Afterward Jokes

36 afterward jokes and hilarious afterward puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about afterward that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Best Short Afterward Jokes

Short afterward puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The afterward humour may include short aftermath jokes also.

  1. COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
  2. Covid is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards, he wrongly believed he'd won an election he actually lost by millions of votes.
  3. Did you hear about the guy who had to be exorcised? He couldn't pay the priest afterwards and got repossessed.
  4. I don't know why, but the record for oldest person seems to be cursed. Every time someone gets it, they die shortly afterwards.
  5. I told an overweight joke the other day A woman came up to me afterwards and said "You're fattist"
    I looked her and said "actually....
  6. I bought the love of my life some fish from Washington, but she dumped me immediately afterwards. Oh well, there's plenty more fish in DC.
  7. Snow White and the 7 Dwarves were all in bed feeling happy Happy left soon afterwards, so they started feeling grumpy
  8. How do you make a hormone? You pay her.
    (This was told at my pharmacy school. We laughed and then felt shame afterwards.)
  9. Giving birth isn't as painful as being kicked in the nuts I've never heard a man say 'let's do that again' afterwards
  10. yesterday on the street I saw 2 guys vaccinating themselves It must have been their second shot because they looked woozy pretty soon afterwards
Afterward joke, yesterday on the street I saw 2 guys vaccinating themselves

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about afterward can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of afterward puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Afterward One Liners

Which afterward one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with afterward? I can suggest the ones about after exam and after thanksgiving.

  1. Pirates never shower before they walk the plank. They just wash up on shore afterward.
  2. I had some bad middle eastern food yesterday I just felafel afterwards.
  3. I only sleep with democrats. That way, I don't have to worry about the baby afterwards.
  4. I don't like eating weirdly named foods I always Falafel afterwards
  5. I gave my mother superglue instead of her lipstick. She didn't even complain afterwards.
  6. I'm semi-bulemic I binge eat but forget to throw up afterwards.
  7. I just spotted an albino dalmation. He seemed happy to look normal afterward.
  8. What did the person who killed Notorious BIG say afterwards? No biggie.
  9. I climbed a really tall ladder. Afterwards, I was rung out.
  10. My wife told me to give the cat a bath.. My tongue was so sore afterwards
  11. My wife is much happier with a beer inside her. I just wish she'd drink it afterwards.
  12. Rapunzel got a haircut recently She said she felt lightheaded afterwards.
  13. I did 300 leg extensions at the gym the other day... My leg was pretty long afterwards.
  14. What did the bomber say afterwards?
  15. Why people cry during the weddings? ...they are preparing for whats coming afterwards

Afterward joke, Why people cry during the weddings?

Gather Around for Fun Afterward Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about afterward you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean after shave jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make afterward prank.

I haven't had s**... since 1956

A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied "1956, ma'am." The woman, in disbelief said "1956?! That long? Come with me and let me make your night better." The woman and general went back to her apartment and made passionate love for over an hour. Afterwards, the woman cuddled up to the general and said "Well, you sure haven't forgotten anything since 1956..." The general looked at her, confused, and replied "I sure hope not, it's only 2130 now."

I'm a 21-year-old multimillionaire. Here's how I did it.

1. I get up at 5:00 AM every day
2. I run for an hour before breakfast
3. Afterward, I take a cold shower to wake me up.
4. Journaling is key. You never know when you might need to remember something.
5. Always write down an appointment as soon as you get it.
6. My dad owns a Fortune 500 company.
7. I meditate every day

The Jewish way

As a Jew I have a soft spot for jokes about my own people, and this is one of my favorites that isn't so well known.
A Jewish man walks into a w**.... The madame asks him what he'd like. He asks if any of the women there can have s**... "the Jewish way". Puzzled, she goes to each of the unoccupied rooms, and asks the woman inside if she's familiar with having s**... the Jewish way. Finally, they get to the last room. Inside is a p**... who's extremely talented, and is one of the most expensive in the area. She asks, "do you know how to have s**... the Jewish way? This man's looking for a woman who does". She responds, "no, I haven't. But to stay at the top of my profession, I'm always looking to improve. If you teach me how to have s**... the Jewish way, we'll do that free of charge".
The man accepts the offer, and they have s**.... She's surprised to find that it's just regular s**...! Afterwards, she asks "What were you talking about, 'the Jewish way'? You just had s**... with me, the most expensive h**... in town, for free?!" He smiles and replies, "that's the Jewish way!".

A woman in my office died.

A woman in my office died.
It's not like I didn't notice but for months afterwards I kept on copying her into emails.
Some people got upset and I was like
'Sorry - I CC dead people.'

A woman is out playing golf...

...and she gets stung by a bee. It's annoying, but she finishes her game. Afterwards, she's having a drink in the clubhouse and mentions to one of the golf pros hanging out there what happened.
"Oh that's too bad," he says. "Where did you get stung?"
"Right between the first and second hole," she tells him.
"Hmmm," he says, "Sounds like your stance is too wide."

adam and eve finally figured out the whole s**... thing...

afterward, adam's kicked back, dazed.
god asks "son, where's eve?"
to which adam replies "she's down at the stream, washing up."
god groans "now i'll never get that smell outta those fish."

A married couple is having a baby...

As she is going into labor, the doctor asks the man, "would you like to take part in this new technology that allows half the pain of the pregnancy to be put on to the father." The husband accepts, and they go on with the birth. Afterwards they ask him how he felt, he replied, "I didn't feel anything I don't understand what the big deal is about this. Later that day, they find the postman dead at their house.

I have a male to female trans friend who just finished her gender reassignment surgery.

I asked how she felt afterwards and she said...
"I feel hole inside!"
(This joke is not meant to be transphobic, it exists purely for the pun. Trans rights!)

I went to Japan alone and visited a temple

I went to Japan alone and visited a temple that everyone says miracles could happen after prayers.

Once arrived, I opened my wallet, and poured all my money into the offering box and prayed,
"God, I want a girlfriend, it would be great if she's from Japan, and she likes anime like I do. Please grant my wish."

I went for a coffee afterwards, when I pay for the bill, I saw that all of the money I offered was back in my wallet.

Two couples decided to swap partners for s**...

Two couples decided to swap partners for s**....
Afterwards, one of the guys said," That felt great! I wonder how the girls are doing."

First Impressions

A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with s**....
Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.
Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"

The wedding night

A young women marries a very rich very old man. On the wedding night they have adjoining suites. The young woman tells her husband that she loves him for his mind and that he should feel no performance pressure. If he feels up to s**... to just knock on her door.
She goes to bed expecting a restful and undisturbed night but about 5 minutes later there is a knock and in comes the old man. They proceed to have fairly rambunctious s**... after which the old man returns to his room. The bride settles back to go to sleep. 10 min later there is another knock at the door and in he comes again, and another round of s**.... Afterward he again leaves. The young bride is very tired by now and is looking forward to a good night's sleep. 10 minutes later there is another knock at the door. She bursts out incredulously, "Again?". The old man opens the door and replies, "What? Have I been here before?"

Afterward joke, The wedding night

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these afterward jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.