Aftershave Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Aftershave puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Aftershave

Barack and Trump found themselves at a local barbershop. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump reached for the aftershave. Donald was quick to stop him, saying, "No thanks. My wife, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."

The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.

"A Marine and his commanding officer.....!!!"

A Marine and his commanding officer were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The marine shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" The commanding officer turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas.

Can't wait to see his face light up.

Aftershave's aftereffects.

A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.

The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"

The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.

Barack V/s Trump

Barack Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop, can you just imagine…

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn nasty.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.

But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."

The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama ?"

Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."


Obama vs trump

Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."

Source : Quora

So Barack Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop...

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama ?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."

Geriatric pick-up lines.

A rather elderly gentleman (mid-eighties) walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. He is very well-dressed, smelling slightly of an expensive after-shave, hair well-groomed, great-looking suit, flower in his lapel. He presents a suave, well-looked-after image.

Seated at the bar is an elderly fine-looking lady (mid-seventies).
The gentleman walks over, sits along-side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, good looking, do I come here often?"

Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barbershop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."

Eminem needs to release an aftershave and shower gel gift set for Christmas

Eminessence and Marshal Lathers.

Trump and Obama at a Barber shop

Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty.
As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."


Shopping back then

My pop was telling me about how back in the fifties you could get so much more from the shops.

Het tells me "we used to be able to go into grace brothers with ten dollars and come out with two pairs of socks, some new undies, a razor or two and a small bottle of aftershave."

But unfortunately as he tells me, "you can't get that much for ten dollars anymore...there's too many security cameras"

Trump and Obama at the barber

Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."

Yul Brynner was a lifelong liverpool fan who didn't wear aftershave

Yul never wore cologne

President Trump and ex-President Obama go to the Barbershop...

They each enter the establishment, and take their seats with different barbers. Neither says a word, and even the barbers dare not speak, fearing that any conversation would soon turn political.

At the end of the service, as each man got ready to leave, Trump's barber offers him the aft**e**rshave.

Trump is quick to stop him: "No thanks, buddy. My wife will smell it and think I've been at a whorehouse".

Obama's barber turns to him and offers the same.

Obama replies: "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like".

Obama and Trump get a shave...

Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel." The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."

I've got a new aftershave called breadcrumbs

The birds love it

It's a little known fact that superstar actor Yul Brynner was a huge Liverpool F.C fan. He also refused to use aftershave as it made his skin come up in hives.....

Yul never wore cologne!

Fun fact: The actor Yul Brynner was a lifelong Liverpool fan and never wore aftershave.

That's right, Yul never wore cologne.


If we used the same logic behind Aftershave...

We would call soap 'Aftershit'.

A Husband Wonders How His Wife Would Move On If He Died

One day, a husband is wondering what his wife would do if he suddenly died.

"Darling," he says. "If I was to suddenly die I don't want to feel like you could never find love again."

His wife shakes her head. "Oh, it would be difficult at first but I think I would manage."

The husband thinks for a moment and asks, "would you let your new man use my things?"

"Which things," asks the wife.

"Hmm. What about my aftershave - you know, the one you really like. Would you let him use that?"

The wife thinks for a moment. "Yes, I don't see why not."

"Ok," says the husband. "What about my CDs. Would you let him use those aswell?"

Again the wife pauses for a moment before answering. "Yes, I can't see that would be a problem."

The husband nods in agreement. "Yes, that's fine. But what about my golf clubs? Would you let me use those too?"

The wife answers without pausing this time.

"Oh no darling, of course not. He's left handed."

From The Times

I'm surprised no one else has reported this. There was a revelation about Yul Brunner in The Times yesterday. Apparently, he was a great Liverpool supporter. It was also reported that he refused to use after-shave. Yes, Yul never wore Cologne.

Got my self some new aftershave for the weekend, it's called Breadcrumbs

The birds love it.

Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy?

No! Tell me about it.
It smells of $50 dollar bills

I sprayed some Axe Wilder having splashed on a dash of aftershave Pryor.

People say I've got great scents of humor.

have you smelled my new seeded aftershave?

The birds love it.

What do you cal two identical bottles of aftershave?

CL-ones

What's that smell?

Girl: Eugh it smells like bleach in here
Guy: Sorry love it must be my aftershave, it's eau de toilette

I once went to a country where the president was a bottle of aftershave

It was under cologne-ial rule...

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes