Air Travel Jokes
17 air travel jokes and hilarious air travel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about air travel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Air Travel Short Jokes
Short air travel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The air travel humour may include short air plane jokes also.
- It's not true that air travel has become a circus. Circuses may feature the same level of animal cruelty, sadness and clowns as air travel, but circuses actually start on time.
- A man in Victorian clothes just appeared out of thin air and handed me a fistful of herbs. I think he might be a Thyme traveller.
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Air Travel One Liners
Which air travel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with air travel? I can suggest the ones about airlines flight and aviation.
- Vaccines are a gateway drug. To concerts and air travel.
- Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
- What do you call it when Michael J Fox travels by air? Shakes on a Plane.
- How to Jews travel? By air.
Hilarious Air Travel Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about air travel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean airlines jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make air travel pranks.
Charlie the Street Car Conductor
Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."
A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peacekeeping mission.
During a briefing on landmines, the captain asked for questions.
Our intrepid soldier raised his hand and asked, "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't the French enjoy travelling to Northern Ireland?
Because they don't like the smell of Derry air.
A guy rang up to air port and said: "
Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico?
The lady replied "A moment..."
Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
A young woman, her mother, and two men travel on a train. The train enters a tunnel. The sound of a kiss is heard, followed quickly by a slap.
The mother thinks: One of the men kissed my daughter, but she defended her honor.
The daughter thinks: One of the men tried to kiss me, but kissed my mother in the darkness instead, and she slapped him on the face!
The boss thinks: This idiot kissed the young lady and she tried to slap him, but she missed in the dark and hit me instead!
The other man thinks: Haha! Gotcha! I made a kissing sound in the air and slapped my boss on his face!
An Famous Statistician
A famous statistician would never travel by airplane, because he had studied air travel and estimated that the probability of there being a bomb on any given flight was one in a million, and he was not prepared to accept these odds.
One day, a colleague met him at a conference far from home. "How did you get here, by train?"
"No, I flew"
"What about the possibility of a bomb?"
"Well, I began thinking that if the odds of one bomb are 1:million, then the odds of two bombs are (1/1,000,000) x (1/1,000,000). This is a very, very small probability, which I can accept. So now I bring my own bomb along!"
Classic joke for our Muslim friends today
There were two white christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.
As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then John said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.'' Then Mike said ''No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm gonna be honest''.
So John and Mike went to the Mosque ahead and were greeted by an Arab Muslim, who asked what their names were.
John thought of a Muslim name and said, 'My name is Muhammad'. And Mike said 'My name is Mike'.
The Arab man said 'Hello Mike.' And told these other men to take Mike and give him food and drink.
Then he turned to John and said, 'Salaam Muhammad. Ramadan Mubarak! (Hello Muhammad, Happy Ramadan)
So once there were 2 hunters lost in the woods...
After a day of traveling they were starting to run out of food and water that they had brought with them on their hunting trip. One of the hunters says that he has an idea.
"How about we shoot up into the air and we stay in this one place. Maybe someone will come after us."
The other hunter agrees.
The first hunter fires once up into the air. After about an hour the woods are still quiet so he fires once more. Every hour he does this until they reach nightfall. No one came that day and it was dark so they set up camp.
The next day comes. The other hunter now tries. Once every hour he fires up into the air. The day is starting to turn to dusk again and no one has came for them yet. The hunter looks at the second and asks him,
"So have you heard any movement? We are all out of food and water now."
to which the second hunter replies,
"No its still quiet, but it better work this time because I'm down to my last arrow"