Aftershave Jokes
36 aftershave jokes and hilarious aftershave puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about aftershave that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Aftershave Short Jokes
Short aftershave jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The aftershave humour may include short after shave jokes also.
- Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas. Can't wait to see his face light up.
- Eminem needs to release an aftershave and shower gel gift set for Christmas Eminessence and Marshal Lathers.
- Apparently there's a battle for the rights to Star Wars aftershave. It's The Cologne Wars.
- I invented a new aftershave in honour of the Omicron virus I named it 'Leave me the Far Cologne'
- Yul Brynner was a lifelong liverpool fan who didn't wear aftershave Yul never wore cologne
- Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it.
It smells of $50 dollar bills - Got my self some new aftershave for the weekend, it's called Breadcrumbs The birds love it.
- I sprayed some Axe Wilder having splashed on a dash of aftershave Pryor. People say I've got great scents of humor.
- I once went to a country where the president was a bottle of aftershave It was under cologne-ial rule...
- What's that smell? Girl: Eugh it smells like bleach in here
Guy: Sorry love it must be my aftershave, it's eau de toilette
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Aftershave One Liners
Which aftershave one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with aftershave? I can suggest the ones about deodorant and perfume.
- I've got a new aftershave called breadcrumbs The birds love it
- If we used the same logic behind Aftershave... We would call soap 'Aftershit'.
- have you smelled my new seeded aftershave? The birds love it.
- What do you cal two identical bottles of aftershave? CL-ones
- Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
- What is a gorillas' favourite aftershave? Paco Harambe
- what aftershave does James bond uses after retirement? Old Spyce.
Quirky and Hilarious Aftershave Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about aftershave you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shaving razor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make aftershave pranks.
Barack and Trump found themselves at a local barbershop. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump reached for the aftershave. Donald was quick to stop him, saying, "No thanks. My wife, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.
"A Marine and his commanding officer.....!!!"
A Marine and his commanding officer were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The marine shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a w**...!" The commanding officer turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a w**... smells like."
Aftershave's aftereffects.
A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a w**...!"
The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a w**... smells like.
The older man and his problems
A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform s**.... He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.
Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"
The medicine man replies: "When your partner can take no more s**... and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. But be warned: The pork swordsman will not rise again for another year."
The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. That night he showers, shaves, and smothers himself in aftershave. He slides into bed,cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised.
His wife turns over and asks: "What did you say '123' for?"
Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop
Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each one being worked on by a different barber, not one word was spoken. When the barbers finished shaving, the barber that had Trump reached for the aftershave. Trump quickly stopped him saying: No thanks, Melania will smell that and think I've been in a brothel. The second barber turned to Biden and said, How about you, Mr. Biden? Joe replied, Go ahead, Jill doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.
Shopping back then
My pop was telling me about how back in the fifties you could get so much more from the shops.
Het tells me "we used to be able to go into grace brothers with ten dollars and come out with two pairs of socks, some new u**..., a razor or two and a small bottle of aftershave."
But unfortunately as he tells me, "you can't get that much for ten dollars anymore...there's too many security cameras"
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barbershop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
One of the better Trump jokes I have heard
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
Trump and Obama at a Barber shop
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**....
As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
Obama and Trump get a shave...
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
Trump and Obama at the barber
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
Obama vs trump
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn n**.... As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
Source : Quora
President Trump and ex-President Obama go to the Barbershop...
They each enter the establishment, and take their seats with different barbers. Neither says a word, and even the barbers dare not speak, fearing that any conversation would soon turn political.
At the end of the service, as each man got ready to leave, Trump's barber offers him the aft**e**rshave.
Trump is quick to stop him: "No thanks, buddy. My wife will smell it and think I've been at a w**...".
Obama's barber turns to him and offers the same.
Obama replies: "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a w**... smells like".
Barack V/s Trump
Barack Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop, can you just imagine…
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn n**....
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.
But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama ?"
Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."