The Best 25 Airline Passengers Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Airline Passengers jokes. There are some airline passengers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these airline passengers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Airline Passengers Jokes and Puns

Malaysian Airlines and United should merge

That way they can beat their passengers and no one will ever find out.

On a flight from Dublin, Ireland to Boston, the chief flight attendant made an announcement...

"Due to a terrible mistake by the airline's caterer, there are only 80 dinners instead of the 225 required to feed all the passengers on board. To fix the situation, we are offering unlimited drinks to anybody who is willing to give up their meal".

Two hours before landing, another announcement was made. "There are still 80 meals available if anybody is hungry".

Hear the one about the bald guy getting bumped to business class after passengers made fun of him?

Talk about the advantages of a reseating airline.

Pilot Choice

As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.

All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.

"Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose."

Airline Safety

Taxiing down the tarmac, the 747 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After a two hour delay, it finally took off.

Barry, a worried passenger asked the steward, "What was the problem?"

"Well, the pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine", explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."


Control system theory joke

As Polish airline is flying into New York City, the captain announces over the address system, for those of you on the right side of the aircraft, you can see the Statue of Liberty out your window.

Immediately everyone in the seats on the left crowded into the right side, leaning over the other passengers to try to see out the window. Because of the sudden shift in weight, the pilot lost control, and the plane crashed, killing everyone aboard.

The official report said that the accident was due to instability caused by poles in the right half plane.

Finally some good news for the passengers of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370.

Their luggage has landed safely in Manchester.

Trump proposed new regulations for the airline industry...

Because even Hitler didn't remove passengers with reserved seats.

Airline stewardess: Would you like some headphones?

Passenger: Yes, of course I would! How did you know my name was phones?

I was on a flight a few weeks ago, and our descent was very turbulent, followed by a hard landing that was quite jarring.

Once on the ground, our flight attendant announced, "Well, folks, that wasn't my fault, and it wasn't the captain's fault, but it was definitely the as-phalt."

The passenger reactions were a mix of chuckles and groans.

Shoutout to our Southwest Airlines flight crew from BUR-LAS flight 4606, good job keeping things safe!

At the low cost airliner

Flight attendant: would you like a drink?

Passenger: what are the options?

Flight attendant: yes or no

You can explore airline passengers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean airline passengers dad jokes. There are also airline passengers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Air Postal Service

A man sets down three pieces of luggage at a very famous **International Airlines** (*that shall not be named*) check-in counter and says, "I want the brown bag to go to London, the black one to go to Paris," he said. "And keep the third bag here till my return from Australia next week for pick up."

The check-in clerk blinked. A supervisor standing behind him overheard the request and came up. "I am sorry sir, but we are not the **post office**," he said, "we can't do that."

"Why not?" the irate passenger said, raising his voice, "That's what you did the last time!"

A massive rabbit aboard a United Airlines flight turns to the passenger sitting next to him and says

"Ehhh, what's up Doc?"

Airline passenger safety brief

In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from above. If you're traveling with a child, please fit their mask first. If you have more than 1 child with you, please pick your favorite now.

Did you hear that United Airlines just updated their motto?

"United Airlines: Beating our competition, AND our passengers, since 1926!"

Why didn't the airline passenger check his vulture?

Because it's a carrion bird.

I'm pretty sure the list of passengers to be ejected from that United Airlines flight was...

...doctored.

TIL the Airbus A380, the world's largest passenger airliner, shares a type rating with yo momma!

Clearly we need more nerdy yo momma jokes.

My grandfather was an airline pilot

Just last year he passed away peacefully in his sleep. That's exactly how I'd like to die, Not like is screaming passengers in the back..


Did you hear the latest United Airlines joke? Passengers thought it was hilarious.

Had em rolling in the aisles

Yep, still milking it....

So there is a First class only Indian Airline.

Their motto is "We will treat you passengers like Cattle"

Why is it more fun to fly passenger airplanes than cargo airplanes?

Cargo airplanes never get hijacked, which makes flying passenger airliners WAY more exciting.

A passenger flying the Dutch Airline KLM asked the Captain :

"Captain, what do you think is hard, flying a plane or ruling a country?"

"Well that question's so easy I'll let my copilot answer it!"

A passenger piled his luggage on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the ticket agent:

"I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the large bag sent to Denver and the two small ones to Cincinnati."

"I'm sorry sir, but we can't do that," said the ticket agent.

"That's good to hear because that's where they ended up the last time I flew this route."

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

β€œAll set back here, Captain,” came the reply, β€œexcept the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the airline passengers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working airline passengers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes