Following is our collection of Airline jokes which are very funny. There are some airline airliner jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these airline inflight puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Sadly, he lost his case.
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks "any baggage to check?" The photon replies "No, I'm traveling light."
He replies, "I haven't talked to my parents in 3 years, I have depression, and I'm still a virgin."
but I still have to shoot the pilot.
The first one got no response and the second one was shot down in flames
>Does the airline company charge you for flying next to good looking men?
She responded with
>Yes, but this time I decided not to pay
Said the Malaysian shark.
a receeding airline.... bada boom! The little bros joke book is pure gold haha
#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.
*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*
*
I've replied with a link to the Wikipedia page about Christopher Columbus.
You can explore airline alitalia reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean airline overbooked dad jokes. There are also airline puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
for their convenience all men are already sorted into different classes.
She says his personality is really down to earth.
Yes, Sir?
I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie and there are no windows blinds so I can't sleep.
Captain, shut up and land the plane.
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 747 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After a two hour delay, it finally took off.
Barry, a worried passenger asked the steward, "What was the problem?"
"Well, the pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine", explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
They are putting the pilot together right now.
Their prophets are soaring
I was at the airport the other day to pick someone up but their flight was delayed so I wandered around a bit. I noticed a big scene at one of the airline check ins. there was this agitated vulture holding a couple of dead possums arguing loudly with a whole group of ticket agents. I kinda felt bad for the guy but the airline did have a one carrion policy.
Delta
Delta
Delta
After she finished the announcement, she spots a man running down the concourse towards the gate. He runs through the boarding area, hurdles a row of empty chairs, and stops at the podium, almost out of breath.
"You just made it!" she says. "Do you have your boarding pass?"
"Oh, this isn't my flight," the man says. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm vegan."
Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, 'What trip?'
The History Channel is planning a new series, Airline Tragedies.
They are putting the pilot together as I write this.
Sir, do you have any checked baggage?'
Photon replies, 'No, I'm travelling light.'
Call me crazy but once this wall goes up I've got a gut-feeling I think that's one industry that will really be taking off.
She stops an airline pilot and asks him, amongst other things, when he last had sexual intercourse. He replies 1958. Now, knowing airline pilots, the researcher is surprised and queries this. Well, says the pilot, it's only 2110 now.
(Credit, John Cleese c. 1991)
A receding airline.
It was a drag
Because even Hitler didn't remove passengers with reserved seats.
nothing but knuckle sandwiches.
If she was on another airline there might have been a doctor on board.
I did that today, and I'm not allowed back on that airline.
Ever the charmer, I asked, Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?
Yes, she said, but I wasn't willing to pay.
The stewardess says, Would you like dinner?
He says, What are my choices?
She says, Yes or no.
...He lost his case
Pretty Plane if you ask me.
You don't have much of a case, he replied.
We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting -- they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his funeral.
I did and apparently will not be allowed on this airline again...
No one wants a receding airline...
I have no idea if airplanes can actually travel in reverse, just go with me folks ;)
Apparently he lost his case
Who'd want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?
so I asked my lawyer if I could sue them... he said, "you don't have much of a case".
Talk about the advantages of a reseating airline.
Because most of their employees take off.
They lost my case.
He lost the case
It was a Wurst-Käse scenario.
So he often says, right before take off "Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to thank you for choosing Jet Blue and would also like to thank the wonderful flight attendants for their professionalism and dedication to trying to make your flight as safe and comfortable as possible. However, you won't find any of those people on this flight. So sit back and please fasten your seat belts as we will shortly begin our ascent"
The woman on the other end of the phone replies: "Just a minute". The blonde thanks her and hangs up the phone.
Unfortunately he lost his case
I unfortunately lost the case.
He lost his case
I asked, Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?
Yes, she replied, but I wasn't willing to pay.
It's pretty plane.
Be a billionaire and invest in an airline company.
This is not a joke. I think it's really plane
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again.
She approaches a handsome, uniformed captain and asks, "for my article, can you please tell me the last time you made love?
It was 1959 , says the pilot.
"Oh wow, that long ago?" she responds, "I thought you airline pilots held a reputation as real ladies men"
Pilot looks at his watch and says "Well, considering it's only 2025 now..."
Unfortunataly lost his case.
He disappeared into Finnair.
He said, You don't have much of a case.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the airline airbus jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working airline southwest airlines piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.