The Best 10 After Dinner Speaking Jokes

Following is our collection of funny After Dinner Speaking jokes. There are some after dinner speaking breakfast lunch jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these after dinner speaking luncheon puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest After Dinner Speaking Jokes and Puns

Bringing her home to meet mother

I told my new girlfriend that my mother was very hard of hearing and that she should speak loud and slow. I told my mother that my girlfriend was mentally challenged and to please be polite.
I'm looking forward to Christmas dinner.

During a quiet moment at a White House dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with Secretary of State, Tillerson.

"I bought Donald a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say more than two hundred words!"

Wow, that's impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize he just speaks the words. He doesn't really understand what they all mean.

"Oh, I know", replied Melania, but neither does the parrot."

A Glasgow girl goes to the Civic Center to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the civil servant?

"10" replies the girl.

"10???" says the civil servant.. "What are their names?"

"Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and.....eh...Alec

"Doesn't that get confusing?" "

Naw..." says the girl "its great because if thur oot playin in the street, ah jist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or ALEC, GO TO BED NOW 'n' they aw dae it..."

"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed civil servant.

"'at's easy," says the girl... "Ah just use thur surnames"

A man from the Census Bureau knocks on an apartment door in the projects

A black woman answers the door and the man asks, "Excuse me, Ma'am, how many people live here?"

The woman replies, "Me and my 12 children".

"Wow" the man exclaims, "I had better go get an extra record sheet so I can write down all of their names".

"No, you won't need to" she says, "I named them all Leeroy".

The man stops for a second with a puzzled look on his face. "But Ma'am, how do you call them each to dinner?"

"I just yell 'Leeroy, time for dinner!' and they all come".

"But then how do you get them to go to bed?"

"Same thing. I just yell 'Leeroy, time for bed!' and they all get to bed".

"So what do you do when you want to speak to them one on one?"

"That's easy, I just call them by their last name."

The Jew says...

A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner.

Catholic: I have a large fortune… I am going to buy Citibank!

Protestant: I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!

Muslim: I am a fabulously rich prince… I intend to purchase Microsoft!

They all wait for the Jew to speak…

The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes a sip of his coffee,
looks at them and casually says: I'm not selling!!


A man took a woman out for dinner...

but she didn't speak a word of English. They were having a great time, though, feeding each other, flirting, touching and giggling. After the meal is over, the woman draws a picture of a bed on a napkin and gives a sly wink. The man still can't figure out how she knew he was in the furniture business.

The comments in another thread were slamming Readers Digest jokes, and that's where this one came from.

At the dinner table one night...

...a father asked his son how his day in school went.

"Oh, it was great, Dad! I got a part in the school play."

"Really?" said the father. "Tell me about it."

"Well, I play the part of a man who's been married 20 years."

The father said, "That's great, son. And if you do a good job, maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."

I have 10 sons and 2 daughters, and I gave the same name to all of them, Jamie...

...It's quite practical, she said, if I need to wake them up I just shout "wake up Jamie!". If I need them to eat I just say "Jamie! Dear, dinner is ready!". They all obey simultaneously.

The interviewer asks "So how do you refer to them when you need to speak to one of them specifically?"

Easy - she replied - I call them by their lastname!

A farmer at the dinner table with his 2 daughters and his son

The farmer is sitting at the dinner table enjoying his meal. When 1 of his daughters speaks up: "Dad I have to confess something ...". "I'm lesbian". The farmer is a bit suprised but replies with: "That's ok darling". Then the second daughter also speaks up: "Euhh I'm also lesbian". To wich the farmer replies: "Does nobody in this house like boys"? To wich the son slowly raises his hand.

A hillbilly family's only son saves up money to go to college.

After about three years, he comes back home. They are sitting around the dinner table, when the dad says, ''Well son, you done gone to college, so you must be perty smart. Why don't you speak some math fer' us?''

''Ok, Pa.'' The son then says, ''Pi R squared.''

After a moment, the dad says, ''Why son, they ain't teached ya nothin'! Pie are round, cornbread are square.''

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the after dinner speaking evening meal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working after dinner speaking eavesdroppers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes