Agnes Jokes

Following is our collection of marie humor and elizabeth one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Agnes puns for adults, dirty anna jokes or clean mary gags for kids.

There is an abundance of eliza jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 6 funniest jokes on agnes. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any edith witze you can hear about agnes.

The Best jokes about Agnes

Either way, the results are not good

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'

'Mrs. Sanders, please.'


'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'

'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.'

'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.

'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'

'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'

'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'

Together Again

Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, Lord, they're finally together.

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, Do you think he means her first, second or third husband? The friend replied, I think he means her legs.

A man answers a call on his cell phone.

Lady: Hello Sir, I want to meet & talk to you.
Man: Do you know me?
Lady: Yes, you are the FATHER of one of my KIDS!

Man stunned,oh my God!

Are you Fiona
Are you Julie?
Are you Cissy??
Are you Flavia?
Are you Alice?
Are you Claudia?
Are you Vannesa?
Are you Grace?
Are you Sarah?
Are you Lydia?
Are you Agnes?
Are you Oliver?
Are you Beth?
Are you Carol?
Are you Gloria?

No Sir, I am the class Teacher of your son
but you just made my day.

The MotherSuperior almost had a stroke ...

The Mother Superior was congratulating the girls in the current graduating class of the all girls parochial high school, and as she shook hands with each graduate, she asked her what she was going to become.

So Mary Teresa said a secretary, and Agnes said a homemaker, etc.

But when she got to Barbara Cecilia, Barbara Cecilia said "a prostitute".

Well, the Mother Superior turned white as a sheet and said, "What did you say, Barbara Cecilia?"

And Barbara Cecilia repeated, "A prostitute, Mother Superior."

Whereupon the Mother Superior said, "Oh, thank goodness - I thought you said 'a Protestant'!"

A Weapon Of Mass Destruction...

A cabbage and beer fart, with a couple of boiled eggs thrown in, in the second pew at the 10:00 service at St. Agnes of the Holy Water Church...

Hidden Bible code

"Sister Agnes?"

"Yes, Martha; what is it?"

"Today's reading, from Malachi. I don't understand it."

The old nun approached the bench where Martha sat between two other visually-impaired students, and wedged herself in between the three. She looked down at the weighty braille Bible Martha was reading. "What don't you understand, my dear?"

"Well," continued Martha. "It seems to be a story all about the birth of Satan, the one that was prophesied about."

Alarmed, the elderly sister snatched the Bible from Martha and ran her leathery fingers over the little dots. Then she burst out laughing, "Oh, you silly child. You are holding the book upside down."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes