The Best 60 Air Force Jokes

Following is our collection of Air Force jokes which are very funny. There are some air force aero jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these air force airline puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Air Force Jokes and Puns

Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.

He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.

Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.

When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.

Pilot Choice

As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.

All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.

"Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose."

What does the US military and a fart have in common?

Air Force


An RAF vet is giving a talk about the war...

An RAF veteran is giving a talk to a class of school children, and was trying to explain what a typical mission would be like.

"So there I was, escorting the bombers to their target, when out of the blue we were attacked by a bunch of Fokkers. There were about 20 of these Fokkers. One took out my buddy, but I managed to shoot the Fokker down. Then one was on my tail and I coukdn't shake the Fokker, but my pal took care of him. Then I took out two more of the Fokkers..."

The teacher interupts "Children I should explain, the Fokker was a type of figher airplane used by the German Air Force to stop the RAF bombers and their escorts."

"Yes, but these Fokkers were Messerschmitts!"

my old man had a joke from his days in the Air Force

Background: my dad was a biomed tech and did work for all branches throughout many areas.

One day, he's at a Navy submarine repair station. as him and his buddy are walking in, 2 Navy guys see em and say 'Air Force? what are you guys doing here? where are they going to put the landing strip?'

the other Navy guys says, 'fuck that, where are they going to put the golf course?'

Air force weatherman

So, my uncle Mark was a weatherman for the air force and one day during a briefing, the Colonel said, "I think we should all thank Mark here for the wonderful weather that we've been having for our bombing runs."
So my uncle says, "I'm in prediction, not production. I think we need to thank the chaplain."
The chaplain, without missing a beat, says, "I'm in sales, not in management."

Old Clinton joke

President Clinton is visiting his home state of Arkansas and picks up two razorback pigs from a local breeder.

As he's walking onto Air Force one with a pig under each arm he asks to the marine saluting him, "you ever see such beautiful creatures in your whole life?" ... "No sir, I have not. If I may ask, sir, why did you get the pigs?" Clinton responds, "well I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea." ... "Excellent trade sir!!"

I think my photographer friend is secretly in the Air Force.

He keeps asking if he can use a drone to take aerial shots at my wedding.

A military commander found the briefing room a little too stuffy

So he told one of his officers to "Open the windows and let the Air Force come in."

You can explore air force airways reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean air force recon dad jokes. There are also air force puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did the USSR have such a bad air force?

They kept Stalin.

What`s the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS?

How would I know, I`m just a US Air Force Operator.

What do you call a Mexican fighter pilot?

Air Force Juan.

Today marks the completion of the Mexican presidents official jet...

Air Force Juan

Where does the Iranian Air Force store all its flying craft?

The carpet store

Which of the American forces is the most patriotic?

The Air Force, because its US AF.

The entire Dutch air force was disabled this week.

The pilot was sick.

Nice pigs sir

A Secret Service agent is standing at the bottom of the stairs as President Clinton is leaving Air Force One, and can't help but notice that the President has a pig under each arm.

The Agent salutes and says, "Welcome back, Mr. President. Nice pigs, sir."

Clinton smiles and says, "These aren't pigs. These are genuine Arkansas Razorbacks. I got this one for Hillary, and I got this one for Chelsea."

The Agent says, "Good trade, sir."


Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

Some said Trump would be elected when pigs fly...

Of course the irony now is, they're not only flying, they're being flown by Air Force One.

Why was Obama nervous when eating a T-bone aboard Air Force One?

Because the steaks had never been higher.

After being hit by an airstrike from the Turkish air force, a Syrian leader was quoted as saying...

"As God is my witness, I thought the Turkish couldn't fly..."

It used to take five scotches and a sleeping pill to get me on a plane.

Worked for me, not the Air Force.

A German airman on the air forces during WW2

If you see a white plane, it's American; if it's black it's RAF (Royal Air Force). If you see no planes at all, that's the Luftwaffe.

Why I Joined the Air Force

The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question.
What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?
A sailor said, I'd step on it.
A soldier said, I'd squash it with my boot.
A marine said, I'd catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.
An Airman said. I'd call room service and find out why there's a tent in my room.

A flight attendant sees a suspicious couple on board...

She decides to report it to the pilot immediately.

"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! The female passenger looks pretty frightened and the man she is with looks dangerous!"

The pilot responds, "Patricia, I've told you before. This is Air Force One..."

A soldier finds a scorpion in his tent...

In the Marines, he kills the scorpion.

In the Army, he calls his CO and reports the presence of the scorpion.

In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there's a tent in his room.

President Clinton shows up to Air Force One

President Clinton shows up to Air Force One with a pig under each arm.

The Marine sergeant, salutes him and shouts: "Nice pigs, sir"

Clinton looks at him and says: "I'll have you know these are genuine Arkansas razorbacks! I got one for Chelsea and one for Hillary. What do you think about that?"

The sergeant salutes again and shouts: "Nice trade, sir."

My buddy in the Air Force got injured in the war...

He fell off his chair.

I met an old Air Force guy.

I met an old Air Force guy. He said the first time he was gonna jump out of a plane he was scared. He said the Captain told him to jump, or he'd stick his d**k where the "sun don't shine". I go, "Did you jump?" He said, "A little."

Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats?

So they can see their air Force.

I recently got out of an abusive relationship

I separated from the Air Force after 6 years

What do you call it when the Queen farts?

The Royal Air Force.

If trans people are prone to commit suicide and they join the air-force...

If Trump needed an alternate place to land Air Force One

He could always put it on Stephen Miller's fivehead

The first Jewish President of the United States is elected.

The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.

"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit and stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days."

"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."

"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"

"Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous."

"Mom, the Presidential motorcade will drive you here."

"But accommodations, especially during the inau---"

"MOM!! I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!"

She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend.

"Who was that?"

"My son."

*gasp* "The doctor??"

"No, the other one."

There was a bad accident at the Air Force base.

A jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels.

Sometimes the same word means different things to different people.

Suppose, for example, the order goes out from HQ to "secure the building."

After a short while, the Marines report back, "We have destroyed the building."

Army reports, "We have killed everyone in the building and are holding the position."

Navy: "We locked the door when we left for the day."

Air Force: "We signed a three-year lease with an option to buy."

I always thought Air Force would make great stand up shows...

Their delivery is the bomb!

What do you call a deer that's enlisted in the Air Force?

A bombar*deer*.

The difference between the services

The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language.

For instance, Take the simple phrase secure the building :
The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters.
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.

Did you know NBC once considered a diet & fitness show based on people such as Air Force Amy, Mary Magdalene, Heidi Fleiss, Charles Ponzi, Berni Madoff, and Donald Trump?

The pilot was cancelled because they didn't want to weigh the pros and the cons.

What's the most american US military branch?

the Air Force. They're USAF.

"So, you're telling me you're in the army yet you don't know how to swim?"

"You're in the air-force, do you know how to fly?"

My son is in the navy and can't even swim

I, a Air Force veteran, spat on him in disgust and flew away

When i told my dad i was joining the Air Force, he gave me one piece of advice...

Son, always pay attention on the flight line, because if you don't, you will be mist.

HA. HA. HA. HA.

Which branch of the United States defense is the most American?

It's the Air Force. They're US AF.

Black air force 1 joke

Everyone who commits crimes in black air force 1 finally got them a shoe to wear in court.

Black air force 1 got to work joke

The one day I wear black air force 1 to work I get fired.

black air force 1 candy corn jokes

Eating candy corn is equivalent to wearing black air force 1 nike

My man had the Black Air Forces on

I knew he was about to kill something ...

Black Af1 joke

If Black Air Force 1 took form of a human they’d definitely be 21 Savage.

What's the most patriotic branch of the United States military?

Air Force.

Because they are United States AF.

Air Force One gets caught in a storm in the midwest

And crashes. Because most of the roads are out, it takes emergency responders a long time to reach the wreck. When they get there, they see a farmer.

"Did you see the plane crash?" asked the EMTs.

"Ayup. Sure did. Buried them all too," answered the farmer.

"None of them survived?"

"Well, the president said he did, but you know what a liar he is."

Dad and Son have a conversation about joining the Navy.

Dad: You wanna join the navy? You can't even swim!

Son: But then in the Air Force no one can fly either.

Sir, I think we have a case of human traficking

An American flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board and reports it to the captain.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human traficking! There is an extremely sexy female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened, almost like she has no idea what is going to happen next. The man she is with is a fat old slob and old enough to be her father. He's very sleazy, very sullen and although he speaks English, it is impossible to make out what he's trying to say."

The captain sighed and replied, "look Susan, we've been through this many times before, this is Air Force One..."

Interviewer: What's the difference between the Taliban and British troops?

Candidate: I don't know

Interviewer: Congratulations! Welcome to the United States Air Force!

If Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Barr, Stephen Miller, and Jared Kushner we're on Air Force One together and the plane were to suddenly crash, who would survive?

The United States of America.

The Air Force is the most patriotic branch of the military

Cuz they USAF

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the air force fleet jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working air force army piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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