Fun-Filled Aging Jokes to Boost Your Mood
A reporter was interviewing a 102-year-old woman
"What's the secret to your longevity?", he asked.
"Simple. The biggest cause of aging is stress, and the biggest cause of stress is arguing with people. So I never argue with anyone."
The reporter laughed. "That's ridiculous. That can't be the real reason."
The old lady smiled and nodded. "You're probably right."
What do you call an aging actor who has finally paid off his house?
Mortgage freeman.
Deep sleep prevents aging.
Especially when you are driving.
The aging head of a secluded Monastary decides he will take a walk into the nearby town for the first time in 30 years.
As he's walking down the street he passes a hooker on a corner who says "Hey twenty dollars for a quicky". Confused, he walks past another corner and another hooker says "Hey padre, twenty dollars for a quicky". He has no idea whats going on, so he returns to the monastary and calls the Mother Superior to his office and asks her "Whats a quicky?" She replies "Twenty dollars, same as in town".
Poison
A worried man goes to see his priest.
"Father, I am worried. I think that my wife is trying to poison me."
Said the priest: "Hold on my son, let me talk to your wife and come back to see me tomorrow, then I shall be able to give you some advice."
The following day the man aging comed to his priest who tells him: "Well my son, I have talked to your wife for nearly two hours. My advise to you is: Take the poison"
According to the BBC website, 'cocaine users are getting younger'
I have always avoided illegal narcotics but, now that I've found out that they actually reverse the aging process, I'm going to give them a go.
An old Irish woman is naked starting at herself in the mirror
Her husband walks in and asks what in the hell are you doing?
I had my physical today and my doctor told me I was a beautiful woman who should be proud of her aging body, she replied.
Yeah? And what did he say about your fat Irish ass?
You didn't come up in conversation, she replied.
(I don't know why she's Irish, but when I heard the joke she was so I'm keeping it going!)
I told my mate that I had finally retired my aging car. He asked if I'd sold it or scrapped it..
I said nothing that drastic, I just put a new set of Michelins on it.
I accidentally got anti aging cream on my block of cheddar
I've now got milk all over the kitchen top
What does an aging Sith lord with a bad hip use to get around?
An Imperial Walker
What does an aging Mafia boss do for his birthday?
Forget about it.
You can explore aging older reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean aging senile dad jokes. There are also aging puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
An aging politician asks his wife,
"Do you think I should put more fire into my speeches?"
"Actually," she replies, "I think you should put more of your speeches into the fire!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because America's aging infrastructure doesn't adequately provide footbridges or pedestrian underpasses.
My brain is like an F-22 Raptor
Aging, no longer in production and spare parts not available.
Apparently the top bestseller in Japan right now is "The Courage to be Disliked"
It's aging well for a book printed in the 1930's.
Women and Wine
I like my women like my wine, aging in the cellar.
Three great things about aging
First is meeting new friends
Second I can't remember
And the third is meeting new friends
Did you hear about the urologist who got rich doing scrotal lifts for aging men?
He decided to go for the low hanging fruit
Stars Wars is not aging well. After 40 years, Obi-Wan Kenobi cannot be more wrong.
Obi-Wan: "You will **never** find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy"
2017: "Hold my beer"
What do you call an aging chef with an unfaithful wife?
A cookold.
Q: Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan?
A: Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought that she had stopped aging.
