Air Jokes
195 air jokes and hilarious air puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about air that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you want to know the secret of a good laugh? Check out these hilarious air jokes! From hot air to fresh air to smoky air and spirit air - these jokes will rise up through the airy skies and make sure you're in good spirits.
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Funniest Air Short Jokes
Short air jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The air humour may include short rises jokes also.
- Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why. He said "inflation"
- Do you remember when air was free at the gas station, and now it's $1.50? You know why? Inflation
Holy smokes this blew up, THANK YOU all for the awards and the silver!! - My brother just broke the record by downing 22 Russian jets in Ukraine He'll forever be remembered as the worst mechanic in the Russian Air Force
- I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. I think I have telekinieces.
- What are the options? Air Hostess to passenger:
"Sir would you like to have dinner?"
Passenger: "What are the options?"
Air Hostess: "Yes and No." - Me and my wife recently started using Only Fans. Because our air conditioner broke.
And this will definitely help pay for a new air conditioner. - I've just invented a telepathically controlled air freshener Makes scents when you think about it.
- Why did France give the Statue of Liberty to the USA? Because the French had no use for a statue with only one hand in the air.
- I went to the National Air and Space museum in DC... There was a lot more stuff in there than I'd expected
- After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt She felt the same way
So I turned on the air conditioner
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Air One Liners
Which air one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with air? I can suggest the ones about sky and pollution.
- {air horn sound} {second air horn sound}
Me: this isn't deodorant - What lies on its back, 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede.
- I was cleaning one of my finger guns. I accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
- Strippers don't have air conditioning in their homes. ............Onlyfans
- Why do people in Beijing smoke so many cigarettes? To get a breath of filtered air.
- Which of the American forces is the most patriotic? The air force, because its US AF.
- Putting air in your tires used to be free now its costs a dollar... Its called inflation.
- My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she's hot, but honestly I'm not a fan.
- I don't get the purpose of an air filter It just sits there and collects dust.
- People who have Only fans. What is stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?
- Why does it cost $1.50 now to put air in my tires? Inflation?
- My girlfriend doesn't like it when I ask her to blow cool air on me She is not a fan.
- Tesla released a car air freshener last week... They call it Elon's Musk.
- My Grandfather invented the cold air balloon It never really took off.
- I quite enjoy blowing air around a room. In fact, I'm a big fan.
Hot Air Jokes
Here is a list of funny hot air jokes and even better hot air puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- 2023 is a bad year to be a hot air balloon pilot without a radio. credit to iBeej for this one!
- We should send all of Earth's politicians to colonize Mars. All that hot air would make it habitible quickly!
- My wife asked me why hot air balloon rides are so expensive. I said "inflation".
- I tried to start a hot air balloon company but it never really took off.
- It was so hot in Dallas today... I saw a crackhead put copper wire back into an air conditioner.
- What kind of monkey can fly? A hot air baboon
- TIFU in a hot air balloon ... It was amazing.
- So I invested in a hot air balloon company... And it's really taken off
- What kind of monkeys fly? Hot air baboons
- What does a hot air balloon and a homeless person have in common No visible means of support
Air Force Jokes
Here is a list of funny air force jokes and even better air force puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What`s the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS? How would I know, I`m just a US Air Force Operator.
- Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see their air Force.
- What's the most american US military branch? the Air Force. They're USAF.
- The Russian Navy has announced that it's commissioning glass-bottom warships ...so they can keep an eye on the Russian Air Force.
- What's the most patriotic branch of the United States military? Air Force.
Because they are United States AF. - What do you call a Marine wearing an Air Force uniform? Artificial intelligence
- What do you call a deer that's enlisted in the Air Force? A bombar*deer*.
- The Air Force is the most patriotic branch of the military Cuz they USAF
- After being hit by an airstrike from the Turkish air force, a Syrian leader was quoted as saying... "As God is my witness, I thought the Turkish couldn't fly..."
- What do you call a Mexican fighter pilot? Air Force Juan.
Air Plane Jokes
Here is a list of funny air plane jokes and even better air plane puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you milk a sheep? Sell headphone for $549.
- A plane full of Japanese car parts just exploded in mid-air Apparently it's raining Datsun cogs
- Did you know that there are more airplanes in the ocean than there are submarines in the air? I mean... it's plane to sea.
- Life has 3 levels of existence... Pain and pleasure in the physical plane. Enlightenment in the spiritual plane. And no leg room in the air plane.
- After a plane lands, a man asks the flight attendant. "Is it chilly outside?"
"No sir, I'm afraid we are in Buenos Aires." - When I was in the air force, I put down over a dozen planes in air \-You were a fighting pilot?
\-No, I was a mechanic. - My buddy just became an Air Marshal. He's a plane clothes cop.
- I hate flying air Iberia After all.. the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plane.
- A German airman on the air forces during WW2 If you see a white plane, it's American; if it's black it's RAF (Royal Air Force). If you see no planes at all, that's the Luftwaffe.
- I was looking for the best price for a flight from the UK to the US and found Air India is the cheapest.. Problem is i'm not sure if I can hold on to the outside of the plane for that long.
Air Conditioner Jokes
Here is a list of funny air conditioner jokes and even better air conditioner puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Strippers don't use air conditioners... Only fans
- What is the similitude between and air conditioner and a computer? Opening windows makes both less efficient.
- I used to be a big metal fan. But, with recent revelations, I have discovered that I, am an air conditioner.
- Whats cooler than OnlyFans? Only Air Conditioners
- A great joke that only air conditioners will get! On second thought, I'm not gonna say it. I can already tell you're not a fan.
- I didn't get a warranty on my air conditioner, But it would be cool if I did.
- For all of you people that have Only Fans… When do you plan to upgrade to air conditioners?
- How is a computer like an air conditioner? They both stop working properly when you open windows.
- How are Computers and Air Conditioners similar? They both stop working when you open windows.
- I don't like air conditioner jokes I'm not a fan
Fresh Air Jokes
Here is a list of funny fresh air jokes and even better fresh air puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've spent so long trying to think of a synonym for 'ambitious' that I've given myself a headache. Aspiring?
No thanks, I'll just get some fresh air, that'll clear it up. - Why did the man smoke a cigarette in Beijing? To get some fresh air
- What is it called when the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air tells a lie? Will's myth.
- Why do people in China smoke so much? They need fresh air
- I have a new recipe that's gluten free, sugar free, no-fat, non-GMO, pesticide free, low-calorie, vegan, kosher and paleo-friendly. It's a real breath of fresh air.
- Did you hear about the HVAC technicians who got into an argument? At first it was heated, but they got some fresh air then things cooled off
- Smoking is actually a good thing for me Look how often I have to go outside into the fresh air
- Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh
- Why did JFK get some fresh air? Because he wanted to clear his head.
- I love video games with a female protagonist. It's a breath of fresh air when you're married to a female antagonist.
Hilarious Air Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about air you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hot air jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make air pranks.
Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon
Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon and it's starting to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing.
Putin throws out a bottle of v**... and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Biden throws out an AR-15 and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Zelensky throws out Putin and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway and looks at Biden smugly as they c**... anyways due to the massive weight of Zelensky's b**....
If Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Barr, Stephen Miller, and Jared Kushner we're on Air Force One together and the plane were to suddenly c**..., who would survive?
The United States of America.
A flight attendant sees a suspicious couple on board...
She decides to report it to the pilot immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! The female passenger looks pretty frightened and the man she is with looks dangerous!"
The pilot responds, "Patricia, I've told you before. This is Air Force One..."
An African man visits his friend in the US
I just flew in yesterday the African man says And boy are my arms tired!
You know, that's kind of an old joke here in America replied his friend.
Joke? The African man said. I've been holding my hands in the air yelling 'don't shoot' ever since I got to this d**... country .
A man brings home flowers to his wife
A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She's so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air and spreads them.
Her husband confused looks down and goes "What's that for?"
His wife replies "For the flowers of course"
He thinks for a moment and asks "Don't we have a vase?"
A bear walks into a bar.
The bartender asks whata ya have there big fella? The bear says " Give me a .........................................................beer." The bartender says" What's with the big pause?" The bear throws his arms up in the air and says " I DON'T KNOW I WAS BORN WITH THEM."
Frank farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out.
He goes and sits outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, Frank, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?"
I f**... in class and the teacher threw me out. The principle asks him again, Well then, why are you laughing?
Because those idiots are sitting in the class smelling my f**... while I'm outside in the fresh air."
Mommy, I saw you jumping on daddy's belly last night.
Yes, we were trying to get rid of daddy's big belly. I jump on him so all the air would come out.
Aha, I know why it isn't working then – the woman from next door comes every afternoon when you go shopping and blows all the air back into him again.
An assistant to Donald Trump
>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.**
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.**
**It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!**
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!**
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"**
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**
My wife wasn't happy.
True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"
My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"
I replied, "my life."
The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car's gas tank and tires...
She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, "Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!"
I responded, "Inflation."
Obama, Putin and Merkel at the baltic sea
Obama declares: Our submarines can stay submerged for ten days before needing air.
Putin promptly says: That's nothing. Russian submarines can stay submerged for up to a month.
Merkel is embarrassed and stays silent.
Suddenly a submarine emerges. The hatch opens and the man yells: Heil h**...! Is the war over?
What does the US military and a f**... have in common?
Air Force
A panda walks into a bar...
And eats some beer nuts, he then pulls out a gun fires it in the air heads for the door. "Hey!" shouts the bartender and the panda yells back "I'm a panda google me" and sure enough 'panda: a tree climbing mammal with distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.'
A girl came to me today...
...and told me she will have s**... with me if I advertise some random liquid detergent. Of course I said no, after all I'm a powerful man with high standards. As powerful as the new Ajax detergent, which offers a unique freshness, activated on air contact.
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman, and a Scotsman are all on a hot air balloon.
The conductor almost panicked says, there's too much weight! Someone needs to jump off, or we're going to c**...! The Welshman bravely steps up, For the glory of wales! And the Welshman throws himself off. The conductor still panicked says, okay, we're close but there is still too much weight! The Irishman, in a patriotic manner yells, For Ireland! And throws the Englishman off
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine
He inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
A man with a gun walks in to a bar...
He unholsters the weapon and waves it in the air, shouting, "I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with 7 rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!"
A voice from the back shouts, "you're gonna need more ammo!"
I just went to the Air & Space museum.
Man do I feel ripped off. It was just an empty room.
I smell maple syrup!
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way. So he says, "Geez, all I can smell is . . . . .
molasses."
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim find a pile of coins
A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim find a pile of coins.
They start arguing what they should take and what they should give to God.
The Christian draws a circle and says, We throw the coins into he air, and whatever lands in the circle, we keep.
The Muslim says, No no no. Whatever lands outside the circle we keep.
The Jew says, How about we throw it in the air, and whatever God wants, he keeps, and whatever falls to the ground we keep.
Three priests gathered together for a drink .
During their get together ,the host ask the other two :
- How do you split your money with the Lord ?
"I draw a line on the floor in my church ,then ,i throw the money in the air ,whatever is on my side I get to keep ,whatever falls on his side he keeps it" sais the first priest.
The second one replies "well I draw circle and then I' throw the money in the air ,whatever falls inside the circle is mine ,whatever Falls outside the circle is His" .
"How do you split your money ?" they both ask the host priest.
I' just throw the money in the air and he keeps whatever he wants.
Terrifying Story
A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window. The startled passenger said "I didn't mean to frighten you, just wanted to ask you something." Taxi driver says "Not your fault Sir. It's my first day as a cab driver, I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years".
My brother and I made a $50 bet on who could throw meat the furthest into the air
I guess you could say the steaks have never been higher.
An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness, suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.
She snatched the atheist up in her jaws and threw her head back, throwing thim up in the air. Just before the atheist fell into Nessie's jaws he cries out
"Oh god help me!"
Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheist. God asked:
"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"
The atheist responded with: "Give me a break, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster five minutes ago either!"
Go fly a kite
A man is in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son. However, every time the kite gets up into the air, it comes crashing back down.
This goes on for awhile before his wife yells from the front door, "you need more tail!"
The father turns to his son and says, "I'll never understand your mother. Yesterday, I told her I needed more tail, and she told me to go fly a kite."
You know air used to be free at the gas station and now it's $1.50. You know why?
Inflation
A mommy mole, daddy mole, and baby mole are together in their burrow
Mommy mole sticks her head out and sniffs the air. She asks, "What's that smell? Is it brown sugar?"
Daddy mole sticks his head out to sniff around, "No I don't think so. Smells like vanilla to me."
The baby mole still in the burrow says "I don't know what you guys are talking about. All I can smell is molasses!"
Got my girlfriend today while airing up a tire
Her- "Why in the world did they start charging for AIR?!"
Me- "Inflation"
FRESH HARAMBE OF BELL AIR....
In west Cincinnati I was born and raised on the zoo grounds is where I spent most of my days,Chillin out hangin out acting all cool, eating bananas out by the pool When a mom and her kid, they were up to no good, crawled over the fence into my neighborhood,I got in one little fight and my zoo keeper got scared, heard a gunshot just before I stopped breathing air.......
How is s**... like air?
It's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Two caterpillars are escaping a spider...
They climb up a small branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped.
"Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.
"That's amazing!" says the second caterpillar. "How are you doing that?!"
The first caterpillar scoffs. "Am I the *only one* in the whole d**... forest who knows how to drive a stick?"
My local gas station started charging money just to put air in your tires
When I commented that this had been free for decades, the attendant just looked at me and said "that's inflation for you".
Why I Joined the Air Force
The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question.
What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?
A sailor said, I'd step on it.
A soldier said, I'd squash it with my boot.
A marine said, I'd catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.
An Airman said. I'd call room service and find out why there's a tent in my room.
Air Force One gets caught in a storm in the midwest
And crashes. Because most of the roads are out, it takes emergency responders a long time to reach the wreck. When they get there, they see a farmer.
"Did you see the plane c**...?" asked the EMTs.
"Ayup. Sure did. Buried them all too," answered the farmer.
"None of them survived?"
"Well, the president said he did, but you know what a liar he is."
Two men found many bags full of money. To be grateful, they decided to share it with God, meaning people in need.
The first man drew a line on the floor and said: I'll throw my part through the air, what comes down on the right side is mine, and on the left side is for the poor, that's God's will.
The second man said: I'll throw all my part through the air, and God will give me back what he wants and keep the remainder, that's God's will.
My 5 year-old son caught me having s**... with my wife.
He asked, "Dad, what are you doing with Mom?"
"I was just pushing the air out of her tummy." I replied.
"It's no use, I saw our neighbor blowing air between Mom's legs every morning after you leave for work."
What's the difference between a warm sweet potato, and a Pig flying through the air?
One's a heated yam, while the other's a yeeted ham.
I thought for my whole life that air was free...
...then I bought a bag of chips.
A little kid walks into his parents' bedroom while they're having s**...
The little boy asked, "What are you doing?"
His mother explains, "Your dad was full of air, so I was jumping on him to get it out."
The boy says, "That's really funny. Whenever you go out for work, your sister comes and blows him right back up."
My grandfather was a very intelligent man.
He was an inventor. He invented the cold air balloon. Only problem was it never really took off.
An economist, a chaos theorist, and a statistician are trying to shoot a deer for dinner with a bow and arrow...
The economist assumes no wind, and misses five feet to the left. He hands over the bow to the chaos theorist, who overestimates the effect of the wind, and misses five feet to the right. The statistician pumps his fist in the air and exclaims: "We got him!".
Whenever I'm at the therapist's waiting room, I stand in one corner and blow air at people.
Everyone hates it, but I'm a fan.
"I'm thinking of running a marathon again." I told my friend.
"You've run a marathon before?" she asked, with an air of admiration.
I said, "No, but I've thought about it."
Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents.
Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.
A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting...
A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The physicist does some basic ballistic calculations, assuming a vacuum, lifts his rifle to a specific angle, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards short.
The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance, lifts his rifle slightly higher, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards long.
The statistician yells "We got him!"
What are two things in the Air that can make a Girl pregnant
Her legs...
Hillary is talking to The Pope, and he says...
"With but one wave of my hand, I can make these people feel joy. Joy that nothing else in the world can bring. And it will be an eternal, everlasting joy."
Hillary says "I'll believe that when I see it."
And so, the Pope raises his hand into the air, and slaps her across the face, and the crowd goes wild.
I was on this plane once...
Captain sets for take off and we are 35000 feet in the air, the captain then sets his mic down but forgets to turn it off.
The captain turns to the co-pilot and says "all I could use right now is a b**... and a cup of coffee".
The stewardess starts running from the back of the plane to tell the captain he still has his mic on.
A guy in the back of the plane screams out "hey hun, don't forget the coffee!".
moles
Mama mole, papa mole, and baby mole all lived in a hole. One day, mama mole stuck her head out and sniffed the air.
"That's weird, I smell grape jelly."
Papa mole squeezes up beside her, sniffs around, and says, "That's funny, because i smell strawberry jam."
Baby mole wanted to sniff the air too, but was stuck behind mama and papa mole, so he said "That's strange, all I smell is molasses!"
Say what you will about Trump
But it was pretty nice of him to air such a long ad for Biden free of charge
Have you guys seen this new air freshener that works on mind control?
It makes scents when you think about it.
