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Aides Jokes

31 aides jokes and hilarious aides puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about aides that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Aides Short Jokes

Short aides jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The aides humour may include short aids jokes also.

  1. An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, "I've let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?" The husband says, "Change the battery in your hearing aid."
  2. Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet. Your parents in 2017: Freedom eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.
  3. What's big, black and loaded with aids? A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.
  4. My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure. So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die.
  5. British teenager Emma Raducanu has just won $2.5m by winning the US open final Sadly she needed 2 band-aids and a bandage for a cut on her leg in the last game, so she still owes about $25k
  6. My gay friend's had an 80's themes costume party. I came dressed up as AIDS. Nobody really knew what I was at the start of the party, but by the end, everybody got it.
  7. There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola: The directions say the medication must be taken with food.
  8. Patient: "Gimme the bad news first!" Doctor: "You have AIDS."
    Patient: "What's the good news?"
    Doctor: "You have alzheimer's."
    Patient: "Well that's not so bad, at least I don't have AIDS."
  9. What's the difference between Jim Jones and Donald Trump? Trump would've charged for the kool-aid.
  10. My dad bought himself a new hearing aid. "It's state of the art," he boasted. "Cost me a fortune."
    "Awesome," I replied. "What kind is it?"
    "Two-thirty."

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Aides One Liners

Which aides one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with aides? I can suggest the ones about hiv aids and aids or alzheimers.

  1. What kind of STD's do fish get? Merm-aids
  2. What STD do sailors get the most? Merm-aids
    (Inspired by a Family Guy joke)
  3. What's the hardest part about hearing your sister has AIDS? acting surprised
  4. I thought I would go and help out in Africa ...turns out they have enough aids.
  5. I love volunteering at the AIDS clinic. Everybody is so positive.
  6. "What do we want?" "HEARING AIDS!"
    "When do we want them?"
    "HEARING AIDS!"
  7. I just found out the kool-aid man plays on a baseball team. He's the pitcher.
  8. Which STD is transmitted through sound? Hearing aids
  9. I have AIDS and Alzheimer's Thank goodness I don't have AIDS
  10. What do you give a sick lemon? lemon-Aid
  11. Have you heard the one about the baby with AIDS? It never gets old.
  12. If you're African you will get this: (WARNING: racist) AIDS
  13. I sent my hearing aids in for repairs three weeks ago I haven't heard anything since
  14. What do you call first aid on a pirate ship? Sea pee yarrrrrrrr!
  15. I was pretty sure my girlfriend didn't have AIDS... but now I'm positive.

Aides joke, I was pretty sure my girlfriend didn't have AIDS...

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Aides Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about aides you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean helps jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make aides pranks.

Kim Jong Un decided to send donald trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.

Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.
Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:
"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."

George W. Bush is sitting with his aides...

and he is getting debriefed on the world news of the day. The news is rather mundane and unexciting, but one of his aides states that 3 Brazilian people perished in a plane c**... early this morning.
Dubya's reaction is pure shock and grief, he's shaking and can't control his emotions.
Tearfully looking over to the man who broke the news, he asks him, "How many is a Brazilian?"

o**... Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message

o**... Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message to let him know he is still alive:-
"370H SSV 0773H." Bush is baffled. Condi Rice and her aides and even the FBI and CIA
can't decipher it. So they ask Britain's MI6 for help. Within a minute MI6 replies:-
"Er, tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

Most people get AIDS from s**...

Bill Clinton got s**... from aides

Vladimir Putin, surrounded by his aides and bodyguards.....

visits a modern art exhibition. "What the h**... is this green circle with yellow spots all over?" he asked. His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain."
"Ah-h… And what is this black triangle with red strips?" "This painting shows our heroic industrial workers in a factory." "And what is this dwarf with donkey ears?"
"Mr. president, this is not a painting, this is a mirror." 

An old man thanks Stalin

"Thank you, comrade Stalin, for giving me a wonderful childhood!"
One of Stalin's aides interrupts: "What are you talking about? When you were a child, comrade Stalin wasn't even born yet!"
The old man replies: "and that's why I'm thanking him!"

Buddy of mine was complaining about work, having a hard time dealing with his two aides.

I said tell me about it, I just got my third hepatitis.

What do you call a group of nurses who are musicians?

>!Band aides!<

CNN recently released a new report from one of Trumps closest aides. The unnamed source has disclosed that Trump has been diagnosed with sphincter dysfunction.

President Trump responded: "the news is fake, but the leaks are real."

Switzerland declares war on China.

The Chinese President is informed by one of his aides that Switzerland has declared war on them. The president calmly asks:
"What's the population of Switzerland?", the aide replies: "8 million, sir", and so the president says: "Alright, which hotel will they be staying at?".

We always knew you could get AIDS from s**...

and then Bill Clinton proved you could get s**... from aides.

What did Trump's aides say when he was worried about the NK Summit?

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

What's the difference between Bill and Hillary Clinton?

One wants their aides to keep their mouth closed, the other wants them to keep their mouth open.

Don't sleep with politicians.

They all have aides.

I hate being a prominent political figure.

No-one wants to date a guy with aides.

Your momma so fat...

Her aides close lanes on the George Washington Bridge

Aides joke, Your momma so fat...