Air Hostess Jokes

23 air hostess jokes and hilarious air hostess puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about air hostess that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Air Hostess Short Jokes

Short air hostess jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The air hostess humour may include short airline stewardess jokes also.

  1. What are the options? Air Hostess to passenger:
    "Sir would you like to have dinner?"
    Passenger: "What are the options?"
    Air Hostess: "Yes and No."
  2. How do you milk a sheep? Sell headphone for $549.
  3. Air Hostess : Can i offer you free head phones? Guy : Definitely but how do you know my name is Phones???
  4. I was on a flight the other day when the air hostess came up to me and said... Excuse me sir, would you like to have dinner?
    I said, What are the options?
    She said, Yes and No.
  5. The air hostess has just told me if I don't put my phone away, she's going to slam my head into it. But I'm pretty sure she's just jokiNjdk$48('$76)?;;
  6. Air Hostess with a tag. Air Hostess had name tag on her chest, naming her Mia.
    Guy: Beautiful name.
    Air hostess: Thanks.
    Guy: Didn't you name the other one?
  7. Which mammal is known to spend most of it's life in air but gives birth on land? Student : Air Hostess
  8. Man to very beautiful airhostess:- "What's your name?"
    Air hostess:- "Eva Benz.."
    Man :- "Lovely name...any relation to Mercedes Benz?"
    Air hostess:- (smiling) "maintenance cost is same" :D
  9. I once asked a Air hostesses of American Airlines for some water, she told be to get it by myself This is a true incident that took place at a birthday party.

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Air Hostess One Liners

Which air hostess one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with air hostess? I can suggest the ones about hostess and stewardess.

  1. United Air hostess: Is there a doctor on-board ?? Passengers : There was.
  2. What do you call a pregnant air hostess Pilot error
  3. Why are air hostesses bad at dating? Most men aren't interested in **plane** women.

Hilarious Air Hostess Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about air hostess you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pilot flight attendant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make air hostess pranks.

A flight from Dublin to Boston

Shortly after I took off on an Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston a few weeks ago, the air hostess nervously announced that the catering department had made a terrible mistake. A big mix up she said. Although 226 passengers were on board they received only 80 dinners. She apologised, but said that anybody kind enough to give up their meal would receive unlimited free drinks for the remainder of the flight. The next announcement came 2 hours later when she said, "If anybody is hungry, we still have 80 dinners available".

A pilot is flying a plane and shortly after mid-air announcement , forgets to turn off the mic.

He then mentions to his copilot : "I am dating that cute air hostess. After we land , we will go to the hotel and bang. "
The air hostess after hearing this runs towards the front of the plane at full speed to tell the pilot to turn off the mic and hits a blind man's stick and falls down.
The guy sitting on the other side says : "Why are you in such a hurry , we haven't even landed yet! "

The confession.

A guy goes in a confessional and tells the priest that last night he meet 4 swedish air hostesses down the pub, went back to their place, snorted coke, drank 20 year old scotch and had s**... all night until the sun came up.
The priest says, "that's terrible my son, what kind of a catholic are you?
Guy says "I'm not a catholic"
The priest says, "what are you telling me all this for then?"
Guy says "I'm telling everyone."

The air hostess comes to know that the old married couple is...

flying to Hawaii on their 50th marriage anniversary.
She asks them how it feels to be married for so long.
The old man replies: "It all felt like 5 minutes..."
The air hostess was about to reply on the profoundness of what he said, when he earned a slap from the old lady for his next word:
--Taken from All in a day's work; Reader's digest

The excited blonde .

A blonde went to Brisbane for first time.. She was very excited and as soon as the plane landed in brisbane, she began shouting ''Brisbane Brisbane''
The air hostess being annoyed said '' Please mam , Be silent''
The blonde then shouted ''Risane Risane''

This is Captain Leonardo Ricardo speaking,

On behalf of my crew and I, I'd like to welcome you on board flight 633 from New York to Abu Dhabi. We are on the air above 38,000 feet across Atlantic Ocean.
If you you look outside the window, you will see that the wing has fallen off and the engine is on fire. If you look down the window, you will see a little yellow boat on the ocean. Inside the boat are 3 people waving at you, that's me, the Co-pilot and your Air hostess.
This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!

Mr. Smith found a doppelganger of his wife.

Mr smith to Air hostess - you look exactly like my wife.
*Air hostess feeling a bit agitated by that remark slapped him.
Mr. Smith - what sheer coincidence, even the habits match too.

10 engineering professors board a plane

Once they are inside and the plane is a about to take off, the air hostess comes out and tells everyone that the plane has been made by the students of those teachers. Immediately 9 of the professors get up and run away from the plane while one of them stays sit, calmly reading a book.
One of the students who was on the plane to see how their plane worked, approached the professor, thanking him for trusting them.
To which he replies "if my students really made this plane I'm 100% confident this won't even take off"