The Best 19 Air Hostess Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Air Hostess jokes. There are some air hostess plane jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these air hostess airlines puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Air Hostess Jokes and Puns

What are the options?

Air Hostess to passenger:
"Sir would you like to have dinner?"

Passenger: "What are the options?"

Air Hostess: "Yes and No."

I was on a plane and the air hostess said, "Want some headphones?"

I said, "Blimey. How'd you guess that my name is Phones?"

Air Hostess : Can i offer you free head phones?

Guy : Definitely but how do you know my name is Phones???

A flight from Dublin to Boston

Shortly after I took off on an Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston a few weeks ago, the air hostess nervously announced that the catering department had made a terrible mistake. A big mix up she said. Although 226 passengers were on board they received only 80 dinners. She apologised, but said that anybody kind enough to give up their meal would receive unlimited free drinks for the remainder of the flight. The next announcement came 2 hours later when she said, "If anybody is hungry, we still have 80 dinners available".

A pilot is flying a plane and shortly after mid-air announcement , forgets to turn off the mic.

He then mentions to his copilot : "I am dating that cute air hostess. After we land , we will go to the hotel and bang. "
The air hostess after hearing this runs towards the front of the plane at full speed to tell the pilot to turn off the mic and hits a blind man's stick and falls down.
The guy sitting on the other side says : "Why are you in such a hurry , we haven't even landed yet! "


The confession.

A guy goes in a confessional and tells the priest that last night he meet 4 swedish air hostesses down the pub, went back to their place, snorted coke, drank 20 year old scotch and had sex all night until the sun came up.

The priest says, "that's terrible my son, what kind of a catholic are you?

Guy says "I'm not a catholic"

The priest says, "what are you telling me all this for then?"

Guy says "I'm telling everyone."

The air hostess comes to know that the old married couple is...

flying to Hawaii on their 50th marriage anniversary.

She asks them how it feels to be married for so long.

The old man replies: "It all felt like 5 minutes..."

The air hostess was about to reply on the profoundness of what he said, when he earned a slap from the old lady for his next word:

"...underwater".

--Taken from All in a day's work; Reader's digest

I was on a flight the other day when the air hostess came up to me and said...

Excuse me sir, would you like to have dinner?

I said, What are the options?

She said, Yes and No.

The excited blonde .

A blonde went to Brisbane for first time.. She was very excited and as soon as the plane landed in brisbane, she began shouting ''Brisbane Brisbane''

The air hostess being annoyed said '' Please mam , Be silent''

The blonde then shouted ''Risane Risane''

United Air hostess: Is there a doctor on-board ??

Passengers : There was.

This is Captain Leonardo Ricardo speaking,

On behalf of my crew and I, I'd like to welcome you on board flight 633 from New York to Abu Dhabi. We are on the air above 38,000 feet across Atlantic Ocean.

If you you look outside the window, you will see that the wing has fallen off and the engine is on fire. If you look down the window, you will see a little yellow boat on the ocean. Inside the boat are 3 people waving at you, that's me, the Co-pilot and your Air hostess.

This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!

You can explore air hostess passenger plane reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean air hostess hand dryers dad jokes. There are also air hostess puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Mr. Smith found a doppelganger of his wife.

Mr smith to Air hostess - you look exactly like my wife.

*Air hostess feeling a bit agitated by that remark slapped him.

Mr. Smith - what sheer coincidence, even the habits match too.

The air hostess has just told me if I don't put my phone away, she's going to slam my head into it.

But I'm pretty sure she's just jokiNjdk$48('$76)?;;

Air Hostess with a tag.

Air Hostess had name tag on her chest, naming her Mia.

Guy: Beautiful name.

Air hostess: Thanks.

Guy: Didn't you name the other one?

Why are air hostesses bad at dating?

Most men aren't interested in **plane** women.

Which mammal is known to spend most of it's life in air but gives birth on land?

Student : Air Hostess

Man to very beautiful airhostess:-

"What's your name?"

Air hostess:- "Eva Benz.."

Man :- "Lovely name...any relation to Mercedes Benz?"

Air hostess:- (smiling) "maintenance cost is same" :D

What do you call a pregnant air hostess

Pilot error

I once asked a Air hostesses of American Airlines for some water, she told be to get it by myself

This is a true incident that took place at a birthday party.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the air hostess allegiant jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working air hostess airline piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes