Air Pump Jokes
8 air pump jokes and hilarious air pump puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about air pump that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Air Pump Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good air pump joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
What do you call an accordion player who can play any song by ear? A walking jukebox with a built-in air pump.
My wife said the TPMS light came on today.
Her: I just stood at the 7-Eleven because I remembered they had an air pump.
Me: Did you have enough quarters? Isn't it like a dollar or buck'fifty?
Her: It was two dollars!
Me: well, that's inflation for you!
(True Story! And a great cake day gift!)
Why is it more expensive to use air pumps nowadays?
Inflation
An air pump (boy) and a tire (girl) went out on a date, but it didn't go too well
He just couldn't stop pressuring her
Have you seen the price of the air pump machine to put air in car tyres has gone up from 25cents to 50cents!
Now that's inflation.
A man needs to inflate his tyres...
...so he stops at a petrol station, and finds that the air pump needs a token from the petrol station shop in order to work.
The man goes in and asks for one of the tokens.
"That will be 25p" says the cashier, who he pays and gets the token.
The man returns to his car and starts inflating his tyres, and swears as he realises the machine ran out of time half way through.
He goes back into the shop and asks for another token.
"That will be 50p" says the cashier.
"What?!" exclaims the man "It was 25p a minute ago!"
The cashier shrugs and replies "That's inflation for you"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Nineteen!
A guy gets fired from his job, and as he's walking home, head down, he hears someone yelling "Nineteen! Nineteen!" He looks around, and some w**... is jumping up and down in the middle of the street, pumping his fist in the air. "Nineteen! Nineteen!" Curious and with nothing better to do, the man walks over and asks him what's going on.
"Oh, I do this every day," the w**... says cheerfully. "It's great! You should try it."
"Nah... I just got fired and I really don't think anything can cheer me up."
"C'mon, just give it one try."
So the guy reluctantly agrees, stands next to him and half-heartedly jumps in the air, saying "Nineteen."
"No, no, you have to really commit to it. Like this: NINETEEN! NINETEEN!"
"OK, fine... Nineteen! Nineteen! ... You know, this really is making me feel better! NINETEEN! NINETEEN!" Just then, he makes an extra-high jump, and the w**... quickly bends down and yanks the manhole cover out from under him. "AAAaaaaaahhhh...." *splash*
The w**... puts the manhole cover back, looks around, jumps up in the air and yells "TWENTY!"
An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland.
They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank.
The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out.
When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"
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