Agency Jokes
81 agency jokes and hilarious agency puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about agency that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This humorous collection of jokes will have you rolling! From a marketing agency to a child support agency and everything in between, read as you discover the funny side of any type of agency. Learn why officials in opposition of a lease agreement might make someone chuckle and why insurance agencies don’t always get the best rap. Enjoy these humorous agency jokes!
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Funniest Agency Short Jokes
Short agency jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The agency humour may include short agent jokes also.
- I met my wife in a travel agency. She was looking for a holiday and I was the last resort.
- You may not like EVERY government agency... ...but you've really gotta hand it to the IRS.
- A girl from the recruitment agency called. She said, "Sir, I have three openings for you."
I said, "I know."
She hung up. - What do you call a potato that becomes US President and silences the news, silences government agencies, silences government funded science and ends international treaties? A dic-tater.
- What do you call a real estate agency opened by a detective? Sherlock Homes
(I don't know if it was posted before but I found the joke by myself ) - Working at the unemployment agency would have to be a tense job Knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.
- An unemployed guy gets a call from the lady at the Employment agency Lady : I have two openings for you.
Guy : I know.
The lady hangs up. - I wrote a college paper about government agencies slowly encroaching on internet privacy. It's called "NSA: An Essay."
- What does the Bacteria's recruitment agency say when it sees a fresh wound? Hello guys, there are openings.
- I recently started a recruitment agency that only deals with the underground mining industry. It's called, Staff It Where The Sun Don't Shine.
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Agency One Liners
Which agency one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with agency? I can suggest the ones about advisor and broker.
- The three most well-known spy agencies are the CIA, KGB, and MI5. The rest are good.
- What's Canada's intelligence agency called? The C.I. Eh
- I like the NSA They're the only government agency that listens
- What will the gas stove enforcement agency be filled with? "gas-stop-o" agents
- If Apple made a drug enforcement agency... ...it would be a good iDEA
- Did you hear about Steve Harvey's new job? Hawaii Emergency Management Agency.
- Introducing the nihilist dating agency ... for people who have nothing in common
- Ever wonder why African dating agencies are so successful? The clients always click
- What do you call a space agency that doesn't go to space? NASA.
- Did you know Han Solo had an employment agency? Han Jobs
- What does the NSA stand for? No Such Agency.
- What agency did Agent Smith work for in The Matrix? Code Enforcement.
- I work at a foster care agency with a rent to own policy... It's called wombs to go.
- Our corporate travel agency booked me a flight on United I got reservations.
- What do you call a Canadian Spy Agency? The CIEh
Travel Agency Jokes
Here is a list of funny travel agency jokes and even better travel agency puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Travel agency named „Bermuda triangle" – Let us meet on the other side.
Dating Agency Jokes
Here is a list of funny dating agency jokes and even better dating agency puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I went to the first online dating agency I could find and within 1 hour had met my wife! It was love at first site
- I contacted Screwfix the other day. Once again they have assured me they're not a dating agency.
Intelligence Agency Jokes
Here is a list of funny intelligence agency jokes and even better intelligence agency puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Most countries can boast that their intelligence agencies installed spies in foreign countries. The Russians can boast that they installed a president.
- It shouldn't be called the Central Intelligence Agency, it's headquarters is in Virginia. That's nowhere near the centre of the USA
Uproarious Agency Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about agency you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean insurance agent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make agency pranks.
A husband and a wife were searching for a hotel near the ocean...
The travel agency hooked them up with a four star hotel for a great price, and they decided to go with it. The agency described the hotel as 'a stone's throw from the beach'. "How will we know which one it is?" the wife asked. "Simple", the agency replied; "It's the one with all the broken windows."
Since we seem to be doing talking dog jokes today...
A man walks into a talent agency, carrying a small, scruffy looking dog. He sets the dog on the agent's desk and begins his speech:
"Sir, I have for you the most amazing act. This dog can speak. And not only can he speak, he's one of the most intelligent dogs you'll ever meet. Allow me to demonstrate: Dog, what is on the top of a house?"
"Roof!" Says the dog.
"Amazing! Dog: what is the opposite of smooth?"
"Roof!" the dog replies.
"Incredible! Dog: who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?"
Again, the dog says "Roof!"
"Remarkable! So what do you think?"
The agent leans back in his chair and says "Get lost. I can't sell that carny act."
Outside the agent's office, the dog looks up at the man and says "Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"
A guy walks into a store and says...
A guy walks into a store and says, Excuse me, I'd like to buy a guitar pick and some strings.
The clerk looks at him uncomprehendingly. Pardon?
I'd like a guitar pick, please, and some strings.
The clerk thinks for a moment and says, You're a drummer, aren't you?
Yeah! How did you know?
This is a travel agency.
What do call a girl who works at an ad agency?
Brandy
Identical Twins
A pair of identical twins is born and they are soon put up for adoption. One twin is adopted by a Spanish family, and given the name Juan. Another twin is adopted by an Egyptian family and he is named Amal.
Many years later, the biological parents decide that they would like to connect with their twins that were put up for adoption. Through the adoption agency, they contact the Spanish family and have a nice reunion with their son.
When the adoption agency asks the parents if they'd like to meet the other identical twin, the father says "No thanks. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
Me and my girlfriend couldn't have a baby so we decided to visit and adoption agency.
It was so exciting while we were sitting in there and thinking that we would finally be able to take off the baby on board sticker.
What's the best way to make money with a plus-size modeling agency?
Life insurance policies.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend got a job at a temp agency, getting a job giving people jobs
So he's basically a p**...
A husband and wife are unable to have children, so they decide to adopt...
They eventually find a boy from Spain named Juan, and bring him back to America to live with them.
Years later, they learn from the adoption agency that Juan has a twin brother, who was raised by an Arab family. His parents were tragically killed, so the boy, named Amal, needs a home to live. So, since they wanted another kid anyways, they decide to adopt him.
The husband and wife are looking through the adoption papers for Amal a few days before seeing him, and the wife glances at a picture of him, and asks the husband if he would like to know what the boy looks like.
The husband shrugs and says: "Well, they are twin brothers, so I think I already know what he looks like. You know, once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
What do you call a law enforcement agency that refuses to buy it's own vehicles?
The Pro-lease department
What does a sandwich shop and an adult film casting agency have in common?
Both offer 6 and 12 inches in many varieties.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There have been so many recent t**... attacks in the US
It *almost* makes you wish we had some kind of national agency that could monitor people's communication and act to stop things like this before they happen
The US Drug Enforcement Agency is considering making an app for iPhone.
Now there's a good iDEA
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two bottles of v**... walk into an adoption agency...
The adoption agent looks at them and says "Sorry, we don't serve minors to alcohol."
'Knock knock'
'Who's there'
'Okay Google'
'Okay Google, who?'
'Sorry I didn't catch that'
'OKAY GOOGLE WHO?'
'The World Health Organization is a specialized agency of the United Nations that is concerned with international public health. It was established on 7 April 1948, headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland. '
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What NSA really stands for
n**... Stealing Agency
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do the Politsiya (Russian federal agency) always go around in groups of three?
One can read, one can write, and one keeps an eye on the two dangerous intellectuals.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I rang a local e**... agency and asked for a BJ....
She put me through to their head office
People say that adopted kids aren't loved the same as biological kids.
You'd have to be pretty drunk to accidentally spend $40,000 at an adoption agency.
The British agency seem unsure of their own age...
You'd guess they are old enough to stop asking MI5 or MI6...
Did you hear about the career agency that offered Jesus a position?
They heard he had hire powers.
A Woman Has Twins
A woman has twins, and but is down on her luck so she decides to give them up for adoption. The adoption agency can't find a home that would take them both so they had to be split up. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her friend that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her friend responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
I called the Border Agency and a dog answered the phone.
It was a Border Callee
A man walks into a talent agency with a litter of kittens...
The Agent asks: "What do you call this?"
The man responds: "The Aristocats!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
NASA is weird
because it's Not A Space Agency.
sorry, for the ''joke''. it s**....
Adoption Agent: Welcome to the adoption agency, how may I help you?
Me: yes, I would like to put up my grades for adoption
Adoption Agent: wth..?... sir...you must be mistaken ...we...
Me: *crying* Please...help...
...I can't raise them on my own
The Secret Service is the worst agency in the USA.
Everybody's heard of them.
A man walks into a talent agency with his dog claiming it can talk. The agent says, ok, let's see if this dog is gonna make us rich . The guy says, Fido, what's the top of a house called ? Roof! What's on a tree ? Bark! How does sandpaper feel ? Ruff!
The talent agent tells the man off and kicks him out of his office. As the man and the dog are walking down the street the dog looks up at the man and says, Gee Bob, maybe you should have asked some harder questions .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One thing that bothers me about The Matrix is that Trinity is just there as a love interest for Neo
I just wish she had some more **agency**.
Someone on the street asked me:
What's your business?
me: I have a drive-by prostitution agency.
How's business?
me: It comes and goes.
A couple who work in the circus go to an adoption agency.
Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.
The couple produce photos of their 50 ft motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."
Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment.
"Our nanny is an expert in paediatric welfare and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied.
They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
"It doesn't really matter, as long as he fits in the cannon"
A man calls the National Security Agency...
Man: Hello, I heard you record all our phone conversations, is that correct?
Agent: No sir, we don't do that
Man: Oh shoot. I was just talking to my wife and she gave me a list of things to do and I can't remember! I thought I would check with you rather than call her back and let her know I wasn't listening!
Agent: I'm sorry to hear that sir, but as I said, we don't listen to civilian conversations. However, you should:
1. Pick up a gallon of milk
2. 2 dozen eggs
3. 4 Macintosh apples
4. Help Sofia with her math homework
....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys chatting at the bar....
One says, "I committed an embarrassing faux pas this morning. Went to the travel agency to buy some plane tickets. The young girl had the most spectacular b**... and I accidentally asked for two plane-t**..." His mate replies, "Oh yes. I did the exact same thing this morning. Went to ask my wife to pass the corn-flakes and accidentally said, "You fat cow, you've totally ruined my life"'
The Russian Agency of Research and Automation has been commissioned by Putin to develop a new robot to make gloves for the pandemic that are superior to all others. They have named it in his honour.
It's called RARA's grasp-Putin, Russia's greatest glove machine.
A Soviet citizen is buying a car
He finally saved up enough rubles, went to the agency, and paid for a car.
He is told, "Come back on August 8th, 1983 to pick up your new car"
"But that's eight years from now."
"Yes, isn't it wonderful? The wait used to be ten years."
"Okay, fine. August 8th, 1983. Morning or afternoon?"
"It's eight years away. What difference does it make?"
"The plumber is coming in the morning."
I went for an audition at a talent agency today.
They asked "so what's your special talent?"
I said "I do bird impressions!"
They said "sorry, that's not original we have had loads of them!"
I said "fair enough!!"...
and flew out the window.
Back in the USSR
In the days of state control, a Russian man saved and saved and saved until he finally had enough money to buy a car.
He took the bus to the state car agency to arrange the purchase.
After an hour of filling in paperwork, he handed over the money and asked when he could pick it up.
The agent looked at a book and replied "exactly one year from today."
The man thought for a minute and asked "morning or afternoon"?
The agent, surprised, said "morning or afternoon! It's next year. What difference does it make?"
The man replied "The plumber is coming in the morning..."
