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Aggravates Jokes

22 aggravates jokes and hilarious aggravates puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about aggravates that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Aggravates Short Jokes

Short aggravates jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The aggravates humour may include short jokes also.

  1. I was making fun of some sodium chloride and ended up being charged with aggravating a salt.
  2. I wanted a new drill for my birthday, so when my wife asked, I told her to get a Black and Decker... She's due in court next week on a racially-aggravated assault charge.
  3. Me and my girlfriend go really well together. First off, we've both been arrested. Her for aggravated assault and me for aggravated apepper
  4. The government swore to shut down Fortnite due to claims of the video game aggravating children and teens worldwide. Two weeks later, Fortnight was finished.
  5. You guys hear about the pepper shaker that was attacked by the salt shaker? Apparently the salt shaker was arrested and charged with aggravated as-*salt*
  6. Why was the angry anti-feminist blogger arrested? He was charged with aggravated textual assault.
  7. What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? No seriously! There is no punchline.
  8. They call me the battery Because I'm charged with 17 accounts of m**..., 67 accounts of kidnapping and 326 accounts of aggravated and first degree arson.

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Aggravates One Liners

Which aggravates one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with aggravates? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. Why shouldn't you excite sodium chloride? Because then you'll have aggravated a salt.
  2. Don't ever try to aggravate a person named Adam. When they snap, the world is destroyed.
  3. Why did the pepper shaker get arrested? He aggravated a salt
    Source: My Dad

Aggravates Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about aggravates you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make aggravates pranks.

So there's this man with a parrot.

And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a p**.... He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the t**..., shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

Two guys are out hunting deer.

The first guy says "Did you see that?"
No" the second guy says.
Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead.
Oh.
A couple of minutes later, the first guy says "Did you see that?"
See what?"
Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there.
Oh".
A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says "Yes, I did!"
Then why did you step in it?"

"♪ ♫ He sees you when you're sleeping He knows when you're awake... ♪, ♫"

Which is why Santa Clause was arrested and convicted for aggravated stalking and unlawful breaking and entering by a jury of his peers in a court of law.

An elderly man goes to a shopping mall...

... And decides to sit down for a while in the food court. A few moments pass by and a young man sits a few tables away from him. This young man has a mohawk taller than half of his body and dyed every color of the rainbow. The old man begins staring at the young man and eventually the latter gets aggravated, walks up to the elderly man and asks "Whatcha staring for old man? Haven't you ever done anything wild and crazy before?" The elderly man says "Sure have. Got drunk in the Army once and had s**... with a peacock. Just trying to determine if you might be my son."

A String Walks Into A Bar

He says, "hey bar keep, I'll have a beer". The bartenders sternly replies, "we don't serve strings here". The string walks away discouraged.
He comes in a few days later and tries again, "hey bar keep, I'll take a rye". The bartender, more aggravated replies, "I told you, we don't serve strings here!" The string leaves disappointed.
The string figures he will try again a few days later. He walks up to the door of the bar and thinks for a second....This time he ties himself in a loop and messes up his hair. He walks up to the bar and says, "hello bar keep, I'll have a r**... and coke". The bartender replies, "hey, aren't you a string?" The string replies, "no, I'm afraid not"

Since we're translating Russian jokes...

A tiny little car, made out of a beer can, pulls up at a gas station.
A tiny little man inside the car honks his high-pitched horn to call over the attendant.
The attendant arrives and asks what he can do for the little man.
The little man asks for 5 drops of gasoline. The attendant carefully pumps 5 drops of fuel into the little car using an eye-dropper and asks if there's anything else.
The little man asks for 2 drop of radiator coolant. The attendant is getting aggravated but complies, and adds coolant using a teaspoon and asks if there will be anything else.
The little man asks to have the pressure in one of his tires checked. The attendant very agitated at this point replies, how should I fill that, with a f**...?

Did you see that?

"No," the second guy says.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says.
"Oh," says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy asks.
"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."
"Oh."
A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"
And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"

h**... Ma says to her son,

"Jethro, I need you to fix the outhouse."
"What fer ma?"
"Jis go 'n hava look."
So Jethro walks out to the outhouse, opens the door, and looks, "I don't see nothin wrong here ma," he says.
"Look closer," says Ma. Jethro moves into the outhouse.
"Still don't see nuthin," he says.
"Stick yer head in the hole."
"But, Ma."
"Jis do it." Of course Jethro knows better than to disobey his ma, so he sticks his head into the hole.
Then he hollers, "Oww, Ma, my beard's stuck."
"Aggravating isn't it?"