Agree To Disagree Jokes
10 agree to disagree jokes and hilarious agree to disagree puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about agree to disagree that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Agree To Disagree Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good agree to disagree joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
My wife believes in compromise
If we agree on something we do it my way, and if we disagree we do it her way.
Programmers and mathematicians disagree on a lot of things
but at least we can all agree 0!=1
9 out of 10 Americans agree
...that out of 10 Americans, one American will always disagree with the other nine.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The problem with the American two-party system is that everyone agrees one political party is s**... and the other party is evil
But they violently disagree about which one is which.
When my wife and I disagree about something, we sit down and talk it through like adults...
...and then we agree that she was absolutely right.
Two guys are arguing if there is baseball in heaven...
Two guys are arguing about whether there is baseball in heaven. One says there is and the other says there isn't. They go back and forth and in the end agree to disagree. They make a bet that if one of them dies that they come back and tell the other if there really is baseball in heaven.
A few months later one of the two dies and, true to his word, comes back and tells the other he has good news and bad news. Good news is that there is baseball in heaven! Bad news is you're scheduled to pitch next Thursday.
My friend told me I'm indecisive.
I told her I disagree. Then I took it back and agreed with her.
Did you hear about that kid called Agree who kept getting bullied?
Everybody agreed to *dis*agree.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mike and David are stranded in the desert...
Mike and David are stranded in the desert. They've been walking for ages without food or even a sip of water. All of a sudden in the baron wasteland they find a mosque. David and mike agree that it is their best bet to go to the mosque because there'll be food and shelter. On the way to the mosque mike says "David, let's pretend to be Muslims they'll treat us a lot better. If they ask what my name is I'm gonna say Mohammed". David disagrees and thinks this is a s**... idea. Eventually they get to the mosque and the gates open. They enter inside and immediately the men inside ask their names.
"My names David".
"Come inside David we have food and water for you. What's your name sir"?
"My name is Mohammed".
"Ah come in Mohammed let's pray, fast opens in 6 hours"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The farmer and the mule.
An old farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning til night she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule, which he did as often as possible.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her s**... in the back of the head and killed her dead on the spot.
At the f**... several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement, but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.
This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the f**..., the minister spoke to the old farmer and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women but always shook his head and disagreed with all of the men.
The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."
"And what about the men?" the minister asked.
"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."
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