The Best 32 Afterlife Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Afterlife jokes. There are some afterlife hades jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these afterlife thatcher puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Afterlife Jokes and Puns
Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...
She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one."
He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".
This one is special to me. My grandfather was a jokester all his life. About a month after he died, I had a lucid dream where I was talking to him, and imagined him telling me one last joke:
Me: "Pop pop, what is the afterlife like?"
Him: "It's hot."
3 Men's Afterlives
Three men get into a horrible car accident, and all three die together. As they are waiting in limbo, they start talking about the Afterlife. As it turns out, one man is Muslim, one man is Buddhist, the last is Christian.
The Muslim says, "I'm going to enjoy my 40 virgins until my wife shows up!"
The Buddhist says, "Reincarnation is going to be a blast.. until I find my wife again."
The Christian man starts laughing, and the others seem puzzled.
"My wife's an athiest."
Hitler and Stalin walk together in the afterlife
... they stop next two people and Hitler tells Stalin: "Let me tell you of my plan: I am going to kill six million Jews and a mechanic.
one of the two people hear this and asks Hitler "Why kill the mechanic?"
Hitler turns to Stalin and says: "see? I told you nobody cares about the Jews"
What was the suicide bomber greeted by in the afterlife?
A group of 40 other suicide bombers.
TIL The chicken crossing the road jokes real meaning
To get to the other side was also a comment on the afterlife, as in the "other side" as in knowing he'd die crossing the road. I'm 37, heard this joke so many times, and not once put this together till now. /mind blown
Who did the ghost-boy write to during his trip to ghost-summercamp?
There is no afterlife.
What did the ancient Egyptians say when they didn't get into the afterlife?
dAMMIT.
I Heard that the Afterlife in Greek Mythology was Pretty Boring.
I wonder why Hades didn't liven things up a bit.
If ball is life, where is the afterlife?
Ballhalla
Afterlife for IRS Cheaters
Tony and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells Tony that because he cheated on his income taxes, the only way he can enter Heaven is to sleep with a stupid, ugly woman for the next five years.
A few days later, as Tony's walking in the park with his stupid, hideous new girlfriend, he spots his friend John with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman. "John, what happened?" Tony asks.
"I have no idea," John replies. "I was told I have five years of amazing sex to look forward to. The only thing I don't understand is why she always yells 'Damn income taxes!' whenever we have sex."
You can explore afterlife heavenly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean afterlife death dad jokes. There are also afterlife puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I hope surnames are not preditive of the afterlife
For Pete's sake.
Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...
Wham!
So a priest walks up to an atheist and says afterlife.
The atheist stares and says I don't get it.
The priest says I know.
Join Islam and you'll get seventy virgins in the afterlife
Join Oxfam and you'll get Haiti.
Billy Graham and Stephen Hawking meet each other in the afterlife.
That was Amazing! Billy says to Stephen.
It sure was, let's do that again! Only this time I get to be the bad cop.
Why do Muslims believe the afterlife is more important than the current life?
If you lived in the Middle East, you would too.
XXXTentacion just beat Taylor Swift's Spotify streaming record
Even in the afterlife, XXX is still beating women
Ancient Egyptians who worked to preserve the Pharaoh for the afterlife are known for having being very good businessmen. In fact, they even invented what we know today as the "return policy."
It was know back then as the "mummy back guarantee..."
A man with terminal cancer robbed a bank and was sent to prison.
A fellow inmate asked him, "Why did you commit this crime? You can't take money with you into the afterlife, and now you're going to spend your last days in prison!"
The man replied, "I knew I was going to get caught. That's the point! My doctor gave me six months, but the judge gave me thirty years."
I don't understand why Islamic extremists would blow themselves up for the prospect of getting 72 virgins in the Afterlife
Just become a Catholic priest and get it now!
In the afterlife, what do people celebrate?
Their Urniversary.
2 years ago, my wife and children died in a car accident. I've been so lonely, and it's been too long, so I'm ending it all to be reunited with them in the afterlife.
Seriously, I'm dying to see them.
People ask whether I'll make cheese in my afterlife. I tell them,
There's no whey in hell.
My dad died, and I wanted to talk to him in the afterlife.
So I went to a woman who could speak with the dead. I told her my situation, and described my dad. She went into a trance and, after a few moments, said "I'm communing with your father."
Then she smiled, so I punched her.
"What did you do that for?!" she demanded, shocked.
"It's what my dad would have wanted," I told her. "He always said it's important to strike a happy medium."
Karens husband dies...
Karens husband dies. After a few days, she starts missing him, so she buys an Ouija board and contacts her husband.
Karen: Honey, can you listen to me?
Husband: Yes
Karen: Are you happy in afterlife?
Husband: Yes
Karen: Is it better than your life on earth?
Husband: Yes
Karen: Nice. So how's heaven?
Husband: Who said I'm in heaven?
Did you hear about the new Italian restaurant that just opened in the afterlife?
It's called Pasta Way.
A young boy and his father are looking up at the night sky
The young boy gazes in amazement and then turns to his father.
Dad, where do you think we go when we die?
I believe that when we die our souls join the stars, son.
I've always heard that the afterlife is a gift that not everyone gets.
I'm not sure if it's a gift, but it's definitely a constellation prize.
Hitler, Stalin, and Napolean are complaining in the afterlife...
Hitler whines "if I had Russian oil, I would have flattened Moscow."
Stalin replies "if I had the German Lufftwaffe, I would have taken over all of Europe."
Then Napolean says "if I had Russian and German propaganda nobody would know I had lost."
Not a knee-slapper, but it's probably not a repost.
Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...
Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...
She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one." He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".
There has never been a ghost sighting in Finland
All the ghosts who died there went on to the afterlife due to them having no un-Finnish-ed business.
(OC) A Killer Dies, And Meets His Victim In The Afterlife...
The killer stares awkwardly at the victim, the victim stares back. Unsure what to do, the killer finally says, "Well... This feels pretty tense."
The victim replies, "Oh, we're past tense."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the afterlife virgins jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working afterlife nico piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.