The Best 47 Aircraft Jokes

Following is our collection of Aircraft jokes which are very funny. There are some aircraft airways jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these aircraft aeroplane puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Aircraft Jokes and Puns

Future aircraft will be piloted by a man and a dog...

The man is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to keep the man from touching the controls.

The Amazing City of Paris

During a trip to France, my sister sat next to me on the aircraft. Looking outside the window, I couldn't help but sigh at the amazing beauty of Paris.

Me: "Ah... How I'd love to be born in Paris."

Her: "I wouldn't."

Confused, I asked her: "Why not?"

Her: "Because I don't speak French."

How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier?

The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!

What is the friendliest kind of aircraft?

A Hello-copter.

What do women and aircraft share in common?

They both have cockpits


What's common to the cockpit of a modern fighter aircraft and the inside of a headhunter's hut?

The heads-up display

Why did the Wright brothers turn their aircraft 90 degrees west when their dad walked in the cockpit?

because three Wrights make a left.

Why do they like to watch Star Wars on the big screen on aircraft carriers?

They're all about force projection.

I'm feeling confident about my new business selling amphibious aircraft...

It's going to be plane sailing!

Why did hitlers aircraft preform so badly after the invasion of russia?

because they were stalin'

What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly?

A herrocopter

You can explore aircraft aviation reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean aircraft airborne dad jokes. There are also aircraft puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Did you hear about that new film on the B-17 aircraft?

It bombed

What do you call a nautical plunderer who assists with the flight of an aircraft?

A co-pirate

What is the worlds friendliest aircraft?

A hellocopter!

Did you know that Polish aircraft do not have seats on the right side of airplane?

Because poles in the right hand plane are unstable.

My friend is obsessed with aircraft carriers

He warships them

I was at an airport recently and there was a aircraft that was pure white.

Looked pretty plane to me.

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

Wanna hear a physics pun?

If an aircraft always takes off at an angle, doesn't that make it an inclined plane?


United has a new offer out!

You can get thrown off their aircraft for free!
It's absolutely unbeatable!

My great grandfather once worked in a WW2 aircraft factory.

*"Our factory closed down on account of increased B-24 production"*, he said.

*"Why is that?"*, I asked. *"Did the military favor the B-24 over your aircraft?"*

*"The military hated the B-24!"*, he snapped back. *"It always flew above flak and our Focke-Wulfs couldn't hit them either."*

The former governor of Alaska is contributing to the manufacturing of new unmanned aircraft for the Afghanistan War.

These quadricopters are going to be named "Strikekirts", which reads the same forwards and backwards.

Why?

It's because they are Palindrones.

What's the raddest aircraft?

The *hella*copter

My grandfather was a World War 2 Vet

In a single day during the Battle of Britain he was responsible for the destruction of 8 German aircraft killing 32 German airmen.

Easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe had ever had.

A Navy ship hailed a civilian at sea...

**Navy**: We ask that you divert your course 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.

**Civilian**: Negative. Recommend that *you* divert 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.

**Navy**: This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

**Civilian**: Negative. I say again, recommend you change course.

**Navy**: This is the aircraft carrier *Enterprise*! We are a large warship of the U.S. Navy! Divert your course *immediately*!

**Civilian**: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

What did one aircraft say to another midflight ?

Nothing. Their TCAS were off.

I often hear of aircraft been taken out of action by bird strikes.

What I want to know is, what does their union even want?

Newsflash! A small, 2-seat aircraft crashed in a graveyard in Poland.

Rescuers have found 115 dead so far and expect to find hundreds more as they continue digging.

45000 feet above the Atlantic, the aircraft engine fails

And the captain declares an emergency. Everyone aboard the plane was scared shitless. A passenger sitting next to the pastor loses it and screams, 'Don't just sit there, do something religious!'.

The pastor promptly took up a collection.....

I once saw a sign that said "Speed limit enforced by aircraft."

I'm pretty sure if you're getting pulled over by an F-16, you deserve to be driving that fast.

Charlotte Bronte wrote a horror novel

Jane Scare

Emily wrote one about aircraft turbulence

Wuthering Flights

(I do apologise for this)

I recently started an airline company selling cheap tickets on poorly maintained aircraft

It still hasn't taken off

The US Military today confirmed that two marijuana users were killed when an aircraft crashed into a house shortly after takeoff.

Experts are saying it's the first recorded instance of killing two stoners with one bird.

Did you hear about the French explorer who crashed his aircraft into a Canadian lake?

He drank too much Champlain.

What's the callsign of an aircraft carrying the president of Switzerland?

Tobler One

Science sends aircraft to the moon

Religion sends aircraft into buildings

One of the Monty Python team has invented an unmanned aircraft that does sky-writing that's spelled the same backwards as forwards...

It's a Palin drone...

Light aircraft crashes in Scotland!

Two kilt

Why is an aircraft painted?

To prevent it from looking **plane**.



A few Indian pilots went to Russia for the training of modern MiG-27 aircraft

Russian instructor:

Press this button to takeoff.

Press this button to turn the plane right.

Press this button to turn the plane left.

Pressing this button to go up.



At the end of the training, Indian pilots stood up and asked.



But how will we bring the plane down?



The instructor took a deep breath and said "Do not worry about it and leave this job to Pakistan"

How do the Taliban power their aircraft?

Wind Turbans

The FAA has determined that it will never need to ground a Boeing aircraft again.

The planes can clearly ground themselves!

One flight passenger to another: "The pilot is an idiot, he believes his aircraft was a communist leader." "What makes you think so?" asks the other.

"I overheard him yelling 'The plane is Stalin! The plane is Stalin!'"

The aircraft carrier captain saw a light whilst at sea

"Tell the signalman to warn that boat to turn to port to avoid a collision."

But the light flashes back "\*YOU\* turn to port to avoid a collision."

The captain, incensed, sends the message "This is a 200 kiloton aircraft carrier with 50 warplanes, atomic bombs and cruise missiles! \*YOU\* turn to the left to avoid a collision!"

The light flashes back "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship.

He turns on his signal lamp and sends, Change your course, 10 degrees west.

The light signals back, Change yours, 10 degrees east.

The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, I'm a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.

The light signals back, I'm a Seaman First Class. You must change your course, sir.

Now the captain is mad. He signals, I'm an aircraft carrier. I'm not changing my course.

The light signals back a final message: I'm a lighthouse. Your call.

I maintain my car with the same level of diligence and care that I would maintain an aircraft.

Which is why they won't let me maintain aircraft.

With the massive downturn in international travel, aircraft manufacturer Fokker has started developing planes for the military. Their latest is a small, super stealthy reconnaissance plane that is almost undetectable!

It's called the Sneaky Little Fokker.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the aircraft pilot jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working aircraft aircraft carrier uss lincoln piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes