Gather Around for Fun Afterward Jokes and Laughter with Friends
I'm a 21-year-old multimillionaire. Here's how I did it.
1. I get up at 5:00 AM every day
2. I run for an hour before breakfast
3. Afterward, I take a cold shower to wake me up.
4. Journaling is key. You never know when you might need to remember something.
5. Always write down an appointment as soon as you get it.
6. My dad owns a Fortune 500 company.
7. I meditate every day
adam and eve finally figured out the whole sex thing...
afterward, adam's kicked back, dazed.
god asks "son, where's eve?"
to which adam replies "she's down at the stream, washing up."
god groans "now i'll never get that smell outta those fish."
Pirates never shower before they walk the plank.
They just wash up on shore afterward.
One for $1, three for $4
A man is walking up to a coffee stand to get his daily cup of coffee for $1, when he notices their new special where you can buy three cups for $4.
I'd like a cup of coffee, said the man, handing in a dollar bill.
He realizes he can cheat the system by buying two more cups of coffee, and saving a dollar. I'd like two more cups, please, he said, handing in another $2.
Afterward, he asks the guy in the stand, Why are you selling three cups of coffee for $4 when you could buy three separate cups for $3?
To which the stand dude replied, you could've just bought one cup like you do every day.
A man picks up a girl at a party. They proceed to her place and things start to heat up....
He takes his shirt off and then washes his hands. He takes his pants off and washes hands again. After watching this for a few minutes, the girl says, "I bet you're a dentist." Surprised he replies, "That's correct. How did you know?" "You keep washing your hands, so I figure you're used to it ..." They go on and have sex and then afterward she says, "You know what? I'm willing to bet you're a very good dentist." "Oh? How can you tell?" he asks. "Well, I didn't feel a thing..."
I haven't had sex since 1956!
A woman asked a General in the army the last time he made love to a woman, the general stood tall and said "1956 ma'am." The woman, taken back by this answer said "1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better..." and the two sauntered away to a private room. The woman began to strip and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the army general afterward and said "well, you sure haven't forgotten any thing since 1956...". The general looked at her confused and said "well I sure hope not. It's only 2130 now!"
Shout out to u/mister_damage
What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
You can throw your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for two weeks afterward
Guilty and Depression!
A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist.
"Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."
"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."
"For Pete's sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward."
I lived with stoners in college and suffered terrible side effects...
For years afterward, I thought I was funny.
A guy goes to a barbershop
The barber claims to have a new machine that can cut everyone's hair equally well.
But that's ridiculous! Says the customer, not everyone has the same size and shaped head!
The barber responds, They do afterward
A man hasn't been feeling so well so he goes to the doctor...
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine..."
You can explore afterward earlier reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean afterward hesitant dad jokes. There are also afterward puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why don't cops get tired of beating people?
They have a chance for arrest afterward
Thank you, I'll see myself out
Kids at the Wedding
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
What is the best part about taking a shower?
Not being able to see yourself in the mirror afterward.
I just spotted an albino dalmation.
He seemed happy to look normal afterward.
They say sex after marriage is not the same. My sex life is like the Olympics!
Happens once every four years, costs me lots of money, & there's usually a big fight afterward.
To be fair Hillary once took someone's speech.
Afterward Vince Foster didn't walk much either.
