After Marriage Jokes

• Short After Marriage Jokes
• After Marriage One Liners
• Before Marriage After Marriage Jokes
• Before And After Marriage Jokes
• More After Marriage Jokes

Funniest After Marriage Short Jokes

Short after marriage jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The after marriage humour may include short before marriage after marriage jokes also.

1. I asked my mum "How much is a couple?" "2 or 3" she replied.
   Probably explains why her marriage collapsed.
2. My mother and father found each other in a gay bar of all places.... 24 years in to their marriage unfortunately
3. Doctor: You might have a phobia of marriage. Do you think you have the symptoms? Man: Can't say I do.
   Doctor: Yes. That's the main one.
4. If Christians are against gay marriage... Why do they always talk about Jesus marryin' Joseph?
5. Son asks dad how much does marriage cost? Dad: i don't know son I'm still paying for it
6. One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage I accidentally texted my wife I'm having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.
7. Wife: Stop pretending your life is a youtube video!! It's ruining our marriage! Me: Do you guys think it's ruining our marriage? Let me know in the comments below!
8. After years of marriage, I've finally learned the ultimate secret to keep a woman satisfied in bed... Let her keep sleeping.
9. Therapist: It seems like you have an acute phobia of marriage. Do you know the symptoms? Patient: I can't say that I do.
   Therapist: Exactly. That's one of them.
10. Never get married. It'll only end in divorce. The statistics don't lie. 100% of divorces started with marriage. Can't say I didn't warn you.

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After Marriage One Liners

Which after marriage one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with after marriage? I can suggest the ones about before marriage and before and after marriage.

1. Jeff Bezos only got divorced because he realized his marriage was a union.
2. How do stoners propose to one another? Marriage, you wanna?
3. What did Jay-Z call beyonce before marriage? Feyonce
4. What's the most common marriage proposal? You're what!
5. Marriage is a lot like being a meteorologist. No matter what you say, you're still wrong.
6. When does a man ask for a woman's hand in marriage? When he gets tired of his own hand.
7. Marriage is like a seesaw. It's not fun if one of them is fat.
8. Marriage brings two people together to solve issues they never had before
9. Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
10. How I got out of an abusive marriage I stopped hitting my wife
11. What goes on forever with no head? A loveless marriage.
12. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
13. how do stoners propose? "Marriage, you wanna?"
14. Why did Jeff Bezos get divorced? He realized his marriage was a union.
15. What has 4 arms and 4 legs and never works out? Marriage

Before Marriage After Marriage Jokes

Here is a list of funny before marriage after marriage jokes and even better before marriage after marriage puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• When I was a kid... ... I asked my mum what a couple was and she said, 'Oh, two or three'. And she wonders why her marriage didn't work out.
• My parents decided the key to a successful marriage is going out to a fancy restaurant twice a week. My dad goes out Mondays and my mom goes out Fridays.
• My marriage was a like a hurricane. At the beginning there was a lot of blowing, but in the end I lost my house.
• My wife came out to me after for horrible years of marriage and revealed she was a lesbian and that she wished she'd married another woman Which finally gave us something in common.
• Gay Marriage Licenses So, 22 counties in Alabama are refusing to issue gay marriage licenses on the grounds that they believe in the traditional marriage of a man and his sister.
• One spelling mistake can destroy your marriage, a husband sent a text to his wife reading I'm having a wonderful time, I wish you was her.
• Therapist: "I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know the symptoms?" Me: "I can't say I do."
  Therapist: "That's one of them."
• Every marriage has 3 rings. First is the engagement ring. Second, the wedding ring. Then comes the suffering.
• What advice did Obi-Wan give Luke when Luke's marriage was falling apart? Use divorce, Luke
• My wife thinks that my obsesion with Youtube is killing our marriage Well do you think that it is? Comment down below! Like and sub to my channel.

Before And After Marriage Jokes

Here is a list of funny before and after marriage jokes and even better before and after marriage puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My son asked what marriage was like. I said, "It's fine." And gave him the silent treatment for three days.
• They say marriage is like a three-ring circus First, you get the engagement ring.
  Then, you get the wedding ring.
  And finally, you get suffering
• My marriage counselor asked if it was true that I generally wake up grumpy in the morning I said, "Nah, most of the time I just let her sleep"
• Guys, if your marriage fails don't just blame her. It takes 2 people to make a toxic relationship. Blame her and her mother.
• What is the difference between marriage and death? When you're dead you don't wish that you were married.
• 44% of Marriages end in divorce. That means 56% of marriages are fatal.
  I love statistics.
• After divorcing from my ten year marriage, I started dating again and was soon using muscles I'd forgotten I had. Mainly when I smiled.
• A joke I wrote in the style of Mitch Hedberg... I'm gonna change my name to 'marriage,' man.
  That way, all those girls out there can be saving themselves for *me*!
• Why's it taking so long to legalise gay marriage in the whole of the US? I mean, America had four fathers and it turned out alright
• What are the names of the first two men to get married under the new Irish gay marriage law? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick

The Funniest After Marriage Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about after marriage you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean married life jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make after marriage pranks.