Ahh Jokes

This article is all about humorous "Ahh" jokes that will have you laughing out loud and turning red with embarrassment! From goofy to corny, this collection of "Ahh" jokes covers it all - Yep, it's time to get your humor on!

Amusing & Witty Ahh Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

"Dad, why is my sister called Paris?"

"Because we conceived her in Paris."
"Ahh, thanks Dad! "
"You're welcome, Backseat."

A wheat farmer has a headache and all his crops disappear

Ahh Migraines!

*Reversing the car*

Dad: Ahh, this takes me back

jokes about ahh

A dead lawyer

lawyer dies in his sleep and arrives at the gates of heaven.
He asks St Peter "Why am I here? I was healthy, and so young!"
St Peter replies "Young? You were 103 years old!"
The lawyer says "What? No! I was 36!!"
St Peter looks at his ledger and then says "Ahh, I see the problem. We were going by hours billed."

An American walks into an Irish pub

An Irishman yells, "Oi, y**...! Are you Catholic or are you Protestant?"

"Err... I'm atheist," the tourist says awkwardly.

"Ahh, but which one don't you believe in?"

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor

and tells him, "make me one with everything."

The vendor gives him a hot dog and the buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill.
After a moment of waiting, the buddhist asks, "Where's my change?"
The vendor smiles and says, "Ahh, change must come from within."

What's the difference between a rabbi, a priest, and a gay man

The rabbi says Amain
The priest says Amen

And the gay man says Ahh, men

Guy: Doctor my girlfriend is pregnant but I always wear contraception and the rubber never breaks

Doctor: Let me tell you a story, there once was a hunter who always carried a gun with him. But one day he forgot his gun and brought an umbrella with him instead (cause it was raining). Then a lion jumped at him but he shot it with the umbrella

Guy: Nonsense, someone else must have shot the lion!

Doctor: Ahh, so you understood my story. Next!

Why did the limp Donkey cross the road ?..ahh forget it

.. sorry for such a lame a**... joke.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Ahh, those were the days...

You can explore ahh hou reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ahh huh dad jokes. There are also ahh puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Ambulance game

a boy said to a girl "lets play the ambulance game" girl asked "how do u play that?"
the boy said "i run my fingers up your legs and you say red light when you want me to stop"
girl "OK"
after sometime girl screams
red light
red light
ahh ahh red light
boy "ambulance doesn't stop at red light s**..."

My attempt to translate an old Polish joke to English

> A policeman approaches a man drinking beer in park and asks him for his documents. Student hands him the documents and the policeman begins reading aloud:
> -ahh, I see we don't have a job.
> -no, we don't.
> -we're jerking around all day.
> -yes, we are.
> -Oh! We are students!
> -No, only I am.

Not 100% sure if I translated it well, improvements welcome:

A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist.

A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting on a Starbucks patio across from an abandoned building when a car pulls up, and two people get out and enter the building.

A few minutes go by, three people exit the building, get into the car and drive off.

"Hmm," says the physicist, "our original count must have been inaccurate."

"Ahh," says the biologist, "they must have reproduced!"

"Aha!" says the mathematician, "now if exactly one person enters the building, it will be empty again!"

You wanna know how lazy I am?

Ahh, never mind.

Blonde Moments: Life with a Blonde Teenage Daughter

SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl's name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You're no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Me: What is a vowel?

Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …

Me: Close enough.

Two monkeys are in a bath. One says ooh ooh ooh ahh ahh ahh

The other responds put some cold water in then!

An Australian was in London admiring suits displayed in a shop window...

To nobody in particular he said, "Ahh, there's the one I'd get!"

A split second later, a three foot tall cyclops ran up and punched him in the nuts.

A lady took her clock to a clock repairman.

"What seems to be the problem?" he asked.

"This clock just goes tick, tick, tick." she replied.

"Ahh, don't worry lady, we have ways to make them tock".

A nerd walked into my Bio class today sipping a full martini glass...

Me: Why did you decide to bring alcohol into class??
Nerd: I needed to prove that I was more of a daredevil than I get credit for.
Me: Well what's in the glass then?
Nerd: Ahh, its a little cocktail I call the "Jellyfish".
Me: Why do you call it that?
Nerd: Because its 98% water...

What's in between moms legs dad, said Johnny.

Ahh..... its heaven son, said the father.

And in between yours father?

The key to heaven son.

Well... said Johnny. You should replace your key cause the neighbor has one.

I had a joke about a boomerang, but I forgot....

Ahh well, it will come back to me.

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for life

Teach a fish to man and ARGGHHH AHH AHH IT'S GOT ME

A guy goes to the doctor...

... and says "I would like to get castrated".

The doctor is confused saying " Are you sure? That's a big step."

But the guy insists, so the doctor performs the operation.

When the guy gets home his wife asks "Did you get vaccinated?"

He slams his head "ahh VACCINATED"

(Translated from another language)

A Scotsman, and Englishman, and a Chinese man take a hotair ballon ride over the UK...

As they take off, the Scotsman gazes down and marvels "Ahh my beautiful Scotland!"

As the cross the border the Englishman gazes down and says "Ahh my beautiful England!"

The Chinese man takes out a saucer, throws it over the side and says "Ahh my beautiful china!"

Only the immature will laugh

A sausage and an egg are frying in a pan.
"It's a bit too hot in here for me, mate." The sausage says to the egg.
The egg screams, "Ahh! A talking sausage!"

disturbed joke

doctor: say ahh

me: ow-a-a-a-a

doctor: it appears you are down with the sickness

What did one petri dish say to the other?

Ahh, I see you too are a man of culture.

What did the petri dish say to the refrigerated porkchop?

>!Uncultured Swine!!<

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says ;

"make me one with everything."

^(If this doesn't work on its own, there is an extension:)

The vendor gives him a hot dog and the Buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill. After a moment of waiting, the Buddhist asks, "Where's my change?" The vendor smiles and says, "Ahh, change must come from within."

My Italian Friend

An Italian friend was showing me his library of classic Greek writers. As I pulled down one book I said, "Ahh, Euripides." He looked shocked and said, "No way I rippa dees books!"

Donald Trump is visiting Queen Elizabeth.

Mr Trump turns to Queen Elizabeth and says "I want to be a King."

Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a kingdom."

Don says "What about a prince?"

Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a principality."

Don says "A duke then?"

Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a duchy."

Don asks "Well what can I be?"

Liz says "Well I think a country suits you well."

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ahh it's this really obscure number I'm sure you never heard of it.

Two muffins are sitting in a hot oven.

Two muffins are sitting in a hot over. The first muffin sighs and says, "gosh, it's so hot in here."

"The second muffin exclaims, "Ahh, a talking muffin!"

An American and a Finn are drinking in a bar...

After an hour, the American says "ahh, this is good beer." The Finn says "Are we drinking or talking?"

I like my coffee how I like my women

Ground up, in a bag, and in the fridge. ahh, the nice bitter taste of it...

Irish Expedition to the Sun

The newspaper asks captain Murphy aren't you worried about the heat. Murphy replies ...ahh we thought of that, we're going at night.

So the other my sister made my big toe split in two

Ahh, mitosis

A boy asks his Dad one day.

"Dad, why is my sister called Paris?"

His Dad replies, "Because she was conceived in Paris."

The boy says, "Ahh, thanks Dad."

His Dad says, "You're welcome, Backseat."

My friend couldn't stop sneezing and I said, "man, your nose is like a shotgun with unlimited ammo!"

He said, "It's ah.. ahh.. an-an-allergy"

I said, "no, simile".

I stop and rest on a park bench....

After a while a blind old black man come and sits next to me with his guard dog, he keeps cursing and grunting so i ask him whats wrong "ahh my blasted wife has been cheating on me with my neighbour and shes taking half the house in the divorce, i didnt see it coming" he says, i chuckle a little at his bad taste joke, then he says "yeah you right son, it could be worse, i could be black"

What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?

They both s**... a lot of s**....

What did the bread say after its massage?

Ahh, I kneaded that.

Ahh Mexico...

The silver metal winner of the Mexican-American War.

I went to Yale

Interviewer: how do you explain the three year gaps in your resume?

Job Seeker: ahh, that was when I went to yale

Interviewer: woww amazing, you are hired!

Job Seeker: yayy I got a yob!!!

What do a dentist and a proctologist have in common?

They both tell you to open up and you go AHH.

Two monkeys are sitting in a bath

First monkey: "*Ohho oh oooh oooh ahaaaah aahhh ahh!"*

Second monkey: "*Well put some cold water in then!*"

What to say during s**...

* ooh

* ee

* ooh ahh ahh

* ting

* tang

* walla walla bing bang

What does a lawyer wear to court?

A lawsuit. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahwhahhwhahagahahaaaaa ha ahh ha ha hehe ha

Day-workers wake up "ahh-- a new day!"

Night-workers wake up "The same day-- ahh!"

A jew , a christian, and a muslim board a plane

The stewardess says : ahh, you guys again?

what does the pirate from boston say?


Why did the chicken cross the road?

Q:why did the chicken cross the road ?

Me : don't know why.

A. To get to a dorks house

Me: Ahh ok ? ...I don't get it.

ok maybe you'll get this one. Knock knock.....

Me: who is there ?

A: the chicken !

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the ahh jaysus puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working ahh gosh piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

Joko Jokes