The Best 26 Agony Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Agony jokes. There are some agony anguish jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these agony dolor puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Agony Jokes and Puns

As she lay there in screaming agony...

As she lay there in screaming agony, her body covered in fatal burns, Superman knew this was the first and last time he would try to undress a woman with his eyes.

A Drunk is on his way home from a bar...

He stumbles and backs himself against an advertising pillar. He slowly continues his walk with his hands still on the advertising pillar for aid, going around once, twice, three times...

With a scream of agony he suddenly slumps to the ground and cries out loud:

"Dear God! I'm walled in!"

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi decided to go skinny dipping...

Suddenly, they saw three women walking towards them. Each was a member of their flocks. The priest and the minister covered their privates with their hands and closed their eyes waiting for the agony to end.
After the women walked away they noticed the rabbi had covered his face and not his nether regions. He said, "My flock recognizes my face. What kinda sermons do you give?"

Agony joke, A priest, a minister, and a rabbi decided to go skinny dipping...

I've gone from agony to ecstasy in this last week. Hopefully, by the end of this month...

...I'll be done reading this dictionary.

An Italian soccer player walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar. He says: *Ouch* .
An Italian soccer player walks into a bar. He **SCREAMS IN PAIN, CLUTCHING HIMSELF IN AGONY YELLS AT PEOPLE NEARBY AT RANDOM TO CALL THE POLICE, CONTINUES SCREAMING FOR MINUTES ON END, UNTIL HE FINALLY FAINTS VIOLENTLY.**


Tim is out drinking one night...

He wants to go home but is extremely drunk so he decides to walk. After two steps he falls down. He stands up, walks another two steps and falls down again. This continues all the way home where he climbs up the stairs in agony but doesn't utter a single groan since he doesn't want his wife to notice and gets into bed next to her, makes sure he didn't wake her up and sleeps.
The next day, his wife tells him: "Tim, you moron! Didn't I tell you not to go out drinking??? You're a dead loss!" - "But how did you know?" - "You forgot your wheelchair at the bar, that's why!"

Another jewish gag

An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and falls onto the pavement and lays there groaning in agony. A young man rushes up to help. He takes off his coat, folds it up into a pillow and as he gently places it under the old mans head he asks "Are you comfortable ?
The old man looks up into the guys kind eyes and says "Eh...I make a living"

Agony joke, Another jewish gag

Marathon

Just won my first marathon. I am experiencing the thrill of victory and the agony of de feet.

Ronda Rousey in her latest match..

She really did suffer the agony of da feet.

What dries your clothes but can also make you writhe around in agony?

A tumblr.

My daughter was playing hopscotch by herself...

So my daughter was playing hopscotch, and recited the words "*Step on a crack, and break your mother's back"

And then my wife's back bent over, I then shouted at her to stop playing, but she continued and then recited "*Step on a line and break your father's spine*"

And then the neighbor next door shouted in agony with his back bent.

You can explore agony discomfort reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean agony breaths dad jokes. There are also agony puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


i'm writing a book on overcoming foot pain

it's called the agony of defeat

What did the Jamaican say after winning the barefoot marathon?

"Da trill of victory always betta dan de agony of de feet!"

I saw a woman rolling on the ground in agony.

She looked at me and yelled, "Don't just stand there!"

So I started doing star jumps.

Body Pain

A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, Doctor I'm hurting all over my body.

That's odd , replied the doctor, Show me what you mean

So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.

The doctor says, You're not a natural brunette are you?

No I'm a blonde , she replies.

I thought so…. your finger is broken. , replies the doctor.

An old lady, after a long life of loss and agony, was going to commit suicide by shooting herself in the heart with a crossbow. She researched human anatomy and learned her heart was just under her left breast.....

She was just admitted to the ER with an arrow to the knee.

Agony joke, An old lady, after a long life of loss and agony, was going to commit suicide by shooting herself in

My wife

Not many of you know that my wife was bitten by a rattlesnake over the summer, while we were camping. After two days of horrible, writhing agony, the snake died.

A brunette and the Doctor....

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

A Russian and a Jew were on the battlefield.

The jew, hurt badly, was in agony:

-Ivan, I'm in a lot of paint. Shoot me and end my suffering.

-I can't, Avraham, I'm out of bullets.

-I'll sell you a few, Ivan.


Last night I sawa host of pale, emaciated figures, with haunted eyes that showed the agony of living death.

It was my first time in a vegan restaurant.

Stirlitz

Stirlitz saw how two German soldiers pour a gasoline on a cat and set it on fire. Poor cat runs in agony and after few seconds fall on ground and dies. He ran out of fuel - Stirlitz said.

I live in a state of constant agony.

That state is Missouri.

Man goes to a doctor complaining of eye pain...

Every time he drinks his tea. The doctor offers him a cup of tea and tells him to drink it. The guy puts two lumps of sugar in and stirs with a spoon and drinks while shouting in agony. He then says see doctor, it happens every time!
The doctor nods, then removes the tea spoon from the cup and says I have cured you now!

As she lay there in screaming agony...

her body covered in fatal burns, Superman knew this was the first and last time he would try to undress a woman with his eyes.

A man goes to a doctors office, and says Whenever I touch anywhere on my body, it hurts

He touches his arm, and screams in agony. He touches his shoulder, and screams in agony. The doctor observes all this and says, I think you have a broken finger.

A Russian joke my grandmother once told me. I hope it works in English.

A man sits at the deathbed of his mother-in-law.
She suffers very much and cries in agony:
"Oh I'm dying!" "It hurts" "I'm gonna die soon"
She stops for a seconds and says:
"Well at least the weather is nice today"

The man says: "hey dear, don't get distracted!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the agony sadness jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working agony bare piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes