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Aim Jokes

116 aim jokes and hilarious aim puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about aim that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Aim Short Jokes

Short aim jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The aim humour may include short rifle jokes also.

  1. I want to make a school shooting joke, but that might seem offensive. I think I should aim for a younger crowd.
  2. (Possibly offensive joke?) Not a single adult gets my school shooter jokes. I guess they're aimed at kids.
  3. This morning I was aiming my pee at the side of the bowl so it wouldn't make as much noise, and my wife gets mad at me She's way too overprotective of her cereal
  4. There is a sign at the bar that says no glasses in the bathroom That's really going to mess up my aim...
  5. I'll never forget what my dad told me right before he died.. "Son, be careful where you're aiming that"
  6. Why do snipers always close one eye when they aim? Because they can't aim if they close two.
  7. So I told my dad a joke about Sandy Hook the other day. He didn't think it was funny I guess it's aimed at a younger audience.
  8. My brother didnt like the school shooting jokes I was making I think I should aim for a younger audience.
  9. Today I launched a book aimed at 9-12 year olds... And I'm proud to say that I managed to hit one of the little brats!
  10. If you think the way to a mans heart is through his stomach.... Then you're aiming too high

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Aim One Liners

Which aim one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with aim? I can suggest the ones about attempt and target.

  1. I never understood school shooting jokes I guess they're aimed at a younger audience...
  2. I never get school shooting jokes. Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
  3. I never get any of the school shooting jokes they must be aimed at a younger audience
  4. I never got school shooter jokes Guess they're aimed at a younger audience.
  5. My ex wife still misses me BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER
  6. If you miss your ex Steady aim, control breathing, and fire again
  7. Why do hunters close one eye when they aim? Because they can't see if they close both.
  8. What's the aim of a Jewish football match? Getting the quarterback.
  9. I'm quite bad at archery But I aim to improve
  10. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
  11. I usually dont get school shooting jokes. Typically they are aimed at a younger audience.
  12. I launched a book aimed for 9-12 year olds And I'm proud to say I hit one of them
  13. By all means shoot for the stars Just aim for their bodyguards first
  14. How do you kill a circus? Aim for the juggler.
  15. What do you call a greek goddess with no aim? Artemiss

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about aim can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of aim puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Quirky and Hilarious Aim Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about aim you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean bullet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make aim prank.

Soviet Curfew

A man in Moscow is walking home after his day at work and he walks past a security checkpoint. One of the guards calls to him and tells him to stop, but he takes off running. The guard raises his rifle, takes aim, and shoots him dead in the street. The other guard stares at him.
What did you do that for? he asks.
Curfew violation, the other guard says.
Curfew violation? Curfew isn't for another half hour!
I know. That's my friend. I know where he lives. He never would have made it.

A Chemist, Biologist, and Physicist were captured by n**...

The n**... had taken all three scientists to the woods and lined them up on their knees with their hands on their head. They were about to be executed.
The n**... aim their guns, and the biologist screams "bear". The n**... turn around expecting a bear, but none was there. The biologist had escaped the n**....
So they aim their guns again and the physicist yells "lightning". Again, the n**... turn around to look for lightning but don't see any. The physicist had now escaped.
With just the chemist left, the n**... aim their guns and the chemist yells "fire!".

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead spy get caught behind enemy lines...

The enemy puts each of them against a fence to be shot.
The general orders his squad, "Ready. Aim."
The brunette spy is quick on her feet and yells, "TORNADO! TORNADO! TORNADO!"
The entire firing squad goes to the bunker to hide and waits for the tornado to pass. The brunette then unties her b**... and escapes. The redhead spy sees this and comes up with her own plan. The firing squad returns to kill the remaining two spies.
The general orders again, "Ready. Aim."
The redhead spy then shouts, "EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE!"
The enemy takes cover from the earthquake. The redhead spy then unties her b**... and escapes. The blonde spy is no dumby she gets an idea of her own. The firing squad returns to kill the last remaining spy.
The general orders once more, "Ready. Aim."
The blonde spy ready to run yells, "FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!"

A redhead, an brunette, and a blonde are about to be executed by a firing squad.

The redhead is first, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the redhead screams "tornado!" so everyone runs away and she escapes.
The brunette is next, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the brunette screams "earthquake!" so everyone runs away and she escapes.
The blonde is last, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the blonde screams "fire!"

Be careful of your aim

A woman was pregnant with triplets.
One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up. She gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives.
She goes to the doctor who tells her that her children will be all right, and that one day the bullets will come out.
So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says "MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!" So the mother tells her the story.
The next day the second daughter comes out and says the same thing, "MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"
On the third day the son comes out and says "MOM, MOM!" So she goes, "Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?" he replies "No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!"

Two statisticians are out hunting...

Two statisticians are out hunting when one of them sees a duck. The first takes aim and shoots, but the bullet goes sailing pass 6in too high. The second statistician also takes aim and shoots, but this time the bullet goes sailing past 6in too low. The two statisticians then give one another high fives and exclaim "Got him!"

An old lady gets into a taxi

An old lady gets into a taxi (they're usually mostly Mercs here in Germany) and asks, what that star is for. The taxi driver jokingly replies
"That's a crosshair. I need it to aim for pedestrians."
A few minutes into the drive, a pedestrian ran onto the street and the taxi driver barely managed to evade him when he suddenly hears a clunk from the back. When he turns his head he sees the old lady grinning
"If I hadn't opened my door, we wouldn't have got him!"

Three statisticians go out hunting together...

After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and ends up shooting too far to the left of the rabbit. The second aims, misses, and shoots too far to the right. The third shouts out "We got him!"

A biologist, a physicist and a statistician went hunting

After a good, long while, they found a deer.
The physicist lifted his rifle, took aim, fired, and hit three feet to the left of the animal.
The biologist fired too, and sent the bullet three feet to the right of the deer.
The statistician lifted his rifle triumphantly in the air, and exclaimed: 'We got it!'

There was three pilots...

Three WW2 pilots were shot down behind enemy lines and captured. They were sent to a POW camp to be executed. They were lined up and the firing squad said "Ready, aim" and then the first pilot screamd
"Tornado" then the soldiers ran for cover. When thay found no tornado they lined back up.
"Ready aim" Then the second screeched "b**... run" then the soldiers ran for cover. They then lined up again. "Ready aim" Then the third pilot knew what to do and screamed "FIRE".

The brunette, the redhead, and the blonde.

One day a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were set to be executed. They lined the three woman up in front of a firing squad. First, they brought the brunette up. Ready, aim. But just before they shoot she shouts "Earthquake!" and in the commotion she escapes. Once the chaos dies down they bring up the redhead. Ready, aim."Tornado!" and she escapes. Then they bring the blonde up. By that time the blonde has caught on. Ready aim, and she shouts "Fire"!

3 girls were being exucuted....

...The first girl was getting ready to be shot. The guard yelled,"Ready aim-"The girl yelled," Tornado! Tornado!!" The guard turned around she escaped. The second girl was being exucuted the guard yelled,"Ready aim-" She yelled,"Huirricane!! Hurricane!!" The guard turned around she was gone. The 3rd girl was being exucuted the guard yelled,"Ready aim-" The girl yelled,"Fire!!Fire!"...

I miss my ex-girlfriend all the time.

I really need to work on my aim.

For everyone in the working world today: It's a Tuesday...

...which is like a Monday but with steel-toed boots and a slightly lower aim.

Officer at the shooting range: Get ready, aim, fire at will.

Soldier: Which one is Will?

I always said "Aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

But apparently that's not a valid excuse and I can't work for NASA anymore.

Coach always used to say "Aim for the skies, boy".

He doesn't say that anymore after I blinded myself at archery practice.

Can a ninja aim precisely?

surehecan

Average joke

3 teachers, Science, Auto shop, and Mathematics, go hunting together over their winter vacation. They come across an enormous 6 point buck. The science teacher who saw it first takes aim. He fires and misses by 3 feet to left. The auto shop teacher shoulders him asside and says, " this is how you do it!". He fires and misses 3 feet to the right. The math teacher jumps up and Screams, "we got him!".

Why are Blackjack players like paedophiles?

They aim for 21 but hit on anything below 12

Mother: I am ashamed of you. Fighting with your friend is a terrible thing to do.

Son: He threw a rock at me. So I threw one at him.
Mother: When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to see me.
Son: What good would that have done? I know that my aim is much better than yours.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away

That, however, depends on how good your aim is

An Englishman, an American and an Irishman are lined up against the wall to be executed by the n**....

The Englishman is first, they put him against the wall, ready, aim …. The Englishman yells out earthquake earthquake!!! The Germans panic and he manages to run away.
The american is next and having seen what happened, as the Germans go ready, aim …. He yells out flood, flood. Again the Germans panic and he manages to run away.
The Irishman is next the Germans line him up and go ready, aim…. The Irishman confidently yells out Fire fire ….....
Apologies to any Irish offended. And Germans too.

Bathroom Poetry

This little throne I call my own
I aim to keep it neat
So drain your soul, pee down the hole
And not upon the seat

Two drunk idiots are sitting on top of a building...

Staring at the moon, one of 'em says, "Give me your flashlight, I'll turn it on, aim it at the moon and then you go climb up to the moon using the beam."
"No! You idiot! What if you turn it off when I'm midway!"
(English, not my native language, apologies.)

A statistician goes hunting with his friend

After a few hours in the tree stand, his friend sees a ten-point buck. He takes careful aim and fires, but misses the buck by a foot to the left. Fortunately the buck was not scared off, and he quietly reloads and takes another shot. The shot misses the buck by a foot to the right.
The statistician yells in triumph "You got him! You got him!"

I've built a spice catapult that is capable of seasoning a steak from a distance of 100 yards.

It's a little hard to aim but there's no sense crying over every missed steak.

My wife asked me: "How do you pee and aim so well with an e**...?"

I said: "It's hard."

I miss my wife sometimes

But my aim is getting better

My ex-wife still misses me.

But her aim is starting to improve!

My ex wife still misses me...

BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN' BETTER!!
...
HER AIM IS GETTIN' BETTER!!

What do pornstars and gamers have in common?

They both aim for the head

My aim is to make everyone laugh before I die...

Because I already know everyone will laugh at my f**....

"I got her!''

A drunk old man gets into a taxi Mercedes E Class. After a short time, he asks, "Why do Mercedes cars have that on their bonnet?"
The driver jokingly replies, "It is there so I could aim pedestrians."
He accelerates sharply, narrowly missing out an old lady which was passing the street. After that, he heard a massive thump.
"What the b**... h**... was that??" the driver asked
The drunk man replies, "You missed her, I got her with my door".

My ex still misses me...

But her aim has improved significantly

Trump is leaving a rally and heading to his limo

When suddenly a would be assassin jumps from the shadows and takes aim. A secret service agent, brand new on the job, shouts Micky Mouse! This startles the assassin and he is captured in the confusion. Later the agents supervisor takes him aside, congratulates him and says but what in the h**... made you shout 'Micky Mouse?!' Visibly embarrassed the Agent replies I got nervous, I meant to shout 'Donald, Duck'

I'm having the same problem when I'm playing FPS and when I'm peeing

I shot before I aim.

TIL: On an average week in Chicago, there are around a hundred shootings and five to ten people are killed.

Those people need to take lessons or something. Their aim must be awful.

I sometimes miss people I love quite a bit...

But my aim is getting better.

I've been missing my wife a lot lately

I think I need to work on my aim

I'm starting a Shakespearean delivery company.

We aim to deliver your parcel tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.

You never know when half of your life will pass

So I aim to have a midlife crisis everyday

President Trump to sign an executive action taking aim at Sun Maid and California's Raisin industry

He answered most of the criticism over the weekend by stating
"I would like to make raisins Grape again"

An apple a day keeps the doctor away...

You just have to aim for the head.

"Have you heard about the new rule in boxing?"

... James asked his friend Jake. Jake hadn't.
- Basically, to reduce the number of blows under the belt that boxers deliver and receive, their outfits will feature a line just above the waist that they must aim for with every hit.
- What? That's ridiculous! Is there something written on it?
- Of course! __This is the punchline__."

I always miss the people I break up with.

I should really improve my aim.

What do you call a hero that doesn't aim for the head and requires a rematch?

A Thor loser.

Aim for the stars

and even if you miss, you might hit some of their fans

I used to go to bars to pick up girls in the 90s...

...then I thought I should aim closer to my age

What do you do when you miss your mother in law?

Reload
Aim
Shoot again!

I climbed on a tree with a suitcase.

My aim is to become a branch manager.

A Mexican walks into a bar...

A Mexican walks into a bar and says, 'I need tequila'. The barman says, 'how many shots will you need?' The Mexican says, 'One will do, i have good aim.

I said to my wife: You should aim to please

She replied: You should aim too, please.

My wife still misses me because I play Fortnite too much...

But her aim is improving 😏

I remember when a YouTuber's main aim was to entertain

Now they're all diss-track-ted

My ex always used to annoy me by saying I have terrible aim for a hitman.

I miss her.

The golf joke

What's the best part about golf?
It's the only activity where you actually aim for the hole under 18 and you don't go to jail.

My boss just said, "Everyone dies alone."

I told him, "you don't have to die alone, just get in your car and aim for a school bus."

I keep missing the people I break up with

I need to practice my aim more.

My aim in life is to turn negative into positive...

...which is how I lost my job at AIDS clinic.
- Andrew Lawrence

I'm well aware of my shortcomings

I aim for the chest, but only make it to the stomach

Why is it so hard for men to aim at the toilet in the morning?

Because it's so hard.

Drugs:

Start low, aim high

Why do cops s**... at snooker ?

They always aim for the black one first

Sign over the u**... in Dad's favorite bar

We keep this restroom clean because we aim to please ... so, you aim too, please.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away,

especially with a good aim!

"Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star."

So I netflix and aim for the girl's collar bones.

Aim for the stars.

Even if you miss, you'll land on the front page of the newspaper.

I once used a toilet that had a note on it that said aim like a Jedi, not like a Stormtrooper .

So i closed my eyes and let the force guide me as i peed.

jokes about aim

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these aim jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.