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Airplane Crash Jokes with Friends.
How often do airplanes c**...?
Just once.
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Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?
As an airplane is about to c**..., a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
As airplanes about to c**......
As an airplane is about to c**..., a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
I just picked up the Germanwings iPhone app...
When I switched on airplane mode, it locked me out of the phone and then crashed.
I used to tell a lot of jokes about airplane crashes...
...but they never landed well.
I told an airplane joke to my co-worker.
Sadly, it flew right over their head. (It wasn't a 9-11 joke, those c**... and burn anyways)
NASA CHICKEN CANON
NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.
British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements are made, and a cannon is sent to the British engineers.
When the cannon goes off, the engineers stand shocked as the chicken crashes into the shatterproof shield, smashes it to smithereens, blasts through the control console, snaps the pilot's backrest in two, and embeds itself in the back wall of the cabin.
The horrified Brits send the Americans a report of the disastrous results, along with an urgent request for suggests on improving the windshield design.
The American engineers respond with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."
Donald Trump and his two bodyguards are on a crashing airplane. There are only two parachutes.
Trump declares "I am the President of the United States and also the smartest one. It's unbelievable." He grabs a parachute and jumps.
One of the bodyguards says "Hey, man, you have a wife and kids. Take the parachute."
The other replies "There are enough parachutes for both of us, Tim. Mr Trump took my knapsack."
An airplane crashes onto an old cemetery
The police reports over 3.500 dead people
There are 11 blondes...
hanging on the wings of an airplane. 5 on one wing, and 6 on another, and due to this, theres an imbalance and the plane will c**.... So they all decided that one of the blonde has to let go, so the wings are balanced.
After a lot of discussion, one brave blonde decides that she'll sacrifice herself for the others. She lets go, and the rest of the 10 blondes start clapping, applauding her for her bravery.......
Hope you guys like it, nd sorry if its a xpost.
A small airplane crashes into the ground in a small town, and some curious locals go to the c**... site to see what happened.
Some of the locals start digging to see if there are any survivors trapped in the plane.
A few hours in, they give up the search and one of the locals goes back to his house and tells his wife what happened.
He tells his wife that there were over 1000 bodies found in the c**... site, but no survivors were found.
Oh my god, where did it c**...? the wife asked in shock.
In the town cemetery. the husband replied.
You can explore airplane crash engine failure reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean airplane crash crashed dad jokes. There are also airplane crash puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Make me feel like a woman.
The captain of an airplane has just announced that the plane will run out of fuel and will be forced to make a c**... landing. He asks everyone to call their loved ones now as things are looking bleak. As the passengers become more and more uneasy a lady jumps up, rips off her shirt, and screams "Someone make me feel like a woman one last time!" A male passenger jumps up, rips off his shirt, and hands it to her along with an iron.
Did you hear about the airplane that crashed into a cemetery?
They recovered 12,000 bodies.
Lone Survivor
The rescue team finds the crashed airplane. The lone survivor is chewing on a bone,with a huge pile of bones next to him. The rescuers are shocked. He says "You can't judge me for this, I had to survive." The rescue leader says "But, Christ, man ... your plane went down two days ago!"
I got a new German cell phone
I put it on airplane mode. It locked me out and then crashed
Putin and Medvedeev talking
- We need to change these time zones, they are giving me a big headache, says Putin
-Why? asks Medvedeev
-I'm calling Beijing to give my congrats for their national holiday and they tell me it's tomorrow. I call Warsaw to express my condolences for the airplane c**... in Smolensk and they tell me the plane didn't take off yet!
A feminist woman is on an airplane that's about to c**..., she stands up and says "Before I die I want to feel like a real woman, is anyone here man enough to help me?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt and tosses it towards her "Here honey, iron this."
As an airplane is about to c**...
a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
What did the airplane say to the ground when it crashed?
Boeing
Have you heard of the TV show about the airplane?
It sorta crashed and burned, but I think its because the pilot wasn't very good.
I bought a german mobile phone yesterday.
I turned it on airplane mode and it locked me out then crashed
An airplane carrying politicians crashed in a farmers field...
When the police showed up they asked the farmer of there were any survivors
He said " I buried all of them, a cpuple said we're still alive, but them politicians like to lie."
So I put my phone on airplane mode...
So I put my phone on airplane mode and it crashed...
It must've been hijacked.
Polish Moose Hunt
Two Polish hunters named Stosh and Thad, hired a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose. The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both. And he had exactly the same airplane as yours." Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded.
However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness. Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Stosh and Thad survived the c**.... After climbing out of the wreckage, Thad asked Stosh, "Any idea where we are?"
Stosh replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
Airplane Humor
I'm reading a book about a man who stopped an airplane from crashing.
It's pretty uplifting.
They say that cows kill more people than airplane crashes...
It's true, my ex once chased me with a knife.
High school plays are a lot like airplanes.
People only want to hear about them if they c**... and burn.
I bought a German phone the other day
when I put it into airplane mode it locked me out and crashed.
I think my knockoff airplane simulator game was made by extremists
It crashed and asked me if I'd like to send a t**... report.
Today an airplane crashed into a local cemetery
Detectives on scene say that thousands of bodies have been recovered.
Do you know why the ISIS guys dont use airplane mode in their phones?
Because it crashes
FAA study of black boxes found in domestic US, fatal, small airplane crashes shows 98% say "may day"
remaining 2% are pilots from Tennessee who say, "hey good buddy, hold my beer and watch this"
Why did the wife of an airplane c**... search and rescue worker leave him?
He couldn't find her black box
Why didn't the airplane pilot swim to safety after the plane c**... in Egypt?
Because he was in de Nile.
Just downloaded the new Germanwings app...
...but now, when i put my phone in airplane mode, it locks me out and crashes.
