Following is our collection of Airlines jokes which are very funny. There are some airlines twa jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these airlines southwest airlines puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
That way they can beat their passengers and no one will ever find out.
Spirit airlines.
....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu
A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.
So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "yes she did."
"Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you."
Their luggage has landed safely in Manchester.
Please spare a thought and your sympathy for the man who told his wife he was going to China on Malaysian Airlines flight MH370...
And now can't come out of his girlfriend's apartment.
On the rocks
Two lazy vultures had procrastinated on flying south for the winter until the first frost hit, then they got worried. "We better catch an airplane to Mexico, lets go to the airport!" So they take off down the road, and as luck would have it, they come across two dead road-killed opossums, that had started to get nice and smelly, just like vultures like them. "What luck, we better take these with us, I heard the airlines don't offer meals on the flight anymore." So they each grab a dead opossum, tuck it under their wing, and head on to the terminal. They walk up to the ticket counter and tell they lady "We'd like two tickets to Cancun, please."
"Very well," she says, "Will you be checking any bags?"
"No," say the vultures, holding up the dead opossum carcasses, "we only have carrion."
The first one received no response and the second one was shot down in flames.
but I was too scared my computer was gonna crash
They both think they can fly.
You can explore airlines alitalia reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean airlines jet dad jokes. There are also airlines puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I hear Malaysia Airlines is looking for people.
^im ^so ^sorry
A Malaysian Airlines baggage claim.
Didn't Even Leave The Airport
Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, 'What trip?'
The last thing you want to do is get on a plane that doesn't go all the way.
...And that's why I am banned from flying united airlines.
Because they allow 1 free carrion
I mean what's the point if they aren't going to go all the way.
I figured I could just wash up on shore.
I told him: "Don't expect luggage to arrive".
He later informed me his luggage didn't even leave the airport.
They never go all the way.
But everyone already United Airlined me to it.
1)Wearing leggings
2)Having an United Airlines ticket
-Dan Regan
It was a drag
Beats me.
United Airlines.
A man went to the United Airlines counter. The ticket agent asked, Sir, do you have reservations?
He replied, Reservations? Of course I have reservations, but I'm flying anyway.
At least they won't have any more problems with overbooking.
...because they have the longest karma train that I've ever seen.
They're really gonna have to have unbeatable prices!
"Since we cannot beat our competitors, we have resorted to beating our customers".
United Airlines beat everyone...
I think it's time to apply for a United Airlines Spokesperson position!
Con Air.
Beats by Dr.
But someone already beat me to the punch.
If you can't beat them, join them.
-English saying
If you can't join them, beat them.
-United Airlines over booking policy
Rodney King, that is.
You can't beat that!
To be treated like a United Airlines customer
They're all getting fired, so drinking on a Tuesday is acceptable.
Chinese Takeout
chinese takeout
You take a hit, then a long drag and soon you wake up not knowing where you are.
"One drag a day keeps the doctors away!"
He said they punched his rights out.
so to save everyone some energy I bought the horse a ticket to fly United.
One has dragons and the other has drag-offs
But it got carried away
They were voted best in Chinese takeaway!
You can't pull a live rabbit out of a United jet.
Because they come pre-beaten.
Largest bill for Chinese take out to date
No, he simply vanished into Finnair
If she was on another airline there might have been a doctor on board.
Because their planes are eighteen years old and never been serviced.
Virgin Airlines
Because of the recent Arctic cold snap. Delta Airlines has been hiring de-icers in their Atlanta hub for the expected crowds at SuperBowl. Most of the jobs have been going to Flat Earthers, because by definition, they don't believe in *Global* Warming but are fine with Plane Warming.
United airlines.
He says to the bartender Can I have a draft beer?"
The bartender says "Sure thing. That'll be .50¢"
He replies "50 cents? That's really cheap!"
The bartender looks up and finishes with ."....and it'll be $3 for the glass, $4 if you just stand, $8 if you want to sit down, and $3 each time to use the restroom"
They don't land.
She said "I'm not sure... it's up in the air."
I'm sorry, that joke probably didn't land.
He lost the case.
I lost the case.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the airlines airline jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working airlines aeroplane piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.