Ahh Jokes
63 ahh jokes and hilarious ahh puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ahh that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is all about humorous "Ahh" jokes that will have you laughing out loud and turning red with embarrassment! From goofy to corny, this collection of "Ahh" jokes covers it all - Yep, it's time to get your humor on!
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Funniest Ahh Short Jokes
Short ahh jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ahh humour may include short yep jokes also.
- "Dad, why is my sister called Paris?" "Because we conceived her in Paris."
"Ahh, thanks Dad! "
"You're welcome, Backseat." - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Ahh, those were the days...
- A lady took her clock to a clock repairman. "What seems to be the problem?" he asked.
"This clock just goes tick, tick, tick." she replied.
"Ahh, don't worry lady, we have ways to make them tock". - Teach a man to fish and you feed him for life Teach a fish to man and ARGGHHH AHH AHH IT'S GOT ME
- I fondly remember the time I found a cure for dementia. Ahh......That brings back memories.
- Only the immature will laugh A sausage and an egg are frying in a pan.
"It's a bit too hot in here for me, mate." The sausage says to the egg.
The egg screams, "Ahh! A talking sausage!" - disturbed joke doctor: say ahh
me: ow-a-a-a-a
doctor: it appears you are down with the sickness - My Italian Friend An Italian friend was showing me his library of classic Greek writers. As I pulled down one book I said, "Ahh, Euripides." He looked shocked and said, "No way I rippa dees books!"
- How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? Ahh it's this really obscure number I'm sure you never heard of it.
- An American and a Finn are drinking in a bar... After an hour, the American says "ahh, this is good beer." The Finn says "Are we drinking or talking?"
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Ahh One Liners
Which ahh one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ahh? I can suggest the ones about huh and gosh.
- A wheat farmer has a headache and all his crops disappear Ahh Migraines!
- You wanna know how lazy I am? Ahh, never mind.
- So the other my sister made my big toe split in two Ahh, mitosis
- What did the bread say after its massage? Ahh, I kneaded that.
- Ahh Mexico... The silver metal winner of the Mexican-American War.
- Day-workers wake up "ahh-- a new day!" Night-workers wake up "The same day-- ahh!"
- Ahh Christmas - when you want your past forgotten ... but your presents remembered.
- You ever hear the one about the upside down Pyramid? Ahh nevermind... It's pointless.
- Ahh... I see that the Boomerang is making a comeback.
- How did the ooh-ahh bird get its name? It lays square eggs.
- My dad left me 2 weeks ago Ahh nevermind, he was just getting his car licenced
- What turns an Ahh into an Ohh!!? About 3.5 inches.
- What's that one place in Thailand called? Ahh Phuket. Nevermind.
- Ahh...Math **Math.** The only place where suzy buy 49 cakes.
Amusing & Witty Ahh Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about ahh you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean aha jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ahh pranks.
My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American walks into an Irish pub
An Irishman yells, "Oi, y**...! Are you Catholic or are you Protestant?"
"Err... I'm atheist," the tourist says awkwardly.
"Ahh, but which one don't you believe in?"
Guy: Doctor my girlfriend is pregnant but I always wear contraception and the rubber never breaks
Doctor: Let me tell you a story, there once was a hunter who always carried a gun with him. But one day he forgot his gun and brought an umbrella with him instead (cause it was raining). Then a lion jumped at him but he shot it with the umbrella
Guy: Nonsense, someone else must have shot the lion!
Doctor: Ahh, so you understood my story. Next!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the limp Donkey cross the road ?..ahh forget it
.. sorry for such a lame a**... joke.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ambulance game
a boy said to a girl "lets play the ambulance game" girl asked "how do u play that?"
the boy said "i run my fingers up your legs and you say red light when you want me to stop"
girl "OK"
after sometime girl screams
red light
red light
ahh ahh red light
boy "ambulance doesn't stop at red light s**..."
My attempt to translate an old Polish joke to English
> A policeman approaches a man drinking beer in park and asks him for his documents. Student hands him the documents and the policeman begins reading aloud:
> -ahh, I see we don't have a job.
> -no, we don't.
> -we're jerking around all day.
> -yes, we are.
> -Oh! We are students!
> -No, only I am.
Not 100% sure if I translated it well, improvements welcome:
A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist.
A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting on a Starbucks patio across from an abandoned building when a car pulls up, and two people get out and enter the building.
A few minutes go by, three people exit the building, get into the car and drive off.
"Hmm," says the physicist, "our original count must have been inaccurate."
"Ahh," says the biologist, "they must have reproduced!"
"Aha!" says the mathematician, "now if exactly one person enters the building, it will be empty again!"
Blonde Moments: Life with a Blonde Teenage Daughter
SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.
Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl's name is?
Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.
Lauren: You're no fun, Dad. Forget it.
Me: What is a vowel?
Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …
Me: Close enough.
An Australian was in London admiring suits displayed in a shop window...
To nobody in particular he said, "Ahh, there's the one I'd get!"
A split second later, a three foot tall cyclops ran up and punched him in the nuts.
A nerd walked into my Bio class today sipping a full martini glass...
Me: Why did you decide to bring alcohol into class??
Nerd: I needed to prove that I was more of a daredevil than I get credit for.
Me: Well what's in the glass then?
Nerd: Ahh, its a little cocktail I call the "Jellyfish".
Me: Why do you call it that?
Nerd: Because its 98% water...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's in between moms legs dad, said Johnny.
Ahh..... its heaven son, said the father.
And in between yours father?
The key to heaven son.
Well... said Johnny. You should replace your key cause the neighbor has one.
A guy goes to the doctor...
... and says "I would like to get castrated".
The doctor is confused saying " Are you sure? That's a big step."
But the guy insists, so the doctor performs the operation.
When the guy gets home his wife asks "Did you get vaccinated?"
He slams his head "ahh VACCINATED"
(Translated from another language)
A Scotsman, and Englishman, and a Chinese man take a hotair ballon ride over the UK...
As they take off, the Scotsman gazes down and marvels "Ahh my beautiful Scotland!"
As the cross the border the Englishman gazes down and says "Ahh my beautiful England!"
The Chinese man takes out a saucer, throws it over the side and says "Ahh my beautiful china!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did one petri dish say to the other?
Ahh, I see you too are a man of culture.
What did the petri dish say to the refrigerated porkchop?
>!Uncultured Swine!!<
Irish Expedition to the Sun
The newspaper asks captain Murphy aren't you worried about the heat. Murphy replies ...ahh we thought of that, we're going at night.
My friend couldn't stop sneezing and I said, "man, your nose is like a shotgun with unlimited ammo!"
He said, "It's ah.. ahh.. an-an-allergy"
I said, "no, simile".
What do a dentist and a proctologist have in common?
They both tell you to open up and you go AHH.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What to say during s**...
* ooh
* ee
* ooh ahh ahh
* ting
* tang
* walla walla bing bang
What does a lawyer wear to court?
A lawsuit. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahwhahhwhahagahahaaaaa ha ahh ha ha hehe ha
A jew , a christian, and a muslim board a plane
The stewardess says : ahh, you guys again?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Q:why did the chicken cross the road ?
Me : don't know why.
A. To get to a dorks house
Me: Ahh ok ? ...I don't get it.
ok maybe you'll get this one. Knock knock.....
Me: who is there ?
A: the chicken !
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Julie Julie
Julie Julie?
Yes Oni-Chan?
Stole my condoms?
No Oni-Chan!
Telling Lies?
No Oni-Chan!!
Open Wide!
AHH AHH AHH
Two muffins are in an oven.
One turns to the other, screaming, and shouts, "Ahh! It's so hot in here, I'm burning!" The other muffin then turns to the first and shouts back, "Ahh! A talking muffin!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... walks up to a Jewish kid and asks him: how old are you? to which the kid answers almost 8 , so h**... says ahh optimistic!
1st daughter - dad I am lesbian.
Dad - oh OK😒
2nd daughter - dad I am lesbian too.
Dad - ahh! Anyone in the family who loves man.
Son - yes dad I do
Ahh it's finally June. Hopefully the weather will be better this month. I was getting tired of hearing how bad May weather was.
My Dad just told me this joke.
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy sitting next to a dog at the bar table. He comes over to the guy and says "Hey, does your dog bite?" "No" the man replies. He claps the dog and it bites his hand aggressively, blood everywhere. "Ahh! I thought you said your dog doesnt bite!?" "....Thats not my dog" replies the man.
An American, a Frenchman, and a Colombian are all on a plane
The American sticks his hand out of the window and says,
Look! We're in my country.
How can you tell? Says the Frenchman
I can touch the Statue of Liberty.
Sometime passes, The Frenchman then sticks his hand out of the window and says,
Oh, we're in my country now.
How can you tell? Says the Columbian
I can feel the Eiffel tower.
Again, some more time passes. Then, the Columbian sticks his hand out of the window and says,
Ahh, we're in my country now.
How can you tell? Says the American
The Columbian pulls his hand back in and says We're in my country because my watch is missing.
What do you call a squished sheep?
EEEEEEWWWWWWWEEEEE!
(or, as the Valley girls say, "ahh.... Ewe!")
There was a blond, brunette and a redhead running from a cop...
They turn down an alley and it's a dead end. The blond hides in a sack of potatoes. The brunette hides in a dumpster and the redhead hides in a trashcan.
The cop comes running down the alley and doesn't see them. So he walks over to the trashcan and kicks it.
"Meow!" Meows the redhead
"Ahh, it's just a cat." Says the cop. He walks over to the dumpster and kicks it.
"Woof woof!" Barks the brunette.
"Just a dumb dog." The cop says. Then he walks over to the potato sack and kicks it and the blond yells...
"POTATO POTATO POTATO!"
