Aggressive Jokes

Following is our collection of leaks humor and hypochondria one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Aggressive puns for adults, dirty aggressively jokes or clean ferocious gags for kids.

There is an abundance of hostile jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 50 funniest jokes on aggressive. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any predatory witze you can hear about aggressive.

The Best jokes about Aggressive

I'm not passive aggressive.

Unlike *some* people.

My horse was way more aggressive than usual today

it threw me off

Don't worry if you've forgotten the first rule of Passive Aggressive Club, it's fine.

Three women sat discussing their husbands and their sex lives.

"My husband's a wrestler," said the first. "He's really strong and aggressive in bed."

"My husband's an artist," said the second. "He's really gentle and sensitive."

"My husband's an IBM salesman," said the third. "He sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how good it's going to be when I finally get it."

A zookeeper notices his prize gorilla was getting aggressive..

She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't sleep. And she constantly kept trying to attack the zookeeper. So, he did some research and found out female gorillas can become depressed and aggressive when deprived from sex.

The zookeeper then looked around for another male gorilla for her to engage in intercourse, but unfortunately the zoo couldn't afford to import a male gorilla just for her to have sex.

Giving his funding situation, he goes up to the janitor and asks him "Hey, for $500, would you have sex with this gorilla?"

The janitor thought about it for a minute, and then replied "Sure, on three conditions. First condition, I don't want to kiss her."

"Okay sure! I wouldn't expect you to!"

The janitor then stated "Second condition. I don't want anyone knowing about this ordeal."

"Sure, fine! Not a problem! What's your third condition?"

Janitor said "Give me at least 2 weeks to come up with the $500"


An 85 year old man goes to his doctor for his annual checkup...

... Doc says, Mr. Jones, I have bad news and worse news.

"Whats the worse news?"

"You have a relatively large brain tumor that is very aggressive and the treatment options are almost nonexistent, so I'm afraid you have about 6 months to live."

Mr. Jones hangs his head for a couple moments and looks up to ask, "And the bad news?"

"you have Alzheimers."

Mr. Jones frowns and says, "well, at least I don't have cancer."

Old Arabic joke going to translate the best I can

Their was a goat farmer named Kassim and his wife and one day the wife went to feed the goats. Unfortunately for her the male goat was particularly aggressive that day and mauled her to death. During her funeral the farmers brother Khalid came from another town. His brother Khalid was amazed how many people showed up to the funeral said "Kassim look how many people came to pay their respects to your wife you and her must be beloved in the area." In tears Kassim says " they are not here for the funeral they are here hoping to buy the goat".

What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat?

I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed.

The Gorilla and the Redneck

A small zoo in Georgia obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became impossible to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the gorilla was in heat, and her aggressive behavior could only be relieved with sexual interaction with a male counterpart. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

After considering nearly all possible options, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, a very strong physical man, had little sense but was always bragging about his honky tonk women. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:

"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this, and I mean no one." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", Bobby Lee said, "In the event that there are offspring, I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.00."

An old man goes to the doctor for a checkup

An old man goes to the doctor for a checkup. Doctor says, Okay I've got bad news and really bad news. Old man: Well, okay. what's the really bad news? You've got cancer. It's extremely aggressive and I'm giving you two weeks to live. Oh god....what's the bad news? You've got Alzheimer's disease. Oh what a relief! I though you were going to tell me I had cancer!

Old men and young women

Two elderly gentlemen were talking together.

"I guess you're never too old," the first one boasted. "Why, just yesterday a pretty college girl said she'd be interested in dating me. But to be perfectly honest, I don't quite understand it."

"Well," his friend said, "you have to remember that nowadays women are more aggressive. They don't mind being the one to ask."

"But great googly-moogly, man! I'm so much older than she!"

"Oh. Well, maybe she's attracted to the fatherly type."

"No, I don't think so. She also mentioned something about 'Carbon 14.'"


How many passive aggressive people does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't bother, I'll do it myself.

I just swept a girl off her feet.

I'm quite an aggressive janitor.

I met a passive aggressive witch.

She didn't curse me she just blessed everyone around me.

I'm a passive aggressive driver.

I pass other drivers and then aggressively speed towards the next one.

Top 10 most aggressive dog breeds

10: You

9: can't

8: Rank

7: Dog breeds

6: Based on

5: Their aggressiveness

4: As every

3: Dog breed

2: Is different.

1: Chihuahuas

TIL that koi fish are incredibly intelligent, and naturally form groups of four fish, with each having a specialized role.

The group is always led by a leader fish , called koi A. The other three fish will follow it everywhere.

Koi B is in charge of hunting for the group, and will report back to them with the location of food.

Koi C is usually a large, aggressive female. She protects the group from threats, and asserts dominance over other groups of koi.

And if the fish are attacked, the other three swim away, and the predator always goes for the D koi.

You're at the mall when a security guard comes up to you.

He (falsely) suspects you of attempted shoplifting.

You try to explain to him that you're not, but he thinks you're getting aggressive and trying to resist arrest.

He pulls out his taser.

What happens next may shock you...

My wife and I are playing the passive aggressive thermostat game...

She is currently winning 73 to 68


Someone once told me that I'm passive aggressive all the time

I told him to please move on in life.

Aggressiveness is in the eye of the beholder.

Until he punches you in the face. Then aggressiveness is inbetween the eyes of the beholder.

There's a group of passive aggressive people that keep saying I'm a snoopy mailman

I know because they keep writing letters about it to their friends.

What did the passive aggressive raven say to Edgar Allen Poe?

"...ugh nevermind"

I am not passive aggressive

Unlike someone

My wife and I were talking about our physical relationship.

"I wish you were more of a lion," she said.

"A lion? Why?" I asked.

She said, "They are masculine and aggressive."

"I wish you were more of a mule," I said.

"A mule? Why?" she asked.

I said, "They can't reproduce."

Two men were hiking in the Australian Outback.

Two men were hiking in the Australian Outback when an emu walked up to them.

One of the men was thrilled to see an emu so close up. The other man was more hesitant, for he read that emus can be very aggressive and hostile.

The man started to yell at the emu, "Go away, you big, fat, stupid, flightless bird! We don't want you here!"

The other man responded, "Dude, stop ostracizing it."

I just watched aggressive sex between a group of people that celebrate pride and individuality in 720p

It was HD LGBTQ BDSM

How many passive aggressive people does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't know. Why don't *you* change it yourself instead of waiting for other people to do it?

What do an aggressive teddy bear and this joke have in common?

The punch is pretty weak

Hey man, congratulations on that aggressive knuckle cancer.

(Fist bump)

They're adding a new weight class to boxing.

It's to go along with "Lightweight", "Heavyweight", and the like. They're calling it "Menstruweight".

Due to being much more aggressive than the other weight classes, they're only allowed to fight for about five days out of the month.

What's the most aggressive fast food business right now?

its nacho business

Why did REO Speedwagon have to get rid of their aggressive pet cat?

They couldn't fight this feline anymore.

1 in 3 homicides start with a passive aggressive note.

But of course you are too busy to read it.

A cheerleader wants to warn her friend a bee is flying straight towards her so what does she yell?

BEE, AGGRESSIVE, BEE BEE AGGRESSIVE!

What do you get when you give a computer programmer an aggressive dermal viral infection?

Open sores.

I'd tell you my passive aggressive joke...

But only a complete idiot would laugh at it.

The prostate examiner has been too aggressive with his patients recently....

The prostate examiner has been too aggressive with his patients recently...

Hes was caught red handed.

I work at a hospital. The staff are really stressed out and are being passive aggressive toward each other.

They keep telling each other to be positive.

What do you call an aggressive rivalry between two restaurants down by the quay?

Masern wharf fare.

If someone does something to annoy you, DONT just be passive aggressive about.

Unlike SOME people I know.

SWEETIE I HAVE A SURPRISE

Tom and Mary were walking in the woods. It was dark. Mary looked anxiously over at Tom. Something was wrong.

« Tom, are you okay?? »
« I'm fine, just walk. »

Tom's voice was aggressive and he clenched his fists. Turning away from her, he sighed; Mary saw a cold metallic object in his left hand. Tom looked back at her with a mad glint in his eye, and Mary reeled back. Something was up. She stepped back. He stepped forwards. Both were anxious and on edge.

Tom lunged towards Mary, lifting the glaring metal until it grazed her hand. Tom was on one knee. Tom had proposed to Mary.

What do you call five aggressive people in front of a club?

Punchline.

What's an aggressive soccer mom?

Tupperwarior.

Why is the computer so aggressive?

It bytes

Asthmatic people are so aggressive

This girl was punching and kicking me and kept on gasping and making noises.

All I really did was take her inhaler.

The Earth was and is still quite aggressive towards the Nazis...

As its always tilted on the Axis

Yoga studios are kinda aggressive.

When I go to leave they always tell me "Nah must stay!"

What is it when someone aggressively sits on your face?

A Buttack!

What state has the biggest rate of aggressive public beggars?

Florida

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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