The Best 16 Aghast Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Aghast jokes. There are some aghast amazement jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these aghast astonishment puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Aghast Jokes and Puns
My girlfriend accused me of stealing her thesaurus
Not only was I shocked, I was also aghast, appalled and dismayed.
A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.
Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.
Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"
The mourners looked on aghast as the coffin toppled out of the car.
"We'll have to rehearse that", said the undertaker.
Trophy Girlfriend
Bill, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the country club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25-year-old blonde on his arm. She's hanging on his every word. His buddies at the club are aghast.
They corner him and ask, "Bill how did you get the trophy girlfriend?" Bill replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!" They're stunned, but continue to inquire about Bill's companion. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?" Bill says, "I lied about my age." His friends respond, "What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?"
Bill smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed as it left a New York publishing house last Thursday.
According to the Associated Press,
witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied,
confused, punchy, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered,
mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, flabbergasted,
astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, boggled,
overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, and perplexed.
A Higgs Boson walks into a Church
They are aghast.
The priest says, "You!! You claim to be a god particle. Your kind are not allowed here."
HB replies, "Then how do you have mass?"
My wife accused me of stealing her thesaurus…
I was aghast, appalled, and dismayed.
God, I wish that I'd used a condom now.
My wife walked in to the room when I was in the middle of a furious argument with our son. When he ran out of the room crying, I said to my wife, God, I wish that I'd used a condom now.
My wife was aghast and said, What! You mean you wish that our son had never been born?
I said, No, I've got his girlfriend pregnant.
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyses, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
No good deed goes unpunished
I ran into a friend of mine who looked roughed up, with a shiner and an arm in a cast. I was aghast and asked him what happened.
He: Dude, don't ask. I was on the bus, minding my own business, when the gal sitting next to me stood up as her stop was approaching, and I noticed her skirt was stuck in her buttcrack. Thought I'd do her a favor and pull the skirt back out, but she punched me in the face.
Me: That sucks, yo! What's with the arm?
He: Oh, that was for trying to make peace by pushing the skirt back in .
A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale...
A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale, and the buyer is looking at them.
"Well, this one is a fine 1951 Hudson Hornet," says the car salesman.
The buyer gasps, "A Hudson HORNET? Well, I wouldn't want to see a Hudson Wasp!"
The salesman brushes it off and shows him the next car, "this is a Porsche Spyder."
Again, the buyer is aghast, "what is with car companies naming them after insects?! What's next, a Volkswagen Beetle?!"
You can explore aghast aback reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean aghast puts dad jokes. There are also aghast puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Always pray in English...
Mr. Sharma, a Hindu suffered a heart attack. The paramedics arrived and put Mr. Sharma in the ambulance and raced towards the hospital. Realizing his time had come, Mr. Sharma started reciting the Hindu prayer, "Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om..."
10 minutes later the paramedics brought him back to his house. His wife was aghast and asked the paramedics why they brought him back home?
The paramedics replied, "as soon as we were on our way, he kept shouting hurry home, hurry home, hurry home, so we brought him back..."
Two trucks carrying thesauruses got in a wreck...
Onlookers were aghast, amazed, appalled, astonished, astounded, dismayed, offended, shocked, stunned, upset...
What did the ghost pirate say to the other ghost pirate?
Aghast ye!
A shabby looking Nun walks into a bar...
The barman takes one look at her, pulls out a shotgun and gives her both in the chest...
Aghast, I protest "Christ!? What the Hell'dya do that for?!"
With a look of regret he turns to me and whispers
"...bad habit."
How did the Jews feel during WW2?
They were aghast.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the aghast distraught jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working aghast sharply piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.